TO BC Boy - re: feelings for an SP
- Thread starter SeekSteadyRegSP
- Start date
Actually
Tragic, yes in that he lost a daughter and his wife when they were both young, but not tragic because they were unhappy because they lacked money.PBS runs a very good documentary on it periodically, you should watch it.steverino said:
Maybe you should be a tad bit less pretentious, "Henry," and not lecture the unwashed masses.H.Miller said:
Samuel Clemens was a highly successful author, and a wealthy man. His near bankruptcy stemmed from his failed investments in new technology. BTW, if you find fault with this information (yes, I did watch Ken Burns' documentary), please feel free to explain it to Normy at the other end of the bar.
TJ in the 'Peg said:
Have you considered the possibilitythat your willing to put up with anything to have a hot chick? At least for a while....personally I suggest this is a fantasy IMHO. A man will not go for this...unless he dosen't really care anyway...just having fun......GUYS.....step up to the plate and layoff the justifications. Say it like it is.....have you got the balls or what? Say it an't so
You also have the strength to convince yourself that you don't care if she does several strangers a week. Its surprising how many guys think that a woman can just turn her feelings off and on for the sake of $. Women are an emotional bunch. And sex is an emotional activity. And if ya don't think they enjoy a portion of who they're fuckin', think about the SPs that you've ever gone to see who you know have BFs and who totally get into your session. Her BF is sittin' at home kiddin' himself like you are.TJ in the 'Peg said:
Lets hope you don't beat yourself up too badly when that strength you have eventually fades and you're hit with the reality of the situation. Check out the avatar below. Imagine that's your GF and that's some dude that's payin' her. It's okay. It's just a job. Like being a chef is just a job.
Oh, I understand all too well, 'my friend'. You don't want to post anymore along this line because you'd rather not talk about it. We aint even close to a flame war here. But I understand that you'd rather read the posts that support your situation. That tell you everything will all work out in the end. I would too. And for your sake, I hope it all does. It sure as fuck was a disastrous time in my life when it didn't.TJ in the 'Peg said:
great thread
I've been in some similar situations. You really don't know what sort of pre-existing connection you have with a worker and sometimes it can be a bit of a surprise.
One thing I've learned is that it does take a while to develop trust in each other and generosity on our part does make a big difference. Probably the most intimate relationship I've had was with a worker and I always made a point of paying (she was struggling to make ends meet anyway so it would have been a bad idea not to). The first time we kissed was incredible - the most completely natural kiss I've ever had.
I actually don't think we had much in common and we stopped seeing each other a few years ago but it was really great while it lasted.
On the other hand I met another woman at the old Den for Men a long time ago and we immediately became very close (ie in an hour). She gave me her home number and non-stage name after the first date. Once again we were pretty different but there was a very strong emotional attraction. However, that was a pretty difficult relationship. Oddly enough it would never have happened if she hadn't given me her contact info as she got fired about 2 days after we met.
That lasted for about 6 months but we talked again a few times 2 years ago (she recognized me in the street oddly enough) and I remember looking at her before the I left the last time and remembering the very powerful and exciting emotional energy we shared.
You can't really put a price on experiences like those.
However, even without some obvious connection or a build up of trust its interesting to find out that you can relate to and be turned on by people who are quite different from you or from your expectations of what an "attractive" person looks like.
BTW I was ok that they were working (or trying to get the same job back). My main concern in that regard was that they treat people fairly and take pride in what they do. I mean I can't really complain can I???
I've been in some similar situations. You really don't know what sort of pre-existing connection you have with a worker and sometimes it can be a bit of a surprise.
One thing I've learned is that it does take a while to develop trust in each other and generosity on our part does make a big difference. Probably the most intimate relationship I've had was with a worker and I always made a point of paying (she was struggling to make ends meet anyway so it would have been a bad idea not to). The first time we kissed was incredible - the most completely natural kiss I've ever had.
I actually don't think we had much in common and we stopped seeing each other a few years ago but it was really great while it lasted.
On the other hand I met another woman at the old Den for Men a long time ago and we immediately became very close (ie in an hour). She gave me her home number and non-stage name after the first date. Once again we were pretty different but there was a very strong emotional attraction. However, that was a pretty difficult relationship. Oddly enough it would never have happened if she hadn't given me her contact info as she got fired about 2 days after we met.
That lasted for about 6 months but we talked again a few times 2 years ago (she recognized me in the street oddly enough) and I remember looking at her before the I left the last time and remembering the very powerful and exciting emotional energy we shared.
You can't really put a price on experiences like those.
However, even without some obvious connection or a build up of trust its interesting to find out that you can relate to and be turned on by people who are quite different from you or from your expectations of what an "attractive" person looks like.
