Is it wrong to seek a SP to be your "friends for benefits" ?

[vancity_cowboy]

Obviously not true. There are various ways alpha male characteristics can manifest themselves, but deep and unshakable confidence, independence, leadership, belief in one's abilities to handle any situation, and so on are common factors. In relation to the opposite sex, alpha males in general will hold a belief that they are desirable to women, rather than just the other way around. None of this says that you have to be an asshole or arrogant. Of course, some alpha males are assholes, but hardly all of them or even the majority.

what he said

a lot of alpha male wannabees are assholes, but to be a true leader (alpha male = leader), you can't be an asshole... nobody will follow

 

[Miss*Bijou]

Think of it this way: As SP's, we already have the benefits part!...

So for it to be remotely tempting, the benefits offered in the "new" arrangement, would have to outweigh what she's getting now. That is the logical and realistic way of looking at it...


Sure, I don't doubt there are girls out there who don't see this, but I would advise against seeking it. Pushing for it is definitely not the way to approach it IMO and could make it uncomfortable for her and for you. Chances are that if she wanted that kind of arrangement, she would let you know.

I am not saying it's impossible....just not very likely. So not something to look for or try to get; if it happens, it happens....but you shouldn't visit SP's counting on it, that makes no sense.


Just my 2 cents...

 

[Synshine]

Bingo!



I have had the best orgasms of my life with my clients--- wonderful men who respect me enough to pay, because they understand that women will always want more than 'friends with benefits'. Sometimes we can be stupid or drunk, and give it away for free, but for the most part, the sps I know never have casual sex. If they are going to have sex with someone outside of work, it will be because they are actually working on having a relationship with them.

Trying to get casual sex with a sex worker is about LEAST likely place you are going to find it.

I equate what you're doing to walking up to a lawyer you don't know, saying, 'hey, I know you love writing legal stuff, so how's about we be friends and you can do that for me for free!!'

~~Agreed~~!

 

[icemanmp1]

ok ladies.. you cant tell me that you dont have male friends that would love to shag you because of what you do....... and want it for free.....the friends with benefits.....

i do agree with what sexy nina says above but how many of your friends have tried??? im sure theres been lots....

just my 2 cents..

 

[whatisthis]

hmm im going to seek like a 19 - 20 year old female as im 20.


but no specific lady in mind just a beautiful one atleast Lol

 

[whatisthis]

I tried like 3 from CL
all rejected

 

[sonoman]

There are various ways alpha male characteristics can manifest themselves, but deep and unshakable confidence, independence, leadership, belief in one's abilities to handle any situation, and so on are common factors.

Unfortunately, for a lot of men, these traits are articulated via arrogance, conceit, passive-aggression, etc, and most (smart) women can smell that a mile away. A lot of past posts by ladies here seem to indicate the same.

 

[whatisthis]

um no, I cannot find any.

 

[whatisthis]

check ur inbox

 

[JessicaPrabbit]

Sorry to intrude but; whatisthis, did you say you are 20? So you have been looking for basically your ENTIRE adult life to find someone who is not an SP who fits this description?

Seems to me you need a spanking, and NO not from a 19 year old hottie who is gonna feed you your sexual desires, you need a good old fashioned kick in the ass from your MOTHER. In her absence I know a very healthy Russian lady who adores correcting bad attitude in young men. If you need HER number I can get it for you.

BunnyHugs
Jessica
www.jessicaprabbit.com

um no, I cannot find any.

 

[HunkyBill]

Try PlentyofFish. I am sure u can find more than a few SPs that are looking to be "friends" with benefits. lol.

 

[HB40]

um no, I cannot find any.

surprise, surprise, surprise!

 

[whatisthis]

Sorry to intrude but; whatisthis, did you say you are 20? So you have been looking for basically your ENTIRE adult life to find someone who is not an SP who fits this description?

Seems to me you need a spanking, and NO not from a 19 year old hottie who is gonna feed you your sexual desires, you need a good old fashioned kick in the ass from your MOTHER. In her absence I know a very healthy Russian lady who adores correcting bad attitude in young men. If you need HER number I can get it for you.

BunnyHugs
Jessica
www.jessicaprabbit.com

thanks? good day

 

[Miss*Bijou]

Smells like trolling to me...

 

[namssa]

No dis............. but you’re coming off as very innocent and naive …..don’t worry, been there done that, and sometimes its better to be like that cuz the world seems a little more fair. But its also good to wake up......

None taken. I am far from innocent and naive, trust me. I have been called a lot of things, but innocent and naive is not included. What is it in my post exactly that suggests that to you? I know that the world can be a cruel place and it gives no quarter and we must work and endure for our pleasures and material treasures. No illusions here my friend.

don’t think that favorite SP of yours is going to go out and seek men in her life? And when she finds him, you don't think she’s going to tell him to fuck her? Of course she will and sometimes she will have more than one “friend for benefits” (clients and non) at a time for any number of reasons.

I expect nothing less than any SP I visit will have many men in her life, both in the industry and personal. I have no illusions of me being "the one" in any shape or form. Ummm, yeah, that is part of the MO for SP"s, to have guys fuck her, what were you thinking they do? She could have between "0" and "100" friends with benefits (clients and non), I really don' t care, not my business.

So What if an SP calls you to say hey lets get together for coffee. Big Deal.... That just supports my comment regarding your “value as a client increasing”. I get emails and coupons from Starbucks all the time, but it doesn’t mean they wanna be my best bud. Yes….your value as a CLIENT will go up tremendously when you pay her and build rapport.

