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Thread: my extension visa story...

  1. #1

    my extension visa story...

    Back in '97, I had just broken up for good with a Japanese girl. She was the first girl I had ever truly loved. I still love her to this day. There's nothing between us now except a deep friendship, even to this day. It was tumultous relationship, with a lot of hardship during it. After she went back to Japan, I don't know what it was, but Japanese girls were sniffing me left & right & asking me out on dates, it was sick!

    There was one girl in particular...maybe her "husband" might be a member...if he is...he can go stick his finger where the sun don't shine (because he was a jealous jerk & she was scared of him).

    We met earlier in the year of 1997 while doing "language exchange", a great way to meet people, learn a language, & if you're saavy or with some people, really really desperate, a great way to date women from other countries. Most of the students wanting to learn English at that time were Japanese, Korean & Chinese. I was learning Japanese, so it was only natural that I met many Japanese people.

    Anyway, this girl, I'll call her "ko", because so many Japanese girls' names end with "ko", ie. Junko, Hiroko, etc.

    Ko & I were very comfortable with each other both in a professional scene & in a casual scene. I asked her out one night (without the intention of pursuing a relationship with her) to go to a party. Anyway, after the party, she confronted me & asked me, "What do you think of me?"...I said something like "I think you're a nice girl", yadda yadda. She was like "chigaou" ("wrong" or "I didn't mean it that way"...). So she went out of Japanese character and blurted "Do you like me?" I was stunned. Ko was a really attractive girl & several years older than me (I was 21 & she was 26 I think). I told her I think she's a great girl & all, but I was in no way ready for a relationship at that time. Obviously she was hurt. I had a hard time getting a hold of her shortly thereafter.

    That summer I went to Asia. I left in June & after returning, I thought I'd see how Ko was doing. I passed by her work & found out she was still working there. I returned another day & saw her. She was stunned, but I could tell she was overjoyed (to put it mildly) to see me. She told me she had a boyfriend though. They had met at a party that June (shortly after I left for Asia!)

    We chatted a few times on the phone & each time, she had to hang up when her boyfriend was around. Strange eh? That November (1997), her boyfriend wanted to meet me. She was supposedly in Japan visiting a sick relative. We ended up meeting in a restaurant. He seemed nice & said it was cool for us to be friends. BUT...I called once more after that & he told me they got married! He changed his mind & didn't want me talking to her anymore! He even said on the phone, "You got it?!". I was stunned. I said sure at the time...If it had been now, it would have been a much different situation...

    WTF is the point of this story? Well...here was a girl who was probably out to marry me for a visa...couldn't get me because I was still healing from a previous relationship. She found another guy...who ended up treating her like crap. They supposedly got married & she went back to Japan. I hope she didn't come back to Canada. That jealous bastard can stick five digits where the jungle is lush & the sun don't shine...

    Who knows if she liked me even for a bit for my personality & charm & the fact that I was (& believe that I still am) overall a nice guy.

    So yeah buddy out there, a big FUCK YOU! She might have been a user, but you were an abuser! I HOPE SHE LEFT YOUR SORRY ASS!
    Older Bolder Wiser But Colder

    Keeping it real...ly civil.

    For F*** sakes, think before you post.

  2. #2
    It had nothing to do with slamming the door in her face. It was like she was scared of him. She always had to hang up when he was around & she told me she couldn't say anything about me to him.

    As for being her ex-boyfriend, we didn't even kiss or hold hands before. So, I don't consider her an ex-girlfriend. I don't know what she told him, but in my heart, she was just a friend. All my friends knew that she liked me, but I didn't tell her boyfriend/"husband" any of that. It's not his business.

    I can honestly say this (as I'm Asian), but I've seen many Asians (and other cultures) treat their girlfriends/wives like shit. & I'm not cool with it. I've (foolishly?) stepped in (& almost got arrested) for meting out justice on a husband beating up his wife. Do I regret it? No. Was it foolish? Probably? (He could have had a weapon & or could have beaten me senseless). Would I do it again? Maybe.

    Finally, anyone can flame me on this, but this is my opinion. We're in Canada & beating up on women (or your man) is not a socially acceptable thing to do. From where my ethnic background is from, it is neither, but it's "swept under the rug". Here though...it just ain't cool & that's why we have laws against it.

  3. #3
    You're most likely right. She was a sexy girl though & knew how to dress to please a guy. She wasn't a waif or drugged as so many Japanese girls I see downtown these days. Also, she had a brain (I've met so many Japanese that all they do is snowboard, drink, smoke up, take meth, like WTF?)...

    I rarely see any in clubs & the library is devoid of Japanese compared to before & all the language places are pretty much non-existent, so I don't know where any popular hang-out places are anymore.

    The funny (and annoying/slightly demeaning/angering) thing about it all is that meeting Asian girls began to be a joke.

    Anywhere I volunteered (even after I stopped being SO interested in Japanese culture & it tied hand-in-hand of being interested in Japanese girls)...places were warning Japanese women about "gai-jin"...foreigners & how foreigners wanted Japanese girls & came to those places with the sole intention of picking them up. HELLO! Why do you think some of the girls came there too?! Some went there to pick up foreigner boyfriends & treat us like trophies like some gaijin did.

    My apologies...I'm going on a rant. I needed to blow that off my chest, so to speak. Anyone have any similar stories to agree or refute my observation?

  4. #4
    Funny thing you mentioned that. I knew a Japanese/Canadian guy that did the same thing. His name was Chris. He met a Japanese girl in Vancouver (actually two of them). He dated the first one for quite some time. The second was for fun once his girlfriend went back to Japan. He fooled around with the second one & when he moved to Japan, she didn't know anything about it...until I mentioned it to her...

    I felt bad because I didn't know he was playing around with this second girl & she didn't know that he went off to Japan to get married.

    Anyway, he's now in Sapporo from the last I heard & married to the girl. I guess he got his visa & the second girl got played.

    The biggest thing that pissed me off about this was I wanted to date his plaything, but out of respect (thinking he was a good guy) took his advice that she had a guy she was interested in...which was Chris! She never told me about him...anyway, it's all in the past & that was too f**ked up for my liking anyway.

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