BTW I was ok that they were working (or trying to get the same job back). My main concern in that regard was that they treat people fairly and take pride in what they do. I mean I can't really complain can I???
Getting up the gumption to ask? It seems he came here looking for encouragement, and we've provided plenty of it. And BC_Boy has said that until it's absolutely settled otherwise, he intends to pay full price for a service from which he derives value.craiglist-lover said:
At least one lady has spoken up to say that she likes BC_Boy's "pay for the service you receive" attitude. We don't know if the target of BCB's affections reads the board, but it's not unreasonable to think she might find herself similarly moved. I won't bore anyone with love stories... and they're not my stories to tell anyway. Spend enough time with enough ladies and you'll eventually hear the stories from those a little closer to the action.This going to a session that one hopes ends up magically transforming into a long-term relationship seems a little strange to me, but perhaps I'm just jaded.
I'll grant that due to some of the peculiarities of our little hobby, building long-term relationships might be pretty unlikely, but it's not totally impossible.
Anita's Massage said:
Basically, who cares what I think however I will state IMO, TJ and BC are both pussy's. The rest of it I don't really care one way or the other. The rational about who does what..... and why they do it... and how it's justified .......are often beyond belief..... Fill your boots...just don't cry wolf when it's done.
xoxo
Slowhand, yours is the most astute observation made thus far in this inane thread. Fantasy, ego gratification, and fields of bullshit stretching off to the horizon...slow__hand said:
"She Comes Home to Me" by Adam Sandler
Though I have been a fool for love
I have finally made my score
I got a girl, and I don't mean to boast
But she loves me the most
Even though she's a highly paid whore
She'll give head to a sheep
She can stuff three cocks in her cheek
But she comes home to me
She'll do the groom and the best man
She'll slap your ass in the back of a van
But she comes home to me
She could fuck nine guys in a row
But still have a tenth for me
And I'm the only one who gets to kiss them lips
Unless you pay an extra fifty
So mister, don't you fall in love
Cause I'm the only cat who doesn't wear a glove
Since her heart belongs to me
She has a throat that just won't quit
She can take all of it
And still have room for your balls
but she shops in the malls for me
She'll say twelve then call back and say one
But I don't care I know it's just work not fun
When she blows you, Jack
Don't you think she's not thinking of me
She'll go down on a yack, lick a horse's nutsack
But strictly for the cash
And it's only me who doesn't pay a fee
to watch her put a water bottle in her gash
(Put a water bottle in her gash)
She'll let you suck her nips till they're leakin'
But don't you dare try to go antique-ing
Cause she does that with me
Her pussy's sweet as honey
But when she moans, it's just for the money
Unless she's sittin' on me
She'll cram your asshole with a mouse
But she won't do it in our house
Tough luck, Jack
She knows that don't fly with me
She might eat your wife's box
But she won't tell ya where you left your socks
She rolled up and down your fat prick
But it was me who took her to the Meg Ryan flick
She's got a face full of nuts
And a mouth full of cocks
She's done Seal, Larry King, four New Kids on the Block,
She blew the Winnepeg Jets right after a game
But they never got to know her actual name
On your face she will piss
On your chest she might poop
But she won't prepare her famous vegetable soup
That's simply reserved..
Oh she'll bite ya, she'll spank ya
But she'll never thank you for free
Cause baby... comes home to me.
Comin' home!!
Hey Fuzzy...FuZzYknUckLeS said:You also have the strength to convince yourself that you don't care if she does several strangers a week. Its surprising how many guys think that a woman can just turn her feelings off and on for the sake of $. Women are an emotional bunch. And sex is an emotional activity. And if ya don't think they enjoy a portion of who they're fuckin', think about the SPs that you've ever gone to see who you know have BFs and who totally get into your session. Her BF is sittin' at home kiddin' himself like you are.
Lets hope you don't beat yourself up too badly when that strength you have eventually fades and you're hit with the reality of the situation. Check out the avatar below. Imagine that's your GF and that's some dude that's payin' her. It's okay. It's just a job. Like being a chef is just a job.
You know, this is the brutal truth, and you're absolutely right. We've been able to count on your consistent brutality, like a jackhammer that never fails. If a guy dates an SP, better that he realise the truth and either accept it or reject it, but never kid himself. Frankly being in this situation myself, I've finally begun to realise that in fact my SP-GF does enjoy her job (depending on the customer, of course). It was something that she swore up and down that her heart has to follow her body, thus she could not enjoy her job with customers. If that is the case, then explain how she enjoyed herself with me before I became her BF. And I suspect that she enjoyed similarly with others as well.
