Discretion

[athaire]

Discretion.....what is it to you? Having been witness to some disturbing postings over the last 12 hours on perb that have now been deleted I got to wondering just where is the line? Of course this topic is close to my heart due to my whirlwind of excitement not long ago that resulted in NW postings and tons of hurt feelings on both sides of that equation.

For me out'ing any kind of info that would potentially hurt or expose someones real identity no matter how easily found is a breach of the number one rule of this hobby. Using real names, exposing provider private info these are really hard to look past on the review boards are they not?

Is there any time it is permissible? I am very curious about what the community thinks.

 

[island-guy]

Discretion.....what is it to you? Having been witness to some disturbing postings over the last 12 hours on perb that have now been deleted I got to wondering just where is the line? Of course this topic is close to my heart due to my whirlwind of excitement not long ago that resulted in NW postings and tons of hurt feelings on both sides of that equation.

For me out'ing any kind of info that would potentially hurt or expose someones real identity no matter how easily found is a breach of the number one rule of this hobby. Using real names, exposing provider private info these are really hard to look past on the review boards are they not?

Is there any time it is permissible? I am very curious about what the community thinks.

These threads never ever end well.

 

[HankQuinlan]

I didn't see the posts referred to, but this seems to be an attempt to disturb the shit.

 

[athaire]

These threads never ever end well.

You are probably right. Very rarely do we see civil discussion of sensitive topics.

I didn't see the posts referred to, but this seems to be an attempt to disturb the shit.

No shit disturbing, just a genuine desire to know what people think. I realize that "Me" posting this topic will no doubt be seen by many as shit disturbing. But I am not pointing fingers, not posting quotes or caps. I am seriously wondering about the communities feelings on the topic. Surely this can be no worse than the never ending discussions of what is fair rates for services?

 

[DATY Lover]

I'm thinking that HankQuinlan was refering to... that anyone posting this type of information, the sole purpose would be to cause some shit... Not that your post was written to cause some Shit...

Makes sense...

 

[mimi]

I miss everything! Oh well! I've just been wandering round with a rope around my neck

 

[Puddlegurl]

be thankful you missed it, it was a very sad display..

 

[HankQuinlan]

You are probably right. Surely this can be no worse than the never ending discussions of what is fair rates for services?

Maybe you could set your sights higher than that level of discussion? Of course, discretion is important; there is no discernable reason for bringing it up other than to see some rehashing of whatever drama occurred.

 

[Pillowtalk]

Maybe you could set your sights higher than that level of discussion? Of course, discretion is important; there is no discernable reason for bringing it up other than to see some rehashing of whatever drama occurred.

I'd say the reason is obvious. He seems to perk up if there is an sp to hound.

 

[M1A]

It was not "Jaime's thread." It was not2old's, which similar to this one, begs for tension.

Ok, Ok... fess up time for Mia.

One time a looong time ago, when I worked at SU, I had a call with 3 guys and 2 other ladies I worked with. I was really excited to see the girls, one of whom I was friends with since before our working says, and both of whom I hadn't seen in some time. Anyways, all 6 of us were chit chatting and I started telling a story about a funny confusion over one of the girl's name. I was dropping her real name all over the place. When I FINALLY realized what I had done (which took an embarrassingly long time of her just staring at me with an "OMGWTF" look on her face), I excused myself from the room and bawled my eyes out in the hallway, gained my composure, came back and continued our appointment as if nothing happened. Thankfully, the guys didn't have a clue what really happened. I think that was the most stupid, guilty, shameful moment I have experienced. AND I never did it again.

ps She forgave me

 

[Puddlegurl]

Thanks for sharing that M1A, we all make innocent mistakes. Thats exactly why I never bothered to use a made up name. (jesse) .

Too much chance for mistakes, but you know that "accident" you made was completely innocent with no mean or hurtful intent. Everyone does it ...

And you also know that was far from being anything like the thread that was posted lastnight . That was probably the worst case of "outing" and breach of privacy I've ever seen.

I think its cool you're standing up for your "work-mate" but I know for a fact the people involved will NOT forgive what was said.

It was not "Jaime's thread." It was not2old's, which similar to this one, begs for tension.

Ok, Ok... fess up time for Mia.

One time a looong time ago, when I worked at SU, I had a call with 3 guys and 2 other ladies I worked with. I was really excited to see the girls, one of whom I was friends with since before our working says, and both of whom I hadn't seen in some time. Anyways, all 6 of us were chit chatting and I started telling a story about a funny confusion over one of the girl's name. I was dropping her real name all over the place. When I FINALLY realized what I had done (which took an embarrassingly long time of her just staring at me with an "OMGWTF" look on her face), I excused myself from the room and bawled my eyes out in the hallway, gained my composure, came back and continued our appointment as if nothing happened. Thankfully, the guys didn't have a clue what really happened. I think that was the most stupid, guilty, shameful moment I have experienced. AND I never did it again.

ps She forgave me

 

[athaire]

Athaire, I know you're saying that you genuinely want to discuss this topic, but do you want to discuss it because:

A. There is confusion about discretion?
B. There is something new about discretion that needs to be talked about?
C. Jamie Lane's topic?

I am wanting to discuss it because I am wondering if there is some sort of confusion about the topic. Seems whenever there is anger involved things slip that should be kept quiet. Maybe that should be a topic that is discussed. JL certainly brought into specific relief something that I have been wondering about for some time, is it common to let loose the hounds when in the heat of anger?

