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Thread: Who are the Victims? Them or us!

  1. #1
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    Who are the Victims? Them or us!

    Hello everyone! I am new to this board but not new to this hobby, however, an experience this week has made me decide to quit for good!

    I have been involved in this world for over ten years - started a couple of years after getting married. (No kids by the way)

    I have been with girls all over the world. China, Singapore, Hong Kong, Korea, Japan, England, all over the USA and Canada and of course right here in Vancouver. I consider myself a gentleman and don't mind spending money - as I am fortunate to have it. I have had some wonderful encounters however none of them made up for my bad marraige. Until recently.

    I met a woman who found herself stuck in Vancouver in need of money. We really hit it off! Our meetings became very much like real lovers - in fact we did become real lovers. Of course we met mostly at the Agency she works for but did occassionally meet elsewhere. I have probably been with her 20 times over the last 3 months - at 200 a pop that is quite a lot - but as I said - I am fotunate that way. She is a woman trying to put her life together after a bad marriage and is in a strange country. We have had wonderful conversations and speak on the phone everyday. However, today when I went to see her at the agency she was "busy". While waiting, I went to the washroom and heard her in the room with her client "moaning and growning". Of course my heart broke.

    Now many of you men will say I am very silly to get involved or to develop feelings but it can and does happen.

    What I know is that this is a strange underworld of sex and passion and ALL of us involved are sad victims one way or the other.

    I read the postings of girls like Lesley from LE and know that this girl really wants respect - how can this work give it to her. This must be a very difficult work to do. How to stay "professional" while doing the most 'personal" thing. Many of these girls have difficult and complicated lives.

    The men - well some are strange or weird looking for control, too cheap to get a real girl friend or others are like me in bad marriages searching for some kind off distraction or happiness.

    I know something for certain. When I have been in a relationship with someone I love I never never been interested in anyone else. Of course for some of us this hobby just becomes a bad habit!

    After my experience today I relize that what I really want is love and passion not just heavy breathing. I am leaving my wife and will start my search for someone to love. I also think about my wife. I think she feels that I have always been faithful but she knows I have not been happy. She is still young enough to find someone else and she deserves the chance for love as well!

    Well there is my blood on the carpet. Maybe it means something and maybe it doesn't. Nonetheless i am done with this hobby - on to deeper and more meaningful ventures!

    the guy

  2. #2
    Haunting Whispers spaceghost's Avatar
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    Question one is why did you stay married to someone for about 13 years if you were so unhappy, especially if there were no children involved?

  3. #3
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    Wow! What a story! I must say that being in this hobby is no different than people who do drugs, so that they can esacpe the reality for a while. However, after the high is over, then it is back to the bottom and then more. We "rent" happiness/love for an hour or two, so that we can esacpe our own world into the perfect one that we want to be in. Unfortunately, this is not the right fix for pooners who are in this hobby looking for love/passion. Sure, there are some out there who just like to have sex with different women and all, and that's totally cool too. But for the ones who are in it for love, they will get nothing but more sadness and disappointment. Like the saying "money can not buy true love or happiness". All it does, is to give you the moment of feeling loved and happy. I am fortunate enough to find someone that I truly love, and also fall head over heals for each other. I sincerely wish all the lost souls out there, will find a perfect berth for their lonely souls soon too.

  4. #4
    Multi-faceted Member Saffire's Avatar
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    I'm glad to hear you are well and happy blondeluver. Nice to see your name again.
    Saffire

  5. #5
    Haunting Whispers spaceghost's Avatar
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    Love?

    Originally posted by blondeluver
    For the ones who are in it for love...
    Pooners hooking up with Sp's because they are looking for love?

    Oh my!

    Kinda fills the dictionary definition of 'disaster in making' or 'extreme disappointment' doesn't it?

  6. #6
    Ultimate lover
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    Thanks Saffire! Hope all is well with you too!

  7. #7
    Never fall for your SP and never think that she has fallen for you-- The only exception is if she wants to see you at no charge-- then the relationship has changed. I'm guessing that that would be a one in a million situation.

    The best SP will make you feel like you are a champion lover and make you feel special. Just don't confuse it with love.

  8. #8
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    Remember....

    ..... SP"s are human too and can and do fall for there clients. I have been in two long term relationships that started out as buissnes. I do not regret either. Many SP's do what they do for a miriad of reasons. Money, loneliness, excitement and so on. As we as pooners do. I honestly do it cause I love sex alot and I like no or little complications. Truth be told though I am lonely and it does help fill a void albeit temporarily. I have had many great and lasting experiences pooning and some that were not so good. Do I regret them? Not on your life. Will I find my soulmate doing this who knows? Probably not. Stranger things have been known to happen.

