Is there such a thing as a type of girl you'd bang vs girl you'd marry?

204fun

Active member
Jan 18, 2018
327
229
43
why isn't the girl you're sleeping with going to be the one you want to marry though? why? like can we really examine this?
also do or do not, there is no try ;)
I agree with Clem on this one as it has me a bit perplexed.
In my personal experience, I don't recall many times where I've ended up in a relationship with a woman without her being someone who I had slept with prior to entering into that relationship...I guess there was that one time in junior high where I asked that girl to go steady, but from that point sex has always been a part of the decision to start a relationship.
 
A

Andrew69913

I just think if you are seriously asking this question....you're better off not married. Sexual satisfaction is an integral part in any of my healthy romantic relationships...including what I would consider "wife" material. Just understand that nobody is 100% on ALL the time....but if your partner isn't sexually adventurous enough for you and has no intentions of becoming so (p.s. you're not going to change them if they aren't), then don't marry them. Find somebody with a similar basic life philosophy as you....including views on sex...and I believe you can be monogomous and happy. Also I should point out..my idea of a wife is a partner in life.....not a subservient home maker.
 

clu

Active member
Oct 3, 2010
1,282
14
38
Vancouver
Name something not included in those three criteria.
One could argue that intelligence, for example, is something distinct from personality. But it would easily break down in a sea of semantics and possible citations of dictionary.com where you would both conclude you're right because one was using definition 1 and the other definition 3. :)

But suffice to say you already said there were exceptions. So you're actually arguing about the "norm" not whether those three absolutely cover it.

Edit to add: however, if you're using such a broad definition of personality, then bedroom skills would also qualify as personality, so you've only stated two criteria. ;)
 

theimp

Active member
Aug 19, 2015
190
94
28
I have been married three times,for two years, ten years and twenty (I got better at it as time went by). I would still consider marriage again, but only with someone I truly enjoyed sex with and so much more. One of my wives was very vanilla (I am not) and so , much as I loved her, it was doomed from the beginning. I would not make that mistake again, though I did gain an excellent friend.
 

jgg

In the air again.
Apr 14, 2015
2,454
381
83
Varies now
I've worked my way through the alphabet and I haven't found the right lady yet. But that's my problem.
 

nightswhisper

Member
Feb 20, 2016
789
8
18
One could argue that intelligence, for example, is something distinct from personality. But it would easily break down in a sea of semantics and possible citations of dictionary.com where you would both conclude you're right because one was using definition 1 and the other definition 3. :)

But suffice to say you already said there were exceptions. So you're actually arguing about the "norm" not whether those three absolutely cover it.

Edit to add: however, if you're using such a broad definition of personality, then bedroom skills would also qualify as personality, so you've only stated two criteria. ;)
1. What do you care about more: that the girl can recite the entire dictionary, or that she is interesting enough thereby you can have a conversation with her? Many highly intelligent individual lack social skills and come across as being distant and aloof. The average individual cares about how intelligence is presented, not what it's actual factor is.

2. This entire conversation right now is about bedroom skills being separate from personality. Almost every participant has made a clear distinction. Looks is material. Personality is emotional. Sexual prowess is physiological.

But yes. There are exceptions. But exceptions are not the norm.
 

jgg

In the air again.
Apr 14, 2015
2,454
381
83
Varies now
What did you do when you reached the letter "Q"....

So ,I'd have to assume you've met Quasimodo from Vernon as well?
I feel it is in my best interest not to answer that, other than to say I've been to Vernon many times.
 

clu

Active member
Oct 3, 2010
1,282
14
38
Vancouver
1. What do you care about more: that the girl can recite the entire dictionary, or that she is interesting enough thereby you can have a conversation with her?
Now you're confusing knowledge with intellect.

2. This entire conversation right now is about bedroom skills being separate from personality.
And thus at least two of us object that this is an oversimplification.

But exceptions are not the norm.
I don't believe this thread represents the norm. I believe your generalisations are coming from a narrow perspective.

The counterpoint here is that what one desires in a partner is more complex than it's being portrayed and this is a poor and simplistic model.

