I need to meet your girlfriend; communication 101

KinkyKatey

Member
Apr 21, 2017
651
25
18
Vancouver
I have seen a wonderful gentleman twice now. Both times I thought to myself “wow he is not what I was expecting”, I have just realized why!

When I asked what he wanted to do with our time together he said “I am seeking a non rushed sensual GFE rendezvous with a twist. I'm open to most adventures and might need some of your guidance. I enjoy kissing and hope you do too.”

Well! Spanking (everywhere), biting, hair pulling, cock slapping, facials and more (so much more) had me laying there after feeling like a damn porn star! Being perfectly honest that’s right up my alley, but it does bring up the age old question, what is the difference between gfe and pse? Perhaps we should all talk about the activities we want to partake in and avoid acronyms :p?

Do you like to plan out your get togethers or just wing it and why?

Xo
Katey
 

Dick Ford

The world moves on a woman's hips
Oct 7, 2015
265
206
43
BC Interior
To me GFE just means something more sensual than PSE, with the emphasis on touching, kissing and talking. As for the rest, I prefer to just "let it happen", and keep the element of surprise open.
 

Mr. J

Well-known member
Sep 12, 2019
345
268
63
As far as planning get togethers goes, I find that the majority of planning happens on the first meeting. Naturally, a girl will ask what kinds of things you're into, and then you take it from there. That's usually been the case in my own experiences and I'm sure the same could be said of others.
 

Burgandy

Banned
Oct 16, 2018
89
2
6
Vancouver
I definitely find language around this to be unfortunate. Any activity Imo isn't always hot and is hot in different moments. So while it's a good idea of knowing what you're getting into, it makes every act kind of lifeless because it's not born of passion!
 

Miss Hunter

ProSwitch
Supporting Member
Aug 30, 2013
1,812
1,392
113
Vancouver
I still get requests for GFE. So god only knows what “GFE” means these days. It baffles me how my board presence gives any guy the “I want to book Ms Hunter for a GFE session” urge :noidea:
 

jgg

In the air again.
Apr 14, 2015
2,454
381
83
Varies now
I still get requests for GFE. So god only knows what “GFE” means these days. It baffles me how my board presence gives any guy the “I want to book Ms Hunter for a GFE session” urge :noidea:
It depends on what he wants for a girlfriend?

A lid for every pot.
 

SeekSteadyRegSP

Active member
Feb 9, 2005
762
88
28
I have seen a wonderful gentleman twice now. Both times I thought to myself “wow he is not what I was expecting”, I have just realized why!

When I asked what he wanted to do with our time together he said “I am seeking a non rushed sensual GFE rendezvous with a twist. I'm open to most adventures and might need some of your guidance. I enjoy kissing and hope you do too.”

Well! Spanking (everywhere), biting, hair pulling, cock slapping, facials and more (so much more) had me laying there after feeling like a damn porn star! Being perfectly honest that’s right up my alley, but it does bring up the age old question, what is the difference between gfe and pse? Perhaps we should all talk about the activities we want to partake in and avoid acronyms :p?

Do you like to plan out your get togethers or just wing it and why?

Xo
Katey


Had your SP name been HumbleHelen, then I could better understand your post, but in this case I am guessing this great guy (perhaps eroded like a smooth rock at the beach by both time and {fully pleasant** vanilla sex** )... had interests he'd not fully explored... or thought he had such interests, and wondered about them... (thus the need for your guidance).

YOU didn't expect to be swinging from the chandeliers with him... and he was glad for your experimental ways, while he was genuinely open to being vulnerable to your (guidance) ...


So I think that's why it was so eye-opening.


(planning vs. winging seemed a distant factor in what you describe)


YOU... presented yourself on the board quite accurately... and as a result you drew the interest of somebody who was interested in experimenting.

