We saw each other about six months ago and talked about love and lust. I said I believed in a kind of short-term love for you. You, rightly, felt it was better described as lust.
I’ve been thinking about that conversation and believe I can express it better now.
What we shared wasn’t real—we agree on that. I think it can best be described as a kind of art.
My favorite movies are Gladiator and The Lord of the Rings. When I watch Maximus die saving Rome from Joaquin Phoenix’s character, I am powerfully moved. When Samwise carries Frodo, I want to share his burden. I know Sam and Maximus are fictional. Yet I can exist in a duality: my temporary suspension of disbelief allows me to invest myself fully, as if they were real. I can be moved to tears or exaltation.
If I can feel so deeply with a screen, how much more deeply can I allow myself to feel in your arms?
The way you played with my body, seemed to use me for your pleasure, then exhorted and pushed me to the limits of my ability to experience ecstasy… sure, it is the deepest fulfillment of lust. But in my mind, at least, I wanted to protect, care for, please, and adore you. I can know it is theater—the most intimate kind of performance art.
Six months later, I feel it still.
I love Gladiator. I love The Lord of the Rings. I love Bella Rose.
Thank you again, my dear. Even if you don’t remember me, I will never forget you.
Note: I offer this in public, instead of private, as an endorsement of this young lady. I have had a lot of forgettable fucks, in my long life. This one stayed with me.
I’ve been thinking about that conversation and believe I can express it better now.
What we shared wasn’t real—we agree on that. I think it can best be described as a kind of art.
My favorite movies are Gladiator and The Lord of the Rings. When I watch Maximus die saving Rome from Joaquin Phoenix’s character, I am powerfully moved. When Samwise carries Frodo, I want to share his burden. I know Sam and Maximus are fictional. Yet I can exist in a duality: my temporary suspension of disbelief allows me to invest myself fully, as if they were real. I can be moved to tears or exaltation.
If I can feel so deeply with a screen, how much more deeply can I allow myself to feel in your arms?
The way you played with my body, seemed to use me for your pleasure, then exhorted and pushed me to the limits of my ability to experience ecstasy… sure, it is the deepest fulfillment of lust. But in my mind, at least, I wanted to protect, care for, please, and adore you. I can know it is theater—the most intimate kind of performance art.
Six months later, I feel it still.
I love Gladiator. I love The Lord of the Rings. I love Bella Rose.
Thank you again, my dear. Even if you don’t remember me, I will never forget you.
Note: I offer this in public, instead of private, as an endorsement of this young lady. I have had a lot of forgettable fucks, in my long life. This one stayed with me.
