Someone i barely know asked me to borrow 100.00 to go see a sp. We went to one of those korean places and he had no money. Told him i dont lend money unless there's something i can hold onto or have on hand(so he doesnt take off and not pay). Then i got alot of crap about how im not a real friend etc. I dont like lending people money who hangs out at bars or seem constantly broke. Like to hear your experience reguarding lending peop money.
People you barely know who ask for loans?
- Thread starter LittleAsianGuy
- Start date
You hit it on the nail. I thought exactly the same way when he said you werent much of a friend blah blah blah.
This is an interesting question that applies to just about everyone. What do you do when a friend or family member asks to borrow some money from you? What is your rule? Or do you have one?
Personally, I try to avoid lending money to friends and especially relatives. However, I give the exception to the rule to immediate family. Why do I avoid lending money? No, i'm not greedy over my money, the fact of the matter is if you lend out money to your friends/family, you'll most likely never see it back. After a long period of non-payments, it may be awkward to keep hounding for payment. And what happens after that? The lender builds resentment and the relationship will inevitably turn sour.
That leads to me a story. A LONG time ago, my uncle borrowed a substantial amount of money from my Grandma and neglected to pay her back. This was about 20 years ago now, and guess what? Whenever my uncles name is mentioned around my Grandma, you can see her slowly clench her fist. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but my Grandma still to this day mentions my uncle in a negative light.
So that is why I don't lend out money to friends or family. Better to say no at the beginning than to destroy a relationship.
What is your money lending rule? And no, you can't borrow $20…
Personally, I try to avoid lending money to friends and especially relatives. However, I give the exception to the rule to immediate family. Why do I avoid lending money? No, i'm not greedy over my money, the fact of the matter is if you lend out money to your friends/family, you'll most likely never see it back. After a long period of non-payments, it may be awkward to keep hounding for payment. And what happens after that? The lender builds resentment and the relationship will inevitably turn sour.
That leads to me a story. A LONG time ago, my uncle borrowed a substantial amount of money from my Grandma and neglected to pay her back. This was about 20 years ago now, and guess what? Whenever my uncles name is mentioned around my Grandma, you can see her slowly clench her fist. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but my Grandma still to this day mentions my uncle in a negative light.
So that is why I don't lend out money to friends or family. Better to say no at the beginning than to destroy a relationship.
What is your money lending rule? And no, you can't borrow $20…
He is not much of a friend by putting you on the spot like that in an asian micro of all places....especially if this is a place you frequent regularly.
Well said Al
I do not lend anyone money anymore and this is due to being burned by a now ex friend.....I had lent him a substantial amount of money in the past and it was paid back in full and on time....the second time I lent him money he burned me....when the loan was due he said he did not have the cash and that he had not been working.....yet he had money to blow at the casinos during the year that the loan was taken out.
If some asks me to borrow money I tell them I am not a bank.
SR
If a friend needed money and I could afford to provide it for them I would GIVE it to them never expecting to get it back. If I did get it back great, if not, well I never planned to anyways, I was happy to help them out in a time of need. Unfortunately money can bring out the worst in people so I try to avoid borrowing from or lending to friends.
If i have the extra money i lend it out, but not large ammounts(unless it's immediate family.) Also there's no three strikes with me,i'll ask once to remind that person & if there's an excuse , or its not paid back, don't bother asking me for money ever again.
Karma
If it's a family member or close friend, I have no problem whatsoever.
I'm not saying I'm rich but I do not like people I know in trouble and if I can help out so be it. There's no crime in leading or giving people money but like the previous member says, 3rd, 4th & 5th time gets too much.
I believe in karma even though I don't expect it. :nod:
If it's a family member or close friend, I have no problem whatsoever.
I'm not saying I'm rich but I do not like people I know in trouble and if I can help out so be it. There's no crime in leading or giving people money but like the previous member says, 3rd, 4th & 5th time gets too much.
I believe in karma even though I don't expect it. :nod:
I keep getting e-mails from a guy in Nigeria wanting money, but I'll get paid back millions. Now that's a real friend.
A friend asked for a $700 loan. I told him I'd only lend the money if he understood i was a bit weird about money and if he didn't pay it back by the agreed upon date, it would ruin our friendship. He paid half of it back early. The rest came in bits months late after many reminders. He figured the fact he was early with part of it meant it would hive him some leeway.
It didn't and we're no longer friends.
