Married SP's

[Oh_Claire]

I was bored one day and started thinking. (as usual)
What about SP's that are married?

You don't hear about it that often, but I was wondering what happens when an SP is or gets married? Does this effect the relationship with the gentlemen? How so and how much?

I know that one big fantasy of seeing a beautiful girl is being able to be with her. Something more realistic if a girl isn't married... right?
Is it sexy if an SP is married? Like, a real fling or affair?
Or is it a fantasy basher, a bubble burster?

Do you think if an SP is married, it would be best to take off the ring and pretend she's not? Or does it matter?

Obviously hobbysists that are married is commun, sometimes it's mentioned but usually not. So the moral value seems to be even at this point... but I'm thinking about the fantasy factor.

Ok, I lied. What about the "moral value" like, say, Girly LeChick is getting married at the age of 20something or 30something. She's an SP and enjoys it, so she doesn't quit. But now she's married. Hubby doesn't know... Is this bad? Any opinions guys?
If you found out your fav SP was married would you cease visits?
How would this make you feel?

Im not saying that Girly LeChick is going to stop talking to you, after all, she loves the hobby and doesn't plan on quitting. But would you prefer to keep it under wraps, Matrix style? (the world you don't know about doesn't matter, eat the juicy steak and enjoy the fantasy world created just for you)
OR would you feel betrayed by such a big secret?

How old do you think a girl should be before she gets married anyways? Is 25 too young? Is under 30 too young?

Never???

Do you think an SP should be single, just for her own and your good?

Any ideas guys? Just curious.

 

[felix29]

I was bored one day and started thinking. (as usual)
What about SP's that are married?

You don't hear about it that often, but I was wondering what happens when an SP is or gets married? Does this effect the relationship with the gentlemen? How so and how much?

I know that one big fantasy of seeing a beautiful girl is being able to be with her. Something more realistic if a girl isn't married... right?
Is it sexy if an SP is married? Like, a real fling or affair?
Or is it a fantasy basher, a bubble burster?

Not knowing she is married would be better for me personally. Keeps the fantasy alive.

Do you think if an SP is married, it would be best to take off the ring and pretend she's not? Or does it matter?

I would take the ring off for safety reasons, you wouldnt want to lose it during an encounter/

Obviously hobbysists that are married is commun, sometimes it's mentioned but usually not. So the moral value seems to be even at this point... but I'm thinking about the fantasy factor.

Ok, I lied. What about the "moral value" like, say, Girly LeChick is getting married at the age of 20something or 30something. She's an SP and enjoys it, so she doesn't quit. But now she's married. Hubby doesn't know... Is this bad? Any opinions guys?

It would be bad because of the possiblity of hubby finding out. So in this case either let hubby know before marriage, or give it up if you want the marriage to last. If he cant accept it before marriage he is unlikely to accept it after marriage.

If you found out your fav SP was married would you cease visits?
How would this make you feel?

Im not saying that Girly LeChick is going to stop talking to you, after all, she loves the hobby and doesn't plan on quitting. But would you prefer to keep it under wraps, Matrix style? (the world you don't know about doesn't matter, eat the juicy steak and enjoy the fantasy world created just for you)
OR would you feel betrayed by such a big secret?

Not betrayal but a feeling of akwardness may arise from knowing.

How old do you think a girl should be before she gets married anyways? Is 25 too young? Is under 30 too young?

Never???

Do you think an SP should be single, just for her own and your good?

Any ideas guys? Just curious.

The time a girl should be married is when she is ready for it. When she has found the person that she wants to be with for the rest of her life and accepts that decisions for trips, money and lifestyle should be then made with the input of another.

If an SP can find a guy who accepts that she is an SP, great, no need to be single. The customers good in this case is meaningless, it is your personal life, not your SP persona

 

[big k]

I'd have no problem with a married SP its the time I'm spending
with her thats important not the marital status. I'm under no illusion
or fantasy that "She can be mine"
As far as getting married and not telling your new spouse what you do
would probably be a disaster.There are too many guys on the edge that
could flip and hurt you or worse if they discovered that little secret.