I know that I am no angel, but even when beset with nonstop neg attention I have never gone so far as to out anyone. I also realize that you have issue with me Kim and I accept that, no hard feelings. We will never see eye to eye and I am okay with that, as evidenced by my pos reps to you recently. Contrary to what you and others think I have let it go. I would like to point out though that many of my online dust ups have revolved around this topic. Take Gina, as an example, she and I got into it for basically the same reason as we saw yesterday. I have also jumped on pooners for the same thing though that isn't as hot a topic with the ladies wanting me to look like a stalker etc......

If I am upsetting you or anyone else by bringing up this sensitive topic I apologize that really wasn't my intent regardless of what you and others would like to think.

 

[athaire]

Um, Jaime told the truth, noone wanted to hear it. End of story.

Jessie stop sending me hateful things Im only even nice to you.

I would encourage everyone to let up on JL as really what is gained by further hounding of the lady? Save the nasty pm's as there is no need for more negative attention is there?

 

[Puddlegurl]

Omg woman you're on something...... I was greeted by a hateful note when I logged on this morning from you, why would you deny that when its easily posted. I just wouldn't stoop that low to broadcast your poison to the masses. I'm sure they really don't give a rats ass.

Um, Jaime told the truth, noone wanted to hear it. End of story.

Jessie stop sending me hateful things Im only even nice to you.

 

[athaire]

Thank you Athaire, and I have apologized to the lady i may have hurt, if she is over it so should everyone else ya think?

I was responding to a call for the truth, I am a huge fan of the truth. I am just confused by those who pick and choose their truths.

You are welcome. I am not trying to sling mud at you, just get a grown up discussion going about a topic that is very sensitive and obviously affects us all.

 

[Miss*Bijou]

Sorry if I'm not really on the discretion topic here but since there is a thread in question being discussed I want to say that while I'm not sure I saw all of the now deleted thread, I wanted to comment on the OP's action in creating it to begin with and his obvious intention even though he did not own up to it and tried to paint it as an innocent search for "the truth".


The OP created the thread to bait Jamie and continued to escalate the situation purposely trying to back her into a corner. That he masked his real intention by making it seem like a harmless and innocent attempt to get the "truth" made the whole thing that much more explosive. I think it was unbelievably low regardless of what the "truth" is. He instigated a vicious attack and his baiting was vindictive and ugly. I think it's disgusting regardless of what you think of anyone or what you believe the "truth" is.


My 2 cents.

I believe that girls should have each others back and show people that we are respectable women with stong values and a desire to be good people. When girls take cheap stabs at each other it is like taking two steps back. How are we supposed to have men or society respect us when we can't even respect each other ?

I agree. It's getting old and no one cares or is interested in the back and forth attacks.

 

[athaire]

Sorry if I'm not really on the discretion topic here but since there is a thread in question being discussed I want to say that while I'm not sure I saw all of the now deleted thread, I wanted to comment on the OP's action in creating it to begin with and his obvious intention even though he did not own up to it and tried to paint it as an innocent search for "the truth".


The OP created the thread to bait Jamie and continued to escalate the situation purposely trying to back her into a corner. That he masked his real intention by making it seem like a harmless and innocent attempt to get the "truth" made the whole thing that much more explosive. I think it was unbelievably low regardless of what the "truth" is. He instigated a vicious attack and his baiting was vindictive and ugly. I think it's disgusting regardless of what you think of anyone or what you believe the "truth" is.


My 2 cents.





I agree. It's getting old and no one cares or is interested in the back and forth attacks.

That may or may not be true Bijou. And I could certainly see the escalation of the thread as I was following it closely. But back to my question......posting sensitive info while in an angry exchange seems to happen more and more, is this becoming more common and accepted? I wonder how you feel about it? Why do you think some resort to that tactic?

 

[Bad Santa]

The truth is out there and it stinks!

Discretion.....what is it to you? Having been witness to some disturbing postings over the last 12 hours on perb that have now been deleted I got to wondering just where is the line? Of course this topic is close to my heart due to my whirlwind of excitement not long ago that resulted in NW postings and tons of hurt feelings on both sides of that equation.

For me out'ing any kind of info that would potentially hurt or expose someones real identity no matter how easily found is a breach of the number one rule of this hobby. Using real names, exposing provider private info these are really hard to look past on the review boards are they not?

Is there any time it is permissible? I am very curious about what the community thinks.

I didn't see the posts referred to, but this seems to be an attempt to disturb the shit.

I'm thinking that HankQuinlan was refering to... that anyone posting this type of information, the sole purpose would be to cause some shit... Not that your post was written to cause some Shit...

Makes sense...

If it looks like shit, smells like shit, it's usually SHIT!

You just love stirring up a pot of it, don't you Athaire?

 

[athaire]

Wow Santa thank you for the productive contribution......what are your thoughts on the topic now that you have gotten that off your chest?

 

[Miss*Bijou]

I actually don't see it like that at all. There are a lot of girls on here that support each other and get along.

It doesn't have to be that way and the girls who work in a dog eat dog kinda manner are usually the ones that end up losing clientelle in the end. It's a pretty high maintence lifestyle to be involved in everyone elses business and is draining I'm sure.

I know better then to treat every girl like my best friend and tell all my secrets but I don't have to be a bitch to get my way either.

Smart girl. I agree 100%.