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Dodged a Bullet, Or Missed a Great Experience?

Cock Throppled

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Oct 1, 2003
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Had a weird experience recently.

I booked via text, with an SP I'd never seen before, to an area I'm unfamiliar with.

I decided to print out a map of the area as a guide, just in case.

Gave myself extra time, but still got lost. Checked the map a few times, drove round and round, and still couldn't even find the right streets. I stopped and googled, thought I'd got my bearings, and was still lost.

Texted the SP to try to get directions, and was ghosted. Texted a few times with no response, so left to get some lunch.

About 1 hour after the scheduled date, I get a text asking where I was. She waited a full hour AFTER the scheduled time to wonder where I was?

I ignored it, and figure I might have dodged a bullet. She texted a few more times, and I told her I couldn't find her place. No ill-intent on my part, but I was really lost. She probably thought I was being a dick.

As I was leaving the area, I accidentally stumbled on her street, kilometers from where I was originally looking. Streets had changed, others added, some erased as construction took over. My mistake was missing a new street, and continuing down one that led me away from where I wanted to be.

Shit happens. No plan B, but I saved some money, had a nice lunch and finished a crossword puzzle.
 

nightswhisper

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Feb 20, 2016
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I am guessing you were in Surrey and ran into one of those streets split in two by main boulevards?

The possibility of this sucking is awful. Dodged a bombshell.
 

felixthecat

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Aug 28, 2011
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About 1 hour after the scheduled date, I get a text asking where I was. She waited a full hour AFTER the scheduled time to wonder where I was?

I ignored it, and figure I might have dodged a bullet. She texted a few more times, and I told her I couldn't find her place.
Either you dodged a bullet, or she dodged a bullet, or you both could have had a good time but sucked at communication.

It's pretty much your fault you didn't make it to the location on time, sorry. These days I see no excuse going to an unknown place without a navigation helper (a smartphone + maps work just fine). The costs are quite small comparing to WOT costs in a situation like this.

She should have replied sooner, but it's not a solution for the situation you were responsible for. She was in no position to give you directions from an unknown location you were at. She's also allowed to spend time preparing and not checking her phone constantly until close to the appointment time (when it's too late to get you back on schedule).

Then it looks you failed to communicate twice: one time when you finally decided you are not waiting, and second time when you ignored her message. It did not cost much to respect her time a little, especially as you should realize you were at fault.

I suspect situations like this happen amazingly often, leaving the both parties disappointed, when in fact both could have improved the situation with a little more communication.

Now, things happen. I was lost myself a couple of years ago when my GPS failed, and couldn't text while driving. The best was to realize the situation was screwed, and I needed to own it. I got there late and couldn't complain the experience was so-so. She lied about having time for the full arranged duration, which wasn't nice. Still, I didn't feel particularly bad. It is not that difficult to stay positive when you know when to adjust your expectations and own your part. Given the spoiled mood for everyone, another fair approach would be to bring her a reasonable cancellation fee and walk.
 

Cock Throppled

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Oct 1, 2003
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You either didn't read my post, or chose to ignore the points I made that you ignored. I had a map. I googled. She didn't communicate at anytime until the hour after the booked time. I ignored her late response because she ignored my text sent just before the session time. Wouldn't you think she'd be eager at that time to know why I was texting?

And who do you know, in this day and age who isn't glued to their phone 24 hours a day? ..."preparing and not checking her phone constantly until close to the appointment time (when it's too late to get you back on schedule)."

I also failed to mention that I had to drive almost and hour and a half. I sent a confirmation text that morning, and texted again when I was on my way. I did not receive any acknowlegement to either text.

Not getting a confirmation reply, but going anyway was my original mistake, so who didn't respect who's time?
 

felixthecat

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Aug 28, 2011
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You either didn't read my post, or chose to ignore the points I made that you ignored. I had a map. I googled.
My reply was based on all the information. You described the situation in great detail, unbiased as the facts go - I have to give you that. Not so unbiased on assigning the blame.

Having a map printed out is not nearly as efficient as a navigator giving you directions from your current location. That's why I thought you could do better.

Even if there were objective reasons for being late (traffic, etc.), the basic fact is it's your responsibility to be at the agreed place & time. If you failed, you either own it or you are a WOT client. Her actions don't change it. She can be wrong too - at least when she didn't reply by the scheduled time. Personally, I feel happier and in more control when I consider my actions to be more important than what other people may or may not be doing wrong.
 

licks2nite

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Nov 30, 2006
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Don't want to think that I can't find my way around town to a strange address with anything more than a napkin with a hand drawn map that I copied from Google Maps, if that much.
 

felixthecat

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Aug 28, 2011
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Don't want to think that I can't find my way around town to a strange address with anything more than a napkin with a hand drawn map that I copied from Google Maps, if that much.
Good for you. I remember being in the right area and then mixing up W. Hastings and E. Hastings, or 6th Street and 6th Avenue. Navigational skills are not the most important for the purpose of this thread, I think.
 

Cock Throppled

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Oct 1, 2003
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Having a map printed out is not nearly as efficient as a navigator giving you directions from your current location. That's why I thought you could do better.
.
Yeah, I suppose I should have stopped somewhere to buy a SatNav on the way over.

Did you miss the part where I said even google had the wrong information, and the actual layout of streets only showed on street view?

Frankly if an SP fails to respond to three separate texts over a three hour period, she doesn't want the business, and I responded in kind by not wasting any more of my time.

Part of being a professional at anything is being responsive and attentive to clients.

It's often noted here that the best SP's are quick and easy to respond to communication.

