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Dating SP's - the zero sum game and how do you reach a compromise?

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purpleelephant

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Mar 29, 2025
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For the ones dating or considering dating SPs, there is a realistic zero sum game at play so how do you reach a solution that benefits both?

From her perspective - any time she gives up is money lost. Guys as a test for commitment is to see if she would enter a traditional relationship with you - which translates to her giving up her work and seeing you for free and be limited on who she could see without you entering a sugar daddy relationship with her - that's way too much to give up on her end and it's just mainstream fantasy. Her time is worth more money and you want to accommodate that but within reasonable limits and not excessive.

On your/my end - What if you have comfortable amount of money to see lots of SP's a month your might save on everywhere else like rent luxury etc but you have money for where it matters and you and you couldn't be any happier - until you meet one that turns your world upside down and she's genuinely into you too not to scam you. But the realistic math is that if you enter any serious relationship with her whatsoever you would be spending money on her - which means giving up your lifestyle for her - and this usually goes unappreciated they expect you to spend on them without considering the fact that you are also giving up a comfortable lifestyle for her. You only have so much money so anything you do spend on her you want it to be understood/appreciated. The point is you are giving up seeing all of these other SPs for her and it is just as big of a deal.

SPs want men to be sugar daddies and men want SPs to be housewives - but what if she's not a straight up golddigger and you're not an old fashioned misogynist? You both want things to work

I couldn't find the older threads on dating SPs so that's why I'm making a new one - it anyone has links to these old threads please post them

So how do you find a happy middle ground that involves sacrifices and efforts on both ends and make things work for both of you? How did people handle these situations in the past? I don't want to seem cheap if she wants to go out and buy things but I also want her to understand how much I'm giving up for her - and communication is sexy - how do I communicate all of this to her without seeming like I'm keeping tabs but the realistic problem exists I'm understanding of her side and she should understand mine - without killing the vibe
 
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only_lurkn

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Jun 28, 2026
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purpleelephant said:
For the ones dating or considering dating SPs, there is a realistic zero sum game at play so how do you reach a solution that benefits both?

From her perspective - any time she gives up is money lost. Guys as a test for commitment is to see if she would enter a traditional relationship with you - which translates to her giving up her work and seeing you for free and be limited on who she could see without you entering a sugar daddy relationship with her - that's way too much to give up on her end and it's just mainstream fantasy. Her time is worth more money and you want to accommodate that but within reasonable limits and not excessive.

On your/my end - What if you have comfortable amount of money to see lots of SP's a month your might save on everywhere else like rent luxury etc but you have money for where it matters and you and you couldn't be any happier - until you meet one that turns your world upside down and she's genuinely into you too not to scam you. But the realistic math is that if you enter any serious relationship with her whatsoever you would be spending money on her - which means giving up your lifestyle for her - and this usually goes unappreciated they expect you to spend on them without considering the fact that you are also giving up a comfortable lifestyle for her. You only have so much money so anything you do spend on her you want it to be understood/appreciated. The point is you are giving up seeing all of these other SPs for her and it is just as big of a deal.

SPs want men to be sugar daddies and men want SPs to be housewives - but what if she's not a straight up golddigger and you're not an old fashioned misogynist? You both want things to work

I couldn't find the older threads on dating SPs so that's why I'm making a new one - it anyone has links to these old threads please post them

So how do you find a happy middle ground that involves sacrifices and efforts on both ends and make things work for both of you? How did people handle these situations in the past? I don't want to seem cheap if she wants to go out and buy things but I also want her to understand how much I'm giving up for her - and communication is sexy - how do I communicate all of this to her without seeming like I'm keeping tabs but the realistic problem exists I'm understanding of her side and she should understand mine - without killing the vibe
Click to expand...
The fact you are over thinking it shows that it isnt for you
If you cant give up your ego to allow a woman to decide and choose for her own, then youve already loss the point
You already sound anxiously attached , a secure person understands they are there to support her with w.e she wants whether she is a companion or not.
 
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Porkrxporkr

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Nov 30, 2024
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Being able to leave immediately after sex is the best part. Stop ruining it. It’s a simple three step program.

a) pay the woman and be respectful
b) have sex
c) leave
 
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Bang4thebuck

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Sep 23, 2012
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Do you know how many guys try to date SP's? Tons of socially awkward guys who women otherwise don't talk to, and white knights who want to try and "save" them and have some fantasy in their head of giving them a "better life". It's a total delusion.

It's also a myth that SW's are not capable of other work and need to rely on a man. I've met many who are very well educated and have their own careers outside of SW.
 
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masterpoonhunter

masterpoonhunter

"Marriage should be a renewable contract"
Sep 15, 2019
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How many times has this topic been rattled around in here ...
My god, don't date them, make an appointment, pay them, have great sex, and leave.
Very simple well established formula that has been working for time immemorial.
 