I should have also stipulated I wanted it returned in one lump sum.
It didn't and we're no longer friends.
I should have also stipulated I wanted it returned in one lump sum.
Usually if some one asks me for money .. i seem to know before hand that they need it.. If I can spare it i will give it to them some time i say i would like it back , but i know i seldom ill get re-payed .
Some say they will pay me back but i know they can.t .. . So If i give people money i accept that it is gone and hope it helped them out at the time .
I am all ways illing to share what i have with people that i am Friends with , i have been given much ,opportunities , chances and money And also i have spent and wasted so much money that it few hundred i give to others fulfills their needs at the moment then i have done some thing good with that money.
I know it is not always a good thing , because other become dependent on borrowing money and not looking to find a way to make it by working and other times there really is no chose..
If I can help them out in some other way , other then giving them money ,I rather do that. then it is just less of a burden on my friendship with them and my fiances.
It has only been a hand full of people that have ask me for money . most escort that I saw and were friendly with , and considering that i pay $250 TO $500
to see one for an hour or so,, or drop that much money at the casino some times ,or even have lost thousands on the stock market .. . I feel a lot better giving it to them .
Of course hen i don't have it i have to say no , i can't help you out right now.
Some say they will pay me back but i know they can.t .. . So If i give people money i accept that it is gone and hope it helped them out at the time .
I am all ways illing to share what i have with people that i am Friends with , i have been given much ,opportunities , chances and money And also i have spent and wasted so much money that it few hundred i give to others fulfills their needs at the moment then i have done some thing good with that money.
I know it is not always a good thing , because other become dependent on borrowing money and not looking to find a way to make it by working and other times there really is no chose..
If I can help them out in some other way , other then giving them money ,I rather do that. then it is just less of a burden on my friendship with them and my fiances.
It has only been a hand full of people that have ask me for money . most escort that I saw and were friendly with , and considering that i pay $250 TO $500
to see one for an hour or so,, or drop that much money at the casino some times ,or even have lost thousands on the stock market .. . I feel a lot better giving it to them .
Of course hen i don't have it i have to say no , i can't help you out right now.
Either than covering for someone for a meal, I never lend money. Of course, not that I can anyways, since I'm broke, lol.
But would I actually lend money to a friend, I guess it depends on what's the reason and how much.
A friend is short a few bucks when hanging out and drinking/eating/etc... no prob. Need quick cash because pet needs emergency surgery.... no prob. That person wants to borrow money for new pair of pants..... "Sorry, I don't have any money to lend..."
But would I actually lend money to a friend, I guess it depends on what's the reason and how much.
A friend is short a few bucks when hanging out and drinking/eating/etc... no prob. Need quick cash because pet needs emergency surgery.... no prob. That person wants to borrow money for new pair of pants..... "Sorry, I don't have any money to lend..."
I never lend to friends, as I consider it a gift. Most of the time don't really expect it returned, but sometimes life surprises me.
I can tell of two times when I lent money and got stung:
1) I was 17 and working at a part-time job. A co-worker comes up to me and says "Cruiser, I need to pay this guy off..I owe him $80. Can you give me $80 and I'll pay back next pay day." I reluctantly gave him the money. We were paid weekly at this job and so I thought for sure I would see the money. I never did see it.
2) I was in late 20's...A co-worker comes up and says that she asks to borrow $150. In this case she gives me a post-dated cheque. Pay day was about a week away. Well, between the time I gave her the money and pay day, she quit the company. I thought, well, at least I have her cheque. It turns out the cheque bounced. So what do I do...I go search through the phone book to find her. I didn't find her, but found her father (her parents were divorced). Her father gets a hold of her and within a day I had $160 back.....she gave me $10 for my troubles.
Right now, the most I would lend out is $20. Lend out what you can afford to lose. Where I work we make good money and the people I know are doing ok, so I'm lucky no ones knocking on my door looking for money.
Cruiser
1) I was 17 and working at a part-time job. A co-worker comes up to me and says "Cruiser, I need to pay this guy off..I owe him $80. Can you give me $80 and I'll pay back next pay day." I reluctantly gave him the money. We were paid weekly at this job and so I thought for sure I would see the money. I never did see it.
