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Drake Announcement

Chingada

Banned
Feb 15, 2004
344
0
0
Victoria
Drake Pub Announces March 26th as
“Fondle the Customer Day”


(Vancouver) In an effort to extend its appreciation to its customers, the Drake Pub has announced March 26th as “Fondle the Customer Day’ in which all females in attendance must touch, caress, massage, kiss and fondle the male clientele. In return, the fondled males, at no charge, will supply the females with beverages of their choice.

“We feel it’s time the Drake offered something to its male clientele instead of always taking from them,” said Pub manager Richard (Limp) Dick. “We hope the ladies in the Pub will do what they can to make the guys feel comfortable and excited.”

Dick said he would like to see the female clientele wear sexy, provocative outfits on the 26th to give the guys some visual stimulation. “If the girls look hot, the guys will get hot and when you’re hot you like to drink beer and that’s our specialty at the Drake,” “The hotter the chicks, the more beer we sell.” said Limp Dick who has a degree in economic from the prestigious London School of Economics

Some of the ground rules laid down by Dick include: If a lady has a beverage she must rub against the man who bought her the drink. If she doesn’t want to rub, she can offer the guy a quick feel, or a peak at a hidden spot of her anatomy. Touching, feeling, caressing of the women is expected. Anyone refusing to comply will be asked to leave. Guys must keep their privates to themselves. All business transactions must be conducted with discretion. “We don’t expect a free for all,” said Dick. “But what the guys do get at the Drake they expect it to be free.”

The 26th was chosen as “Fondle the Customer Day” because of an expected increase in female patrons due to various organizations having private parties at the Pub. Dick said he didn’t want to see any lewd, lascivious behaviour from the guys, only the girls are allowed to conduct themselves in such a fashion.

Asked if the “Fondle the Customer Day” would have a negative impact on the strippers who also do lap dances at the Drake, Dick replied, “Hell, no. We always have our regular clientele of perverts at the Drake and we expect them to be here on the 26th along with a fine collection of perverts from elsewhere on that day too.” Everybody loves a good feel now and then.”

-30-
 

CJ Tylers

Retired Sr. Member
Jan 4, 2003
1,648
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North Vancouver
um...ok... sounds like someone figured out that having the perb girls there would take away somehow from regular business... :p
 

Chingada

Banned
Feb 15, 2004
344
0
0
Victoria
CJ -- It's a joke.
 

Chingada

Banned
Feb 15, 2004
344
0
0
Victoria
Sorry!!!
 

Chingada

Banned
Feb 15, 2004
344
0
0
Victoria
Ingrid: No I wasn't joking, just trying to instill a little inspiration into the festivities. Let me be the first to buy you a drink (or two).
 

colada

retired... for the year
Mar 14, 2004
59
0
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Vancouver
Ingrid, do you like Ma'i' Ta'i' or Moj'i'to better? If the Drake doesn't sell either, how about G'i'n and Ton'i'c?
 

General Parts

New member
Sep 20, 2003
42
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Vancouver
Chingada said:
CJ -- It's a joke.

Chingada, I am sooooo dejected right now. Reading that, I was thinking, "WOW" and "this is so cool".... and after having my hopes brought up so much, to have this happen. I feel I must cry now =P
 

Chingada

Banned
Feb 15, 2004
344
0
0
Victoria
I shall, in my duty as a canadian woman serving her men, be wearing a short skirt with thigh high silky black lace stockings and garters. A very very short skirt.
Julia: With an outfit like that you can get whatever or whomever you want. Let me be the first to buy you a beverage of your choice to celebrate "Fondle the Customer Day."
 
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