Hookup apps, do they work here?

Why does finding hookups in Vancouver suck?

  • Vancouver is awful

    Votes: 27 79.4%
  • We don't use Tinder here, try a different app

    Votes: 1 2.9%
  • People mostly hook up offline here (e.g. at clubs)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • They're on there, you just aren't reading between the lines

    Votes: 6 17.6%

  • Total voters
    34

greythings20

Member
Jan 16, 2017
86
37
18
Maybe this is the wrong crowd to ask about alternatives to pooning, but eh, who else am I gonna ask :heh:

I've noticed that, using Tinder in Vancouver, it's really rare to run into a girl's profile that actually seems like the girl made it to search for hook-ups. More often than not, the profile will explicitly say "no hookups, ltr only!" or something similar. (Which, I mean, it's Tinder! Are they crazy?)

I've visited other countries, and it's really different pretty much anywhere else. You'll easily find quite a few "female lotharios" in any dating/hookup app who are very up-front on their profiles about wanting nothing more than a quick lay. Now, whether you can actually match with them/get their attention/etc. is, of course, another story. But here, I don't even see them!

Is this just the way it is with Vancouver's hookup "market", or am I just using the wrong app/service/site? There are, of course, ladies who like casual sex in any place, just like there are dudes who like casual sex in any place. Are they just... doing something else to find it here? Because it sure doesn't seem like they're looking online.
 

D12

Active member
Dec 20, 2012
273
40
28
It’s all in your approach I have used both POF and tinder in Victoria and hooked up with quite a few girls over the years. When I’m chatting I never bring up sex I just chat until the conversation gets more flirty and once it turns to sexting then the possibility really opens up. In the situations when sex did occur I was alway honest about my intentions so there was no hurt feelings. So I guess is what I’m saying is if you use the apps don’t ask girls for sex let it come up more naturally
 
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greythings20

Member
Jan 16, 2017
86
37
18
I'm not saying you can't, with sufficient effort, convince a girl who wasn't initially looking for a hookup, to be interested in a hookup. But, I mean, if you're looking to convince girls who aren't already looking for hookups that they should hook up with you, you may as well do that on a regular LTR dating site, or in a bar, or on the street, and you'll have to learn all that PUA stuff. You're "going in cold", and so the hook-up app didn't really do its job (i.e. to help you to hook up) at all; it just served as a place where you can send messages to people.

The difference between a "dating site/app" and a "hook-up site/app", IMHO, is precisely that a hook-up site/app has, besides all the regular people who you'd have to "cold" approach, a bunch of shallow horny people (of both genders) who are explicitly looking for other shallow horny people (of their preferred gender), and who you can therefore "warm" approach. A functional hook-up app, when you find the right person, works less like meeting someone on the street, and more like meeting someone at an orgy when you're both already naked. You and they both know that you were touching yourselves while browsing the app. You and they both know you'd rather have each-other's help getting off. There's a sense of mutual urgency, that smooths everything out.

A functional hook-up app looks like Grindr: one gay dude messages another, they agree within 5-10 minutes on a place to meet, and they get it on. I'm not in Grindr's intended audience, but I've seen it work for friends of mine with all the ease of ordering a pizza. And it works just as well in Vancouver as it does anywhere else.

And, in other cities, Tinder is a functional hook-up app, just like Grindr is. I've personally experienced this—in Seattle, in Toronto, in New York, and in a few other places. (I've also had success with other similar apps in places where Tinder isn't well-known; Badoo works well in South Africa, for example.) There certainly aren't near as many choices, but there's still some women who are up for quick anonymous hook-ups with dudes they find hot, and so—assuming your profile is attractive-enough that you can match with one of these "pre-warmed" ladies—you'll be able to hook up with pizza-ordering ease just as well.

Now, to restate my question, hopefully more clearly: Tinder in Vancouver seems to have none of these "antsy to just hook up already, and wants that to be clear up-front" women on it. Is that because these women don't exist in Vancouver; or do they just not use Tinder, and get their rocks off some other way; or what?

I should point out that around ten years ago, Vancouver's Craigslist Personals section was full of actual women wanting to hook up. That really worked well for me. There weren't so many real women posting ads (the w4m ads being mostly phishing scams), but there were tons of real, desperately-horny women quietly browsing the m4w ads and replying to the ones that caught their eye. Sadly, the traffic there started to die off long before Craigslist killed their Personals feature. (I would expect that some of these women moved to apps like Tinder or POF, but I sure can't find 'em there.)
 