2) I was in late 20's...A co-worker comes up and says that she asks to borrow $150. In this case she gives me a post-dated cheque. Pay day was about a week away. Well, between the time I gave her the money and pay day, she quit the company. I thought, well, at least I have her cheque. It turns out the cheque bounced. So what do I do...I go search through the phone book to find her. I didn't find her, but found her father (her parents were divorced). Her father gets a hold of her and within a day I had $160 back.....she gave me $10 for my troubles.
Right now, the most I would lend out is $20. Lend out what you can afford to lose. Where I work we make good money and the people I know are doing ok, so I'm lucky no ones knocking on my door looking for money.
Cruiser
a buddy of mine, who had unfortunately succombed to the effects of alcohol (long story with a war involved) asked for a loan of a hun one day. i used to carry one in my wallet all the time 'just in case' ( just in case you know what!!) i figured the hun was a goner for sure, so imagine my surprise when he called me up a couple of weeks later to get together to give me back my hun
that started a long series of loans and paybacks with him, it just kind of became a habit but it was a good way to keep in touch with him
then he up and died on me - owing me a hun!!! i still smile about that and remember him with kind memories lol
that started a long series of loans and paybacks with him, it just kind of became a habit but it was a good way to keep in touch with him
then he up and died on me - owing me a hun!!! i still smile about that and remember him with kind memories lol
You too? You mean we have a common friend? That is so cool. We must go out and celebrate when we receive our gigantic paypack. : )
As for LittleAsianGuy's post, by now you should have a general consensus of what people think about money and "lending" money.
Assess your emotional connection to money itself and don't be taken advantage for your generosity. Validate what and where the money goes to.
Peace.
Why would you have even gone to the micro in the first place with someone who didn't have the cash on hand to be there? If you were taking this acquaintence with you for the first time like a referral, you sure wouldn't have come off well to the micro managers.
Next time you'll know to make sure your "friends" are prepared with the fee.
With the info given, I'd just assume he didn't have cash on hand, but was already there. Had he been forewarned, he'd have probably hit up an ATM before going there rather than LAG.
Next time you'll know to make sure your "friends" are prepared with the fee.
With the info given, I'd just assume he didn't have cash on hand, but was already there. Had he been forewarned, he'd have probably hit up an ATM before going there rather than LAG.
Lending money to true friends or family can and has lead to problems for me. I just won't loan anymore $$ and if the bank won't cover them, how am I to get repayment?
Now if I give any money it is exactly that, a 'gift' without looking for repayment ever. I am pleasantly surprised if I get the money back or invited out to dinner on them
LAG I think your acquaintance was being overly familiar with you before heading to the micro. He should have asked to stop at an ATM instead of trying to hit you up.
This is a funny story to me:
I loaned a guy that I hardly know at all US$100 back when our $ was worth $0.60 vs USD. He was making >$300K a year so I knew he was good for it, so I thought. After two months of asking for it back, he turned to me and told me to F**k my $$ and kiss it good bye.
Then out of the blue, he had to attend a meeting with me in Van. After the meeting, he asked me for a ride to the airport and he need to get there quick or he would miss his flight.
I took him down Granville Street and saw a TD bank and I pulled over and told him this is as far as I am going and he was to get me $100 US now.
He was mad as hell, went to the ATM and got me C$100. Told him, nope, not good enough, its $140. Back to the ATM for the other $40. Red in the face and spitting mad all the way to the airport with me laughing my face off the whole way!
Even though it was a PITA at the time, I still smile over that story.
Now if I give any money it is exactly that, a 'gift' without looking for repayment ever. I am pleasantly surprised if I get the money back or invited out to dinner on them
LAG I think your acquaintance was being overly familiar with you before heading to the micro. He should have asked to stop at an ATM instead of trying to hit you up.
This is a funny story to me:
I loaned a guy that I hardly know at all US$100 back when our $ was worth $0.60 vs USD. He was making >$300K a year so I knew he was good for it, so I thought. After two months of asking for it back, he turned to me and told me to F**k my $$ and kiss it good bye.
Then out of the blue, he had to attend a meeting with me in Van. After the meeting, he asked me for a ride to the airport and he need to get there quick or he would miss his flight.
I took him down Granville Street and saw a TD bank and I pulled over and told him this is as far as I am going and he was to get me $100 US now.
He was mad as hell, went to the ATM and got me C$100. Told him, nope, not good enough, its $140. Back to the ATM for the other $40. Red in the face and spitting mad all the way to the airport with me laughing my face off the whole way!
Even though it was a PITA at the time, I still smile over that story.
