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This guy could have used a SP!

HowieMeeker

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Mar 26, 2003
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Story from: http://personal.coslink.net/kpezzi/erqanda.htm

A man with an affinity for kitchen utensils presented to the ER after he underestimated the depth of his blender in comparison to the length of his penis. He either had incredibly quick reflexes, or his withdrawal was expedited by the pain of being whacked by a blade tine spinning at 22,000 rpm, because his injuries were surprisingly minor. He justified this activity by saying that he didn't have a girlfriend—and apparently no Vaseline, either. Although I was not particularly interested in hearing more, he explained that the sensory delights of the swirling peaches was simply irresistible.


 

BS Detector

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Sep 8, 2003
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Well if this guy's nickname wasn't 'Tiny' before this incident, it probably will be after. You would think that most guys looking for a 'substitute' would try to find something as close as posible to the real thing. What ever made this guy think that something with sharp metal blades spinning around at 2200 rpm would be a reasonable facimile of the real thing?!?!?!? Maybe his significant other used a peach douche once? I'm thinking that this guy is fortunate that he didn't climb up on the counter over the kitchen sink. The in-sink garbage disposal would have been much less forgiving than the blender.
 

Saffire

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Jun 28, 2003
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My Own Private Idaho
HowieMeeker said:
He justified this activity by saying that he didn't have a girlfriend—and apparently no Vaseline, either.
:eek: Never never use vaseline! It is a bacteria nesting ground. Please, I beg all of you, just don't do it. Pick up a bottle of KY (liquid, not the jelly). It's all you will ever need, and designed to be used for the very purpose you will use it for.

Lube. It's a good thing.........:)

Saffire
(If Martha Stewart were dead, she'd roll over in her grave.....)
 

HowieMeeker

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Mar 26, 2003
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Saffire....

...the post was cut/paste from the link noted.

Couldn't agree more on the lube. Vaseline (petroleum based) is NOT a good option for a whole pile of reasons - not just the important one your noted.

However, the liquid KY is not the best either IMHO. Astro-Glide is where it is at. A "friend" of mine found that if she put just a hint of vanilla in her Astro-Glide, it even had a pleasant taste.
 

Saffire

Multi-faceted Member
Jun 28, 2003
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My Own Private Idaho
Astro-Glide has glycerine in it. My yummy parts don't like glycerine. Vanilla, though - that's an astounding idea!
 

Fatman15

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Mar 25, 2003
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Under the Georgia Viaduct
One of the Darwin award winners in the last few years died when he came on the palm sander he was using to masterbate with. I guess that ranks up there with affixiation auto eroticism as ways I don't want to be found.