What to do when they "fall in love"...

[PlayfulAlex]

Help!!! I'm afraid it's happening; a wonderful, kind, sweet, thoughtful, older, widowed gentleman is giving me all the signs. Yes, it's easy to say, just break it to him, cut him off, let him go. We ladies walk this fine line of treating our callers like Gold, because they deserve it. But they're not to supposed to fall in love...

 

[chilli]

Have you ever thought of having a "conversation" with him?

Why do women constantly say they want their men to be "honest" yet they haven't got the kahona's to be straight with people?

 

[Elle Diablo]

Well ... they kinda are supposed to "fall in love" if that is what's being offered. It feels good to love someone probably more so than being loved, but I think in your situation be oblivious to his overtures (whatever those may be) and just continue on as if all were the same as it ever was. A person should not have to think they are responsible for another's 'feelings' especially if the boundaries have already been laid.

Allow him to be responsible for his own feelings and if you enjoy his company just continue enjoying.

 

[Ms Erica Phoenix]

Have you ever thought of having a "conversation" with him?

Why do women constantly say they want their men to be "honest" yet they haven't got the cojones (FTFY) to be straight with people?

Correct me if I am wrong Ms Alex, but presumably you came here looking for suggestions about just exactly HOW to have that straight conversation in the least hurtful way possible, not for suggestions on how to dump him and break his heart. Yes it is a fine line: treating a man like he's your one and only when you both know he isn't. Some gentlemen cross that line all by themselves with no assistance from a lady; decides he deserves more time than he's paid for, or more services than 'other clients' get (and we ALL know what's the first thing he'll start to push for) or a lower rate (also known as "his rate") Be kind, and be kind to yourself.

 

[cherise]

i usually ask their advice concerning a problem with another client. proceed by explaining the gentleman in question is developing feelings for me ,but he doesnt know thje REAL me, only the goddess im paid to be. and go on to explain that the fellow would probably not think he was in love if he saw me in my ratty bathrobe ,dishes piled up in the sink, litterbox overflowing,screaming at the kids etc. seems to work for the most part

 

[uncleg]

....when they fall in love let them accidently meet your "husband."

 

[sdw]

Help!!! I'm afraid it's happening; a wonderful, kind, sweet, thoughtful, older, widowed gentleman is giving me all the signs. Yes, it's easy to say, just break it to him, cut him off, let him go. We ladies walk this fine line of treating our callers like Gold, because they deserve it. But they're not to supposed to fall in love...

lol, Break the next appointment because your kid is sick, in jail, whatever and your husband is a total idiot dealing with that kind of stuff. He'll back off. You may not see him again, but that's the risk no matter how you deal with it. I know that a similar story worked

 

[cherise]

I dont mean any offense Alex, but I believe that professionals such as yourself, have the benefit (no doubt well earned via much personal pain) of an impenetrable heart. So, put it to good use and put that bastard out of his misery, similar to putting down a rabid dog. Do it early because as a professional, surely you are bound by ethics and cannot condone needless suffering on his stupid, moronic, sappy falling in love with people he pays for pleasure ass. Happy trails.

i dont know where you would get the idea that we have impenetrable hearts!!! i would think it would be difficult to treat the men the way we do if that were true.

i mean seriously , we ARE people ffs

 

[PuntMeister]

Have you ever thought of having a "conversation" with him?

Why do women constantly say they want their men to be "honest" yet they haven't got the kahona's to be straight with people?

Holy Crap! Totally agree with Chilli on this one. Well stated Chilli. Woman-up and have the "limits and expectations" conversation.

 

[UhOh]

Sound like a good time to up his rate, he'll get the hint.

 

[Ms Erica Phoenix]

....when they fall in love let them accidently meet your "husband."

:clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

Noted!

 

[toadsub]

What if you already met the husband?

 

[PlayfulAlex]

Have you ever thought of having a "conversation" with him?

Why do women constantly say they want their men to be "honest" yet they haven't got the kahona's to be straight with people?

Of course I thought about it. That's why I brought my anguish here. I can't create a poll, and I wanted some feedback from the community. I have no problem with 'honesty' and he's not my man. I have the kahona's to take whatever I deem is the right course of action...

Well ... they kinda are supposed to "fall in love" if that is what's being offered. It feels good to love someone probably more so than being loved, but I think in your situation be oblivious to his overtures (whatever those may be) and just continue on as if all were the same as it ever was. A person should not have to think they are responsible for another's 'feelings' especially if the boundaries have already been laid.

Allow him to be responsible for his own feelings and if you enjoy his company just continue enjoying.

Thank you for your input, Miss Diablo.

Correct me if I am wrong Ms Alex, but presumably you came here looking for suggestions about just exactly HOW to have that straight conversation in the least hurtful way possible, not for suggestions on how to dump him and break his heart. Yes it is a fine line: treating a man like he's your one and only when you both know he isn't. Some gentlemen cross that line all by themselves with no assistance from a lady; decides he deserves more time than he's paid for, or more services than 'other clients' get (and we ALL know what's the first thing he'll start to push for) or a lower rate (also known as "his rate") Be kind, and be kind to yourself.

