I feel ya man. I’ve had that happen a few times as well. I’m about 6.5” around (circumference), and it’s the girth that’s scares most girls away. As much as I’d love to go wreck a little Korean girl, they won’t even see me due to my heritage, before they even meet junior. But I’ve made due with who will accept the size (mostly white girls). And I have found really pricey well reviewed girls generally are more discerning with size as well. Massage parlours with higher mileage women can have a good hit rate.
WRT the condom question, I usually try to pack an unopened 2-pack box of XXL and allow the girl to open them up and roll one on, that has helped with any resistance against using only her supplied rubbers.