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Thread: I apologise!

  1. #1
    Regular Member
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    3,794

    I apologise!

    Over the past year I have found that the Lounge seems to have become a place less tolerant of opposing points of view.
    Rather than an intelligent exchange of ideas and opinions many of the conversations include either obvious or veiled insults or condescending comments towards other members.
    I have been guilty of this myself and I apologise to anyone who I may have insulted.
    The world today seems to be full of so much hate and this is evident on many social media platforms or chat rooms. Unfortunately in the on-line world there are too many people who think they are the smartest person in the room and are more than happy to spend their lives trying to prove it.
    I would like to think our little community can be better. Perb should and can be a safe place we can all express our thoughts, no matter how they may differ from other's points of view, without being insulted or talked down to.
    I for one an going to try to be better and again I apologise for anything I may have said that insulted or made anyone feel uncomfortable.
    We can be better.
    Cheers
    J
    Y'all come back now,
    Y'hear?

  2. #2
    Hi all,

    I for example, refrained a great many times to pitch in with reviews and comments due to the fear of being el-kabonged.

    Perhaps I'll try to participate.

    OTT

  3. #3
    Time for a reminder.

    #1
    Fred Zed Fred Zed is invisible
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    Fred Zed's Avatar Join Date
    May 2002
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    UP ABOVE SMILING
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    A very important message from PERB
    Ok as we are getting settled into 2018 I want to go over some of our new year resolutions over here at PERB. As mentioned previously, we are going to have increased moderation on the forums this year. The reason being, we are getting many many complaints from members about the very hostile environment from both trolls and senior members on this board. The flame throwing and insults are going to stop, and I don’t care if we have to hand out bannings like lollipops. Its going to stop. Concerns :

    1) Using this or other review boards as a threat or blackmail to obtain services that the girl doesn’t provide or to get back at her for any reason. You will be banned permanently, no matter how long you have been a member here.

    2) When a new member asks a question, no matter how silly it might seem to you, anybody answering him sarcastically or in an unwelcoming, degrading or condescending manner you will be banned., and I don’t care how long you have been on this board. EVERYONE started at post number 1 and newbies should not feel unwelcomed here. It is crucial for the long term health of the forum.

    3) Jumping all over reviews because you don’t agree with them or suspect them of being a shill. It’s the reviewer’s opinion, you weren’t there. Guys that openly call out shills will be banned. If you don’t agree with it, don’t book the lady but keep the comments to yourself or communicate to your buddies by PMs. Guys are afraid to post reviews here for the fear of being flamed. Shills are always evident, members are not stupid, there is no need for you to comment. You might be scaring off a legitimate reviewer.

    4) Calling somebody a White Knight because he happened to have had a good time with a lady that got a negative review. Reviews are open to everyone for comment. A negative review is not only for everyone to comment who also had a bad experience. That’s ridiculous. Review comments are open to everyone, a member should not be afraid to give his experience no matter what it was, for the fear of being flamed.

    5) Reviews are to be informative, truthful and written respectfully without trying to degrade or hurt the SP. Guys that write comments because they have a vendetta or an axe to grind will be banned.

    6) The overall tone in the lounge must change. There are too many trolls and guys with sour attitudes. Take your negativity, and abusive nature elsewhere. Guys that attack other members will be banned.

    Sounds ambitious? I don’t think so. With increased moderation and your help, we can make this the best online community in Canada. How can you help ? FLAG POSTS THAT BREAK OUR GOALS ABOVE. Don’t be afraid to flag a post. It alerts the mods and we will deal with it asap. On the bottom of every post there is a little symbol in the shape of a triangle. Click on the triangle and voice your concern.

    We have moderators for a reason. Don't take matters into your own hands and attack the original poster, that will lead to you being banned. Flag the post, let the mods do their jobs
    "Oh, so they have internet on computers now!" - Homer
    ______________________________________________
    Fred Zed\Administrator

