Anyone else in the same boat?

[deslicher]

Ok this is going to be an odd thread. You know how we all think we are unique and have different experiences.

Just wondering if there are any men or women out there in their 30's or 40's who(s)e:

1) Parents are dead and have been since you were in your 20's?
2) Actually saw their parents kill themselves slowly by their lifestyle choices.
3) As a 5-7 yr old you had to actually take care of one of your parents because they wanted to die.
4) As an adult, you've never been married, have no children and have difficulty making close friends?

I guess I could say more, but I think that's enough.
The most problematic of all these is the fact of not having close friends.

It seems I've been reaching out to people in an appropriate manner for many many years, in fact I've all but given up actually thinking a person of the opposite sex is going to be attracted to me. I can go hiking and play all the sports I want, but knowing that sorta makes me not wanna be here anymore.

It's like my soul bit off more than It could chew coming here in this body, it's almost like the "perfect storm". Having all this shit happen then realizing that your not even that attractive either or so average that people don't notice.

Of course I've done alot of work over the years, but for me anyway, I did it for a reason, to have a better life. I guess the world is how I thought when I was 7....very shallow.

 

[trentanator]

yes there will be people in or were

in the same or similar situation as you

please get some help you sound very depressed and lonely go talk to a professional

there are a number of good people in this city i am sure that can help you

it never hurts to talk to someone that is trained and able to help you

don't wait!!! get some help

 

[deslicher]

in the same or similar situation as you

please get some help you sound very depressed and lonely go talk to a professional

there are a number of good people in this city i am sure that can help you

it never hurts to talk to someone that is trained and able to help you

don't wait!!! get some help

I kinda figured this might be a response, and in some way I appreciate it.

Of course I've already talked to alot of people in my lifetime, you see I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with me. Not because of denial, but rather because I've talked to so many people over many years and not one has said I had any particular problems in my mind, and I just tended to override antidepressants.

I honestly believe that "feeling better" is greatly aided by what we perceive as "good things" happening to us. People don't just "feel good" for nothing unless they had a memory or memories of good things happening. I'm working on "mind over mood" right now.....we'll see how it works I guess.

 

[namssa]

You are not going to go "seven of nine" on us are you?

 

[Markl]

My mom died when I was 21 from cancer from smoking basically.
My dad just passed away this past march 15th. He was 92 though and had lived a full life.

I feel for you deslicher. I am not a very charismatic person myself. I am decent looking and all, just a bit of a loner, always have been.

I do have a few good close friends, but they are back in Montreal. I have been in Edmonton for 6 years now and haven't really made any friends that I can say I am really close to.

Cherry at VT is probably the person I am closest to oddly. I can tell her anything and we talk incessantly about each others lives.

You aren't alone out there deslicher. Also, you are probably better off than people who live on the street and have no one to rely on.

We should go for a beer sometime and compare stories.

 

[deslicher]

You are not going to go "seven of nine" on us are you?

Ummm, no, because I think my grammar is a bit better.

 

[deslicher]

My mom died when I was 21 from cancer from smoking basically.
My dad just passed away this past march 15th. He was 92 though and had lived a full life.

I feel for you deslicher. I am not a very charismatic person myself. I am decent looking and all, just a bit of a loner, always have been.

I do have a few good close friends, but they are back in Montreal. I have been in Edmonton for 6 years now and haven't really made any friends that I can say I am really close to.

Cherry at VT is probably the person I am closest to oddly. I can tell her anything and we talk incessantly about each others lives.

You aren't alone out there deslicher. Also, you are probably better off than people who live on the street and have no one to rely on.

We should go for a beer sometime and compare stories.

Yes, I'm better off than many people, just like the saying about someone complaining and depressed that they had no shoes until they met someone with no feet.

I'm in Calgary, and I appreciate your response.

 

[Markl]

Hmmm... I'm 43 so he'd of been 49 at the time.
Yes, I am the baby of the family.

 

[namssa]

Men as a general rule don't tend to have a lot of close friends. I only have a couple of close friends that I would really go out of my way to assist, but I would do whatever needed to be done if they needed the help.

