Etiquette: No climax, and a posting a non-stellar review.

[Witty1]

Hey guys,

I'm new to the arena here so I'm trying to feel my way around to speak. So two situations I'd like to hear people's opinion on, both pooners and SPs.

I'm a nice guy, respectful to the ladies, and am very attentive to the feelings of others. All around good guy, great sense of humor, and in the neighborhood to get my fix while I search for Ms. Right.

1) So let's say I go to an SP, and for various reasons know that I will not be able to climax once we get involved. I typically need some type of attraction or "connection" to lose myself in the moment. This may not happen in an encounter for me b/c of several things:

a) She's obviously faking. (overacting, exaggerating your size, etc)
b) She's under the influence to get through her job. (not an SW)
c) Outside stimuli (Can hear the neighbors talking, while the bed is making a bunch of noise, etc)
d) Not all that attracted to her, but just enough, and combined with the above, it's just not doing it for me.

Typically, I let the SP off the hook, by saying thank you, but it's just not gonna happen, but to her credit, she wants to the seal the deal. Now if it's reason A or B, do you tell her that for own benefit, or just leave it at that? I don't think I have the heart to tell the truth in that situation.

How have you handled? or What do you say?

Now question two is along the same lines: Now let's say after this experience, you have to decide to post a review or not. (I've been lurking long enough, and wanted to start contributing here.)

But lets say you go see a well reviewed SP here, and she's high as a kite, or drunk as a skunk for your session. It's a complete turnoff for me, but at the same time, she definitely puts forth a valent effort to try and bring you to completion. I mean a really heartfelt desire to get you there, but because of reasons A, B, C and D (Primarily A and B), it's not gonna happen.

Should I review her still? -- It just seems brutal to post a review about an SP that could effect her income based on some of these issues.

Your two cents will certainly be appreciated and saved for a rainy day.

 

[necko]

U gotta be LE fuck off

 

[Witty1]

U gotta be LE fuck off

Wow, thanks for your input.

Extraordinarily helpful, I admire your conciseness and eloquence.

 

[hargow]

i would say: don't tell her why you don't want her to keep pumping. if she really is high, she might go balistic and the last thing you want is a high, vexed woman throwing shit at you or screaming rape or something.

and yeah, post a review. you think we want to deal with some coked up crazy SP? if it affects her business, then it's her fault for working while high anyway. a lot of people who have other jobs would be fired for being caught high.

if the review is just about you guys not making a connection, most viewers aren't going to let that sway us unless you also write something like "she passed an above average amount of gas" or "her kids kept running in the room asking if they could play horsey too". we're horny, and will give her business if the rest of it sounds ok, so don't worry about it. just because you didn't make a connection doesn't mean we won't.

re: her being hurt or affected by not being able to get you off, i don't think most of them really care all that much as it's not an emotional thing. we're clients, not guys that they've had a crush on since 6th grade summer camp. that is to say, they realize that we're all humans and not all of us connect, and i think that if every one of them took it personally when they couldn't get us off (or if we couldn't get off for whatever reason), there would be a lot less SPs.

i think most of them truly do want you to enjoy yourself, because then you're a happy customer, and things go off without a hitch, and hell, you might repeat. and of course many SPs are normal, wonderful human beings who take pride in their jobs as well.

good luck with the ladies, and thanks for making an effort to help us weed out the good ones

 

[Eden]

Witty1

First of all, Witty, relax. When choosing an sp, especially if you know it might be a difficult and frustrating venture for you, spend the time to email or pm with her first to see if the first level of attraction is there. Imho, the benefit of this is, is sheer anticipation and a foreplay adventure (there need not be any dirty talk at all in this feel out stage).
Second, if you have a difficult time, let the sp know in your preliminary correspondences with her and what does and does not work for you, some of us do enjoy challenges, you know!!
Third, if you do see an sp, good, bad, or ugly, you should write a review. Writing a review does not constitute that you have to be a jerk. But just as you wrote above stating the reason why it did not happen for you. Most people, like hargow said, will determine whether this is the person for them or not.
The purpose for a review board is for ALL, to share their experiences and contribute what they can. As you said, Witty, you are a nice guy and are respectful of the ladies, that will come through on the review and not sound mean- I am sure.
Remember, honesty is always the best policy.