Last edited:

felixthecat

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2011
1,581
34
48
am I just using the wrong app/service/site?
Yes, you are using a wrong site. PERB is for people who prefer a straightforward transactional approach. People who are perfectly happy with hookup apps are not likely to spend time here.
 

Johnnydarkdoe

Blue Moon Bandit
Dec 6, 2014
157
71
28
Vancouver
Just going by my millennial experiences, Tinder is a waste if you do not look ideal. I had a profile when I was in University 5 years ago. At first, I swiped the girls I was interested in and I got like a match about once a week, but rarely would I get a response. I’m a very average looking guy with some immigrant features, so I used photoshop to square up my jaw, blue my eyes, blond up my hair and lighten my complexion a couple of shades and all of a sudden I start getting matches and replies. I never went through with any meets, because it was super depressing.
 

volvoguy1979

Member
Nov 4, 2017
96
3
8
Thank you OP for posting this thread.
I posted something similar a couple of weeks ago, but since this site is mostly about/for SP's and their "clients", it was deleted.

Personally I haven't tried tinder etc as I'm in a relationship, but I recently got on AM.
So far, that seems to be the best way to go for random hookups. The two females despite being very willing, I was not that keen on (actually just enjoyed meeting up, flirting and the interaction).

Regardless, it they were both great experiences and I actually prefer it over the SP interaction (paying by the hour/clock watchers etc.).
Does this mean I won't bother with SP's anymore? possibly. I just don't get the fulfillment from SP's like I used to.

...everyone's different.
 

Chessmen

Active member
Dec 4, 2013
717
94
28
Just going by my millennial experiences, Tinder is a waste if you do not look ideal. I had a profile when I was in University 5 years ago. At first, I swiped the girls I was interested in and I got like a match about once a week, but rarely would I get a response. I’m a very average looking guy with some immigrant features, so I used photoshop to square up my jaw, blue my eyes, blond up my hair and lighten my complexion a couple of shades and all of a sudden I start getting matches and replies. I never went through with any meets, because it was super depressing.
dang that is rough. What do you mean by immigrant features? such as non-white or Asian/ Middle-Eastern? if that is the case, perhaps it is Asian women or ones who are immigrants themselves have their own local versions and don't use apps like Tinder
 

Johnnydarkdoe

Blue Moon Bandit
Dec 6, 2014
157
71
28
Vancouver
I have dark skin, black eyes, thick black curly hair and I’m 5’8”. There may be Asian Tinder, but I don’t know what that is. If I was overweight, had a skin condition or something else that puts off our lizard brains, I think I would get the same result. That’s a problem with Tinder, in it asks us for a snap decision and plays to our biases. In the real world, women are constantly being hit on, so why would they settle for anything other than their ideal when they have the power of choice. Also, if you’re a really good looking guy and you have 20 girls messaging you, are you not going to sleep with all 20?
 

Forum mod

Moderator
Jan 1, 2018
2,350
9,352
113
Tinder, just about anywhere:

80% scam artists, wanting you to join another site, where they happen to need your credit card. Or a "cam model" who will meet with you if you meet her condition, namely joining a cam site you never heard of to vote her up and of course, they need your credit card. It's never chaturbate, myfreecams either, but CAMSLUT and it's in Russia, but she's right around the corner. Or they list their snapchat or IG and want you to connect there, those are never legit either, but a promo to buy premium snap or onlyfans or other paid service where you are not getting laid. And a host of lisa/emma/zoeys who are all 22 and don't exist.

10% sugar babies, most of whom just want you to send money and never meet or strictly platonic. Spoiled millennial idiots for the most part who have no clue and want money for nothing, with the odd SP thrown in who you can find easier on LL or elsewhere.

10% real people, but this group is so gunshy because of the first group that they hardly ever do anything other than kill time with the app.

Bumble is slightly better, but very few ladies ever make the first move to message so the matches die. Hinge, Happn and the others are similarly crap.

If you want a hookup, pay for it and remove the effort and frustration. It does not matter what city, Toronto is slightly better than Vancouver, bigger US cities are slightly better, but not much.
 