  9. #9
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    Unsolicited Advice

    While this is none of my business, and you certainly didn't invite me to get involved, I'm going to poke my nose in it anyway. Thirteen years of marriage is long term by any body's yardstick. Are you really sure it's dead? I know you have wandered sexually many times throughout your marriage and that you now feel that it's over but you have to be sure. Once the lawyers get involved there will be virtually no chance of salvaging it, even if it was easily salvageable before the lawyers got involved.

    Lots of marriages get in trouble. Sometimes the trouble is of such a nature that the very best thing you can do is take it our back and shoot it. Sometimes, however, it can be salvaged. In those cases, both parties are much better of in the long run than they would have been had they both had to start all over again.

    Most marriages are built on a strong foundation but sh@t happens and the foundation erodes. All together too often in my opinion the parties give up and separate and divorce. They don't recognize that help is available if the parties are willing to seek it out. It takes work, time and money and sometimes all of that is not enough. Sometimes, however, the newly constructed foundation is even stronger that the original.

    If a troubled couple wishes to try to resolve the difficulties they should realize that the relationship get into trouble in the first instance with them at the helm. Usually they should not try to steer it out of trouble themselves. A counselor, respected friend, clergyman or whatever can very often provide the third-party assistance required.

    All relationships require maintenance. In my opinion, people just don;t work hard enough to maintain their relationship. But you sound like a person who still admires and respects his wife. Maybe with work you can achieve again the love that you felt on your wedding day. If not, then you have the solace in knowing that you gave the relationship your best shot.

    For what it's worth.

  10. #10
    Ultimate lover
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    Squirrel, I echo your comment about VJ might be a victim herself. I sensed a lot of resentment in her posts about pooners or even just men in general. I also sensed sarcasm towards other SP's as well. My hypothetical conclusion of her is that she either has a double personality, is on medications/drugs of some sort, lack of sleep/rest or simply having a mental breakdown that she has a hard time facing that fact. Go get some professional help VJ or simply stop working for a few days, sit down at a peaceful place and do some self reflection for a while. Most of your posts made no sense at all, and the way you kept posting this way will not help your business either. The pooners wanted to help you but as the saying goes....you can't help the one who refused to recognize their own shortfall and be helped! Have a good journey!

  11. #11
    Cariņoso; Affectueux !!! oberon1999's Avatar
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    Originally posted by blondeluver
    Wow! What a story! I must say that being in this hobby is no different than people who do drugs, so that they can esacpe the reality for a while. However, after the high is over, then it is back to the bottom and then more. We "rent" happiness/love for an hour or two, so that we can esacpe our own world into the perfect one that we want to be in. Unfortunately, this is not the right fix for pooners who are in this hobby looking for love/passion. Sure, there are some out there who just like to have sex with different women and all, and that's totally cool too. But for the ones who are in it for love, they will get nothing but more sadness and disappointment. Like the saying "money can not buy true love or happiness". All it does, is to give you the moment of feeling loved and happy. I am fortunate enough to find someone that I truly love, and also fall head over heals for each other. I sincerely wish all the lost souls out there, will find a perfect berth for their lonely souls soon too.
    This is a true example of how different people can be equally happy in different situations....My situation could not be much more different than blondelover's but I am happy more so than I have been in years... I have a great wife that i love and who understands me (can't ask for much more now can you) and I occassionally see some of the lovely women around here ... reminds me of a line from A Christmas Carol " I don't deserve to be so happy, but I am". It is perhaps not the fairy tale marrage of old but we are both happy (yeah both of us trust me she'd be gone if she was not) and we both can do want we have to to keep ourselves happy, never would have believed it but it works :-)))

    oberon
    Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father.
    Prepare to die.

  12. #12
    Registered User Rock Hard's Avatar
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    Well said

    Well said Squirrel. I think the honesty of this thread should be bronzed and recycled for years. VJ, relax and try to think before you post.

    RH

  13. #13
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    This is to Theguy. I can somewhat sympathise with you. I was seeing a SP for several months in a fairly serious relationship. I would see her ar least 2 or 3 times a week, even stay overnight at her place. Eventually, it ended but it was very difficult. She was Asian, divorced and sort of here on her own (sounds kind of a standard line sometimes). I do not see her anymore but she is still in the business. Good luck.

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