As far as getting married-from personal experience 25 is too young
we haven't lived enough or developed into who we ultimately are
going to be by then. You get married and both parties change and you
say I don't want to be here the rest of my life.Wait till your thirty then
you'll have a better chance and remember never get married hoping the
other person will change,it NEVER happens. What you see is what you get
make your decision with that in mind.

Oh Claire between your reviews and your intelligent posts I'm definitely
going to have to look you up next time I'm in Calgary.

Big K

 

[Smoky]

I don't know if i should be asking how or maybe why would anyone marry someone else and keep something like working as an SP as secret? HOLY SHIT!! Talk about a secret too.
What happens when or if she gets sick or pragnent? Don't you girls know that the doctor will be asking some pretty sensitive questions and quite possibly your spouse or significant other will be there?
As for us clients, who gives a care? We're not here because your single, engaged, married, or gay for that matter. Lie to your clients, chances are they are lying to you.

 

[peter_t1111]

Interesting question ...

My guess is that, if you wanted to continue on with your hobby after getting married, you'd probably want (have?) to keep it on the up and up. You sound like someone who's passionate about what she does -- maybe you could find someone who respects your "outside interests" and is willing to share (at least part) of your affections.

On the other hand, maybe not. You're obviously incredibly attractive -- and it's unlikely that a mate could look the other way. Don't get into a situation where a guy gets possessive and could end up hurting you.

My advice: have fun while you're young, and don't consider making a long-term commitment unless it truly fits with what you want out of life. There's no magic "right" age for getting married -- you'll know if you ever reach that point.

Take care ...

 

[JMBrowning]

It's an interesting question...

There's no clear answer as it depends a lot on both parties... the SP and the husband or fiance. Will the husband be OK with it? Will the SP tell her husband or fiance what she's doing? Does the husband need to know?

BTW, Claire, are you going to get married?

 

[Oh_Claire]

Don't worry guys I am so far from being married, have no fear!

Like I said, I was just bored...

 

[Teal]

they say.........

Statistics have it that a married man lives longer than a single man.... so guys........if you want a long slow death.... get married . LMAO!.. KIDDING!.. its early a.m. what can I say?.... **goes back to her coffee**

 

[youngninnocent]

^

Why do men die before women?

Because we want too.

 

[American Male]

If I were the spouse of an SP and did not know that she was an SP at the time of the wedding, I would certainly feel betrayed when that info became known to me. There is the implication that marriage equals monogomy. That does not have to be the case, IF the couple agrees that it is not the case. But that is a matter of agreement and both parties must know ALL the facts for there to be the basic agreement.

If my finance sat me down one day long before the wedding and said, "Honey, I want to be honest and tell you how I make my money...." then we have the potential to have a open and honest relationship. It is not an automatic that I or other men would want her to quit the business. I think I might personally feel the tug in that direction, but I am not certain. I think if she stopped being a "full-time" escort (whatever being full-time means) and cut back to some sort of "part-time" status might be better. Perhaps reducing the number of clients to a very small number might also be good. Maybe her seeing clients only 3 or 4 days a week would be part of our understanding as a couple. I honestly do not know.

There would obviously need to be some sort of agreement about my continuing as a hobbyist, as well. Again, smaller number of SP that I see and far less often would also seem in order. Whatever I think I can ask of her in her business, she has every right to ask of me in my hobby. Reciprocity is definately in rule of the day in this situation.

The worst scenario would be getting married and then, after a period of time has passed, to discover that she is an escort, especially if I do not find out from her. That would feel like a cold-hearted betrayal, to me, and the marriage would be over at that moment.

 

[Oh_Claire]

Well guys, it's apparant that most of you agree that an SP should not be wed without informing her hubby.

But I don't know of any hobbyist that would inform the wifey about the hobby, so it confuses me, how does that balance out?

