asking out a girl!

[Tar_Man]

Just ask the girl out already!

 

[HB40]

my apologies up front for what i'm about to say, but you're saying you have a better understanding of the female psyche?

1) you say you get nervous around pretty girls. and seeing sp's has helped? because every girl on the street will respond the same way sp's do?

2) the sweet harmless guy can get them to respond the same way the cocky bad boy does?

not to bore you, but right there you just played into every false bit of advice most women give on how to get a girl. the reason i say it's false is because what they say they want and what they actually go for are two different things.

look, i'm a selfish bastard most of the time and if i was a girl i'd pick some nice guy over me because in the long run he might cater to her every whim, i won't. and he'll be easier to manipulate. but dammit if i don't beat that guy to her everytime because despite the cockyness and arrogance i'm abit more interesting and at the end of the day sweaty palms, nervousness, or shyness doesn't get them going. maybe in the made for tv movies it does or for a small % of the women it does but not generally. the first 15 minutes can either get her into you, or you can spend the next 15 months trying to "win" her over. not to negate what any sp on this board will tell you, but most of them will write something that in some way shape or form will still get the average guy to cater to women.

bottom line is most women do want a man, not a needy boy.

No, I am not saying I have any better understanding, but I can relate and understand to what MMM is dealing with.

1) Seeing SP's has not given me any techniques for asking girls out, "how much" seldom works, but it has given me confidence to not be so nervous around beautiful women.

2) In my experience yes, that is my charm and I'm open and honest about it which quite often is very helpful in initiating their flirtyness.

Why is their advice false? Every woman is different and there is no telling what they want if the mood strikes them.

Being shy and nervous doesn't make me any less interesting than another guy.
I would hazard to say the introverts are usually more enigmatic than the shallow pretty boys who are just going to hog the mirror.

I am a man, but my approach is to appeal to a womans nurturing side, it has been my experience that most women love taking care of a man....
especially one who is sensitive to taking care of them.

 

[bcneil]

Well obviously the best thing for the OP to do now. Is.....write her a love letter. Poor out all your feelings on paper. Then next time you are at her office, through it at her then RUN.

Just curious, what kind of work are you into?
If one of my employees was playing around like this, in one of the work vehicles I would fire your ass.

Hopefully all this nonsense, of purposely giving your client funding methods you know won't work, won't get her in any trouble with her boss. Right now her boss might be telling her "Jesus, can't you even take a payment! This will be the third time he had to come back!"

 

[oldguy49]

My 2 cents

Way back when I used to ask girls out..........its a long time ago, it was easy. Just use your nicest, politest voice and say would you like to go out with me? She says no, Thats all there is to it. Done. Easy.

 

[itooam1]

MagicMysteryMan

So i was reading you did give her flowers, how did she take them?I mean what was her reaction, to you giving them to her.

Man i have to say you guys/gals suck on the advice .........from what ive read,you all sound like you havent had a date in years or ever.
You all sound extremely creepy and jaded(kinda sick)....its only a date,its not a life commitment...take it for what it is.
There are way worse things in life to have to deal with....MagicMysteryMan, i would personally think of things that matter in life and put this asking out on a date in perspective....on the life scale of scary shit asking/talking to a stranger should be nothing...as you dont know them, what you got to loose?
Nothing but a chance at a date...big deal.
I also read your getting a bit weak kneed and tongue tied, (over thinking this shit)just take bull by the horns .
Time for talking and thinking is over...its DO time.....so go after it.
Walk through door, to girl ask girl out, done.
That simple..........

 

[kalel]

.

No, I am not saying I have any better understanding, but I can relate and understand to what MMM is dealing with.

1) Seeing SP's has not given me any techniques for asking girls out, "how much" seldom works, but it has given me confidence to not be so nervous around beautiful women.

2) In my experience yes, that is my charm and I'm open and honest about it which quite often is very helpful in initiating their flirtyness.

Why is their advice false? Every woman is different and there is no telling what they want if the mood strikes them.

Being shy and nervous doesn't make me any less interesting than another guy.
I would hazard to say the introverts are usually more enigmatic than the shallow pretty boys who are just going to hog the mirror.

