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Seeking out sex to deal with loss

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pervypervison

pervypervison

"here for a good time...not a long time"
Sep 18, 2013
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anyone else find themselves using sex as an escape while experiencing loss? i've been to more funerals than weddings so far this summer. it's shitty seeing friends/family grieving the loss of loved ones. aside from sadness, it's also put mortality more on the forefront of my mind. I figured life's so unpredictable, i just want to enjoy what i can day by day. but that's also resulted in me seeking out an SP almost everyday the past week. just curious if any others have dealt with grief this way....
 
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Pumped

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Same. Just had another friend die this week. Year younger than me too. Makes me think that I should enjoy what I can while I can.

Sorry for your loss.
 
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Bang4thebuck

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Sep 23, 2012
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Sex as an escape is no different than any other unhealthy coping mechanism that can lead to addiction. Some people drink, smoke, do drugs, gamble, goon, game all day... you feel good while youre doing it and then go back to feeling empty once it's over, and if you keep feeding that addiction your tolerance gets higher and higher making you crave more and more and you slowly lose your sense of self.

See a grief counsellor, and try to focus on enjoying a genuine connection with the good people left in your life and whatever gives you a sense of meaning and purpose in life.

I love pooning for the fun and thrill of it, but if im in a dark place, I avoid it altogether because I know im doing it for the wrong reasons.
 
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pervypervison

pervypervison

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Sep 18, 2013
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Bang4thebuck said:
Sex as an escape is no different than any other unhealthy coping mechanism that can lead to addiction. Some people drink, smoke, do drugs, gamble, goon, game all day... you feel good while youre doing it and then go back to feeling empty once it's over, and if you keep feeding that addiction your tolerance gets higher and higher making you crave more and more and you slowly lose your sense of self.

See a grief counsellor, and try to focus on enjoying a genuine connection with the good people left in your life and whatever gives you a sense of meaning and purpose in life.

I love pooning for the fun and thrill of it, but if im in a dark place, I avoid it altogether because I know im doing it for the wrong reasons.
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you're right. regular sessions are still enjoyable, but i've had over a dozen nuru sessions overseas, and then duos more lately to get those highs. sex is really my only vice. it's kinda interesting looking back at when i go on crazy escort binges. first time was when i got into the best shape of my life and cut down to under 10% bodyfat. I felt invincible and was pooning every other day. eventually took a 5+ year hiatus while in relationships and then after getting laid off with a generous severance, i think i was seeing SPs a bit too regularly. and then now, i don't know if it's just a habit for escape versus actually craving sex.

appreciate your insightful words.
 
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SkinnyJohn

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May 13, 2014
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I guess depending on what type of loss I know my desire for sex just plummeted and didn't care for it for months.
 
ChromeGasCap

ChromeGasCap

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Everyone is different.
For me, I would have to have to have reconciled the loss before I could truly appreciate everything the sex brings.
Affection can be key to reconciliation of a loss.
Sex is not affection.
 
Big_Guy_Rye

Big_Guy_Rye

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Depends who died....not sure how one thinks about the sex trade after a family or friend passes away, unless there is a 'deeper issue' involved.

Maybe if it was a wife or girlfriend passing away, and after a lengthy mourning, you decided to act on your own catharsis instead of seeking a new connection; so you decided to skip ahead into NSA, FWB, ONS territory and perhaps started paying for it, out of fear of actually falling in love again, believing you'd lose them too.... that seems 'normal'.

but to go from "my dad died of cancer and man, I want some of that AMP action!".... sounds like such a person is making excuses.
 
LADY-LYRAH

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pervypervison said:
anyone else find themselves using sex as an escape while experiencing loss? i've been to more funerals than weddings so far this summer. it's shitty seeing friends/family grieving the loss of loved ones. aside from sadness, it's also put mortality more on the forefront of my mind. I figured life's so unpredictable, i just want to enjoy what i can day by day. but that's also resulted in me seeking out an SP almost everyday the past week. just curious if any others have dealt with grief this way....
Click to expand...
Using sex as an escape from experiencing loss is actually quite common. We create a safe place, to help distract you from your loss, & talk about it if that's something you're comfortable with.
Ive had men who've had bad break ups, or divorces book me. Men who have lost their spouse, and genuinely missed being held book me. Guys who've lost their friends have booked me. I even had a regular break down and bawl like a baby in my arms because he lost his child, and Im guessing it was easier to fall apart with me than at home with his wife and family. We don't just provide physical intimacy.... we provide companionship, which is unique to each individual case. I agree with what Blake mentioned, that combining therapy and other forms of self care with physical touch can be quite healing.
 
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Bang4thebuck

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LADY-LYRAH said:
Using sex as an escape from experiencing loss is actually quite common. We create a safe place, to help distract you from your loss, & talk about it if that's something you're comfortable with.
Ive had men who've had bad break ups, or divorces book me. Men who have lost their spouse, and genuinely missed being held book me. Guys who've lost their friends have booked me. I even had a regular break down and bawl like a baby in my arms because he lost his child, and Im guessing it was easier to fall apart with me than at home with his wife and family. We don't just provide physical intimacy.... we provide companionship, which is unique to each individual case. I agree with what Blake mentioned, that combining therapy and other forms of self care with physical touch can be quite healing.
Click to expand...
I forget some people do see SW's for companionship and physical touch and that it's not always sexual. Male loneliness is an issue nobody really talks about.

That being said I feel so bad for the guys looking for that touch and companionship who end up getting deposit scammed or they TOFTT and get an absolute nutjob of a woman or get robbed. Thats the type of shit that would trigger a villain arc.
 
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lunaseraphim

lunaseraphim

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I think it's quite natural to seek human touch and companionship when dealing with something difficult like grief. 💔 A lot of people book me when they are going through something like this.
What I find sometimes unhealthy is that some people can develop a compulsive habit of trying to seek intense sensations instead of dealing with their own issues. It's good to question ourselves on why we do certain things.
 
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pervypervison

pervypervison

"here for a good time...not a long time"
Sep 18, 2013
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Big_Guy_Rye said:
but to go from "my dad died of cancer and man, I want some of that AMP action!".... sounds like such a person is making excuses.
Click to expand...
although i currently identify as a degenerate sex addict, i really hope i never reach this point. LOL

but in all seriousness, the thought of escaping into the company of another without any questions asked is an outlet I appreciate. one could argue that a girlfriend could do the same, but that comes along with other issues that could drive one into depression
 
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