  4. #4
    Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jethro Bodine View Post
    Over the past year I have found that the Lounge seems to have become a place less tolerant of opposing points of view.
    Rather than an intelligent exchange of ideas and opinions many of the conversations include either obvious or veiled insults or condescending comments towards other members.
    I have been guilty of this myself and I apologise to anyone who I may have insulted.
    The world today seems to be full of so much hate and this is evident on many social media platforms or chat rooms. Unfortunately in the on-line world there are too many people who think they are the smartest person in the room and are more than happy to spend their lives trying to prove it.
    I would like to think our little community can be better. Perb should and can be a safe place we can all express our thoughts, no matter how they may differ from other's points of view, without being insulted or talked down to.
    I for one an going to try to be better and again I apologise for anything I may have said that insulted or made anyone feel uncomfortable.
    We can be better.
    Cheers
    J
    Jethro....I've always found you too be fairly tolerant, until things go sideways, then you may express your point of view.
    I may be guilty of getting to aggressive at times myself around here.....as has been pointed out to me by the management on many occasions....but I've found that things, in my opinion are getting better, which is obvious if you view the Perbatory thread.
    We are all guilty, for the most part, of saying something that at least, may be taken the wrong way, or in an unintended light.
    Elsi, ...I apologize for requesting boob shots about once a month, and being lazy.....they're all over the Internet , so I guess I should get off my ass ,and find them myself for a change.

    As Garth says....."the world is big enough for all points of view"

  5. #5
    Read my "Reminder: Males have human feelings and emotions too" thread.

    It's 2019. Just because we're male, doesn't mean that we have to bleed internally (figuratively), and be so macho and "pretend that isn't affecting us." We don't have to internalize everything, anymore.

    We're not going to take it anymore.

  6. #6
    It's been said, that when one says something unkind to someone, that is like pounding a nail into a wooden fence.

    Apologizing afterwards is like pulling the nail out. The nail is removed, but it still leaves a permanent hole.

  7. #7
    Another angle to consider:

    I think that many people are fine with having a discussion where they disagree, if it could be kept one-on-one.

    Unfortunately, on a discussion board, it is feeling GANG TACKLED by the opposing view, that makes people wary about posting their opinions.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Jethro Bodine View Post
    Over the past year I have found that the Lounge seems to have become a place less tolerant of opposing points of view.
    Rather than an intelligent exchange of ideas and opinions many of the conversations include either obvious or veiled insults or condescending comments towards other members.
    I have been guilty of this myself and I apologise to anyone who I may have insulted.
    The world today seems to be full of so much hate and this is evident on many social media platforms or chat rooms. Unfortunately in the on-line world there are too many people who think they are the smartest person in the room and are more than happy to spend their lives trying to prove it.
    I would like to think our little community can be better. Perb should and can be a safe place we can all express our thoughts, no matter how they may differ from other's points of view, without being insulted or talked down to.
    I for one an going to try to be better and again I apologise for anything I may have said that insulted or made anyone feel uncomfortable.
    We can be better.
    Cheers
    J
    100% agreed

  9. #9
    High Priestess
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    Since my return to the lounge, I have nothing to apologize for. It's difficult to express tone over the internet and I prefer to speak my mind (it saves me from the discomforts of cognitive dissonance) so it's expected some posts will get taken out of context. But, at the same time, I don't mind when anyone expresses a difference of opinion towards me on the forum or during PM chats. Of course, when it comes to business, I have strict rules and I expect potential clients to obey them, but when it comes to internet chat, I'm a pretty difficult person to offend.
    Downtown Vancouver & Richmond
    604-618-5075 TEXT ONLY
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    Twitter @DeviousMissH

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Tim McGee View Post
    It's been said, that when one says something unkind to someone, that is like pounding a nail into a wooden fence.

    Apologizing afterwards is like pulling the nail out. The nail is removed, but it still leaves a permanent hole.
    I’ve always taken apologies at face value & don’t see how it can hurt more hearing an apology. I believe it shows that you are significant enough for the person to apologize. It’s not easy for some to admit they were wrong & say sorry. I hope you feel better soon! I would advise maybe seek professional help/counselling.

  11. #11
    One may have thick skin, but one shouldn't automatically expect that other will have the same thickness of skin.

    Also, some people take things more personally than others.

    I make no secret, that I dislike the aggressive New York City culture. Too aggressive. I would never survive there, and I am not ashamed of that at all.

  12. #12
    Slutty slut
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
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    503
    I think I had a thing I wrote up and expertly formatted with citations and everything about what makes a good apology and what apologies do more harm than good but that's disappeared without comment or constructive criticism. I thought maybe it was being cleaned or something but maybe it never happened. I could be wrong, but who's to say.

    Mistakes were made.

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