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My daughter is in Massage Business and I am Heartbroken...

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treasure

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Apr 23, 2005
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I just recently found out my daughter was working in a MP. This was something that I could not believe, how could any mother. She is my daughter that I raised from an infant to the women she is today. This is the same little girl that until age 12 would sneak into my room with her quilt to sleep beside her parents. THis is the little girl that would collect frogs, worms and bring home sick birds. The last 2 years she seems to of turned cold and hard now I know why. I thought it was because she was tired from her second job but never dreamed this was the second job. No one will ever care about her the way I do or care about her soul that is being taken away bit by bit. No amount of money is ever worth her soul. I will always love her but cannot accept this lifestyle. I know when she is all broken and used up she will come to me broken and alone and how will I be able to fix what is left. I wish she could see herself in the future. She is a mom, what about her child. This lifestyle will cost her and her child in the future, I wish she would see that but the lure of money is VERY POWERFUL, how sad. This hurts more than anything you could imagine. I know her regular job does not give her all she want but is it worth selling her soul for stuff. I wish I could wake up to find this is all a bad dream.
 

mick_eight

Banned
Feb 22, 2005
1,200
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It.s the way you look at life,she is doing it for whatever reason she has and you are trying to control her life when you should be worring about your own reasons for having this negative view about sps and what they do,your soul should be the one you should be working on. Ps.If you talk about souls how about being a christan and love your fellow souls
 

tom25

what's up doc?
Oct 8, 2003
1,216
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Winnipeg
Treasure ... I understand how you feel. I have a daughter and I'd be quite upset if I found out that she was working at a mp. How upset you should be, though, may depend on why she's working there and what she's using the money for.

I know many sp's who have their heads on right, and are loving and responsible parents. Its not the job choice you or I would make, but its one they made. Frankly sometimes I wonder why they did, because every one of the ladies I see are bright, intelligent, resourceful women that you could just as easily imagine in a classroom, or a doctor's or lawyer's office. Many are actually going back to school.

Having said that, there are some girls who get into the business and get hooked on drugs. I see there being three main worries that you should have:

1) STD's ... I hope she's engaging in safe practises at all times.
2) abusive customers ... they do exist and girls can sometimes be at risk. Working at a parlour actually does increase her security somewhat. However, it may increase her exposure to worry number 3 which is
3) drugs.

At the end of the day you have to remember that she's still your daughter and the same person she has always been. Yes, doing this for a living will change her. Every life choice changes people. Whether for better or worse depends on the person and the supports they have in life. IF you're there for her, hopefully this won't be the negative experience for her that you fear. If you're not, it certainly increases the likelihood that it could be.

Don't be too judgemental. If you read through this board you will see that there is a huge range of the types of people that make use of SP and MP services. Most of us are pretty decent guys (then there's bigdee :rolleyes: ). We use these services for a variety of reasons. Some are single guys who don't like the dating scene, or who have jobs that don't allow themselves time for dating. Others are married with kids who, for whatever reason, don't want to leave their partner and families but are sexually unsatisfied. I treat the ladies I see as if they were dear, dear friends in my life. And I know that many of the guys on this board do the same.

Similarly, the ladies stories are just as varied. I must say, though, that I haven't met a single lady in this hobby that I wouldn't hesitate to bring home to a family function. There is nothing about them that screams "WHORE". They are fine people and outside the workplace they look and act like anyone else. They're just in an occupation that mainstream society doesn't generally accept. Its hard, but try not to be too judgemental and be open to her reasons for why she does this.

At the end of the day you still want your daughter in your life.

Tom
 

TOMMYG

Member
Apr 11, 2005
77
4
8
respect

It is very difficult to accept that your daughter is working at a massage parlor. There is another way of seeing this that I think might help ease the way you feel about people working as an SP. From the stuff I read on this board, the girls are highly respected and I would even say loved by the people who visit them. For me, I am greatful that I have a chance to be with beauty, caring person even just for an hour. It is not just about sex, it is about getting away from reality, it's a fantacy. I know there are a few girls that are single mothers, and all of them are willing to do anything for there children. I have a greater respect for them knowing that they would sacrifice for their children. I would guess the reason that you post here is to easy your own soul, but you can be assured that pretty much everybody that posts on this board will never take advantage of your daughter.

"Show her your support"
 

webguy

Regular Guy
Feb 5, 2005
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Edmonton
a PERSONAL moral issue

THis is an issue of comparative morality. Society says it's ok to live with someone and not be married.... so it's ok. Society says it's ok to smoke... so it's ok.

