Why Men Hobby... a married man's story

spaceghost

Haunting Whispers
Oct 19, 2002
1,189
0
0
116
Vancouver
I saw this posting on a Seattle board, the link will take you to the actual article (TRB). Below, however, is a copy of the article to read here.

It is a story about why this particular person, a married man, 'hobbies'.

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I’ve seen a couple of posts over the past few days asking how frequently we hobby, how many times we see a given provider, and how much we’ve spent on the hobby this year. I posted a week or so back about “Wives Losing Libido”, and I have more to say about that now.

Why do I hobby? Aside from the obvious exquisite pleasure that rarely comes from an ordinary partner, there’s this. This is exactly what happened in my home two hours ago.

SCENE ONE: Me and my wife on a Sunday morning. I’m fresh out of the shower and getting ready to leave for the office to make up some lost time. She’s getting ready to meet a friend to go Christmas dress shopping. She’s in the powder room right by the front door getting ready, admiring her ever-improving figure in the full length mirror, as I walk by to kiss her goodbye for the afternoon.

Let’s call her Kelly.

Kelly: Wow! Look at my legs! Come see! (I walk over and see even more definition than yesterday in her thighs. She has been working out every day for two months, for multiple hours at a time, trying to lose 20 pounds and convert fat to muscle. Some would say she is obsessing about it.)

Me: Nice. (I’ve seen this routine about a hundred times now, and she pulls this every day with one body part or another. The sad part is that she has no libido at all these days, possibly because of the incessant exercise).

Kelly: No, look at it from my angle! (I bend down and caress her smooth legs, noticing the improvements and getting randy by the moment. I want her.)

Me: Nice.

Kelly: Do you like my new body?

Me: Absolutely. (…and getting hornier) Maybe I can take it for a test drive tonight! (Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge. Ten minutes ago we were hugging and giggling and she was telling me how cute she thinks I am. Maybe something will happen….right here….right now.)

Kelly: Hmm…. (I grab her gently from behind, slightly bend her over and place her hands on the wall. I then swoop underneath her with my pelvis and make doggy-style movements. We play like this a lot.)

Kelly: HMMMMmmmm……Hey, we’ve never done it like this! (Against a wall) MMMmmmmm……(I start kissing the back of her neck). Wanna try it?

Me: Well, shyeah! (We start undressing, as I make a mental note that it has been six weeks since we “collaborated” in the bedroom. Not because of me, that’s for dang sure. I’ve made propositions at least every other day.)

Me: “Maybe I’ll try some of my new techniques.” (Aside from the hobby, I’ve also been reading some sexuality books. My favorite is “Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men”. I do have new techniques that I want to try, but the floor of the powder room during a surprise quickie isn’t necessarily the right place.)

We begin quickly undressing. She still has her tennis shoes and top on. I remove the top, and I’m standing there naked, but not yet erect. (More kissing and fondling.) I throw in a few moves.

Kelly: Hey, your technique has improved! (I’m just getting started, I think. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, my dear.)

Me: What, this? This is nothing. I’ll show you some of the good stuff tonight!

She faces the wall and leans into it. I’m ready for business.

Kelly: Go get the lubricant. (Vagisil makes things nice and slippery when there’s no time for natural lubrication.) (After asking where it is, I shuffle off to the master bath, buck naked and at full attention, grab the bottle, and return. She applies it to herself, and I swirl some on myself for luck.)

She’s facing the wall and bending over now, and I prepare to enter her. She grabs my member, I crouch lower, and she inserts me at the tip.

Kelly: Be careful, now. (It has been six weeks, I think to myself. That and my extra thickness make it difficult sometimes.)

I push just a little and pull back a little more. Again. I’m being very careful.

Kelly: OW!

I move even slower, only one quarter in. Careful…..careful…..

Kelly: It hurts! OW!

Halfway in, back and forth. Slow, deliberate movement on my part. No hurry. Get ready…get ready….okay now move all the way in.

Kelly: You’re too big! OW! (She pushes me back and stands up. I add more lubricant to myself.)

Here we both are, standing naked in the bathroom. Well….except for my socks and her tennis shoes. What a motley crew we are.

