Why is it hard for you to wrap your head around the fact that meeting women on the street is not hard or rare?
approaching women in non-bar/club situations
- Thread starter Aerts
- Start date
There are so many different ways to talk to a woman, it's really about self confidence and not having any expectations.
In fact I've found the less expectations I have the better I do.
When I have zero expectations it allows me to relax and actually really listen to what she is saying and work off of whatever she gives me. Show her you are interested in her.
You really don't need any of that mystery garbage - women want to meet men just as much as we want to meet them. That's what's so funny about the whole thing.
smile, smile, smile.
Talk to whoever you see. I talk to men, women, store clerks, people with dogs, hell I was at lunch the other day with a business associate and I started talking to an older couple - which led to me talking to a real cutey at the table beside us.
You have to put yourself in a "state" = which is friendly, confident, outgoing, open - and this "state" follows me where ever I go, it's like an energy I carry with me.
And women love it.
You can't expect to have this state "cold" you have to "feed it" by being open to people, regardless of whether you are attracted to them or not.
So talk to the 6's, talk to the 3's, talk to older people, talk to men, you will find that people are generally fairly easy to talk to.
What do you talk about?
Whatever their doing...
Reading the paper? Anything interesting in the news today?
Walking a dog? Oh nice puppy, is it a boy or a girl, what's his/her name?
In a restaurant? I've never been here before anything you would reccomend?
On the street or in an elevator? Look them right in the eye with a big mischeivious smile and just ask, "so you having a good week or a bad week?"
As for a woman passing by... you can either get a dog or carry your keys and accidently drop them in front of her, she will stop and go to pick them up... mention something about oh geez I'm such a klutz....
Then as you are talking you can compliment her... and see her reaction - if she smiles - you're in.
You have to remember to make eye contact, flirt, have fun, SMILE and have zero expectations.
In fact I've found the less expectations I have the better I do.
When I have zero expectations it allows me to relax and actually really listen to what she is saying and work off of whatever she gives me. Show her you are interested in her.
You really don't need any of that mystery garbage - women want to meet men just as much as we want to meet them. That's what's so funny about the whole thing.
smile, smile, smile.
Talk to whoever you see. I talk to men, women, store clerks, people with dogs, hell I was at lunch the other day with a business associate and I started talking to an older couple - which led to me talking to a real cutey at the table beside us.
You have to put yourself in a "state" = which is friendly, confident, outgoing, open - and this "state" follows me where ever I go, it's like an energy I carry with me.
And women love it.
You can't expect to have this state "cold" you have to "feed it" by being open to people, regardless of whether you are attracted to them or not.
So talk to the 6's, talk to the 3's, talk to older people, talk to men, you will find that people are generally fairly easy to talk to.
What do you talk about?
Whatever their doing...
Reading the paper? Anything interesting in the news today?
Walking a dog? Oh nice puppy, is it a boy or a girl, what's his/her name?
In a restaurant? I've never been here before anything you would reccomend?
On the street or in an elevator? Look them right in the eye with a big mischeivious smile and just ask, "so you having a good week or a bad week?"
As for a woman passing by... you can either get a dog or carry your keys and accidently drop them in front of her, she will stop and go to pick them up... mention something about oh geez I'm such a klutz....
Then as you are talking you can compliment her... and see her reaction - if she smiles - you're in.
You have to remember to make eye contact, flirt, have fun, SMILE and have zero expectations.
A great place i discovered purely by accident is the Ikea store during a weekday afternoon.
I was picking up a few things in the housewares area (mixing bowls, shower curtain, table lamp) and the next thing I knew women were making excuses to strike up a conversation.
I guess the sight of a single guy looking domestic and helpless sends out a signal.
Met a very nice woman that way.I
I was picking up a few things in the housewares area (mixing bowls, shower curtain, table lamp) and the next thing I knew women were making excuses to strike up a conversation.
I guess the sight of a single guy looking domestic and helpless sends out a signal.
Met a very nice woman that way.I
I get approached...
I must be a magnet for women, because almost anytime I go out, I get hit on by the ladies. Tonight, I was at the liquor store and this really hot blonde smiled and was joking that I nearly knocked over a bunch of bottles and would have to pay for them... only took me 2 minutes of chatting with her to get her number and be on my way...as they say...some guys have ...most don't.
