Could I get a ladies opinion?

[redknight]

I found PERB when I moved to Vancouver and was contemplating seeing an SP, and although I have yet not indulged, I check in with PERB frequently because I really enjoy your discussions on a variety of subjects. I have a dilemma that I am sure you guys can help me out with. I met a girl before Christmas at the gym and we have been seeing each other since then. My problem is I think she might be a SP, she told me she is a marketing consultant and works from home, but she has a very strange schedule, absolutely hates it when I drop by without calling and seems to have a lot of cell phones. She and I both have graduate degrees, and while I am paying off my student loans (reason I moved to Vancouver, my company classifies Canada as “overseas” thus better salary) she seems to spend at will. Are there some telltale signs I should look for? I looked at some web sites the Buy&Sell, Georgia Straight, etc. Any help would be appreciated.

I think the best thing is to ask her, however, is there a way I can broach the subject so as not to insult her and if I am wrong not sabotage the relationship? We get along great and have a great time together, sex is brilliant and we share the same general outlook on life, so I really would appreciate any suggestions.

 

[dick slap]

Share

I think your best approach is to share her with others on PERB and let us decide for you. This way you will get honest feedback from a group of experts who know what an sp is. If she's not an sp then at least you'll know for sure and then all you'll need to do is decide if you want to dump her for screwing so many guys.

DS

PS. During this period of uncertainty make sure you keep a raincoat on in the bedroom.

 

[Scarlett]

I agree with spk106.

If there any doubt, for god's sake don't ask her straight up if she's an SP. Most girls would not take kindly to that.

She'll tell you in due course if she is. Once you've been seeing her for awhile, you have every right to question her schedule- tell her it confuses you, but don't let on your suspicion. Try to drop into conversation at some point that you would never judge someone for their lifestyle and career choice blah blah blah.

 

[sdw]

After thought,

If she doesn't mine (very important)... ask to check your e-mail from her computer and take a quick look at the history (don't hit the history button that will get you into sooo much sh*t, use the address scroll option) and start off with www.per www.sex www.tr www.ero and other similar tell tale addresses and see what comes up.

You could also open an office document to see the history of the last 3 documents worked on, as well as take a peak at some of the icon names on her desktop.

You have so pointed out why my computers require an user name and password. I have a guest user name and password that I let others use. I also have my volumes protected and my favorites for my user name is in a protected volume. Chaos Cleaner does a good job of eliminating all history information.

 

[Sweetiepie]

if you really have to know, drop hints like "I knew a girl who got in such debt that she started working as an escort, boy she had the funniest stories!" Then when things get serious say something along the lines of "I'm falling for you but I feel like there is something you're not telling me, things just don't add up, but it must just be me because you're such a wonderful person. I'm sorry I said anything" Then walk away with your shoulders hunched, head down and let her think on it a day or 2. Either way she will broach the subject again, either to question you or talk about your doubts or to confide in you. Keep an open mind and watch your body language whatever she says, don't shout or get angry or she'll say "just kidding" and you'll be back to square one except she won't return your calls.

Good luck (and don't f*ck it up.)

If its a case where you won't mind if she's an sp but you just want her to be open, I think this is the best advice. Just look for openings in the conversation to let her know that you are comfortable and supportive of SP's and would be with her. Its more a matter of making it safe for her to tell you. If she cares about you, maybe that's all she needs to open up. If you went the sneaky route and did things like check her computer, then you'd have to ask yourself what would you do with the information once you got it? "I checked your computer and found out you're an SP." NOT! It would be more like you checked her computer, found out, and decided not to see her again. If you want the relationship to continue, the only way is to make her feel comfortable telling you on her own initiative. BTW, I don't like it when people drop over unannounced even though I'm not an SP.

 

[Sweetiepie]

I personally don't like the idea of dropping hints. For one thing unless you're a great actor it will probably set off her spidey senses.
Disclaimer: I am not a lady so my opinion may not count

Actually you might have a really good point here. Dropping a hint is what a female would do, and she would do it well. But, come to think of it, most guys couldn't pull it off as well as we could, in which case it would backfire. So I retract that advice.

 

[sdw]

Actually you might have a really good point here. Dropping a hint is what a female would do, and she would do it well. But, come to think of it, most guys couldn't pull it off as well as we could, in which case it would backfire. So I retract that advice.

lol, Women have dropped hints to me? hmm, when? how? does it make me male to not have picked up on it?

Seriously, sometimes when women think that they have been quite clear, I don't have the faintest idea of what they were after.

A certain amount of directness is needed to avoid misunderstandings.

 

[Sweetiepie]

lol, Women have dropped hints to me? hmm, when? how? does it make me male to not have picked up on it?

Seriously, sometimes when women think that they have been quite clear, I don't have the faintest idea of what they were after.

A certain amount of directness is needed to avoid misunderstandings.

... except the original suggestions were for him to hint to a female, not to a male. She would get it (if he dropped the hint with the skill of a female).