This is like those lame personality tests that assume there are only 4 (or 16) types of people. Or that Aries can't get along with Capricorn.

Edit to add: on a basic level you're saying the only talent/skill/aptitude worthy of special note is sexual talent, and that's the fundamental thing that's being called out.
 

sybian

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2014
3,404
735
113
Kamloops B.C.
1. What do you care about more: that the girl can recite the entire dictionary, or that she is interesting enough thereby you can have a conversation with her? Most highly intelligent individual lack social skills and come across as being distant and aloof. The average individual cares about how intelligence is presented, not what it's actual factor is.

2. This entire conversation right now is about bedroom skills being separate from personality. Almost every participant has made a clear distinction. Looks is material. Personality is emotional. Sexual prowess is physiological.

But yes. There are exceptions. But exceptions are not the norm.
I'd have to somewhat agree with you there....I'm not book smart, and I need a calculator to figure out even the most simple calculations.
Yet I have spatial recognition above most....and if I'm shown how to create, repair, build, or design something just once, I will never forget it, and socially I'm told that I'm quite good.
Most know around here I'm no rocket scientist to say the least.
A very good example of the " exception" you talk about is Miss Erica....very high IQ, very gracious, and socially she can put herself in another's mindset, probing their background and experiences, to relate the conversation to their comfort levels, without seeming superior.
 

nightswhisper

Member
Feb 20, 2016
789
8
18
Now you're confusing knowledge with intellect.

And thus at least two of us object that this is an oversimplification.

I don't believe this thread represents the norm. I believe your generalisations are coming from a narrow perspective.

The counterpoint here is that what one desires in a partner is more complex than it's being portrayed and this is a poor and simplistic model.

This is like those lame personality tests that assume there are only 4 (or 16) types of people. Or that Aries can't get along with Capricorn.

Edit to add: on a basic level you're saying the only talent/skill/aptitude worthy of special note is sexual talent, and that's the fundamental thing that's being called out.
1. Intellect is the amount of information or knowledge one can perceivably retain. Wisdom is how the information is used. People are attracted to wise people (a form of charisma and personality) and not their intellect (brain power).

2. Almost everyone agrees that sex is an important part of their life that determines marriage separately from personality of their wives / potential wives / future ex-wives. If a group of people echoing the same sentiment isn't the norm, what is?

There are only 16 personality types (According to psychology). Personality types are a quantified measure of qualitative differences and a generalization of those data into four sets of opposing values. But it doesn't mean that those personality types all have shared experiences, critical thinking, or cultural values. (On a side note, I think most of psychology is bullshit. So this is only an argument, not my actual take on its validity)

I would agree that I am making generalizations, but certainly not simplifications. Attraction isn't very complex. There are people who want to fuck Einstein. But most will probably choose Michael Fassbender first.
 
Last edited:

nightswhisper

Member
Feb 20, 2016
789
8
18
I'd have to somewhat agree with you there....I'm not book smart, and I need a calculator to figure out even the most simple calculations.
Yet I have spatial recognition above most....and if I'm shown how to create, repair, build, or design something just once, I will never forget it, and socially I'm told that I'm quite good.
Most know around here I'm no rocket scientist to say the least.
A very good example of the " exception" you talk about is Miss Erica....very high IQ, very gracious, and socially she can put herself in another's mindset, probing their background and experiences, to relate the conversation to their comfort levels, without seeming superior.
Intellect is usually not a good measure of personality because it has nothing to do with it.

"If three people are together, one will always be teaching the other two something new." - Chinese proverb.
 

sybian

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2014
3,404
735
113
Kamloops B.C.
Intellect is usually not a good measure of personality because it has nothing to do with it.

"If three people are together, one will always be teaching the other two something new." - Chinese proverb.
For myself....it has everything to do with it, but that may just be me.

Three Chinese men are playing a game, a fourth runs up and says, " the world is coming to an end!"
The first says "I will get my affairs in order before the end of the world."
The second says "I will go to town ,and hire some women to spend my last moments with."
The third and wisest old man says...."I will finish the game."

