advice needed on delicate financial matters

[bigguyspayattn]

Hi I posted this originally in the Calgary forum and was asked to post here to get more response:


"I'd appreciate some advice: I'm married like I'm sure a lot of you guys are, and my wife is noticing that I take a good wad of cash out of my bank acct every month and I'm having trouble explaining where it's all going. Of course, you guys know where it's going...
So, any tips on how to hide this hobby of mine better, from the financial end?
(It's like they say, follow the money and...)"

Thanks for any help.

 

[Jodie]

Assuming you are the primary bread winner in the household, you should have no trouble justifying a weekly or monthly allowance for yourself. Make an agreement with your wife that while most of your income and expenses are shared/transparent, each of you is entitled to an allowance, for which you do not have to account to the other person.

Explain that there are times that you'd like to spend your money on things that she might not like (i.e. going out for drinks with your co-workers, eating out at lunch, buying electronics), just as she probably would like to have some money to spend that she doesn't have to justify to you (i.e. buying clothes, shoes, purses, going out with the girls). Because you work very hard for your money, you would like to feel free to have fun with *some* of it, while still maintaining your financial responsibility to your wife and/or family.

 

[CalgaryJenn]

I've asked many how they manage to do it. Here is what I've been told.

$20 here $20 there. Say if was for gas, lunch, parking etc.

Seems to be the most common way.

 

[hunsperger]

Assuming you are the primary bread winner in the household, you should have no trouble justifying a weekly or monthly allowance for yourself. Make an agreement with your wife that while most of your income and expenses are shared/transparent, each of you is entitled to an allowance, for which you do not have to account to the other person.

Explain that there are times that you'd like to spend your money on things that she might not like (i.e. going out for drinks with your co-workers, eating out at lunch, buying electronics), just as she probably would like to have some money to spend that she doesn't have to justify to you (i.e. buying clothes, shoes, purses, going out with the girls). Because you work very hard for your money, you would like to feel free to have fun with *some* of it, while still maintaining your financial responsibility to your wife and/or family.

Jodie, your advice is self-serving...

nothing personal..

btw you have a gorgeous bum...

this man is cheating on his wife and that is wrong...

i guarantee you, if you were married, it would upset you if your husband cheated on you...

if he has to go out of his marriage, to be satisfied, then he should not be married...

if he told his wife and she had no problem with it, then that is another story...

but to live a double life, is wrong, wrong, wrong...

your response disappoints me...

i always thought you were one of the more thoughtful people on this board...

please tell me it ain't so...

you as well calgary jenn...

 

[wannabeslut]

i guarantee you, if you were married, it would upset you if your husband cheated on you...

Who says she's not married? You think you're aware of her private life and marital status?

 

[henryhill]

this man is cheating on his wife and that is wrong...

if he has to go out of his marriage, to be satisfied, then he should not be married...

if he told his wife and she had no problem with it, then that is another story...

but to live a double life, is wrong, wrong, wrong...

Dude, you're preaching in the WRONG place. Go preach that shit back in your Church basement on Sunday. This is a pooning board.

 

[bothmog]

Not That Simple

Hey Spurger,
Life is not that simple. It is easy to say "just don't be married" What if you loved your wife, but she was unable or unwilling to satisfy you ? Throw in kids and a house. Do you walk away ? Do you get a girlfriend on the side? I think this is a better solution for many than walking away, or having a GF on the side. Sometimes some of us need a little lovin, and can't always get it where we would like. I dunno, maybe I am wrong, but I think this is fairly common.

 

[hunsperger]

Who says she's not married? You think you're aware of her private life and marital status?

to elaborate...

you're right I was wrong to assume Jodie was single...

if Jodie is married, she and her husband only have to answer to each other...

my point is that they should be honest with each other, if the other partner is cool with it, then it is nobody's business but their own...

but to live a double life is wrong...

how could somebody look at themselves in the mirror if they are not truthful to somebody they supposedly care for...

 

[ma1234]

I have experienced this first hand in my family.

My sister's husband was spending a fortune on getting drunk and going to bordellos, buying presents for prostitutes. He was an idiot, my sister found out and she was devastated. She became a bitter old woman in spite of her age and vowed that she will make his life as unpleasant as possible.

