Karina Espinosa

Here's a question for you guys...

Lilith

Prescription Strength
Sep 25, 2003
134
0
0
Edmonton, Alberta
I've been wondering why it is that most men seem to be terrified of running into another man in an MP wether in the hallway on the way out, or the waiting room on the way in. Once when I was working a man came in to pick up his friend. He sat in the foyer by the front door. Another man came in and I asked if he would like to come in for a session. I was about to lead him into the studio when he looked over and saw the other man. He quikly stammered something about coming back later and RAN for the door. Why is this? Aren't you all there for the same thing? I've been curious about this since I started so any insight would be great.
 

jrmaginty

New member
Oct 5, 2003
55
0
0
Edmonton
I must be one of the minority. I've been using mp's services off and on for 20 years and admittedly, at first, I was like most men...terrified to be seen for fear of being found out. It wasn't until I was involved in my current relationship that I was able to overcome this. I no longer care or worry about being seen and I think the ONLY reason for that is because of the totally honest and open relationship I share with my s/o. If other men see me that I know...who cares, they are there for the exact same thing as I.
 

rockman

did i say rock?
Dec 19, 2002
13
0
0
North of Calgary a little bit.
Two words - invisible stigma

i.e., A token of infamy, disgrace, or reproach

Alternate example A: Loss of honor, respect, or reputation; shame.

Alternate example B: To bring shame upon; disgrace.

Alternate example C: The condition of being infamous.

Lilith

While board members openly converse about experiences within these electronic walls it's highly unlikely this conversation would ever be a topic amongst friends over a beer at the local watering hole, or elsewhere for that matter. The result would not be a "high five" more likely the result would be stigmatic as in shame, loss of honor, or reputation within that set of acquaintances. Unless all your friends are 14-17 years old boys, who would get off on the information and fantasize till the cows come home, you would have a problem in how people now perceive you in many social situations. But not everyone does this; there are some who honestly care, and others don't give a fuck about what you do with your life.

People generally are affected by stigma in different ways. Think for a moment that you were not in this business.

Now, let's say you knew the person sitting next to you eating their lunch spent most of their free time cruising the streets looking for teen girls to score blow-jobs, or frequented local MP's gaining sexual favors for cash ... your treatment of that person in the real world (even today) would be very different and likely not altogether normal (unacceptable). Because for whatever reason, in the back of your mind, what they are doing now would not be considered normal behavior within your class, your upbringing, or moral values.

Just as you might hide the knowledge of what you do for a living from friends, relatives etc, etc., for fear of the reprisals that information could cause. The guys who come to visit you need that same privacy. Privacy in some peoples lives is very, very important.

If privacy and discretion was never assured then some people's lives would and very likely could be ruined ... not so much from the outside, but from within that individual affecting how they feel about themselves when they become aware that things in their life or lifestyle, which otherwise is kept secret, suddenly sees the light of day.

Discretion is very important to some people, including me.

Many people pretend to be "cock of the walk" but deep down inside, no matter what they say ... they're scared shitless it's human nature.

A better question would have been ... why do bald guys wear hats?
 
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wolverine

Hard Throbbing Member
Nov 12, 2002
6,415
9
0
E-Town
Sometimes I'm wary when getting out of my car and walking into an MP. Who knows who else in the parking lot and watching me go in? But once inside the MP....we guys are there for the same reason, so who cares? If it's someone I know, then we have something to talk about over a beer later! If the guy I know has a significant other...I'd definitely want to chat with him. In either case, my friend and I would keep our pooning just between us and shut up about it in other company.
 

mandangalo

New member
Oct 27, 2003
13
0
0
i don't mind seeing other people and have even started chating in the waitng room. i don't think any one minded at the time but it is something i will watch for in the future.
sorry if i made anyone feel uncomfortable
 

dragon

New member
Oct 11, 2003
31
0
0
Edmonton
mp's make perfect sence to me...no head games, no bs.
The bar's can be quite a joke...besides if your getting some, no matter where......
Your not as apt to make a fool of yourself at ther bar or where ever....cause you have'nt gotten any in a while.