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Pumped

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Dec 13, 2022
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Bang4thebuck said:
It's also a myth that SW's are not capable of other work and need to rely on a man. I've met many who are very well educated and have their own careers outside of SW.
Click to expand...
That is one of the biggest changes that I have encountered in this business over the past 20+ years. I am amazed by the number of SPs who have day jobs -- not just stripper or waitress -- but high tech, or administrative or others that require education and experience in that field and they do this mainly business for the extra money they can bank. Some do talk about the sex, but mostly its about the money.

And what's not recognized in these constant threads about 'dating' SPs is that it will, eventually, be just like any and every other relationship on the planet. There will be good times, bad times, there will be challenges and disappointments, and in the end, she has the option to go back to this job and the guy won't be able to afford a handy from some chub in the back of a white van.

Relationships don't have happy endings (of either type) without a lot of work, and sacrifice, and understanding of your own self and the person you are trying to build a life with.

Everything else is, indeed, delusional.
 
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annievilleneuve26

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Jun 25, 2021
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Man Everytime this topic pops up I can't tell if it's genuine or some sort of weird roleplay/basement poetry...

Lots of those girls have husbands/boyfriend/relationship... Nothing new under the sun.

If you want to date a SP but don't want her to work why would you date her?? I guess they would try to avoid like plague guys that have that mindset...

" I don't want to give up my lifestyle for her "... Bro according to a recent survey on perb half of perbite are married/in a relationship... Ain't no fucking way dating (sp or not) can block you from pooning...

This whole statement sounds like a brain fart to me...

Hope that helps
Cheers
 
jgg

jgg

In the air again.
Apr 14, 2015
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Varies now
"Close the thread", "Done to death", "Nobody is interested".

Yet here we all are reading it and participating.

Mods, leave it open; obviously, some find it interesting.
 
Once you go black

Once you go black

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Nov 28, 2019
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I know it’s a fantasy ,

almost like dating in the beginning is ( the first 3 months ) .
Notice how 90% of people break up between 2-3 month in ? They think they want the real thing but actually they prefer the honeymoon stage .

I’m not delusional, it’s a fantasy and that’s why I enjoy it , but I enjoy it for what it is .

I’ve been fortunate enough to have dated the 4 women w whom I had the best sex of my life with , and I can tell you first hand that if you both hang in there long enough ,
Eventually , you’ve seen each others moves hundreds of times , you’ve seen each other at your worst , you’ve been around each other enough that the initial thrill of the new is long gone , you’ve been in the same house when you know they are doing number two , you’ve seen them take out the garbage , annoyed each other etc etc , ( insert more Non romantic stuff here )

Relationships get , well, … real !
Their parents get sick , they lose their job , they get injured and need your help for a few months , etc etc ,

And eventually that dopamine hit you used to feel starts to wear off .

Great sex and infatuation around pillow talk although nice ,
are not enough reasons on their own to enter into a relationship w someone .

You also have to spend enough time w someone until their trauma shows and you can see all their character defects , cause everyone hides them for 3 - 6 months .

There will be many ups and downs and likely at least once you will consider whether or not to walk out the door , as will she ( though you will never know how many times ).
There will certainly need to be more than great sex to keep you hanging on till times get good again .

Dont try and lock down the hottest women you possibly can / hottest sex you’ve ever had , w those being the main two reasons , and the fact that you seem to hit it off during the short periods of time you’ve been together .

Thats a fools game !
 
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Tsubame

Tsubame

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I don't think I could have a romantic relationship with an SP. Maybe some sort of platonic life partner situation.

Like most married couples.
 
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VinVan

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Okay PurpleElelephant, I gotta ask this cuz I’m just curious: have you actually been on a social date with this SP? Or are you just under the impression she wants to date you? Because there is about a one-mile gap between the former and the latter.

I’ve dated a few SPs and been out socially with a few others. Just out of curiosity while out socially with one said SP, I asked how many clients do you actually see socially (out of hundreds, I’m sure) as we are doing? Close to zero. And I can tell you the number of dudes who ask them out and think they have a chance is like around 20%. And so I asked her what she says when they ask her out?

I say, “maybe.”

“Even though they have no chance?”

“Yes.”

“How come?”

Shoulder shrug. “They’re nice guys. I don’t know what else to say.”

I also suspect part of it was to keep the flicker of hope alive. A lot of guys have this fantasy; so they’ll keep paying the admission to keep it alive.

PurpleElephant, you’ve been pondering this question for more than a month now, in several different threads, in highly esoteric language. So I’m curious, is it all theoretical, or is it real?
 
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