I must be a magnet for women, because almost anytime I go out, I get hit on by the ladies. Tonight, I was at the liquor store and this really hot blonde smiled and was joking that I nearly knocked over a bunch of bottles and would have to pay for them... only took me 2 minutes of chatting with her to get her number and be on my way...as they say...some guys have ...most don't.
One time when I was out of town on business, I was having breakfast at the hotel when I spotted a hottie reading a book by one of my favorite authors. I finished, paid my bill, walked by her table, exaggerated my body language of reading the book cover, then exclaimed, "cool, that's a great book! Have you read his other stuff?" Then I ended up sitting at her table and chatting for a while.
Although I haven't tried this, a good way of meeting chicks at a grocery when you're both staring at the wall of cereal and you ask her about her favorite brands or what was her favorite cereal when she was a kid.
Although I haven't tried this, a good way of meeting chicks at a grocery when you're both staring at the wall of cereal and you ask her about her favorite brands or what was her favorite cereal when she was a kid.
I must say your chosen screen name and picture of a Geico caveman is quite fitting for you, given your sub-human level of intellect.maybe because his head is the size of a *pin*
in that case it would be hard to wrap around anything,,, let alone an entire concept
.
and while we're on approaching - be the kind of man you'd want if you were a woman. being physically pleasing (showered, shaved, physically in shape) makes approaching alot easier than being outta shape, wearing dirty clothes, or hair all over the place. it's an ugly truth but when you look and feel good the approaching becomes easier. and if you've managed to read this far - the next step is to be interesting too.
and i have to say this is the dumbest way possible. not to insult anybody's intelligence but saying something that 30 other men have said before you is a sure fire way to get her to put you in the same category as the other 30. attraction isn't based on compliments. they are nice and most women appreciate them but it doesn't lead to attraction. be different, be clever, but understand that she will make you jump thru hoops, the more clever your responses are the better your chances. and also understand that there are women out there that even the most gifted pick up artists can't touch. they may be married, dating, lesbian, or otherwise just not interested. just move on.
and while we're on approaching - be the kind of man you'd want if you were a woman. being physically pleasing (showered, shaved, physically in shape) makes approaching alot easier than being outta shape, wearing dirty clothes, or hair all over the place. it's an ugly truth but when you look and feel good the approaching becomes easier. and if you've managed to read this far - the next step is to be interesting too.
Here's a method that almost always works -
First, ya gotta get her attention. That's why when I see a woman I want to meet I trip her. That's right, stick your big size 12 out there and send her face plantin'. Now you gotta do this discretely, it has to look like an accident.
This technique applied correctly will result in one of four possibilities:
Best: You apologize profusely and come to her aid. First stop the blood flow and check for any possible concussions. Then rip off your shirt, revealing your rippled abs, etc., and use it to either bandage her sprained ankle or apply as a tourniquet. Once her initial shock has worn off you can then charm her with witty banter.
Not so best: She goes psycho on you and beats the crap out of you drawing a small but enthusiastic crowd of onlookers. They will not, however, be cheering for you. But you will have her undivided attention.
Not so good: Her boyfriend, who you did not see until now, comes charging over and whallops the bejesus out of you. A large, enthusiastic crowd gathers and begin chanting 'Kill the creep!"
Kinda bad: She goes psycho, her boyfriend inflicts some serious pain, and the cops are called and you get arrested. Of course, depending on how open minded you are this might not be so bad as your social agenda would be filled for the night.
I hope my astute advice helps you to meet the women of your wet dreams.
First, ya gotta get her attention. That's why when I see a woman I want to meet I trip her. That's right, stick your big size 12 out there and send her face plantin'. Now you gotta do this discretely, it has to look like an accident.
This technique applied correctly will result in one of four possibilities:
Best: You apologize profusely and come to her aid. First stop the blood flow and check for any possible concussions. Then rip off your shirt, revealing your rippled abs, etc., and use it to either bandage her sprained ankle or apply as a tourniquet. Once her initial shock has worn off you can then charm her with witty banter.