I was hesitant at first but now....no sweat.
I've also turned to of my friends to the dark side.....lol
 

Lilith

Prescription Strength
Sep 25, 2003
134
0
0
Edmonton, Alberta
I don't mean that you shouldn't be careful about talking about your hobby in the outside world, as I am careful of talking about my job. What I mean is, why be scared of guys once inside those walls? You are both there for the same reason. You are strangers. That is the aspect of it that perplexes me.
 
K

Kokoman

You ask a very good, but very complex question, Lilith. I've thought about it for some time before offering an answer. Despite our recent cultural advancements around sex, there remains an aura of shame and secrecy around sex, especially in North America and particularly around paying for it. And not without good reasons. Lives have been ruined because someone was caught soliciting or engaged in a sex transaction. Marriages destroyed, jobs lost and families enstranged. All because a man handed some cash to a woman for nature's work.

Even an individual's sexual life has an myst of secrecy enshrouding it. I find some women don't like to discuss it openly in fledgling relationships because it's too private or personal. Not everyone fits this description - some are completely open from the first few words. But, on balance, the social weight favors privacy and secrecy around sex.

Is it any wonder that many men face MPs with trepidation or even abject fear? What are they risking if they get caught in a sting, seen by a work associate or discovered by a family member? What might happen in their lives if a co-worker saw them leaving Heather's Heavenly House of Happiness with a sultry SP waving goodbye as she closes the door behind him. Whisperings and rumors could damage his reputation. Perhaps there's a quiet voice of conscience telling him that he shouldn't be there.

One of the contributing reasons for the societal attitude may be an underlying assumption that the women are forced into this line of work because they are destitute or being coerced. In this model, we, the customers, are contributing to the ongoing abuse and suffering of these women. If more and more of the general population realized that the vast majority of women are engaging freely and even enjoy making a career of providing sexual services, we may develop a system of laws that protect their rights to earn a living while protecting those who are perhaps being forced or coerced into a life that they didn't choose.

For many years I faced those fears and was extremely uncomfortable being seen by another man. I ventured into studios which took special efforts to protect me from the eyes of others. Many of the studios where I live (more nude modeling than massage), advertise that there system of entrance and egress will protect you from being seen by others.

Wouldn't it be nice if society didn't judge consenting adult sexual conduct? We're a ways from that state. In the meantime, I suppose it's up to us to take the lead and stop the cycle of shame and secrecy. I've admired the candor of the men and women who've contributed to this board.

We may not change our cultural forces overnight, but an open exchange such as this is an important first step.

Did that give you some insight, Lilith?
 

KLKev

New member
Sep 15, 2003
83
0
0
Despite the fact the Capital Region has a million people, Edmonton is still a pretty small town. I'm not a member of the Oilers or a local politician, but I'm recognized pretty often (maybe someone I knew from work in the past, old classmates from university, etc.) There are one or two close buddies of mine who know I indulge in the hobby--and that's it. My employer doesn't know, my family doesn't know, etc. (I'm not married--I'm referring to my larger family.)

I don't have a problem with visiting MPs. I think, like most guys in the hobby, it has brought me a great amount of joy and satisfaction. The idea of being able to enjoy a sexual encounter with a girl who wouldn't even give you the time of day in real life is a thrill. I see MPs as filling a deep need for many members of society. (It's simply a modern variation on the world's second-oldest profession.)

The problem is how the rest of society responds. You and I may understand about the hobby, others probably don't. That's why there is so much shame when police start "naming names" of customers and SPs/streetwalkers etc. If the rest of the world saw this as a legitimate choice for adults to make (which it is) there wouldn't be a problem. But the stigma is there. And it's not our problem, it's the rest of society's.