I think you should be proud of your daughter. You raised a woman who steps above and beyond the mold society places people in.

Don't be upset that she isn't a doctor, or a veternarian or works at Tim Horton's... She isn't selling off her soul, or any other dramatic "movie stereoypes". She isn't on the street doing it to support a crack habbit or because her pimp is beating her up.

It's a job.
A lucrative job.

It's you who has a problem with it, not her. And certainly not anyone on this board.

How about being a good dad and giving her some support. Maybe she will start a thread saying:

"I'm so heartbroken- may family says they love me but have attached conditions to that love"

And dear heartbroken dad,

.... ever been to a strip club?
Do you smoke?
ever drive while under the influence?
when was the last time you went to church, or talked to god?
Ever had anal sex?

Get off your high horse and love your daughter- don't you dare ruin her life cause you think she would be better off working at Timmy's.

my 2 cents
 

tom25

what's up doc?
Oct 8, 2003
1,216
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hey webguy ... it was her mother that posted!! But I don't think it changes the sentiment of your post at all.

Tom
 

paigesplaymate

New member
Mar 3, 2004
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webguy said:
THis is an issue of comparative morality. Society says it's ok to live with someone and not be married.... so it's ok. Society says it's ok to smoke... so it's ok.

I think you should be proud of your daughter. You raised a woman who steps above and beyond the mold society places people in.

Don't be upset that she isn't a doctor, or a veternarian or works at Tim Horton's... She isn't selling off her soul, or any other dramatic "movie stereoypes". She isn't on the street doing it to support a crack habbit or because her pimp is beating her up.

It's a job.
A lucrative job.

It's you who has a problem with it, not her. And certainly not anyone on this board.

How about being a good dad and giving her some support. Maybe she will start a thread saying:

"I'm so heartbroken- may family says they love me but have attached conditions to that love"

And dear heartbroken dad,

.... ever been to a strip club?
Do you smoke?
ever drive while under the influence?
when was the last time you went to church, or talked to god?
Ever had anal sex?

Get off your high horse and love your daughter- don't you dare ruin her life cause you think she would be better off working at Timmy's.

my 2 cents
Blunt and to the point, I really hope this guy doesnt make her feel ashamed for what she does. Its great to think a lady is strong enough to be open with her family at what she does. I know when I told my family they seen through blinders. Once told and explained what really happens even my 80 year old grandfather is supportive.
If my redneck old fashion family can be supportive, I think guy just might have a chance....
 

O-Shoes

New member
Dec 6, 2004
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You should look at what drove her to being there in the first place. Do some research and you will see why a very high percentage of girls become Service Providers.

I'm not saying this is the case in your daughters situation but you may want to ask the question someday>>>
 

ace85

Banned
Jan 30, 2004
741
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Wow

Big Dee you are a classy guy.

I am not sure why the mother would post here. Not a sympathetic audience.

Of course this board is made up of men who pay for sex and then hope to find a girl willing to start a shower for him, lick his feet and dry him off, pretend like he is the king, and do it willingly for $150.

She isn't selling her sole when she is with you, just all the other guys right.

I think it is interesting that the customers really don't get that there are alot of these girls that pretend to love their job, and really struggle with it intenally.

I think most of the customers, if they really think about it are hoping that the girls really do love their job.

For some customers it is a hobby, others an addiction, but it is a selfish and very personal hobby and addiciton, that people don't really think about.

It is funny that this board is so popular. As it it mostly anonymous. There are some who get the business, some who don't. It is a business after all, that is why Big Dee the girls won't do you for free.
 

Gruss-ly

Up standing member
Jul 15, 2004
140
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YVR
www.awpi.com
Support her

treasure said:
The last 2 years she seems to of turned cold and hard now I know why.

This often happens when one is tuned into the harsher realities of life. I have 3 friends who during a similar time period also turned " cold, hard and quite cynical.... 2 are police officers and 1 is an ambulance attendant. There are many routes to cynicism... some more respected by society than others. All these routes can be softened somewhat with a display of warmth, love and understanding. This more than anything you as a parent can give to your child. Support her and give her as much love and affection as you are able to whilst allowing her to make her own choices. Ultimately it is her life to lead and her path to follow. And yes I am a parent.