(some kinks are a function of long-ago misdeeds done onto or around them, where this was likely a vanilla, unaffected person just experimenting... thus perhaps he was more open to whatever you inspired)


(my sense OF) the contrasting client being one who has some fetish/kink that is seared into his psyche, (perhaps as a result of misdoings done unto him years ago), where all he wants to do is ______ on/at you, with the deeply-set-in-his-ways urgency that (I perceive to be more typical of many of your clientele), and which, while usually tolerable, does tend to have you in close proximity with a person who may have quite an edge to him). (take away that edgy persona, and open both parties to true experimentation with eager interest, and it's bound to be eye-opening)


(I'm exaggerating when I say)


This could be as simple as a person in a long relationship where sex is only allowed in bed on Saturday mornings, and occasionally on the couch on Wednesdays after dinner while watching Vanna White... (a person could grow to love that relationship, and be eager for both Wednesdays and Saturdays each week, with plenty of incentive to get him to each. BUT in his mind it might even seem bold or kinky to race home for a quicky at lunch time on a Monday!

I just sense that the decent guy you describe has created a long lifetime of decent normalcy, but that you helped him to explore whatever he thought he didn't know, on the other side... (AND that it was something which was a pleasant alteration for you, with a client not hardwired into his own, narrow kinky needs)
 

Mr Quim

Cunnilingus Connoisseur
Jan 14, 2007
1,700
496
83
The beautiful Fraser Valley !
Had your SP name been HumbleHelen, then I could better understand your post, but in this case I am guessing this great guy (perhaps eroded like a smooth rock at the beach by both time and {fully pleasant** vanilla sex** )... had interests he'd not fully explored... or thought he had such interests, and wondered about them... (thus the need for your guidance).

YOU didn't expect to be swinging from the chandeliers with him... and he was glad for your experimental ways, while he was genuinely open to being vulnerable to your (guidance) ...


So I think that's why it was so eye-opening.


(planning vs. winging seemed a distant factor in what you describe)


YOU... presented yourself on the board quite accurately... and as a result you drew the interest of somebody who was interested in experimenting.

(some kinks are a function of long-ago misdeeds done onto or around them, where this was likely a vanilla, unaffected person just experimenting... thus perhaps he was more open to whatever you inspired)


(my sense OF) the contrasting client being one who has some fetish/kink that is seared into his psyche, (perhaps as a result of misdoings done unto him years ago), where all he wants to do is ______ on/at you, with the deeply-set-in-his-ways urgency that (I perceive to be more typical of many of your clientele), and which, while usually tolerable, does tend to have you in close proximity with a person who may have quite an edge to him). (take away that edgy persona, and open both parties to true experimentation with eager interest, and it's bound to be eye-opening)


(I'm exaggerating when I say)


This could be as simple as a person in a long relationship where sex is only allowed in bed on Saturday mornings, and occasionally on the couch on Wednesdays after dinner while watching Vanna White... (a person could grow to love that relationship, and be eager for both Wednesdays and Saturdays each week, with plenty of incentive to get him to each. BUT in his mind it might even seem bold or kinky to race home for a quicky at lunch time on a Monday!

I just sense that the decent guy you describe has created a long lifetime of decent normalcy, but that you helped him to explore whatever he thought he didn't know, on the other side... (AND that it was something which was a pleasant alteration for you, with a client not hardwired into his own, narrow kinky needs)



I think SSR-SP has the most well rounded, comprehensive assessment of your Situation !

Your Client approached You as Kinky Katy, and I'd assume thought You'd be well versed in this Area, with all sorts of Ideas .

At least He didn't surprise You, with something He thought You might enjoy .

Surprises can sometimes, go so wrong, so fast !
Case in point...


With a little background on Fantasies .

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/0zj_r3TkmXQ" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ar2OTYKXnww" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Mr Q.
 
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KinkyKatey

Member
Apr 21, 2017
651
25
18
Vancouver
Hm interesting take on the situation from SSR-SP and Mr. Quim.

The time spent was most certainly pleasing for both parties involved and I tip my hat, however I was more so pointing out the difference between what was said and what was done. I did not mean he wasn’t what I was expecting in comparison to the gentleman I usually see as it is all over the map and most are pretty wonderful in different ways.