Never said it was a big deal, just that I have seen a few socially as well as a client, I am under no illusions of what it means. I don't want to be their best friend, and don't want them to be mine. Just an enjoyment of two persons company in the real world. I feel my value as a client goes up when I am polite, decently dressed and have manners, besides being an SP, these are women and people as well, not just a play toy.

you want a good SP/client relationship, then of course you should be building rapport with your lady. And you know what? If you see her enough times and she likes you as a client, perhaps she’ll want to go out of her way to send you texts and ask you to meet up for coffee breaks in order to keep you returning as a client. After all, it is in her best interest. Its marketing 101 dude….Lol…I can’t believe I’m actually explaining this.

Ummmmm dude, are you drunk or dipping in to your meds too much or what? That is the point I was making, you really need to either sober up a bit or take a reading comprehension class or something. Basically, what is quoted just above was the point of my post. Marketing 101 indeed, I can't believe you are explaining it either, you think you are the only one who has figured that out? Give yourself another pat on the back Topper.

That’s the problem with making the switch from the SP world to the real world. It doesn’t transfer over very well. If you expect to meet a really hot lady in the real world and the first thing you do is try to build rapport with her, you’ll get labeled as the stereotypical “nice guy” and get shot down every single time. Whereas in the SP world, you rise to the top.

I agree with you that the SP world and real world don't transfer over very well. You seem to have forgotten your Marketing 101, maybe the first thing you would try to do is build rapport with a hot lady in the real world, but you would end up getting shot down. What you want to do is pique her interest, build some mystery and tension and have her desire to know more about you, not throw it all at her at the start, that's moronic. Its marketing 101 dude….Lol…I can’t believe I’m actually explaining this.

In the SP world, most of the ladies are used to dealing with so many jerks and assholes that when a decent guy comes along and likes them more than for just what you can pay them for they kinda like that. They may be far from home, and feel that it is good to be with someone who sees them as more than just a piece of ass for hire. Being polite, funny, clean and well mannered will give you an edge with a lot of SP's in a few ways.

I am not saying what you put in post #16 is wrong, indeed a lot of it is pretty bang on, I just don't fit your stereotype, that's all.

 

[sonoman]

In the SP world, most of the ladies are used to dealing with so many jerks and assholes that when a decent guy comes along and likes them more than for just what you can pay them for they kinda like that. Being polite, funny, clean and well mannered will give you an edge with a lot of SP's in a few ways.

Yup, and most of the ladies on here have said as much at one point or another.

 

[namssa]

Fake it till you make it. It could be a huge effort but it's doable. I know plenty of people who have done it, especially here in Vancouver.

Guys that "fake it" are what these women deal with all day long. No need to fake it, unless you don't have anything to offer.

Won't work unless you build attraction first. And that can also be a learned skill (doesn't have to be a natural talent).

Attraction has to be there, but there are various forms of attraction and it does not have to be there first. You can build a rapport and as long as there is an element that the lady finds attractive, it will all follow if exploited properly. Could be your looks, your character, sense of humour, communication skills, leadership qualities, travel, your car or home, your job........there has to be something there that piques her interest and desire to know you better.

Don't know about SPs, but a couple friends have gone out with strippers (without paying)

I have done that as well, years ago, nothing earth shattering there, and the occasional SP as well.

 

[whatisthis]

yeah its true i guess that SPs wont be Friends for benefits

 

[namssa]

Well, that's one theory Dr. Topper. The fact is that there are a lot of different ladies in this line of work with a lot of different backgrounds, motivations, goals and expectations. Most of what you speak of are reasonable rules for the ladies to follow so as not to get emotionally hurt by getting involved with a client who really isn't available to them. It's also impossible to un-know what you each know about the other's participation in this hobby. and as the ladies & others have pointed out, SPs have more than adequate access to casual sex in the course of their work so FWB is unlikely to even cross their minds.

But SPs are also regular people with the need for real intimacy, respect, acceptance and love. So a real relationship outside this hobby is possible. Rare, unlikely, fraught with pitfalls and feelings of betrayal and almost certain to fall apart.

You are pretty much bang on with your assessment PeaceGuy.

 

[namssa]

Well I'm pretty sure most Sps already get enough casual sex that they dont need to seek out booty calls from clients. So unless you are really god's gift to women- Yes it is wrong and unreasonable to think any SP would be interested in being strictly FWB with a client. Esentially by asking her to do so, you are taking away her lively hood.

I know of a couple SP's that have seen male model types for a session and a few of them said that they should get a discount because of their looks. They were politely (mostly) refused, so being God's gift to women is no guarantee.

If you were selling a service (mechanic for example) and if you because friends with a customer would you suddenly feel inclined to stop charging them? Highly unlikely.

These women are providing a service for a fee and I never expect to get anything for free. Like most guys, I have been given some nice offers from time to time and have even turned down some good offers occasionally.

If you want to bang SPs for free, I'd think that you need to meet them when they are 'off duty' but in that case you'd probably have more chance with regular civilian girls.

If you meet an SP and build a relationship with them and they do you for "free", then you are a lucky guy. The only thing is if you know she is an SP, you have to live with the knowledge that she is doing other guys as well. Rare, but it has happened. Regular girl you would very likely have a better chance with due to the circumstances with being an SP.