Ethics for Johns? (SP thoughts welcome)

[dontforgetto]

Im curious how guys (and gals) into pooning think about ethics of it all.

I personally don't understand why buying or selling sex should be considered unethical, but presumably a lot of people do.

That being said, I do worry about whether or not providers are free to make their own choices. I'm not sure how to feel about agencies. On the one hand it does seem to provide a level of security for SPs, but on the other I can't help but be concerned about what the cost of that security is.

This is a community that talks about such things openly, so I am curious as to what people think.

 

[UhOh]

Protect your health first. If you are married then worry about what your wife will think if you are caught, also the impact on your employment.
There is no spaghetti monster in the shy so don't lose sleep over what he or his followers might think.

 

[dontforgetto]

Protect your health first. If you are married then worry about what your wife will think if you are caught, also the impact on your employment.
There is no spaghetti monster in the shy so don't lose sleep over what he or his followers might think.

Agree, I'm single myself so that's not really on my radar.

In Canada at least it seems like the remaining barriers against legalizing sex work are the idea that sex workers themselves are being exploited and that trafficking feeds the industry. From what I can tell on PERB this doesn't seem to be true, so I am curious as to whether that concern hits home with anyone on here, on either side.

 

[dontforgetto]

If she looks like she could possibly be underage ask for ID.

If she’s overly intoxicated, more than a couple drinks, or super sketchy or nodding off, walk. Even if upon booking she agreed to certain acts, she can’t consent. Just get the fuck out!!

Make educated decisions about the health risks you are taking. Everything we do in life carries some level of risk, just don’t be ignorant about it.

When she blacklists you before ever seeing her, or after 1 session, 2 sessions or 50, just MOVE ON!!

I'm happy to see an SP weigh in so thank you, everything you said makes sense. I would hope that is the baseline for everyone on the other end of things.

Perhaps it's just ridiculous to be posting about this here but I would, as a potential client, to be as ethical as possible in who and what I would be supporting. But there's a lot of (understandable) shadiness around who is or is not independent, and what it actually means to be an SP working with a Network (or whatever the term is). Personally, I've never felt comfortable contacting an SP associated with a Network because I have no idea what it means and if the person I'd meet actually chose to be there. Maybe this is ridiculous but at least for me it is a serious issue that stops me from engaging. I can't be the only one who feels this way (I hope?).

My hope in posting is that I can get a sense of what others actually think about this and if I'm way off base here

 

[dontforgetto]

Trafficking does exist, and often it’s not so obvious. Just because someone advertises as “independent” doesn’t always mean it is so. But not all agencies are bad either.

And then we have groups who claim they want to fight trafficking, but label ALL workers as victims, which does nothing except muddy the waters even further.

Exactly! It's seems such a mess. Do you have any advice as to how to stay on the less bad end of those things? (Beyond the advice you already gave, thank you again)

 

[huggzy]

Trafficking does exist, and often it’s not so obvious. Just because someone advertises as “independent” doesn’t always mean it is so. But not all agencies are bad either.

And then we have groups who claim they want to fight trafficking, but label ALL workers as victims, which does nothing except muddy the waters even further.

I walk away from any SP that struggles speaking english and if they look too young I turn and run. That said I don't know if that's helping solve anyone's problems if they are in fact there not under their own free will. I wonder if anyone can make any suggestions as to what a guy can/ought to try and do if someone's situation is suspect and they might actually need help?

 

[clu]

I walk away from any SP that struggles speaking english and if they look too young I turn and run. That said I don't know if that's helping solve anyone's problems if they are in fact there not under their own free will. I wonder if anyone can make any suggestions as to what a guy can/ought to try and do if someone's situation is suspect and they might actually need help?

Maybe carry a card that says in Chinese and/or Korean "if you are not doing this by choice, contact..." and give it to her before you walk out?

 

[Riza]

But there's a lot of (understandable) shadiness around who is or is not independent, and what it actually means to be an SP working with a Network (or whatever the term is). Personally, I've never felt comfortable contacting an SP associated with a Network because I have no idea what it means and if the person I'd meet actually chose to be there. Maybe this is ridiculous but at least for me it is a serious issue that stops me from engaging. I can't be the only one who feels this way (I hope?).

There are "networks" and there are "agencies". I never thought of it before but network is probably a good choice of word to describe my house. Most of the girls have their own phones, answer and book for themselves, decide what days and hours they work, set their services and rates and come and go as they please and some also work from other locations or do their own outcalls if they choose. 4 of us are together tonight just finishing up Christmas and dinner together having taken the day off. A bunch of independents that have chosen to network together for safety and convenience.

I would be naive to think there aren't other operations that are not as civil to their workers but I think you will find most agencies in this area to be standup type operations but that's something you will have to determine yourself. If its an issue for you stick to known independents that are reviewed and or paid advertisers on this board and you should be able to put your mind at ease.

I think Perb is your go to place to keep you away from the dark side.