D12

Active member
Dec 20, 2012
273
40
28
Thank you OP for posting this thread.
I posted something similar a couple of weeks ago, but since this site is mostly about/for SP's and their "clients", it was deleted.

Personally I haven't tried tinder etc as I'm in a relationship, but I recently got on AM.
So far, that seems to be the best way to go for random hookups. The two females despite being very willing, I was not that keen on (actually just enjoyed meeting up, flirting and the interaction).

Regardless, it they were both great experiences and I actually prefer it over the SP interaction (paying by the hour/clock watchers etc.).
Does this mean I won't bother with SP's anymore? possibly. I just don't get the fulfillment from SP's like I used to.

...everyone's different.
What is AM
 

joho

Active member
Jan 22, 2007
703
31
28
Any opinion on secretbenefits?
Tinder, just about anywhere:

80% scam artists, wanting you to join another site, where they happen to need your credit card. Or a "cam model" who will meet with you if you meet her condition, namely joining a cam site you never heard of to vote her up and of course, they need your credit card. It's never chaturbate, myfreecams either, but CAMSLUT and it's in Russia, but she's right around the corner. Or they list their snapchat or IG and want you to connect there, those are never legit either, but a promo to buy premium snap or onlyfans or other paid service where you are not getting laid. And a host of lisa/emma/zoeys who are all 22 and don't exist.

10% sugar babies, most of whom just want you to send money and never meet or strictly platonic. Spoiled millennial idiots for the most part who have no clue and want money for nothing, with the odd SP thrown in who you can find easier on LL or elsewhere.

10% real people, but this group is so gunshy because of the first group that they hardly ever do anything other than kill time with the app.

Bumble is slightly better, but very few ladies ever make the first move to message so the matches die. Hinge, Happn and the others are similarly crap.

If you want a hookup, pay for it and remove the effort and frustration. It does not matter what city, Toronto is slightly better than Vancouver, bigger US cities are slightly better, but not much.
 

Sinset

Down With the Thiccness 🤘
Dec 27, 2013
133
17
18
Vancouver
twitter.com
Any opinion on secretbenefits?
Bullshit imo. 2 or so years ago I signed up and noticed an SP I've seen on LL with an ad on there (who I've now seen quite a few times). I asked her about her profile on secret benefits... she didn't even know what the site was lol. It seems they scraped some data from LL to create fake profiles on SB.
 

Finewine60

Active member
Jan 20, 2019
323
65
28
Bullshit imo. 2 or so years ago I signed up and noticed an SP I've seen on LL with an ad on there (who I've now seen quite a few times). I asked her about her profile on secret benefits... she didn't even know what the site was lol. It seems they scraped some data from LL to create fake profiles on SB.
I was on Secret benefits for a year and a waist of time.
Here are the reasons
Many girls will answer your first few emails
Then they leave the site after a few days
I finally chatted with a few girls see below about email, and ask why do you leave so quickly and they said to many weird men
So I posted an ad as a girl to see what would happen and holly shit weird men or what
Here’s some examples of the first email, and no introduction just a one liner
Do you do anal
I want to have sex tonight
I have a big boat let’s go for a ride
Not even an introduction
And on and on.
Next back to being a guy
I would get a lot of messages from women in Seattle
I complained to management about fake ads and of course they swore no fake ads.
So I am off the site now only met three girls in a year.
One wanted money and wanted sex, so that was good!the other two were, my mother told me not to have sex before marriage.
Really then why are we chatting!
There were lots of girls as mentioned in another post who want you to send money
One girl said $50 for coffee. WTF
So secret benefits is a big no
The only trick I learned is to send your email or text me app phone number in the first email
Then you can keep chatting when they leave the site.
I noticed before I left the site it used to say when they were last online, for example a day ago or a week ago and so on,
The site no longer says when the girls were last online unless you have texted them before.
So another trick watch the site and see how often the girls are online
Maybe the first four or five have been online in the last few days
 

thorson

Member
Oct 23, 2015
31
4
8
what about websites any good ones out there i have tried AFF its not bad if you are younger lol tried SB didnt find it to bad never respond to someone who approaches you, you make the first move also only buy credits when they offer a bonus amount, ashley madison is a joke,
 

jgg

In the air again.
Apr 14, 2015
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