For example I do provide sensual and passionate get togethers, dfk, licking chocolate off each other, candles and the whole nine yards, I also provide all the things I am better known for such as fetish, group sex, bdsm, rough play and even the more taboo fantasy mentioned in the video. The game plan is usually planned out and until now fantasies are typically more pse/bdsm like than their reality.

So when he said gfe, I was expecting a very slow sensual encounter, while it certainly had a lot of passion, I have never been able to get a SO to fuck me like that.

Xo
Katey
 

SeekSteadyRegSP

Active member
Feb 9, 2005
762
88
28
Thanks for the additional clarity.

(deep, contemplative breath) OK, had your name been HumbleHelen, it would be less important that your sessions should be planned out... for I (guess, as an amateur guesser here) there needs to be a safe word with some of your typical shared activities, and some of the things are SO unique that to plan them is the only way they can be performed effectively.

In this case, it was a curious client without a plan... and you were perhaps disarmed of your concerns (for his mild-ish personality)... SO you sought discovery together, and without a plan.


HE was drawn to YOU (and not HumbleHelen) beCAUSE of the perceived wider realm of your capabilities while you were comforted by him and his lack of a more-typical edge to him. You each relaxed in a way, leaving things in the hands of the other.


(the most adorable-in-a-sense sexual kink I've heard online was a woman who had a client who wanted her to disrobe with him, and (her) hurl oranges as hard as she could at his naked self)


I don't imagine it takes much planning per se... BUT it certainly isn't something with which you surprise somebody, perhaps even IF you are the target (while the surprise is on the thrower ).


You... let your guard down... and he... had his curiosity UP... and it was a grand connection/match.


(but his lack of an edge to him may indeed have been central to {what inspired you to drop your defenses to some degree** {to where you could share more vulnerability than usual, and be moved by the experience**
 

Mr Quim

Cunnilingus Connoisseur
Jan 14, 2007
1,700
496
83
The beautiful Fraser Valley !


So when he said gfe, I was expecting a very slow sensual encounter, while it certainly had a lot of passion, I have never been able to get a SO to fuck me like that.

Xo
Katey



That Statement has me curious Katey...

It almost seems like the professional Adventures, exceed the real Ones ?
Which I guess, isn't really unimaginable .

I still think He was trying to get You to teach Him how to "Walk this Way" ! LOL


Mr Q.
 

KinkyKatey

Member
Apr 21, 2017
651
25
18
Vancouver
[/B]


That Statement has me curious Katey...

It almost seems like the professional Adventures, exceed the real Ones ?
Which I guess, isn't really unimaginable .

I still think He was trying to get You to teach Him how to "Walk this Way" ! LOL


Mr Q.
Indeed the professional adventures exceed the real ones by far, to be fair I haven’t had much experience with men outside of this. There were three, the one I shared my V card with that got me addicted to sex with his naughty ways (One of my favourites to this day, still chasing that dragon!). Then the two others that after a month in couldn’t do the things I liked because they “loved me” or were scared it would change the way I felt about them in our relationship.

Sex with a lovely man from leolist or perb can be primal and with no pretext, nothing but indulging in each others desires, no fear of judgement or permanently shifted balance of power.

Xo
Katey
 

theimp

Active member
Aug 19, 2015
190
94
28
Everybody is kinky, in some way. I love to please and pamper, but for me, that means getting into a womans head, discovering her fantasies and desires, and bringing them to life. In my experiences (so far) everyone has kinky fantasies. Even my last wife, who was very, vanilla, loved sneaky, public sex. My last serious girlfriend, started out (seemingly) demure and somewhat, unimaginative, but turned out to be a delightfully twisted individual, who ultimately, stretched my boundaries. Dating has definitely changed, in the last ten years. I find women to be much more open, about their needs, although I believe porn has influenced this, in a big way. Choking, ass slapping and other forms of dominance, have become common, requests, and Greek is now, mainstream,
My point is, if the boundaries of "gfe" are being stretched, in real life, it is reasonable to think, the lines will blur in the professional arena. So far, all of my sessions have blurred the lines between "gfe" and "pse". The terms are, essentially, meaningless, and can be missleading.
 
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