I don't mind seeing other guys at MPs. There's usually a smile and an acknowledgment we're both there for the same thing. We both like pretty girls. How revolutionary! I've even run into SPs in "the real world." (I saw Monique from Penthouse at Wal-Mart once. The weirdest part is passing the person in the aisle and thinking "I know what she looks like with her shirt off." Talk about freaky.)

But like most guys, I'm constantly worried about someone I know seeing me walk into an MP. I remember coming out of Southern Comfort one day years ago. I'd just had a great session and I was still basking in the afterglow. From across the parking lot, I hear someone calling my first name. It's a common first name, and I thought it was probably someone else. Then this person proceeded to yell my first and last name. I got into the car without looking over, and high-tailed it out of there. Why shouldn't I have been able to see that person, and say, "yes, I just had an erotic massage, and it was very nice. See you at work/church/the class reunion in 2013." Because society isn't that tolerant of other adults' lifestyle choices.
 

Dr Phibes

New member
Nov 14, 2002
112
0
0
50
Edmonton
I have to think some of it is due to the Social Stigma regardless if you're both there for the same thing or not. Plus there's the added fear of possibly running into someone you know. Not everyone is as open about their extracurricular activities as some. While I may have a friend or two I may feel comfortable discussing such things with I have many more I wouldn't dream of broaching the subject with.

I may feel alright talking to someone if I know they were a fellow Perbite but when you think about the # of MP's and the # of posters you have to think that the chances are pretty good if you run into someone they most likely wouldn't be from the forum. I think what we need is a secret sign we can use to discover if someone you run into is a fellow perbite and are comfortable talking. Something like scratching the back of your head or tapping your upper arm twice.

Something not too obvious that would make you look like a freak to a non perbite. :) You know like grabbing your package from behind though your legs.

That might be taken the wrong way... At least it has been when I've tried it. :p
 

Owudoin

PVC/Latex Fan...
Mar 14, 2003
410
0
0
Edmonton
A buddy of mine that is very open about his penchant for paying put it like this..."I find it a whole lot more satisfying, paying two hun for a rub and tug because it saves me time and energy...who the hell has time for all the relationship bullshit when all I want to do is drop a load on or in some hot chick? It works out cheaper in the long run cause sooner or later, we ALL pay for it in some way or another..." Clever guy, I still don't have the guts to tell him that I've taken his advice on a few of the girls he's seen. I just wish I could be as open about it as he is.
 

wolverine

Hard Throbbing Member
Nov 12, 2002
6,415
9
0
E-Town
I wanted to go into Fantasy last night. The rear parking was full, so I drove out to the front. There was some young guy standing near their door and smoking. If he was a client waiting for an appointment, fine. I can sit with him in the waiting room, and maybe even chat with him. But I wasn't 100% sure if he was a customer, and I didn't want to risk going in if he was a prying pair of eyes. And Fantasy does have problems with area teenagers who hassle them (such as opening the door, calling out something obscene and running away). So I ended up going elsewhere.

Guys...if you must go for a smoke break while waiting for a SP, please be more discreet and considerate. Go smoke in your car or something. But don't stand in front of the fucking entrance. Besides, smoking before sex may impact your performance.
 

BS Detector

Active member
Sep 8, 2003
1,535
1
38
www.bsdetector.com
Lilith, I also think that in a number of cases, it must be remembered that a guy might not sit behind a desk all day for work. If he sees clients either in or out of the office, works in a retail atmosphere etc, he "exposes" himself (god, I make that sound so dirty) to a number of people who may recognize him later. People from certain organizations are held to a "higher" standard too, people like media types, celebrity types etc. I've had people come up to me and say, "Don't I know you from..." and they did recognize me from somewhere such as a previous job, even school (as long ago as it was). I stick out like a sore thumb (there I go making something sound dirty again).
 