Me: Would it be easier on the floor? (Why is it always *something* with her?)

Kelly: I don’t want to get pregnant! I don’t want a baby right now! (Duh…neither do I right now). And I’m NOT going on the pill again either! It gives me headaches and makes me fat! (A baby? Where the hell is this coming from? We’ve gone bareback dozens of times after she stopped taking the pill…)

Me: (perplexed) So now what? I can use a condom and really lube it up.

Kelly: OK. But hurry. I’m supposed to meet her in 20 minutes. (I’m thinking to myself, “OK, going bareback you could knock it out in five minutes, but with a condom?” Anyone who has been with me knows that I have a lot of stamina with a condom, like it or not.)

I run to the bedroom, now flinging in the wind instead of at attention. I grab a condom from my shaving bag and return to the powder room. She’s laying on the floor now, legs in a V. I put the condom on the sink until I’m ready for it again. I want to calm her down a bit, so I lift her pelvis and start kissing her inner thighs, in preparation for some DATY. The master plan? Give her some pleasure, get her steamy hot, kiss her to become fully erect, and whammo. Some master plan.

Kelly: I don’t have time for this now!
Me: ? (What the…)
Kelly: Forget it. I don’t want to do this. I’m leaving. (She starts getting dressed.)
Me: !!!

Silently, but steaming, I return to the foyer and grab my pants and boxers. On with the clothes. Where are my shoes? Grab the shoes, slip them on, grab my keys, and out the front door. Bitch!!!


Welcome to my so-called-life these days.

Ever watch that game show from the 70’s, “Let’s Make A Deal”, where contestants have to choose between a prize they’ve already won and whatever’s behind a curtain on stage? Well, which of these would you choose if you were me?

Door Number 1:
Kelly: Ow! It hurts! You’re too big!
Kelly: I don’t want to do this now. I’m leaving.

Door Number 2:
Provider A: You’re blessed!
Provider A: You f**k like a demon!
Provider B: You’re a naughty, naughty boy!
Provider C: She won’t have sex with you? God, I feel sorry for your wife!

Alas, my situation. As long as I’m in this predicament, as long as there are wonderful providers out there who can satisfy my needs and desires, and as long as I have the means to make it happen, I will be in the hobby.

Here I am. Hello, world.

HoseLover98

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SG
Casting Shadows


 
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gymguy

Member
Sep 23, 2002
248
1
18
Greater Vancouver area
no variety

SG, my experiences are different, but with the same outcome.
My wife does not like variety or even wearing lingerie that I love.
Although sex is promised or hinted at, the delivery is much more rare. I like to try different positions, actions etc. I would like to incorporate adult videos at least once in awhile, but so far no go.
This hobby gives me some fantasy relief and the variety I need. It is much better than the magazines and downloaded porn I have.
It also takes me back to younger days when I have a session with a cute SP such as Melody.
See you out there.
 

Cock Throppled

Well-known member
Oct 1, 2003
4,712
572
113
Upstairs
That description from the guy on the Seattle board pretty much explains why he's not getting any at home. His wife is working on improving her figure, sounds accomodating and horny, but the only reason he can find why she won't do it is because he's too big. Yeah, right. The bitch. I'd bet there are much bigger problems than his huge size and the reason she's toning up and not interested is she's found someone more sympathetic, kind and caring whomeets her needs and probably has a very ordinary penis.
 

Big Trapper

Sr. Member***
May 13, 2002
662
1
0
Let me tell ya a story...

Before we got married and just after we got married, my wife worshipped me (I know, she outright told me so). I was the most important person in her life. The sex was the best I have ever had - bar none. No other lady, SP or otherwise, even got close.

Then baby No. 1 came along and naturally moved into No. 1 spot. This is natural, and a good thing I thought - she was a fabulous mom. Although less frequent, the sex was still great.

But then baby No. 2 and 3 came along and I got bumped considerably further down the ladder. Jeez, WTF is happening here?

Then you add a horse and some chickens and some cats... and she turns forty-something and has to "find" herself... and I'm basically out around the dog house somewhere when it comes to importance. Along with my sex life.