Not so best: She goes psycho on you and beats the crap out of you drawing a small but enthusiastic crowd of onlookers. They will not, however, be cheering for you. But you will have her undivided attention.
Not so good: Her boyfriend, who you did not see until now, comes charging over and whallops the bejesus out of you. A large, enthusiastic crowd gathers and begin chanting 'Kill the creep!"
Kinda bad: She goes psycho, her boyfriend inflicts some serious pain, and the cops are called and you get arrested. Of course, depending on how open minded you are this might not be so bad as your social agenda would be filled for the night.
I hope my astute advice helps you to meet the women of your wet dreams.
Worst PickUp Lines
These are some of the worst pickup lines for me (I'm a petite Asian girl):
"Where are you from?"
"Are you Chinese or Japanese?"
"I know a Korean girl named_____, are you Korean?"
"You're very pretty for an oriental."
Personally I find it a bit insulting when I'm viewed as an ethnic person
first and then a woman/person.
These are some of the worst pickup lines for me (I'm a petite Asian girl):
"Where are you from?"
"Are you Chinese or Japanese?"
"I know a Korean girl named_____, are you Korean?"
"You're very pretty for an oriental."
Personally I find it a bit insulting when I'm viewed as an ethnic person
first and then a woman/person.
you need to watch a show called "Keys to the VIP" its where two doods go head to head in a club environment picking up girls. commentary is done by a panel of pretty boys who insert witty remarks and its just stupid enough to keep watching.
it isnt the best show to watch if you're looking to hone your pick up skills, its more of a "what not to do" kind of deal.
it's on tuesday and saturday nights on comedy central. think of it like a blind date type of show for guys
it isnt the best show to watch if you're looking to hone your pick up skills, its more of a "what not to do" kind of deal.
it's on tuesday and saturday nights on comedy central. think of it like a blind date type of show for guys
First of all I think you are taking some of those comments a little bit too personally and way out of context.
"Where are you from?" seems like a pretty innocent question to me. I'll agree "You're very pretty for an oriental." is really bad, but let's be honest in your entire life how many men have said that to you?
It's very easy for a woman to stand back and critisize men on their approaches - but the fact is, most women are gutless and would never approach a man because their deathly afraid of rejection.
Maybe you could offer the OP some tips, it seems like a pretty genuine post and it's a great opportunity for you to help him out.
That depends on why you're asking and when. If you ask too soon, she may think you're assuming she's foreign just because she's Asian. Apparently, this is something Asian-Canadian and Asian-American women experience a lot. How do you know she hasn't lived here longer than you have or that her family hasn't been here for a few generations?
I think you might be surprised. Never underestimate the human capacity for stupidity and tactlessness.
Regarding guys suffering from "yellow fever" -- Non-Asian guys who say they prefer Asian women are to be regarded with suspicion. In fairness though, there are also lots of Asian women who say they only date white guys -- and they should also be regarded with suspicion IMO.
Reply to Kelel
Kelel: "Where are you from?" seems like a pretty innocent question to me. I'll agree "You're very pretty for an oriental." is really bad, but let's be honest in your entire life how many men have said that to you?
Yes, on the surface, "Where are you from?" sounds innocent.
But when you get asked this question all the time, it gets a bit tiresome.
This question has a different meaning when asked to a white person. They
want to know if you're from White Rock, Abbotsford, Surrey, etc. but has
an entirely different meaning when you're Asian. People want to know
which Asian country you're from & what is your ethnic origin.
"You're very pretty" and "You're very pretty for an oriental" are not the same.
Substitute it for, "You're very smart for a (insert an ethnic group or
visible minority here)". Now does that sound like a compliment to you?
It's very hard to give someone advice on approaching women in public
since what may work for one woman, may not work for another.
I don't think there's any sure-fire line that will work universally. But I
agree that a specific compliment works better than a generic one like
"You have beautiful eyes." Women love humorous men. If you can make
her laugh, then she'll find you more attractive. Confidence helps a lot too.
If you notice a detail about a woman (how unique her earrings look or
that she has great highlights in her hair), this can be very flattering too.