Lilith

Prescription Strength
Sep 25, 2003
134
0
0
Edmonton, Alberta
Thanks for all the insight guys. I sometimes forget what a small town edmonton really is because I didn't grow up here. BTW Jub, you need to clean your mailbox.
 

BS Detector

Active member
Sep 8, 2003
1,535
1
38
www.bsdetector.com
Herman...someone not saying they do not want to converse may not be rude but just uncomfortable. If they have to say it then they are doing exactly what they do not want to do...talk.
 

Bugs

Retired Rabbit
Mar 4, 2003
76
0
6
ToonTown
I beleive that the MP's that have "private" waiting rooms really improve their business. All of the girls that I have seen recently go out of their way to make sure the coast is clear and I truly appreciate this. We each have our own reasons for being in this "hobby" and those that respect our reasons deserve my respect.
 

Pussyman

Banned
Dec 25, 2002
793
0
0
Riding Off Into The Sunset
Wildrose has pictures (faces exposed) and schedule of all their ladies on the wall just as you walk in. If more places did this maybe us guys wouldn't always have to stop in to the various MPs to see what the girls look like in person. You can only tell so much by the websites and as discussed in previous threads their pictures are not always accurate or up to date.
Get this. Last week I was driving by one studio and decided to pop in and meet who was on duty. One girl greeted me at the door but the other one in their lounge wouldn't come out unless I definately wanted to stay for a session with her. Weird huh?

Candyman, I've never seen that menu at Fantasy. Is it the same pictures and info as on their website?

Concerning the main subject of anonimity at a studio, I've actually seen guys run back in the room when I've walked down the hallway. Pretty funny. If you ever see me in a waiting room, feel free to start talking. I hate staring at the wall or pretend I'm reading the magazine. I find that 90% of the time if you have an appointment, you will be shown into a room to wait there. Most places are pretty good about that. I find that guys in the waiting rooms are usually just drop-ins waiting for a certain gal to become available.
 

Pussyman

Banned
Dec 25, 2002
793
0
0
Riding Off Into The Sunset
OK Mikey. I know which book you're talking about now. I remember seeing that ages ago. Most likely half the girls in it aren't at Fantasy anymore. Maybe once their lineup gets stabilized they'll do a new one? Like you most of my times in waiting rooms have been at Fantasy, but I'm not too bothered as I know what's in store for me when I finally get in the room. (Know what I mean? Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink)
 

Pussyman

Banned
Dec 25, 2002
793
0
0
Riding Off Into The Sunset
Hey Mikey, I see you're a fellow Monty Python fan. I just love that sketch along with the parrot sketch. Hilarious.
As for the bell at Fantasy, yea it's akin to Pavlov's dog. To this day I always get a hard-on when I hear a bell ringing. :D
On the reverse side, I hate hearing it when I'm in the room. Always feel like I have to put it in overdrive to avoid hearing it again. The only bell ringing I'm interested in is when my SP is ringing mine. ;)
 

Bueller

New member
Jul 15, 2003
150
0
0
47
Edmonton
Only twice have I encountered another person, besides a SP, in a waiting room. Once was in Eurospa, where another customer was already in the waiting room. When I entered, he got up and shuffled to the corner of the room, as though I was there for a completely different reason than he was. I may be shy on occasion, but it's pretty obvious why we're there.

Naturally, the other time, the other person I encountered was there for a different reason. While waiting in Sinderellas, the repair guy comes in and starts a little work, all the while snickering and giggling like I was doing something dirty. My very pretty attendant comes to rescue me, and as I leave, I'm thinking to myself, "Have fun pulling that wire."

I don't understand why other customers get shy when another walks in. Really, what does one hold over another? Are some concerned about blackmail? Or that we'll talk about what we saw (manager in company X) doing?

I suppose this all stems from the great North American belief that sex is dirty. I nominate we all spend some time in Amsterdam so we can get over our waiting room unsociability. Any accountants on here that can make this tax deductable? We'll invite a few of our favourite SP's, too.
 
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