Funktified by Mandy Carlton

[gotsome2004]

I’ve just been funktified by Mandy Carlton

Mandy Carlton, a petite beautiful blond, extremely well toned and tanned, sashays on stage in a purple and gold sequined harem girl outfit. She's hypnotizing to watch. Especially when she demonstrates her insane flexibility -- bending every which way and wrapping her legs around her head. Damn!

It was Monday lap dancing night at the Balmoral and I was quietly praying that she will come out later to sell her wares

After the show she changes into this snug & skimpy black lace number, her ass hanging out and shakes it to get a rise out of the salivating sausage factory as she saunters around the room guy to guy with an impish lets-have–fun-tonight attitude.
She hops right in beside me, gorgeous in her black lingerie and stiletto high heels and begins dancing to a mo-town 70’s tune.
Would you like a ticket darling?
“Sure” I say as I very plainly check out her ass and well-toned legs
“Would you like a private show instead baby?”
I says: “I must warn you that I can be very easily persuaded for a private lap dance with a gorgeous babe like you”
She grins devilishly and gives me a preview by shaking her money makers in my face.
She squeals: “Would you like a lap dance baby!?”
My nuts twitch uncontrollably and clearing my throat I say: “I’ll take 2 please @ $30 per song” and we leave.

She sits me down on “The chair” behind the curtain and rips off her top to bare her giant bolt-on boobs that wobbled gloriously and then turns around and bends over sliding off her black lace panties baring in full glory a magnificent well-toned ass worthy of a Greek athlete

She teasingly gyrates her ass just above my lap to the tune of a loud & funky song that throbs in tandem with my quickening heartbeat, and then lowers her soft swirling cheeks that brush generously over a swelling organ that is aroused to a standing ovation.
She can sense the new audience member and works “it” into her performance by skillfully wrapping Oscar Myer on either side of her firm bun cheeks and stroked vigorously up and down. She playfully turns her head around and asks if I’d like it just like that. I squeak “yeah, just like that”

I love bikini tans and I admired hers that bent in an elegant line across her ass in the shape of a smile.
I could not withhold my urge to run my fingers lightly along those lines and quickly without any protest my hands begin to explore admiringly the beautiful curves of her ever gyrating bottom that was lotioned smooth, soft and gave off the sweet scent of Lavender.

A song ends and behind the curtain the crowd begins applauding the lady on stage next door. I applaud my Mandy by slapping tepidly her right ass cheek.
“Harder!” She says teasingly
I slap a big “plop” on her left cheek
“HARDER!!”
I laugh as do the dejay and others behind the curtain
HAAARRRDEEEER!!!
I slap her ass around like a Djembe drum as we laugh
The dancing ends

Mandy Carlton has been voted best buns Vancouver and had been featured in most clubs here in the peg as a dancer.

She is not an escort unfortunately

She will be returing to Vancouver soon

 

[tom25]

Ahhh ... the allure of the lap dance. I'm a total loss when it comes to gorgeous strippers and lap dances. Sign me up and take my money!!!

Tom

 

[ShyGuy1980]

Awesome review, Gotsome. Like the humour you put into it as well, lol.

 

[Chantal]

Michelle Lee is a very good entertainer.She is a "FEATURE" and from Australia (I BELEIVE) but very entertaining anf flexible and unique!!She is a great "SHOW" and they are few and far in between!

 

[tom25]

Michelle Lee is a very good entertainer.She is a "FEATURE" and from Australia (I BELEIVE) but very entertaining anf flexible and unique!!She is a great "SHOW" and they are few and far in between!

Is she a tall platinum blonde with big pouty lips and just the most amazing rack on the planet. I think she's Irish ... at least that's what she told me but at the time I was having trouble hearing b/c my head was buried between her breasts. She was at the Gentleman's Club last summer and was giving lap dances. There was fucking line up!!!

Tom

 

[Chantal]

You are absolutly right "that is my girl" she can work a stage pole!!Almost like a Pamela Lee(version).She is around and she is "IRISH"!!

 

[Chantal]

I've seen her at the gentleman club and teaser's "ONLY"

 

[tom25]

You are absolutly right "that is my girl" she can work a stage pole!!Almost like a Pamela Lee(version).She is around and she is "IRISH"!!

Straight long platinum blonde hair, gorgeous smile ... those pouty lips. And when you're done your private dance she leans in real close and whispers from about 3 milimeters into your ear, with this real breathy voice ... "I'm here all week ... come back and see me darling".

OMG ... I could barely walk and I came back over and over again.

I've seen her at the Balmoral as well.

And you're right ... she does an absolutely fabulous stage show. Most of the girls today just kind of walk around the stage and never do anything with the pole. This girl is absolutely incredible. If she were an sp she'd be one of those ones charging astronomical amounts for her time.

Tom

 

[Chantal]

Do you remember a cousin and she was a brunette but her tit were not enhanced and they would dance together!!

 

[tom25]

Do you remember a cousin and she was a brunette but her tit were not enhanced and they would dance together!!

Haven't seen her recently T.J.

If I see she's in town its definitely time for a PERB party!