But generally I think if you are able to build some sort of rapport with a
woman over time as oppose to just randomly approaching someone in a
public place, the chances of meeting someone increases. Women are
often wary about being approached by a stranger in public but if you
bump into someone all the time (like going to the same cafe or bookstore)
then you'll have more of an excuse to approach her.
I give men a lot of credit for approaching strange women. It must be
nerve wrecking! I certainly couldn't do it (approaching strange men).
Kelel: "Where are you from?" seems like a pretty innocent question to me. I'll agree "You're very pretty for an oriental." is really bad, but let's be honest in your entire life how many men have said that to you?
Yes, on the surface, "Where are you from?" sounds innocent.
But when you get asked this question all the time, it gets a bit tiresome.
This question has a different meaning when asked to a white person. They
want to know if you're from White Rock, Abbotsford, Surrey, etc. but has
an entirely different meaning when you're Asian. People want to know
which Asian country you're from & what is your ethnic origin.
"You're very pretty" and "You're very pretty for an oriental" are not the same.
Substitute it for, "You're very smart for a (insert an ethnic group or
visible minority here)". Now does that sound like a compliment to you?
It's very hard to give someone advice on approaching women in public
since what may work for one woman, may not work for another.
I don't think there's any sure-fire line that will work universally. But I
agree that a specific compliment works better than a generic one like
"You have beautiful eyes." Women love humorous men. If you can make
her laugh, then she'll find you more attractive. Confidence helps a lot too.
If you notice a detail about a woman (how unique her earrings look or
that she has great highlights in her hair), this can be very flattering too.
But generally I think if you are able to build some sort of rapport with a
woman over time as oppose to just randomly approaching someone in a
public place, the chances of meeting someone increases. Women are
often wary about being approached by a stranger in public but if you
bump into someone all the time (like going to the same cafe or bookstore)
then you'll have more of an excuse to approach her.
I give men a lot of credit for approaching strange women. It must be
nerve wrecking! I certainly couldn't do it (approaching strange men).
why me?
now as far as where you're from - i've never shied away from saying i love asian women. i do ask them where they're from when i feel like it and i hope they don't get offended. i've also told many of them that i'm shy about approaching asian women because they are usually self centred and smell funny. and while i don't mean that it's definitely an ice breaker. i know that i have zero chance with many of them so i don't get offended when i don't get the response i want (and these are usually the ones who's english isn't great or where my humor doesn't appeal to them).
as for my advice on how to approach women, i could care less if anybody takes it or not. bottom line is that it works well for me, and i'm not the one asking how to get it done. if you want proof of it tho' look around at all the nice guys who compliment women and end up with jack shit, while the guys who act like they don't need the women end up with more than one.
why are you addressing it to me? if you go back and read the comment it was made by chili. i simply told him his reply was good.
now as far as where you're from - i've never shied away from saying i love asian women. i do ask them where they're from when i feel like it and i hope they don't get offended. i've also told many of them that i'm shy about approaching asian women because they are usually self centred and smell funny. and while i don't mean that it's definitely an ice breaker. i know that i have zero chance with many of them so i don't get offended when i don't get the response i want (and these are usually the ones who's english isn't great or where my humor doesn't appeal to them).
as for my advice on how to approach women, i could care less if anybody takes it or not. bottom line is that it works well for me, and i'm not the one asking how to get it done. if you want proof of it tho' look around at all the nice guys who compliment women and end up with jack shit, while the guys who act like they don't need the women end up with more than one.
I suppose I don't understand your concerns. People are attracted to what they're attracted to its not necessarily a conscious decision so why do you care if some white men are only attracted to asian women and vice versa?
Opps! I Goofed.
Kalel said: why are you addressing it to me? if you go back and read the
comment it was made by chili. i simply told him his reply was good.
Sorry! I meant to address it to chili of course. Thanks for the correction.
Kalel said: why are you addressing it to me? if you go back and read the
comment it was made by chili. i simply told him his reply was good.
Sorry! I meant to address it to chili of course. Thanks for the correction.
It's not the attraction per se that's objectionable, but the reasons one gives for said attraction. Consider some of the reasons white men commonly give for an attraction to Asian women, as well the ones Asian women give for preferring to date white men and that should give you a pretty good idea.
If by some chance, you're not familiar with these reasons then let me know.