He definitely will never ask for more. He is an exceptional human being, we've had a number of visits and a few overnights; he's a total gentleman. I really just don't want to hurt him, although I feel that it's inevitable, either way...

This line of work would be much easier if condoms protected against feelings as well as STIs.

Sigh...

i usually ask their advice concerning a problem with another client. proceed by explaining the gentleman in question is developing feelings for me ,but he doesn't know thje REAL me, only the goddess im paid to be. and go on to explain that the fellow would probably not think he was in love if he saw me in my ratty bathrobe ,dishes piled up in the sink, litterbox overflowing,screaming at the kids etc. seems to work for the most part

Well, as I've said, we've done overnights, so he's seen me, first thing in the morning!

....when they fall in love let them accidently meet your "husband."

That's an idea, but it might be odd to suddenly spring that on him!

lol, Break the next appointment because your kid is sick, in jail, whatever and your husband is a total idiot dealing with that kind of stuff. He'll back off. You may not see him again, but that's the risk no matter how you deal with it. I know that a similar story worked

Another possibility...

I dont mean any offense Alex, but I believe that professionals such as yourself, have the benefit (no doubt well earned via much personal pain) of an impenetrable heart. So, put it to good use and put that bastard out of his misery, similar to putting down a rabid dog. Do it early because as a professional, surely you are bound by ethics and cannot condone needless suffering on his stupid, moronic, sappy falling in love with people he pays for pleasure ass. Happy trails.

If this was the first time, I might just think, "It's for the best" but I'm a compassionate person and I wish that the whole thing could have been avoided. I've seen that sad look in the eyes before. But that's me being naive.

since I am still here! This does happen, I hear what you are saying as it has happened more than once. To regular single clients, it is hard and does hurt to break hearts.
I have spoken politely with these 2 clients from the past and had a heart to heart conversation and then basically stopped seeing them, cut off all contact. You feel bad but it gets better.

I would definitely feel bad, but I already feel bad that he's crossed that line and I do hate to break his heart. Thank you, though...

Sound like a good time to up his rate, he'll get the hint.

Money does not seem to be an object. The donation for overnight has not deterred him.

Thanks everyone for your input. Thank you, also, to the thoughtful gentlemen who wrote me lengthy e-mails in response to this thread. You were on opposite ends of the spectrum with your advice, btw.

 

[uncleg]

What if you already met the husband?

..........suggest a threesome with the "husband."...............

 

[uncleg]

That's an idea, but it might be odd to suddenly spring that on him!

Why would it be odd ? How many of the ladies tell their clients about boyfriends, let alone husbands ? Besides, it could be an accidental thing, like you got the time for the date wrong and "hubby" didn't get out of the house before the client arrived.

 

[Ms Erica Phoenix]

What if you already met the husband?

Find out how he feels about giving/getting the odd blowjob now and then, maybe?:eyebrows:

 

[badbadboy]

Alex, if you too are having the same feelings I am happy for you.

 

[yazoo]

I don't know how things feel on your side of the fence, but once I develop feelings, I no longer want to do p4p. I don't know how you can continue... ...I think it's ok to exploit someone's hornyness, but if he's fallen for you - that's crossing a line.

 

[Cock Throppled]

Might zI suggest being real? Try not shaving anything for his next visit, have a garlic-laden meal and don't brush your teeth, fart in bed and leave the door open while you're dropping the kids off at the pool.

He'll quickly realize you aren't a fantasy lover, but a real woman with the same realities he's paid to avoid.

 

[hornygandalf]

I think, first off, his falling in love with you is a testament to how well you have been able to create the illusion and the level of your skill. So, kudos.
But, you are a compassionate lady who now wants to find the best way out with the least hurt. So, I put myself in that gentleman's shoes, and I think that the advice is that which Cherise gave is probably the gentlest way to go. Indirect, but given some time to think on it, he might get the message. Or he might not (I've been oblivious to indirect hints like that).

It is a question of how you have that talk with him, and there isn't any one right way, as we are all individuals and cookie cutter approaches frequently don't work. But, you know that as you are able to read each of your gentlemen and adjust to their personality, quirks and preferences. Having read your comments on this board, I have no doubt you will find the right way to handle it gently and with compassion. Hurt and anguish is highly likely, but better soon rather than later. Is it possible for him to continue to see you without it also continuing to add fuel to his affections and feelings? I don't know that it is, though you do say he is a truly exceptional individual.

Do you know of any other ladies you can introduce him to? Maybe helping him find someone else to fall in love with would be the most compassionate thing (though not necessarily the easiest). From what you have said, this sounds like what he needs. He is widowed, and he needs someone else to fill that void, to be the object of his love. If you can't be that person, then helping him (or coaching him) on finding that lady might be what he needs. All the best on crafting the most compassionate approach.