Everytime I saw her there was brunette that was working with her. Nice rack, but not enhanced. Overall not as attractive as Michelle but when the line to see Michelle was too long she was a fine, fine substitute.

Tom

 

[logsplitter]

This is the first review I ever read of a stripper/lap dancer. It was really well done. Hats off!!

 

[Avery]

I guess it's a case of different strokes for different folks.

Frankly, I don't see the point of spending $20 or more for 3 minutes of a dancer grinding her ass (no matter how nice) on my fully-clothed crotch. It seems some guys drop more that way than it would cost to get FS from an SP. I know, in the Toronto and Montreal areas, some sexual services are available in these places, but even there, it's in a public or semi-public venue.

I'm not being critical of those guys that like that sort of thing, but I just don't understand it. I'll take a fully private FS session in a hotel room, apartment or incall any day.

 

[tom25]

I guess it's a case of different strokes for different folks.

Frankly, I don't see the point of spending $20 or more for 3 minutes of a dancer grinding her ass (no matter how nice) on my fully-clothed crotch. It seems some guys drop more that way than it would cost to get FS from an SP. I know, in the Toronto and Montreal areas, some sexual services are available in these places, but even there, it's in a public or semi-public venue.

I'm not being critical of those guys that like that sort of thing, but I just don't understand it. I'll take a fully private FS session in a hotel room, apartment or incall any day.

Overall I think you're right. A good lap dance is really something though, and I think its worth a bit of money. Unless a girl is exceptional though, I don't like spending the money. Especially at Vancouver prices. If you're paying $30 or $40 bucks (or more) for a lap dance its just ridiculous. The $10 lap dances in montreal ... you can have some pretty good fun for a hundred bucks.

I got into pooning first by going to strip clubs and getting lap dances ... when they just weren't doing it for me anymore then I went to some parlours and then finally to independents.

I don't really compare the two ... dances versus pooning. To me they are completely different experiences.

Tom

 

[tom25]

I agree with you also Avery. I refuse to pay for a lap dance except this one occassion. I was on a business trip in the Twin Cities and my partner and I went to a strip club. There were many fine looking ladies there offering lap dances. I refused for all of them except one. I am an ass man, so when this blond came up to me and asked me for a dance I politely refused until she walked away from me. She had the most amazing back side I have ever seen. I swiftly walked up to her and to make a long story short spent the next 10 or 12 songs with her amazing butt in my face.
Believe me I tried to see her outside of the bar but alas she politely refused out of fear of being fired.

Joe

You are a stronger man that me ... I am soooo weak. I try to say no ... and sometimes do, but after like the 3rd approach I find it damn near impossible to refuse.

The placing of atm's in strip clubs is a very evil plot and probably should be outlawed. I need this for my own protection!!!

Tom

 

[tom25]

I guess I am not that much stronger because I spent about 12 songs on her and propositioned the hell out of her later.

Joe

Yeah ... but I do that with every one of them!!!

 

[Azcanuck]

Joe BC

Hey Joe,

Which club did you go to in Minny?

AZC

 

[Mchatte]

Best lap dance(s) was in a southern US city. I was wearing shorts without underwear on a hot summer day and decided to pop in for a dance. Well, this cute hard bodied chick rubbed her ass all over me and then rubbed her face up and down on my crotch pushing against the resistance. She then slipped down my fly and quickly took a few quick mouthfuls looking around to see if we were being watched. Next time I was back, we took it even further!

At the same club the following year, this 5' 8" blonde was rubbing and stroking and stood up on the couch where I was seated and she placed a foot on either side of my legs. She waved her tiny white short covered crotch 2 inches from my face and then she edged forward moving the crotch to the side with her hand. Now that my friends was a real lap dance! I can thtill thee it tho clearly.... I looked over and the guy seated next to me was doing the same thing with his girl. He had a red beard and it was kinda humorous because it looked almost like someone using Kurly Kate to clean a stubborn hard to reach spot.

M

 

[Arizona40]

I don't want to talk about lap dances.
After 2 years. I'm still kicking myself after dropping 3 thousand over 4 hours in a private booth at a club in Toronto. Fuck!

 

[tom25]

I don't want to talk about lap dances.
After 2 years. I'm still kicking myself after dropping 3 thousand over 4 hours in a private booth at a club in Toronto. Fuck!

Had to be either the brass rail or the landing strip.

That's a lot ... last time I was in toronto I dropped $800 over about 1 1/2 hours. For a variety of reasons I was feeling kind of sorry for myself.

I don't really regret it, but I wouldn't mind having the cash back. 3 grand ... that's really good/bad!!! I hope it was on more than one girl! If not, did you get her to at least go out with you???

Tom

 

[Arizona40]

Landing Stripped !!!!

3 guys and 3 girls squeezed into 1 (larger) booth. It was just a big 4 hour long party. Not quite FS but did get in some DATY. Got so pissed I killed the C/card and they had to pour me out when they opened the door.

Got back to my hotel room about 1 am, called an agency, she had to come back twice because I was so drunk I gave them the wrong room number (oops). Finally showed up at around 3:00 and stayed 1.5 hours and I was downstairs by 7:15 am for a meeting.

Tom, your bringing back painful memories. Cut it out!
Ahhh, if only to be 43 again.