Other than that, there are some guys I know, and maybe go for coffee or a beer once in a while. Not really close friends, rather just guys I know.



At least I am not like certain people out there who feel the need to go onto a whole bunch of threads and fill them full of garbage and crap about donairs and expensive clothing. What a waste of a persons life that they need to make themselves feel better by polluting other people's threads with a bunch of crap, especially when it is an Escort Review Board that he does this. What kind of a life can this guy have that he feels the need to be a post whore on everyone's thread?

Much better to go out and smell the roses, enjoy the sunshine and get on with life. Go help some other people that really have problems in life, homeless, destitute, the elderly. After all, life is what you make it, and you really do feel better about your life when you have been out helping some people that really need it.

Ok, my rant is done for now.

 

[Markl]

I'd probably go out for you with a beer sperminator.

If for nothing else than to get a measure of you. I don't think you are the asshole you really project on here.

Pretty sure you aren't.

 

[deslicher]

Your Cherry diet is your middle-age crisis! It's so obvious! All this time I thought you were in your 20s or early to mid-30s but you're in your mid-40s! This explains everything!!





Three things:

1.) I never drink (because I would be far too much fun when I'm drunk than when I'm sober--and I'm a WHOLE lot of fun as I am right now);

2.) I'm definitely not an asshole (and if I am, I'm the best-dressed asshole you'll ever meet);

3.) everyone from the Edmonton PERB forum can come meet me personally on Canada Day--I'll be at the Alberta Legislature grounds for the fireworks--I'm sure no one will have problems recognizing me . . . .

4.) BTW, I'm the most narcissistic person you will ever meet (or not) meet.



Of course I added # 4.....just because.

 

[shockr]

1) Parents are dead and have been since you were in your 20's?
2) Actually saw their parents kill themselves slowly by their lifestyle choices.
3) As a 5-7 yr old you had to actually take care of one of your parents because they wanted to die.
4) As an adult, you've never been married, have no children and have difficulty making close friends?

Doesn't describe me other than that I'm in my early 30s now. I've been married before. When I hit the singles scene again I had some women inviting themselves into bed with me. I actually didn't sleep with any of these women. I like the hard to get type regardless how good you look. The game is what makes me tick.

I don't have many friends, but the friends that I do have, are very close to me. Many people like to spend time with me, but I'm a loner type so I prefer being at home cooking a nice dinner or watching a movie.

This hobby for me is for fun and variety. I get bored really quickly with women even if sex is great. I've had a couple nice gf's that offered great DT and PSE for me at home, but unfortunately I need variety.

 

[Markl]

Actually an infatuation would be middle age crisis. This is not that.
I've never met someone I've cared more about than myself, before I met her.

I used to dress very well when I was working in Montreal. I still do on occasion when I am going out somewhere. It was a bit of culture shock coming here to Edmonton and seeing everyone look sorta slovenly.

Since I work in oil/gas though, I generally dress in jeans/t-shirt at work.

Old job was dress clothes, and I have a number of ties, my favorite being my blue Fendi tie.

 

[Surrey's Jewel]

Adding my 2 cents ...

To the OP: I'm hoping this doesn't sound like I'm trying to minimize how you are feeling because I truly am not ! First of all I come from a similar background, actually possibly worse and have definately struggled with that at times so I can relate to where you are coming from. Did you know that you can make your life exactly as you want it to be just by changing your thoughts and feelings ? Refuse to allow negative and self doubting thoughts into your head. They will try to creep in but visualize yourself pushing them out and replace them with positive thoughts and images - I'M NOT KIDDING - IT WORKS !!! You were concerned about your physical appearance as well ... don't be !!! When you fill your mind, soul and heart with only thoughts of beauty .. it will radiate from within and people will pick up on it. Superficial people may not but deep thinking and truly caring people, probably the only type of people you will want to attract anyways will pick up on it and become attracted to you. Please give this a try.

 

[Markl]

I am fairly happy with my physical appearance. I run quite a lot and get some looks sometimes from good looking gals. No problem there.

I just have a hard time approaching women. I am confident in myself, I just have major inhibitions I guess. My father's side was british and I guess I got that from him.