You know you're a hardcore redneck
when...
1)...your front porch collapses and
kills more than five dogs.
2)...you let your 12 year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table
in front of her kids.
3)...your wife's hairdo was once
ruined by a ceiling fan.
4)...one of your kids was born on a
pool table.
5)...you light a match in the bathroom and your house explodes right off its wheels.
6)...you've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.
7)...you think the phrase "loaded
dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.
8)...you wonder how service stations
keep their restrooms so clean.
9)...your toilet paper has page
numbers on it.
10)...your Junior Prom had a daycare.
11)...The Halloween pumpkin on the
porch has more teeth than you do.
12)....you think the last words of
the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines!"
13)...you think Dom Perignon is a character from The Godfather.
14)...you have to go outside to get
something from the fridg.
15)...you need one more hole punched
in your card to get a freebie at
The House of Tatoos.
16)...Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people.
17)...the bluebook value of your pickup goes up or down depending on
how much gas you've got in it.
18)...you think a woman who is "out
of your league," bowls on a different night.
19)...you can't marry your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
20)...someone in your family died,
right after saying, "Hey! Watch this!"
when...
1)...your front porch collapses and
kills more than five dogs.
2)...you let your 12 year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table
in front of her kids.
3)...your wife's hairdo was once
ruined by a ceiling fan.
4)...one of your kids was born on a
pool table.
5)...you light a match in the bathroom and your house explodes right off its wheels.
6)...you've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.
7)...you think the phrase "loaded
dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.
8)...you wonder how service stations
keep their restrooms so clean.
9)...your toilet paper has page
numbers on it.
10)...your Junior Prom had a daycare.
11)...The Halloween pumpkin on the
porch has more teeth than you do.
12)....you think the last words of
the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines!"
13)...you think Dom Perignon is a character from The Godfather.
14)...you have to go outside to get
something from the fridg.
15)...you need one more hole punched
in your card to get a freebie at
The House of Tatoos.
16)...Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people.
17)...the bluebook value of your pickup goes up or down depending on
how much gas you've got in it.
18)...you think a woman who is "out
of your league," bowls on a different night.
19)...you can't marry your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
20)...someone in your family died,
right after saying, "Hey! Watch this!"