 

[Guardian Angel]

First of all, Witty, relax. When choosing an sp, especially if you know it might be a difficult and frustrating venture for you, spend the time to email or pm with her first to see if the first level of attraction is there. Imho, the benefit of this is, is sheer anticipation and a foreplay adventure (there need not be any dirty talk at all in this feel out stage).
Second, if you have a difficult time, let the sp know in your preliminary correspondences with her and what does and does not work for you, some of us do enjoy challenges, you know!!
Third, if you do see an sp, good, bad, or ugly, you should write a review. Writing a review does not constitute that you have to be a jerk. But just as you wrote above stating the reason why it did not happen for you. Most people, like hargow said, will determine whether this is the person for them or not.
The purpose for a review board is for ALL, to share their experiences and contribute what they can. As you said, Witty, you are a nice guy and are respectful of the ladies, that will come through on the review and not sound mean- I am sure.
Remember, honesty is always the best policy.[/QUOT

Eden

Best advice comes from those who are on the other side. I really like your style and the advice was good. I will keep you in mind when I travel to Calgary. And hopefully we can engage in some electronic foreplay like you suggest, before I get there.

The longer the foreplay the better the experience in my mind.

Unless you want it fast first, then slow to go?

 

[IQof10]

Kiss

Keep it simple. L A S and restrictions, donation, location.

Not looking for a Penthouse review. "Just the facts, ma'am."

 

[Rain Man]

U gotta be LE fuck off

I'm with Necko on this on U gotta be LE or gay so fuck off

Okay, maybe you guys are rocket scientists and see something I don't. So why don't you explain yourselves?

 

[Hollybaby]

Well, I think that when someone says the word "stop" or "no", then no further explanation is needed! (unless you're roleplaying) But if she insists, then you must insist too. It's your body and your decision. (what am I, an elementary school teacher here? )

As for posting a review..well, if she's well reviewed and you post a bad review, I bet a lot of people are going to call you a liar.There are some really bitchy people on this board that give reviewers a hard time whenever they something contrary to what the majority says, or when they post a very positive or very negative review. (I haven't figured out why this is...)

However, if you think it's important to let people know, then you should go ahead, and with as much tact as possible. You don't have to lie or be kind, just don't be rude about it. After all, the whole point of this board is to share experiences with others. This was the experience that you had, and it doesn't necessarily reflect the experience that others have had or will have, and I think that a lot of people take the reviews with a grain of salt anyway.

Good luck

 

[totravel]

Okay, maybe you guys are rocket scientists and see something I don't. So why don't you explain yourselves?

I guess they can't think it's possible to have difficulty getting a SOG with an SP.
I agree with Witty1. Been there, done that.
Must be nice to respond entirely to physical stimulation, and not have difficulty getting the frame of mind "connection" to put you over the top.

 

[Herb_The_Perb]

I'm with Necko on this on U gotta be LE or gay so fuck off

Wow -- TWO complete idiots on the same thread.
Why would LE give a shit about this?

 

[richmann]

Why would LE give a shit about this?

When LE poon they want to use the proper ettiquette too!

 

[DeaAphrodite]

First of all, Witty, relax. When choosing an sp, especially if you know it might be a difficult and frustrating venture for you, spend the time to email or pm with her first to see if the first level of attraction is there. Imho, the benefit of this is, is sheer anticipation and a foreplay adventure (there need not be any dirty talk at all in this feel out stage).

I second that heartily! A very large part of the pleasure in an erotic encounter (IMHO) comes from the connection between the participants. If some is time is spent making that connection - either at the beginning of an appointment, or beforehand with emails - it makes for a more relaxed, comfortable, enjoyable time for everyone.

About reviewing, as long as you're truthful and matter-of-fact about it and not rude or insulting, share as much as you want to. Personally, I feel that if there is something that is not working for a client, I hope that he would mention it to me at the time when I have a chance to do something about it and change what I can, or otherwise find another way to make it up to him (customer satisfaction is important to me). This has never come up for me... but if I read in a review something that a client could have told me bothered him but didn't, (and it was something I could have fixed, perfume for example), I'd be really put out.