The other day she casually related to me how, before me, she had one regular customer who she took an interest in and she wanted to "catch him". It didn't work out (he was not interested in her that way). But it dawned on me that being a regular customer of her's and leading up to being attracted to him meant that she was enjoying her sessions with him at least to some extent.
Another time spoke of ridding herself of her regular customers as she was tired of the increasingly pending pressures they presented to her (they had been regular customers for a long time). One guy, who she got rid of, she remarked, "well anyway, he had a small cock". That told me something about enjoyment being a factor in her job.
Now that I realise the bullshit she gave to me about "heart must follow", the same bullshit we hear from females a lot (the truth is, is that they enjoy physical pleasures like anyone else), thus disallowing their enjoyment of sex with customers, was a fiction given to me to appease my insecurity in the matter and to negate her own discord with the situation. Just as an accountant derives their perverse pleasure in balancing the books, so does an SP derive her pleasure in her chosen vocation. Yet funny how we colluded to fool ourselves, for the avoidance of shame or to suspend disbelief of the absurdity we find ourselves in. I'd prefer we faced the truth. Face it, you sell your body for sex and you enjoy it. Face it, I date a prostitute.
Evidently I have to decide if this is acceptable. Love is blind, and makes you tolerant of what otherwise would be intolerable. But one thing for sure, where once I had sympathy that my poor lass was doing a job out of necessity, that sympathy is virtually gone.
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OK, so I might not have given the best reply, but I didn't say that you said he shouldn't pay. I was referring to the fact that other ladies seem to be impressed by his behaviour and that may work to his advantage.craiglist-lover said:
Mixing the session into it could be confusing - is it the session or reality talking - but for various reasons it may not be practical to ask outside of a session (ie. trouble expressing things in email or on the phone,...). I can see the utility of discussing this over coffee, but I find it a lot easier to be open during a session. Perhaps they feel the same.
Also, BCB indicated that she's not an indy, so contacting her by alternate means is difficult. They'd have to hook up at least once more to figure out how they're going to talk after the session, and if they're doing that, he might just as well speak what's on his mind.
Anita's Massage said:
Based on what I've posted about her, your advice is good. I might just do that, though I'd be real sad to let her go. We are working on getting her out of the biz right now, which means I'm going to have to support her. This is something I'd be more than happy to do, but it's something she's going to have to honestly want.
Hey GBM!
The gals in the business do it for the money, no doubt. And, assuming that they are not being forced by some pimp or worse, they have chosen to do the job. It is for many the only way to make serious big money due to lack of language skills, education or job opportunities. It's still a choice which others in the same position did not make. I do not knock SPs for their choice in work; without them, I might be taking huge risks with SWs; I consider that SPs provide a valuable social service.
It is also not unusual for Asian gals in the biz to look for someone who, one way or an other, will provide them with money or assets, even while they are working (cuz $15k to $30k per month is just too hard to give up). And if they are to leave their work for you, then you may be expected to make up the lost cash.
Are there exceptions? Yes, I'm sure. Is yours one of them?
I was in a favourite AMP of mine, knew the girls, and knew that some had BFs and even a husband. Next door to the room I was in was the SP who had the husband at home. It was noisy in there, and then came a very loud, truly-felt authentic "F**K ME!!!!!" from deep in her throat. Startled me and my temporary ladyfriend, whose face bore the look of someone who knew next door some gal was getting what she really wanted at the time. While I certainly do not fall into the category, it is not unusual for SPs in AMPs to get a little excited about the good-looking johns.georgebushmoron said:
The gals in the business do it for the money, no doubt. And, assuming that they are not being forced by some pimp or worse, they have chosen to do the job. It is for many the only way to make serious big money due to lack of language skills, education or job opportunities. It's still a choice which others in the same position did not make. I do not knock SPs for their choice in work; without them, I might be taking huge risks with SWs; I consider that SPs provide a valuable social service.
It is also not unusual for Asian gals in the biz to look for someone who, one way or an other, will provide them with money or assets, even while they are working (cuz $15k to $30k per month is just too hard to give up). And if they are to leave their work for you, then you may be expected to make up the lost cash.
Are there exceptions? Yes, I'm sure. Is yours one of them?
If I was to get involved with an SP, I know I have absolutely no right to tell her to retire.Sonny said:
As I mentioned before, I wouldn't mind her profession; instead, I would provide her with support (ie. advice, a listening ear) when she needs it.
Overall, I would support her profession regardless if she was a hairdress, chef, model, lawyer, etc.
I'm aware of this fact, and I'd make sure she is aware of the dangers. and I'd do whatever I can to provide her with safety; but in the end of the day, if she wants to be an SP, its her choice. I can either a.) complain about it and try and force her to retire, or b.) be supportive of what she does and provide support when needed.craiglist-lover said:
I prefer option B.