As far as I'm concerned, what you dont know won't hurt you. (i'm talking about truth/lies not AIDS, obviously that would kill you)

although it might be the worst thing you could do for a relationship, "honey, i pay/have paid for sex"

and so you keep it hush hush and to you it makes sense not to tell her, why does she need to know?
And on the other side of the coin, we have the girl who's man is ignorant or naive, and she comes out and says
"I accept/have accepted money for sex"

so, in both cases perhaps its wrong. but what about your needs? as a hobbyist, someone who wants something fun, quick, discreet, no strings? or if you are married, maybe ur partner isn't doing it for you. It's not a question of love, just a physical need.
Can't it go both ways?

Why would it be so wrong for the SP to do what the hobbyist does?

 

[Chantal]

My Opinion

I feel that woman live longer than man because we are definetly stronger.I am not being sexist "At All" We start off with puberty,hormones,child rearing.PMS("Putting up with Men Shit") Keeping them happy,then menopause which I hear is sheer "HELL"..I also heard a quote.."That if the Queen of the Household Breaks Down" ... "The Whole House Will Break Down" again you get what you put in any relationship..Women also speak 2000 words more than men so they get more off their chest,and men tend to supress which creates "illness" only a observation..ChantalThis is answer to the question "Why do women live longer than men?"

 

[Avery]

No, the answer is in this old joke:

Q: Why do most men die before their wives?

A: Because they want to.

 

[JMBrowning]

Well guys, it's apparant that most of you agree that an SP should not be wed without informing her hubby.

But I don't know of any hobbyist that would inform the wifey about the hobby, so it confuses me, how does that balance out?

As far as I'm concerned, what you dont know won't hurt you. (i'm talking about truth/lies not AIDS, obviously that would kill you)

although it might be the worst thing you could do for a relationship, "honey, i pay/have paid for sex"

and so you keep it hush hush and to you it makes sense not to tell her, why does she need to know?
And on the other side of the coin, we have the girl who's man is ignorant or naive, and she comes out and says
"I accept/have accepted money for sex"

so, in both cases perhaps its wrong. but what about your needs? as a hobbyist, someone who wants something fun, quick, discreet, no strings? or if you are married, maybe ur partner isn't doing it for you. It's not a question of love, just a physical need.
Can't it go both ways?

Why would it be so wrong for the SP to do what the hobbyist does?

Claire,

forgive if I ask you the following questions:

Do you have an S.O.?

If yes, does he know that you're an SP and How does he feel about that?

Also, how would you feel if he's seeing SPs behind your back?

When it comes to physical needs, will you do it if you and your SO stop having sex? or viceversa.


The answer to all of your questions essentially it's up to the couple and their own understanding or agreement and most importantly, trust. If you have an open relationship with your SO, then that's fine. That's what I'm doing and I stop when my SO is tired and don't want to continue an open relationship.

If the SP or the SO (esp. a husband) goes behind each other's back, there'll be a lot of of risks, either one can loose a lot.

I answered with questions in my first post of this thread because you cannot generalize SPs and SOs. They are basically people and people will always be different from one another (not all SPs are alike, not all SOs are alike either).

 

[American Male]

Well guys, it's apparant that most of you agree that an SP should not be wed without informing her hubby.

But I don't know of any hobbyist that would inform the wifey about the hobby, so it confuses me, how does that balance out?

I would inform my fiance that I plan to stay in the hobby after we marry. You are right, Claire. This is a case of "what's good for the goose is good for the gander." If I want her to tell me, then I am also obliged to tell her. I think your intuitions are absolutely right.

If, however, we both plan on quitting extracurricular activities after the wedding ceremony, then I don't see any particular need for either one of us to be too forthcoming about our respective histories.

 

[felix29]

Well guys, it's apparant that most of you agree that an SP should not be wed without informing her hubby.

But I don't know of any hobbyist that would inform the wifey about the hobby, so it confuses me, how does that balance out?