So now I refer to her (in private) as "the barracuda"... and I poon.

...end of story.
 
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Poseidon

Mr. Controversy
Jul 21, 2003
576
0
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Your place or mine?
Hmmm....these stories kind of turn me off from the thought of marriage. I've never been married, but I see a lot of negativity in terms of the sex life. Is there anything positive about marriage folks?
 

georgebushmoron

jus call me MR. President
Mar 25, 2003
3,130
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Seattle
Hey Spaceghost...

You've got no kids, right? So then get divorced ASAP from that woman. She is the female equivalent of a sloppy man. Overweight, and a bad fuck.

You only live once. Life is too short. Live life to enjoy it. Don't trick yourself into thinking that your love for this person is worth being miserable, because with an attitude like her's, a man's misery is not worth it.

Furthermore, if SP's make you happier, that shows you that even a shallow relationship makes you happier than the history you've shared with that slob.
 

Big Trapper

Sr. Member***
May 13, 2002
662
1
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vancouverman said:
Can you explain THAT to me?
Nope, not in a hundred years. I can't even explain it to myself.

Kids have a lot to do with it. The family life is good, and I have found an outlet for my sexual expression, so I limp (sic) along.

Her personality, while exasperating at times, is still closer to mine than most people I know. She's a friend, my partner - and only people in certain lines of work can appreciate the term "partner".

Good cook? GREAT cook.

Too stubborn to contemplate change? You bet.

Yep, can't even explain it to myself... now that the kids are leaving home, we'll see what comes next.
 

hitrack

I'LL KILL YA ALL!!
Feb 25, 2003
3,883
0
0
Surrey
It's a terrible feeling when you realize the person you love is boaring now, or you can't stand them anymore.
 

Cock Throppled

Well-known member
Oct 1, 2003
4,712
572
113
Upstairs
In my case we both grew differently. I expanded my intellect and she expanded her waistline. Just kidding - we just became different people after 15 years and parted on good terms. I'm still friendly with her. My new relationship started with fireworks, but that always dissipates with time. The pooning three times a year doesn't mean I still don't love her beyond words. The sex is less frequent, but still good. I think men like variety and it's proven a new partner will revive even a limp...attitude. And in my house I do all the cooking.
 

galleon

New member
Aug 29, 2003
32
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vancouverman said:
yeh ... find a good cook .. you will save on restaurants
LOL My wife married me cause I know how to cook and she doesn't. :)

I've been married two years now, (just had my 2nd anniversary yesterday actually) and I haven't seen an SP since I've been married. I used to a fair amount before I got married, but none now. I will again because there are some things that my wife just won't do. Our sex life is good, but she just won't do some things, so I'll eventually go see an SP. Probably not until we move back to Canada though.
 

DDawGG

The Happy Penis
Oct 6, 2003
783
0
16
Livin' the Dream!
ohmary.com
Why Men Hobby... this married man's story


I married my high school sweetheart, I was 19 she was 20. I had not even lived on my own at that point, straight from Mom taking care of me to my wife.

Up to that point we were having sex about 4 times a week in the back of my '65 Pontiac. I really thought that this was going to be heaven. Not having to worry about a cop tapping on the window as I was bustin'a nut!! Sex anytime - anywhere.

What I didn't count on was that for her "I DO" meant "I DON"T ANYMORE".

She went from the best I had (so far) to completely not interested in sex in about 3 months.

I hung in there for about 6 years before I really started exploring other options. By this point I did not love her at all and actually felt very resentful towards her. At one point I went 18 months (read 1.5 years!) with having sex with her. That is just not right.

Other than my parents guilt, the thing that really kept me from leaving was the fact that she would never complain. I would go out on a Friday night and come back home sometime on Sunday to find my laundry neatly folded in my drawer, clean house and a hot meal. In a nutshell it was very convenient.

That takes me into the mid 80's. Aids was new and only a problem in the gay community, anything that you could catch would be gone in a few weeks with the right drugs and I discovered bodybuilding. 1986, What an absolutely beautiful time to be a male!!!