Another old Chinese proverb
 

clu

Active member
Oct 3, 2010
1,282
14
38
Vancouver
FYI nightswhisper, the 16 personality types come from the pop psychology Myer-Briggs test populised by management types, and created by non-psychologists based on a distortion of Carl Jung's work. I cited it because it was another example of misguided simplification. It's not legitimate psychology.

Anyway while I believe your three things are what matter to you, I dispute that they are all that encompasses "the norm" unless you contort yourself to fit everything under personality that might be put forward as a counterexample while somehow keeping sexual behaviour it's own thing.

Hell, from what I've read, it seems Sybian would admire a woman with significant farming or livestock skills. Aligning with someone who has similar or complementary life skills to your own because it helps you "fit" is or isn't personality just as much as aligning with someone with compatible sexual skills.
 

sybian

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2014
3,404
735
113
Kamloops B.C.
FYI nightswhisper, the 16 personality types come from the pop psychology Myer-Briggs test populised by management types, and created by non-psychologists based on a distortion of Carl Jung's work. I cited it because it was another example of misguided simplification. It's not legitimate psychology.

Anyway while I believe your three things are what matter to you, I dispute that they are all that encompasses "the norm" unless you contort yourself to fit everything under personality that might be put forward as a counterexample while somehow keeping sexual behaviour it's own thing.

Hell, from what I've read, it seems Sybian would admire a woman with significant farming or livestock skills. Aligning with someone who has similar or complementary life skills to your own because it helps you "fit" is or isn't personality just as much as aligning with someone with compatible sexual skills.
....and that Sir....is why I call you friend.
I love all women, but if I'm going to spend some time with them, which I have little of, she better know how to use a sawmill, or cordless drill....and if she doesn't she will learn in a hurry.

When I was younger, I'd hand a potential girlfriend an empty rifle.....just to see how she handled it.
If she was uncomfortable, I'd see how eager she was to learn....a firearm up here is a part of life, and it could be my life she saves or looses in that split second.
There may be 16 personality types , there may be 160... But that estimate was forged from a mind with their own views and opinions...we are all products of our experiences, and environments.

We are all individuals within the same sacred circle.
 

ramblingboy

Member
Oct 10, 2003
184
3
18
Vancouver
One of two marriages fail and often leave pain, financial difficulty and often heartbroken children. The glue that keeps a marriage together for 40 or 50 years has to be more than sex. Sex is important but after living with someone everyday it often becomes less important perhaps. The things that matter are commitment, appreciating the unique qualities of the other and commitment to the relationship. Knowing someone is your corner and will be there for you. Someone you can count on and visa versa. Kindness was important to me. Kindness shows what kind of human being you are in my view. As you age what kind of body your wife has is not a big deal. All things in life are temporary. Looks fade and bodies sag. You have to look at a prospective partner and ask what kind of human being are they? To me that was more important than how they "preformed in bed. Is this the kind of person that you could enjoy doing a number of things with? No one person is going to solve your reason for being. You have to solve that yourself however a relationship I think can enhance your being. Ask not what she can do for you ask what you can do for her. I just made that up with help from JFK. Marriages are going up in smoke by the truckload everyday I married someone that I wanted to grow old. Guess what know I'm old. No matter who you marry there will be plenty of challenges so better find someone that is up for the challenge and doesn't run when the going gets tough. It's pretty well guaranteed the going will get tough at some point. If anyone is suggesting that the quality of sexual performance is a firm foundation for marriage I would probably suggest your start saving for the divorce lawyer now. You gotta have more than sex in common! Why would anyone in this day an age get married for sex?
 

ElsiDawson

Slutty slut
Nov 5, 2016
485
16
18
Vancouver, BC
I'd never marry a man who's had more than five previous lovers. I don't want a dick that's been crushed by a pile of vaginas. Or the idea of other people having slept with my legal property... Yuck.


We call this the monthly "are women who have sex still people" thread, by the way. It's a trope.
 
Ashley Madison
Vancouver Escorts