As far as I'm concerned, what you dont know won't hurt you. (i'm talking about truth/lies not AIDS, obviously that would kill you)

although it might be the worst thing you could do for a relationship, "honey, i pay/have paid for sex"

and so you keep it hush hush and to you it makes sense not to tell her, why does she need to know?
And on the other side of the coin, we have the girl who's man is ignorant or naive, and she comes out and says
"I accept/have accepted money for sex"

so, in both cases perhaps its wrong. but what about your needs? as a hobbyist, someone who wants something fun, quick, discreet, no strings? or if you are married, maybe ur partner isn't doing it for you. It's not a question of love, just a physical need.
Can't it go both ways?

Why would it be so wrong for the SP to do what the hobbyist does?

It boils down to the chance of getting caught, a married man who occasionally sees an escort I believe would have a lesser chance of getting caught then a SP who stayed in the business after marriage.

It is that chance of getting caught that means an SP should probably tell her future husband. If after two years of marriage, the hubby found out, he may decide to separate.

If you could absolutely keep it a secret from your husband, then no worry's

 

[Oh_Claire]

good replies

PS - I AM NOT MARRIED!

 

[JMBrowning]

good replies

PS - I AM NOT MARRIED!

But do you an S.O. (boyfriend, girlfriend)?

How would they feel about you being an SP and how would you feel about them seeing SPs?

 

[Oh_Claire]

any time I"ve had relationships I've kept it a secret. I think that anybody would react in a negative fashion, your wife, my SO, whatever?

I don't like to talk about it because as sad as it is to say not everyone has the same mentality towards sex. A lot of people will disrespect people like those who chat in these forums
it's sad, but true.

Also I hate the jealousy/control thing that most guys have, can you imagine how jealous a man would get if he knew he was having to share? especially if there was love in the air?

My "job" has never affected my feelings or sex life in my private life, and I'd rather it stayed seperate whether my relationship was a one night stand or a 5 year engagement. or whatever.
I don't think I could ever tell someone I was dating about what I do, nor do I think I could confess my current lifestyle to someone I wanted to marry 20 years down the road, I mean, why hurt his feelings if he doesn't need to know?
Why ruin it?

I am young yet, so I have a lot of living and learning to do. Who knows, maybe when I get older and get into a situation, my thoughts will change.

 

[JMBrowning]

any time I"ve had relationships I've kept it a secret. I think that anybody would react in a negative fashion, your wife, my SO, whatever?

True... that is why my S.O. and I have an open relationship. She knows I poon with SPs and civvies just like I know she is pooning with other people, but the moment that she don't wanna continue with it and wanna stay monogamous with me, I will also stop pooning and spend my time only with her.

I don't like to talk about it because as sad as it is to say not everyone has the same mentality towards sex. A lot of people will disrespect people like those who chat in these forums
it's sad, but true.

Agree... but yet, you brought up the subject of married SPs. This also brings the subject of having an SO working as an SP. So, my apologies if I am picking your brain regarding the subject.

Also I hate the jealousy/control thing that most guys have, can you imagine how jealous a man would get if he knew he was having to share? especially if there was love in the air?

How jealous will you get if your S.O. sees other SPs, especially SPs that are your friends? It's not just guys who have the jealousy/control thing, girls too.

My "job" has never affected my feelings or sex life in my private life, and I'd rather it stayed seperate whether my relationship was a one night stand or a 5 year engagement. or whatever.

What if whoever you're having a relationship with is also working as a SP or pooning with SPs behind your back? Won't that affect your feelings for that person?

I don't think I could ever tell someone I was dating about what I do, nor do I think I could confess my current lifestyle to someone I wanted to marry 20 years down the road, I mean, why hurt his feelings if he doesn't need to know?
Why ruin it?

All relationships is based on trust, don't ya agree?
This will be the big test on whether he truly loves you: Does he or Will he still love you for just who you are and not for what you did in the past?
Speaking of hurting his feelings if he doesn't need to know, what if that was you in that situation instead of him? Will you dump his ass to a curb?

I am young yet, so I have a lot of living and learning to do. Who knows, maybe when I get older and get into a situation, my thoughts will change.

Everyone has a lot of living and learning to do too, but if you still do the same things and they backfire, then you're just only living and not learning.

My 2 pences.