Well, superficially, a smile, eye contact, and a warm welcome. I realize these engagements are all transactional, but I’ve never had a negative session when the initial moments have been friendly; and had plenty bad when the provider has been distracted, on the phone, or processing me like an order at Macdonald’s. So in my lizard brain, friendly = at the very least a positive session.
At a deeper level, my biggest turn on is when I’m able to establish a level of trust with my dance partner. Again, we’re paying for it, but every now and again you meet someone with whom both parties feel safe enough to share their passions and that’s when all kinds of portals open, often leading to desires that neither party was fully aware of.
I remember fondly one woman some years ago who asked me to slap her ass while we were in doggy. I did so gently, and she said, “Harder.” That led to a years-long voyage of discovery into BDSM desires I was not even aware resided in me at the first moment of impact, but she had a sense of. Or another who had never done Greek, but trusted me enough to take her on that journey.
In the room, we are naked and at our most vulnerable - if we’re able to trust one another that’s the greatest aphrodisiac for me.