I am a man, but my approach is to appeal to a womans nurturing side, it has been my experience that most women love taking care of a man....
especially one who is sensitive to taking care of them.

no, being shy and needy makes you less interesting. and the reason i say their advice is likely to be false is because they have a vested interest in the men behaving a certain way. that and as i pointed out before that what women say they want and what they go for aren't always the same thing.

now let me backtrack and eat some of my words

you and i have different needs and different approaches right now. you're going after quality in limited quantity, i'm simply going after quantity, as hot as possible right here right now kinda deal. i don't see any woman right now who can be a permanent partner because of work, my son, and what personal habits. in my mind i need to create attraction quickly not really concerned about the long haul because that's something you decide on later in a relationship not upfront. so as shallow as that sounds, i usually get what i want. and at the end of the day the person i give the most to is my son. no woman can compete with that.

and don't put down the mirror hogging shallow guys. becuase you think you have a nurturing side that has appealed to some women, don't think you're a better person than them. i've learned that the ones that put alot of effort into their bodies and looks also put alot of effort into everything else too, just as some people are lazy at everything and settle for average.

 

[chris2008]

wow. What a trainwreck of a thread.

The first thing you did wrong was asking advice on a forum where the men pay for sex.....

hilarious.

 

[Validator]

Hahha. SOOOO true.

 

[LightBearer]

And none of the ladies dare give up any secrets of how they like men to approach them.

 

[myselftheother]

And none of the ladies dare give up any secrets of how they like men to approach them.

There is no secret way to ask women out especially if you're a member of the Illuminati.

 

[LightBearer]

There is no secret way to ask women out especially if you're a member of the Illuminati.

Alright then so why dont any of the women give atleast one example? It should be an interesting topic for a woman to respond to.

 

[apple juice]

Alright then so why dont any of the women give atleast one example?

I would say approach me with caution, I bite...lol.

 

[chris2008]

Cause it's f*cking retarded.....we're not in grade 7 anymore. Or at least not physically...lol.

Alright then so why dont any of the women give atleast one example? It should be an interesting topic for a woman to respond to.

 

[Thatotherguy]

Alright then so why dont any of the women give atleast one example? It should be an interesting topic for a woman to respond to.

Because it's a GLOBAL CONSPIRACY! The NEW WORLD ORDER knows that you're on to them! They won't let any ladies give advice for asking out a girl where you might hear it because they don't want you to get laid for free! They know that if you have to spend your money on SPs, then you won't be able to properly finance your ongoing crusade against them!

 

[magicmystery]

MM (two M's, not three).

Anyway this is not the issue- im still waiting to see if MM is gonna ask her out. I really don't think its a matter of whether he gets the girl or not now, but an internal struggle between will he or will he not ask. If he does, he grows. If he does not, he's stagnant. (At least at this stage of the game)

Although, I was obsessing about her, later (after first attempt) it was really more of an internal-struggle. The reason I gave her flowers was not because I thought it was a cool thing to do (I didn't really think it'd have any effect either way) but I did it to sort of punish myself for messing up earlier. I raised the stakes for myself. In my mind, I was like,' you couldn't speak two sentences? What kind of shithead are you? Now go there, give her flowers AND ask her out'. Needless to say I messed up in my second attempt too. I gave her flowers and immediately I changed the topic (void cheque) by the time she finished saying 'thank you'. And left quickly. So, as much as it was about her, it was also about me (whether not I bring myself to do it and grow up).

I did talk to her earlier today and she said she had a boyfriend and she didn't think it was a great idea to hangout. I think I just didn't deliver the content very well. As in, it was more about how I said and less about what I said. I am disappointed (not upset) that she refused. But I am happy that I (finally) asked. Although I had invested some emotions into this, fortunately or unfortunately, I didn't get time or chance to invest any more of them and so it's quite easy to move on and I have.

Nice/shy vs cocky/arrogant advice: I think cocky/arrogant is way more fun than nice/shy. For most real-life situations, where you see a girl and you want to ask her out on an impulse, cocky/arrogant will work way better than shy/nice. I think nice/shy will work in situations where you get to spend a lot of time with the girl (office, class, etc.). But even in those situations, there is always a chance that a cocky/arrogant guy will get her on a weekend while you are planning what you'd say to her the following Monday. Both approaches work, but in different situations.

I also think that after a point (let's say you got the girl and you want to make the relationship more serious/official): you'll have to drop cocky/arrogance and become more of a nice-sensitive kind of guy. Other things being equal, for openings, cocky/arrogant technique can be more successful. For sustaining a relationship - nice/sensitive would win by a big margin, I think.