G
 

Vienna

New member
Dec 1, 2004
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www.viennamazza.com
All I've got to say is that this job isn't a forever job for me. At the moment, I don't find that my soul is being taken away from me. I'm using this job as a stepping stone as well as a learning experience. I, along with many other SP's whom I've worked with seem to know what our goals and dreams are. In anything you have to have ambition. Some do have drug addictions, but I've also worked many "square" jobs where I've heard the same problems with certain substance abuse. Hmmmm "each to their own" I guess :cool:
 

farmacyst

been there, done that
Nov 9, 2003
161
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vancouver
every SP is someones daughter. From high end to crack hoes . They all have a story to tell. From vancouver to asia where some fathers/mothers sell their daughters into the trade. It is still the oldest profession.

It is the world that we live in . Governed by supply & demand and the lack of humanity in humans.

Now how about talking about home invasions, random acts of violence, robbing old ladies, drunk driving, rape, robbery, ..... what else makes us human?
 

tom25

what's up doc?
Oct 8, 2003
1,216
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Winnipeg
Sorry Kurrupt ... no, I thought your post was very helpful. I was referring directly to Bigdee and had quoted him. But Modwest -- good move by the way Modwest -- decided to remove both Bigdee's original comment and my quote of it.

No slight at you at all.

Tom
 

Avery

Gentleman Horndog
Jul 8, 2003
4,848
2
38
Winnipeg
I recently had a delightful time with an incall, FS escort in Winnipeg. She told me that her mother is fully aware of how she is earning money to put herself through university.

In fact, when her mother saw how well her daughter was living on what should have been a poverty-level income, she guessed correctly how her daughter was doing it. Her daughter admitted it, and her mother said that she should have done that too when she was in a similar situation in her younger days.

I'll bet she and her mother are very close. Treasure, no one can make you approve of your daughter's choice, but you really need to keep the lines of communication open. Don't isolate and alienate your daughter.
 

stryker

Banned
Jan 23, 2004
1,964
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In your dreams
hitman.us
ModWest said:
Kurrupt,

Tom was referring to a post from bigdee, I missed that part from his post when editing out bigdee's comments

on a related note bigdee has been banned for two weeks because of his comments in this thread

ModWest
It's a damed good thing I went for a Putt after reading that post he made or I'm sure I would have been banned for my response,,,,Cheers ModWest!

Treasure,I can understand your thoughts and feelings,as I have seen many many girls start for one reason or another,the most common reason was for the money to get ahead and make a better life for them self,,,,,,unfortunatly,money plays a big part in the picture.
 
May 2, 2005
234
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the boulevard
O-Shoes said:
You should look at what drove her to being there in the first place. Do some research and you will see why a very high percentage of girls become Service Providers.

I'm not saying this is the case in your daughters situation but you may want to ask the question someday>>>
I don't know if this is what you are getting at,but I read somewhere that it's like 90% of prostitutes were victims of abuse as children,this is rather disheartening.
 

threepeat

New member
Sep 20, 2004
947
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Edmonton
Treasure, you have my sympathies, though I don't know enough about the situation to comment on the underlying reasons for her career choice.

However, I will just add this: if she is actively saving a ton of money and is saving for the future, don't worry about her because she has a good head on her shoulders. If she seems barely able to maintain her current lifestyle while working in massage, then I see big problems.

In my opinion, prostitution isn't horrible in and of itself, but the social stigma combined with the types of people that one CAN meet in the business are the reasons I would not want anyone in my close circle doing it. If your daughter can stay on the right side of the tracks (and there is a right side of the tracks, even in prostitution), she will be OK.

Good luck to you...
 

tom25

what's up doc?
Oct 8, 2003
1,216
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Winnipeg
crenshawmcgraw said:
I don't know if this is what you are getting at,but I read somewhere that it's like 90% of prostitutes were victims of abuse as children,this is rather disheartening.
I suspect these statistics are referring to streetwalkers. Many studies don't distinguish between SWs, MPAs and escorts and most don't even look at the latter two categories.

Tom
 

wolverine

Hard Throbbing Member
Nov 12, 2002
6,394
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Interesting comments. But the one thing that really has me thinking is this: many of you are basically saying, "we love and respect SPs, but we wouldn't want our daughter/girlfriend to become one".

Do any of you ever struggle internally within yourselves with what seems to be two contradicting attitudes? That we as pooners must cope with a strong social stigma against the sex industry, and yet we apply that same stigma upon those closest to us? Or perhaps it's because of those stigmas applied by those who ask about the well-being of your daughter (former teachers, friends, the boss, co-workers, priest, etc)?

The above is not intended as a flame to anyone. It's something to think about, and worthy of discussion and debate.
 
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