The Raquel Rose
E.D. Meds

Words Women Use

chuck1561

Banned
Oct 19, 2002
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hope this brings a chuckle to someone..:p

WORDS WOMEN USE

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FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.



FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.



NOTHING

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"



GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"



GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.



LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"



SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.



THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."



GO AHEAD!

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.



PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"



THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not! faint. Just say you're welcome.



THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

;)
 

chuck1561

Banned
Oct 19, 2002
1,505
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Victoria
What Do You Know

Some people have way to much time on their hands

Subject: You're a teacher, ergo you know everything, right?

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full
moon.


In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament
building is an American flag

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

...................Now you know everything!
 

chuck1561

Banned
Oct 19, 2002
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dufferin said:
Chuck, i'm confused......................or is that the point? :eek: :p
I fail to answer on the grounds I may incriminate myself :p ;)
 

chuck1561

Banned
Oct 19, 2002
1,505
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0
59
Victoria
Dogs'n Cats

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

7:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
12:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
7:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!



EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY-

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
Pricks. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors, by weaving around their feet while they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs next time. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile bastards, I again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Note-to-self: I think I'll try crapping under their bed, too. Wonder how long it'll take them to find it? Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Damn! Not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "ellergeez." Must learn what the Hell this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He must obviously be a bloody half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is preserved. But I can wait; it's only a matter of time... the
sonuvabitch.
 

chuck1561

Banned
Oct 19, 2002
1,505
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59
Victoria
The Middle Finger

A middle-finger history lesson:





Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified.



Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?




Giving the Finger



Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French,

anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.



Without the middle finger it would be impossible to

draw the renowned English longbow and therefore

they would be incapable of fighting in the future.



This famous weapon was made of the native English

Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was

known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").



Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English

won a major upset and began mocking the French by

waving their middle fingers at the defeated French,

saying, "See, we can still pluck yew! "PLUCK YEW!"



Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult

consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger- salute!



It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."



And yew thought yew knew everything.
 

spaceghost

Haunting Whispers
Oct 19, 2002
1,190
0
0
113
Vancouver
Re: What Do You Know

chuck1561 said:
Subject: You're a teacher, ergo you know everything, right?

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament
building is an American flag
Umm... damn piss-poor teacher then.

You would be surprised how many people actually believe this myth.

The flag flying over parliament is the old Canadian flag (pre-1965), commonly known as the red ensign.



From a distance (and since it is so tiny of the two dollar bill), the union jack in the upper corner corner of the red ensign is mistaken for the stars and stripes.

It isn't.
 
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