Actions to take:
I've a Master's degree in Engineering, I have a decent job (above average pay, for my age and experience level) but I (really) lack social skills. That includes, public speaking, talking to girls, making small-talks even with guys. I am going to keep myself busy with yoga/judo and possibly acting/toastmasters for a while now. It won't hurt to get a six-pack/chiseled body but I am not obsessing over it. Yoga/Judo are fine and I am quite skinny to begin with. I am a tech-junkie (geek/nerd) and I don't even follow sports. So, I am going to make it a point to read/catch-up on sports section of the newspaper every few days, and also read some of Hollywood gossip (google news) so I can understand (and perhaps contribute to) small talk that takes place everywhere.

Admittedly, none of this will help me with this particular girl (unless I close my bank account and she calls me for another cheque! lol) Nonetheless, consciously working on skills I lack is a worthwhile goal to begin with.

I also need to make more money so I can poon and splurge more!

 

[kisskiss]

i dont agree

i dont agree. single guys get ass more than married guys in my view. single guys are more often get down with one night stands and flings more often. talking to my sp friends they say 75% of clients are eithe rin a relationship or married

Because it's a GLOBAL CONSPIRACY! The NEW WORLD ORDER knows that you're on to them! They won't let any ladies give advice for asking out a girl where you might hear it because they don't want you to get laid for free! They know that if you have to spend your money on SPs, then you won't be able to properly finance your ongoing crusade against them!

 

[magicmystery]

Atta Boy! Keep swinging the bat and you will get a hit Take some pride in the fact that you gave it a shot and don't stop trying

Thanks. It looks like demands for turning-in my penis have also subsided now.

 

[Violet]

no, being shy and needy makes you less interesting. and the reason i say their advice is likely to be false is because they have a vested interest in the men behaving a certain way. that and as i pointed out before that what women say they want and what they go for aren't always the same thing.

now let me backtrack and eat some of my words

"their advice is likely to be false"?! Maybe you should've eaten those words
My advice was genuine. And I never said he should act shy & needy. I said he should talk to her & smile etc. I also never said I prefer "shy needy guys", I do often prefer confident (but not cocky/arrogant -there's a difference), talkative, funny guys, but that doesn't mean that men shouldn't behave respectfully, or that they shouldn't treat the target of their interest like she is special, or that nervousness is always a huge turn-off, or that magicmystery had no chance, or that the fact that he didn't ask this girl out immediately decreased his chances. It's all well & good for people to tell him to just magically not be nervous, but that is a lot easier said than done. Does that mean that until he completely gets over his shyness & nervousness he shouldn't ask any women out?

I do not have a "vested interest" in (as you said in a previous post) men being submissive doormats & catering to a woman's every whim, in fact if that's what women wanted shy needy insecure guys would have all the babes.

Alright then so why dont any of the women give atleast one example? It should be an interesting topic for a woman to respond to.

Example of what? If you mean how we would like to be approached, did you bother to read my post?

They won't let any ladies give advice for asking out a girl where you might hear it because they don't want you to get laid for free![/I] They know that if you have to spend your money on SPs, then you won't be able to properly finance your ongoing crusade against them!

That makes no sense!! And we are not talking about giving advice on how to get laid, we are giving advice on how to ask a woman out on a date, those are 2 different things. Plus, even if we were talking about that, do you really think we are so afraid that giving out some advice in a thread on an online forum is going to eliminate the sex trade?!
(Plus, as kisskiss said, most clients are in relationships or married, so wouldn't it actually be in out best interests to give advice that was so good that the woman would want to marry him?)

Oh yeah, everything women say is a big conspiracy to deceive men for our own gain! *rubs hands together gleefully*

 

[Banger77]

Hey MM, at least you finally got an answer from dream-girl; no more wondering what could have happened.

 

[LightBearer]

Because it's a GLOBAL CONSPIRACY! The NEW WORLD ORDER knows that you're on to them! They won't let any ladies give advice for asking out a girl where you might hear it because they don't want you to get laid for free! They know that if you have to spend your money on SPs, then you won't be able to properly finance your ongoing crusade against them!

Your so lame dude. Too immature to be an adult thats for sure.