Now he only gets a few dollars to buy food when he travels she goes with him everywhere, even on business trips, and she revels in torturing him by not letting him be free for one minute.
I think she suffers as much as the guy by living like this, but somehow I can't feel sorry for the guy, although he is talking about suicide.

Well, if it felt good to get sucked by a 20 year old, he should face the consequences.

If you think what you need is an endless supply of 20 yr old pussies, don't get married, or chose a wife who does the same or at least doesn't mind.

 

[CalgaryJenn]

hunsperger my advice is hardly self serving. He said he was married and wanted advice on how to put money away. I would have told a single person the same thing.
Every person's relationship status is different. I'm married. my husband is fine with what I do. He makes money through the company he owns, so it's not like he is ok with it just because of the money. Just an example of how relationships vary.
To come on an escort review board and preach that its wrong of him because he is married is a pretty bold statement, and subject to some comments from other pooners and SP's that you might not want to hear. If you think about it, the general public looks at seeing or being escorts as wrong in itself. So in a sense, you being here on this board is wrong. At least in the eyes of the general public. Even if your single. It's all in the way you look at things, and your perspective on things.
As for the self serving part... Who say I will ever even meet this gent? Maybe I'm not his thing... There are lots of providers in Calgary. I just offered my advice and what other gents have told me.
If living a double life is wrong, every lady on the board, every geny on the board is wrong. I live every day with the name Jenn, when its not my real name. Just as I'm sure your name isn't hunsperger...
Maybe this kind of board isn't your thing. Morals tend to take a back seat in this lifestyle in a lot of cases.
I'm not saying this gent is right or wrong. Who am I to judge him?

 

[ma1234]

Has anyone thought about what kind of trouble this guy could get himself and his family by spending the money for the mortgage or the education for his children?

Don't you think what he needs is help to stop being irresponsible?

 

[CalgaryJenn]

get off of perb and join a church group board.

Think he would be welcomed with open arms if he told them God didn't exsist? LOL

 

[nube]

This is laughable, these dudes obviously do not know what its like to be married for 10 years or more.

They don't know what its like to be with someone who isn't interested in sex. And sex isn't the only reason to be married you know.

They don't know that pooning actually saves a marriage.

They don't Know that an affair is the other option and THAT is VERY risky.

They don't know that they don't know!!!!! And therefore should shut the Fu*k up and not judge.

They should remember that the MAJORITY of the public doesn't agree with pooning married or NOT - so in fact you are being real hypocritical!!!!!

And I just can't believe they would actually be 'dumb' enough to type that on here. (shaking head)

 

[nube]

what fukking planet did you arrive from?
this is a pooner / hooker board A-hole , dont get on here preaching self rightous bullshit.
if a hooker did not fuk cheating husbands they would all starve to death. and its been that way for 1000's of years.
do as the other poster says , get off of perb and join a church group board.

goodlube....church people poon too ya know

 

[henryhill]

Well said Nube.

Anybody else have any advice for our friend on how to hide his pooning funds?

 

[CalgaryJenn]

Well said Nube.

Anybody else have any advice for our friend on how to hide his pooning funds?

Change! I have a change rolling machine in my house. You would be amazed. Once a month I take my change to the bank. Usually about $400. If you throw your change away every day, that stuff adds up. Sounds cheap, but holy damn a person gets a lot of change in the run of a month.
Throw your change in a container, take it to the bank once a month and ya got your once a month pooning fund.

 

[visioneast]

Hello,

Just say you donate them to charity.

 

[ma1234]

They don't know that pooning actually saves a marriage.

It doesn't save a marriage. It destroys it and you know it.

I am not sure if a marriage where people deceive each-other is worth being saved?

 

[CalgaryJenn]

The poor guy just asked for opinions and ideas on how to save some cash. He didn't ask for a moral debate. Did the moral church police just invade PERB? Damn it, I knew Calgary Bylaw was lurking in here!
HIJACKED!!!!
Another PERB thread gone off course.

 

[ma1234]

OK, Jenn is right. I will be helpful.

You know the Carnegy Library on Broadway and Main?

You can stand there and make some pocket money for pooning