I had buffed the lure into a magnificent piece of art and I was ready to do some fishing.

As luck would have it, a close friend owned a busy nightclub in Vancouver and needed a couple of guys to be the half-naked waiters on ladies night (remember those???). We were constantly pursued by women, it was amazing. I haven't experienced anything like it before or since. Picking and choosing. Taking one into the backroom for a quickie and then going back to another's house for an all-nighter.

Then one night I met a girl who was very different, she was strong willed, sensual, mature, smart, had it all together and yet she was only 19!!! Gravity didn't even know she existed yet. What a beauty.

To make a long story short, this girl became the love of my life, we just celebrated our 10 wedding anniversary and we have 2 sons. And other than sex, my life is great.

Great home, great wife, great kids, great friends (hell even the ex-wife isn't that bad!!!) but I am SO tired of having sex by myself, that I am once again looking for alternatives.

Business has been fairly good to me and I don't want to screw up what I have so instead of looking for short term relationships (they ALWAYS come back to haunt you) I think paying for companionship is the best alternative for me.

Hence, I embark on my life as a pooner.

"Who let the DDawGG out"?
 

Cock Throppled

Well-known member
Oct 1, 2003
4,712
572
113
Upstairs
Men always are on the prowl. There is no perfect partner. Hugh Grant cheated on Liz Hurley for Gawd's sake. I'm sure Tommy Lee screwed around on Pamela Anderson. No matter how green the pasture the grass on someone else's field looks tastier and is always worth a nibble.
 

Two can come

Taste Tester.
Jun 10, 2003
74
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Valley
No !!!! not after about ten years. Not one of our couple friends is happy after ten years. Always snipping at each other and no SEX worth mentioning.They only stay together for the kids.

Its better to get a good friend (male or female) to do stuff with, sit and chat, travel and poon once a week.

IMHO
 

yoniluvrca

New member
Dec 10, 2002
311
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The World
My perspective

As an unmarried male here is my view on this subject.

Marriage seems to me to be one of the most unnatural and crippling of institutions ever invented. As humans we love to do this. Take something that is endlessly inspiring and beautiful(Love) and try to make it permenant-the result-marriage(and it never really works). My feelings are never constant. I can fall in love in a moment and fall out of love just as fast. I have been accused of being unable to commit(hell yeah) but I see it that I am unwilling to live a life that is less than my dreams.

I am not saying that all marriage is horrible. Yet as I travel the world I find very few really happy couples-those that I do find have open relationships-that is they allow for other partners-at the very least the idea of other partners. This does not mean swapping but actually being available to meet and explore other people while still remaining connected with the primary partner. Hell I even know guys who poon with the wife's full knowledge. A responsible partner(male or female) would acknowledge if they are not fulfilling the other partners sexual needs and encourage them to find it else where. I want those I love to be happy and if this means them having a fling-go for it-tell me all the details(if you want) makr a video -let me watch it-have fun-live.
 

Poseidon

Mr. Controversy
Jul 21, 2003
576
0
16
Your place or mine?
Hey Alexandria, I agree. There are loving couples that I know stay together until the bitter end. Not all marriages can be horrible, and not all can be numb without feeling and weariness for the other.

I’ve never been married, but I am hoping to share my life with one person (yes unbelievable coming from a pooner). I’ve been in a few relationships, and so far I haven’t connected and gone down the road to marriage. But it is what I seek, the connection, the sharing of thoughts, the giving, and the multitude of possibilities in merging with the love of your life.

Maybe I’m a little old fashion and a bit of a romantic but this is what I seek. My goals might have strayed off while being in this hobby, but I consider it to be a release of urges before I ever do settle down. I hope to never poon while being married, although if she is open to it and there is a need to spice up the marriage, I may reconsider.

Too many times I’ve heard that there’s a financial burden associated in both pooning and being married. Yes that’s true, but I think money will be insignificant if she is the true love of your life. After all, you can’t buy love from an SP.
 

Lilith

Prescription Strength
Sep 25, 2003
134
0
0
Edmonton, Alberta
commonlaw, good relationship
commonlaw, poor relationship

Why don't you do the honours Cman?
 
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