 

[hargow]

About reviewing, as long as you're truthful and matter-of-fact about it and not rude or insulting, share as much as you want to. Personally, I feel that if there is something that is not working for a client, I hope that he would mention it to me at the time when I have a chance to do something about it and change what I can, or otherwise find another way to make it up to him (customer satisfaction is important to me).

see, there are good SP's who care. so, if you have a preference regarding technique or something like that, bring it up. as long as it's a service related issue that can be easily rectified, i'm sure most good gals will respond positively as they just want to make you feel good. it's good all around: you are happy, they are happy, and you're not going to post anything negative.

i still stick by my guns re: substance abuse, though. i'm sure she's not going to react well to being called out on a fresh track mark that's oozing or a dusty nostril, so in that case, i'd just say "it's not working for me. thanks for your time." then, write about it on here.

and how anybody thinks this guy is LE is beyond me, but even if he is, who cares?

 

[Witty1]

First all, thanks to every non-asshole that posted. I was beginning to think I made a mistake for jumping into PERB. There's always a couple of bad apples.

There's a lot of great stuff here, and I really appreciate the SPs that have responded, as well as the people who verified my first thought, "Why in the hell would LE ask what I asked?"

Since I'm new to the scene, communicating my wants seems "uncomfortable" to me, but I do like the idea of emailing ahead with likes and dislikes as a form of foreplay. I'll just have to find a happy medium to avoid scaring off a provider with specific comments in an email.

I guess the best way would be to ask her I should tell her about my likes and dislikes.

You'd think being in the customer service business, I'd realize what DeaAphrodite said, "I feel that if there is something that is not working for a client, I hope that he would mention it to me at the time when I have a chance to do something about it and change what I can, or otherwise find another way to make it up to him (customer satisfaction is important to me)"

You can't fix what you don't know. Thanks for the reminder.

I'll also be sure to ask if the person is drug/alcohol free during sessions before hand, and have the balls to walk out if she's blitzed upon my arrival. (For the record, there wasn't evidence of hardcore drug usage (I would have walked out then), but she was either fairly drunk or on G or something like that.)

Thanks again for all the constructive responses!

 

[DeaAphrodite]

Since I'm new to the scene, communicating my wants seems "uncomfortable" to me, but I do like the idea of emailing ahead with likes and dislikes as a form of foreplay. I'll just have to find a happy medium to avoid scaring off a provider with specific comments in an email.

I guess the best way would be to ask her I should tell her about my likes and dislikes.

Good points, Witty1. It can be uncomfortable talking about intimate details - most of us don't get nearly enough practice with this. However, in a client/sp situation, (speaking for myself) too much information is never enough. The more I know about what my client's desires, fantasies, or 'quirks' (kinks?) may be, the better I am equipped to provide the service he desires. It is disappointing to have only half the service you hoped for, only because you couldn't communicate what you wanted. I think we sp's are generally a pretty intuitive bunch, having to read people and situations on the spot. But we are not mind readers! If you can ask for what you want, there's a much better chance you'll get it.

One pretty much has to get over fear of 'dirty words' to work in this industry. None of us will be offended by asking frankly for this or that, as long as you're respectful.

 

[ihatemyskirt]

A cop would not use the word eloquence.

 

[Witty1]

If you can ask for what you want, there's a much better chance you'll get it.

One pretty much has to get over fear of 'dirty words' to work in this industry. None of us will be offended by asking frankly for this or that, as long as you're respectful.

Well said. I guess I like the illusion of acting spontaneously, so email foreplay sounds like the perfect solution for me I've always kept email conversations to a bare minimum as I had the impression that getting into details would make the SP feel like you were LE trying to trap them.

Regardless, my next time, I'm turning over a new sheet.

Not that I'm in to this, but when I read the "as long as you're respectful" I couldn't help but picture in my head a guy with an SP saying, "With all due respect, will you shove a dildo in my ass."

A cop would not use the word eloquence.

LOL, that was hilarious. Page 69 in the Cop Handbook. "Use the word eloquence, and they will except you as their own."

 

[sonoman]

Quote:
Originally Posted by bitz420
"I'm with Necko on this on U gotta be LE or gay so fuck off"

LE? I can see the potential to arouse paranoia in some, but how in the hell does this make him 'gay' ??

 

[DeaAphrodite]

Not that I'm in to this, but when I read the "as long as you're respectful" I couldn't help but picture in my head a guy with an SP saying, "With all due respect, will you shove a dildo in my ass."

LOL! You forgot to say 'please'.