Funny grammar on CL escort ads

[DavidLin]

Now I'm not one to be too picky about someones grammar or spelling, especially when I'm browsing CL ads. I've seen "sexiest" spelled as "sexest" or "asian" spelled as "assin". But this last one I saw tops the charts in funny,

http://vancouver.craigslist.org/ers/383352601.html

Sweat***** Sweat ***** Candy - w4m - 27
Reply to: pers-383352601@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-27, 11:32AM PDT

Ex- Model going to school for her degree, very horny girl.

300 1hr diamonds

Call: Halle 778 999 6285

I WILL NOT ANSWER BLOCKED CALLS. MY PHONE IS not SET UP TO NOT RECIEVE TEXT MESSAGES SO IF YOU TRY YOU WILL BE CHARGE A PENALTY Sorry xoxo Halle





Who would want to see an SP called "Sweat Candy"??

 

[ihatebullshit]

I am wondering what it takes to get a degree in her University, surely not spelling

 

[littlejimbigher]

I seen that ad and just figured she was going to make you sweat alot.

 

[JustAGuy]

MY PHONE IS not SET UP TO NOT RECIEVE TEXT MESSAGES SO IF YOU TRY YOU WILL BE CHARGE A PENALTY Sorry xoxo Halle

Errrrr ... so this double negative means her phone is set up receive text messages?

And I may not be as familiar as I could be with all the new technology these days when it comes to phones, but how does she propose charging a penalty to people who try and send text messages if, assuming she meant her phone can't receive them, she doesn't know that they sent a text message? Maybe the honor system?

When you arrive at her door, "Sweat" Candy asks "did you send me any text messages?"
Client: I cannot tell a lie, yes I did.
"Sweat" Candy: How many?
Client: Three
"Sweat" Candy: Okay, I charge a $25 penalty per attempt. That's $75 in fines before you even get let in the door, buster.

Hell, she can pay for her school tuition just based on fines alone if her clientele consists of fairly stupid (they text her a lot) but honest (they admit to it) guys.

 

[Stew]

More CL stuff

Below is another ad addressing text messages. Um, did anyone suggest that texting was free?

BTW, what is a flirtatious thigh anyway?

Nice pics, but I doubt that they show the one posting the ad.



http://vancouver.craigslist.org/ers/383494965.html

Sexy hips, flirtatious thighs, my nip**es and P***y gets wet when you're nice and slow and softs. My pictures are a true reflextion of my desires.

300 1hr roses
Call me : 604 613 7303
I will not answer blocked calls, text messages will be charged to your phone company. Kisses Shakara

 

[sirlickheralot]

Hi, I am a young Taiwanese beauty in Vancouver East. Pretty face, slim with cute simile which will melt you. You will be pleased with both my charming look and services.please call Annie at 778..317..1829

Who isn't a sucker for a cute simile

 

[SGTSLEUTH]

Asian Giri

http://vancouver.craigslist.org/ers/384174551.html

Sounds like a new dish on a menu to me

 

[JustAGuy]

Hi, I am a young Taiwanese beauty in Vancouver East. Pretty face, slim with cute simile which will melt you. You will be pleased with both my charming look and services.please call Annie at 778..317..1829

Who isn't a sucker for a cute simile

No kidding, huh? Dipthongs really get me hot too.

 

[Thelyhi]

Funny stuff,don't these CL's sellers use spell check? If they can / can't find it.

 

[Avery]

Dipthongs really get me hot too.

For me, it's onomatopeia. I prefer diphthongs minus the diph.

 

[SGTSLEUTH]

Funny stuff,don't these CL's sellers use spell check? If they can / can't find it.

I don't think its a lack of not knowing how to use spell check, more or less likely it is the lack of fluency/comprehension in the English Language.

 

[Rod Steel]

I don't think its a lack of not knowing how to use spell check, more or less likely it is the lack of fluency/comprehension in the English Language.

Edzachary SGT, you het the nale on ze hett.

Don't worry about it ppl - in 50 years that will be modern english.

 

[LaCreme]

Who would want to see an SP called "Sweat Candy"

maybe that person do not have english as frist language.
i think that `sp` mean `sweet candy`. dose it make sence´?

 

[lenny]

Who would want to see an SP called "Sweat Candy"

maybe that person do not have english as frist language.
i think that `sp` mean `sweet candy`. dose it make sence´?

I have to agree with you. I like a lady who likes to sweat a lot,
hour after hour, but sweet can be good too.