Legend Fantasyland
Seeking.com

Friday Humour

H

Hardatwork

Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing. After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer. Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa can I have some beer too?"
"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked back.

"No"

"Well, than your not big enough"

Granpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little Johnny sees this and asks for a cigarette.

"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked again.

"No"

"Well, than your not big enough"

Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies. His grandfather says, "Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?"

Little Johnny asks, "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?"

Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick so he says, "Well of course I can, I'm big enough."

Little Johnny then says, "Well, then go fuck yourself, these are my cookies"

:D
 

BOBST

Banned
Jun 7, 2004
447
0
0
71
Met a Lady this week by the name of Bridget, I think I will call her Bridge from now on as she came across!!! :D
 

sheena west

New member
Feb 3, 2004
180
0
0
Burnaby B.C
hotmail.com
there were three wives sitting around having coffie one day and all thier husbands names are Johnny. So the first wife says, "my Johnny can be compared to 7-up" The other 2 women are confused and ask "why" So the woman says, " because he's 7inches and MAN can he keep it up!" So the second wife pipes up and says "Well My Johnny can be compared to Mountain Dew" "What do you mean " the ladies ask. "Well once he mounts, Boy can he do!" so the 3rd ladie says "well my Johnny can be compared to Johnny Walker" The ladies look at eachother and ask "But isn't Johnny Walker a hard liquor?"
 

Massagegirl

Banned
Mar 25, 2003
892
1
0
A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news.

"So, did you jump?" the father asked.

"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"

"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.

"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."

"Did you jump then?" asked the father.

"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to
get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."

"So, did you jump?"

"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, `Boy, are you gonna jump or not?' I said,`No, sir. I'm too scared.'

So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball bat! He
said, 'boy,either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this little baby up your ass.'"

"So, did you jump?" asked the father.

"Well, a little, at first."

Sorry! :eek:
 

DJLAW

sexy beast
May 23, 2004
763
0
0
sorry ladies, i do not believe this joke but found it funny anyways.

A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem".
She Says "Tell me". He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand. She asks him what are they.
He says "well, pussy and bitch".
She says "Oh that's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy". He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement.
He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know, and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning.
Dad says "son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she can't handle them. What are the words?" He tells him...pussy and bitch. Dad say's "OK" and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker, circles the pubic area of the centrefold and says, "son, everything inside this circle, is pussy".
"OK dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."