 

[sevenofnine]

if you think there are no women out there that are in a bad place, situation,
not all, I would not hazard a guess as to what percentage

.but from my own experience life is long and I think most of us are in a bad place at some point in our life, if you have never been then your one of the lucky ones.
and I mean just been so lonely or left out, or broke, or struggling with addictions yeah we all struggle with things.

and I don't think you can help somebody until there in a place where they want help.

I think ethically be respectful kind caring and gentle I think that goes for your sp as well as wife and family
that pretty much goes for everyone actually.

the last think you want to do is add to another persons burden, what ever that is. so fucking don't
it is easy to think you have all the answers but you really don't know what is going on in someone's life what they are thinking what they need.

I think it starts with you, take care of yourself be a nice person. like yourself, be your own best friend and companion,
the spread it around.

 

[girth-brooks]

Ethics is huge in this business for both SPs and clients. I myself have a set of ethics that are always followed and IMO have been beneficial to me and making my time with a SP much more comfortable.

 

[golferjohn]

my basic 'rule-of-thumb' is that I'm a guest in someone's home and to act accordingly...pretty simple

 

[Mrmotorscooter]

The most important one is to always respect boundaries and the rest falls into place, you may be amazed how that can enhance the YMMV situation?

 

[myCompanion]

I'm not sure why agencies get a bad name.

Agencies have several different roles:

1) Client base.. lots and lots of regulars. An agency will also handle the advertising, and may accept referrals from others and pay them a fee. For example if a shop or maybe even independent girl is full but someone wants to come now.. they might send him our way.

2) Phone Girls. An independent person may not have as much Independence as you would think. When our girls are off duty.. they are off duty.. no phone calls, no questions, no bookings, no forums, no advertising. It's real time off. A girl working on her own has to handle a lot of incoming calls, texts, booking, etc. Realistically you cannot be fully booked every day answering the phone yourself... each girl gets maybe 100 texts a day easily. How can you be with a client and answer calls?

3) Safety. An agency will deal with 750-1000+ clients a month, and also likely have connections with other groups to share information about bad clients. Which means if you fuck up and do something stupid, your on the NO list for a lot of ladies. Aside from that, there will be safety checks.. guest arrived.. girl reports that he buzzed... hes in.. payment.. ok... agency starts the timer... waiting for girl to say done... time up with no report from girl.. call the girl... call the roommate... call standby person with key to check, etc.

4) Convenience... come into town... here is an apartment you can live in. You can work tomorrow. Don't worry about anything, how can we make your stay more pleasant?

Of course different groups have different structures but you get the idea. Agency doesn't mean bad; there can be a lot of benefits.


Being more on-topic... be polite, respectful.. treat the women like normal women. They are regular people... a lot of what you see is just a show. Off work you wouldn't even know what sort of job they were doing. Basically think about it this way.. the more charming you are.. the more mileage you will get. Think of it as being on a real date... make her laugh, smile, and generally seem to care about her. Trust me on that.

 

[PierreCoeur]

Your website does not work on mobile devices.

 

[Emmy_St_Claire]

I'm not sure why agencies get a bad name.

I know some agencies are probably fantastic, and I know there are a lot of benefits to working at one. However, I've met many many many ladies over the years who have lots of scary complaints about working for agencies, including
Being forced to offer bb services
Being forced to see clients who have hurt them before
Being forced to do 12-hour shifts
Being forced to do duos with girls who have herpes
Being forced to do calls back to back with no time to shower in between

So I think people are pretty justified in being careful which agency they choose, or even avoiding them altogether.

 

[westwoody]

I totally agree with Emmy. There are some horrible agencies that treat women like shit. And some that are great.

Personally I prefer ALL the money goes to the woman.

 

[Lo-ki]

I totally agree with Emmy. There are some horrible agencies that treat women like shit. And some that are great.

Personally I prefer ALL the money goes to the woman.

I totally agree.

 

[myCompanion]

I know some agencies are probably fantastic, and I know there are a lot of benefits to working at one. However, I've met many many many ladies over the years who have lots of scary complaints about working for agencies, including
Being forced to offer bb services
Being forced to see clients who have hurt them before
Being forced to do 12-hour shifts
Being forced to do duos with girls who have herpes
Being forced to do calls back to back with no time to shower in between

So I think people are pretty justified in being careful which agency they choose, or even avoiding them altogether.

I don't see how we could force a woman to do anything. They can come and go as they please. If someone is forcing you to do something, go to the police.

I really think being on your own is dangerous. Everyone has a different opinion I guess.

 

[myCompanion]

Personally I prefer ALL the money goes to the woman.

They agency pays rent, phone staff, advertising, etc.

If the girls work on her own she still needs these services. Even at an agency, the only one really making money are the girls.

Our girls actually make more money with us than independent. So which one is better? She works on her own.. has less guests... but a little more per call.. but then if you divide rent per calls there is more expense per guest.. etc.. or agency, more guests...loose a little per guest, but make it up on volume.

It's really not as simple as you make it sound.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I don't see how we could force a woman to do anything. They can come and go as they please. If someone is forcing you to do something, go to the police.

While this may be true of your agency are you really that naive?