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Watch out for Nuns

traveler

New member
Jun 1, 2002
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A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the comer of his eye...It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION...10 MILES

He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought......Soon he sees another sign, which says: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES

Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real....Then he drives past a third sign saying: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive....On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS He climbs the steps and rings the bell....The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?" ...He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business"...."Very well, my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented....The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, Please knock on this door".......

He does as he is told and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door.....This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway"...He gets $100 out of his wallet and places it in the second nuns cup...He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him....As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:

GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.

SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.
 

HowieMeeker

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Mar 26, 2003
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Here
Five of the same nuns die in a bus crash....

... and at are at the Pearly Gates awaiting entry.

"Please admit to all sins" they are told.

First nun, Sister Jane, says "I saw a naked man and had impure thoughts".

"GO WASH YOUR EYES IN THE HOLY BASIN AT MY FEET AND THEN ENTER HEAVEN AWASH OF YOUR SIN".

The second nun, Sister Janet, says "I touched a man's penis with my hand and made him spew forth his seed".

"GO WASH YOUR HAND IN THE HOLY BASIN AT MY FEET AND THEN ENTER HEAVEN AWASH OF YOUR SIN".

The third nun in line, Sister Rebecca, says "I touched two men with my hands and they both spewed seed".

"GO WASH BOTH OF YOUR HANDS IN THE HOLY BASIN AT MY FEET - TWICE - AND THEN ENTER HEAVEN AWASH OF YOUR SINS".

Suddenly, the the fifth nun in line, Sister Elizabeth, pushes the fourth nun, Sister Cynthia, to the ground, runs to the basin and starts rapidly taking big swallows.

"WHY ARE YOU BEHAVING AS SUCH MY CHILD?!?"

Barely pausing to get some air, Sister Cynthia gasps "I want to get my drinks in before Sister Cynthia sticks her ass in there".
 
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