This SP was anything but professional.

I have no obligation to any business that won't respond.
 

masonjar

Large Member
Jan 29, 2019
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The right thing to do was to stop immediately and buy a military grade navigation system that cannot make any mistakes. You obviously really suck.

You dodged a bullet.
 

felixthecat

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Aug 28, 2011
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Did you miss the part where I said even google had the wrong information, and the actual layout of streets only showed on street view?
I did not miss it, as you didn't say it explicitly. It changes nothing. If you think you had an appointment, it's your responsibility to make it. Try complaining to a lawyer or a dentist you missed your appointment time because Google failed you. It would be your fault and you'd pay a no-show fee.

There are two approaches you can take: pretend you were perfect, or get the feedback and think what you could do differently. Think what works for you better long-term: hoping you deal with a perfect pro, or learning to deal with imperfections.

No reply to confirmation text means it is not confirmed.
You can take that stance, in which case it makes no sense to drive 1.5 hrs to the appointment.

My main advice for good communication is to send one extra confirmation/message than you'd think is necessary, and also tell about any change or expectation coming from you.

Like in this case:
  • If the booking ended with words "see you at ... day at ... time", she may expect no extra confirmation. Despite what one may think, people have life, other jobs, appointments, and not expected to be on their phone 24x7.
  • If you need a confirmation, better warn in advance: "I'll confirm around 9am on the day".
  • When asking for a confirmation, allow plenty of time to reply so that you can decide if the appointment is on. An hour, at least.
  • If no quick reply, perhaps send an extra message: "Please confirm, it is a long drive. If you don't reply in 30 min, I'll consider the appointment cancelled".
  • Once you decided you are not going, it's a simple courtesy to say "As I didn't get a confirmation, I consider this appointment cancelled. Hope you are ok." She may be still not at fault, if it's an emergency / broken phone / etc.

In most cases, it won't get this involved as she'd reply. But if not, you at least know you were polite, not a WOT, and saved everybody's time with a little extra effort.
 

felixthecat

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Aug 28, 2011
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what's the big deal? It's not like you were going to write a review is it?
OP correctly assumed he looked like a dick from the SP's perspective. Not a great setup for a review.

Which does not mean the SP was professional. Shit happens, people are imperfect, we can deal with it better.
 

clu

Active member
Oct 3, 2010
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I'm assuming the subject is rhetorical. :) You give specific details to support "dodged a bullet" but none to support "missed a great experience". There's only one viable conclusion.
 

Cock Throppled

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Oct 1, 2003
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My main advice for good communication is to send one extra confirmation/message than you'd think is necessary, and also tell about any change or expectation coming from you.

In most cases, it won't get this involved as she'd reply. But if not, you at least know you were polite, not a WOT, and saved everybody's time with a little extra effort.
I've heard of white knights, but then are the plain delusional.

After we'd arranged the date SHE told me to send a confirmation the next morning. Whose fault is it she didn't respond? It was my mistake to travel anyway, but that's where my responsibility ended if she flaked, whether I got lost or not.

Apparently you think it's normal for an SP, who "might not check her phone constantly" to also not notice a client hasn't arrived, or hasn't been with her for the entire duration of the appointment, before she decides to check her phone and text the missing person.
 

ExpCharlee

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I also failed to mention that I had to drive almost and hour and a half. I sent a confirmation text that morning, and texted again when I was on my way. I did not receive any acknowlegement to either text.
ok that's a PRETTY FUCKIN IMPORTANT POINT THERE BUD lol
you hadn't confirmed the booking and you still drove an hour and a half? I mean.......................sorry but........................................................
ugh I've been told I can't call people names anymore. maybe if I just call you a silly guy I'll get away with it? You're a SILLY GUY, Cock Throppled. SILLY. GUY.
 

Cock Throppled

Well-known member
Oct 1, 2003
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ok that's a PRETTY FUCKIN IMPORTANT POINT THERE BUD lol
you hadn't confirmed the booking and you still drove an hour and a half? I mean.......................sorry but........................................................
ugh I've been told I can't call people names anymore. maybe if I just call you a silly guy I'll get away with it? You're a SILLY GUY, Cock Throppled. SILLY. GUY.
I have to agree, and I would normally have not travelled so far without confirmation.

The reason I (foolishly) made an exception in this case was because she had been texting repeatedly the night before confirming the time, duration, clothing requests, type of session, seemed to be eager to meet, giving (what turned out to be wrong) directions and ensuring I would send a text in the morning to confirm. The implication at the time was that I was the one who had to confirm for her, so I wasn't that concerned when I didn't initially get a reply. Just thought she maybe slept in.

I also had the names of a couple of other SP's in the area I thought might be a plan B, but it turned out I wasn't that horny anyway, and just had lunch and went home. I still think I dodged a bullet when an SP doesn't notice we didn't have a session before she decides to get in touch.
 

ExpCharlee

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I have to agree, and I would normally have not travelled so far without confirmation.

The reason I (foolishly) made an exception in this case was because she had been texting repeatedly the night before confirming the time, duration, clothing requests, type of session, seemed to be eager to meet, giving (what turned out to be wrong) directions and ensuring I would send a text in the morning to confirm. The implication at the time was that I was the one who had to confirm for her, so I wasn't that concerned when I didn't initially get a reply. Just thought she maybe slept in.

I also had the names of a couple of other SP's in the area I thought might be a plan B, but it turned out I wasn't that horny anyway, and just had lunch and went home. I still think I dodged a bullet when an SP doesn't notice we didn't have a session before she decides to get in touch.
yeah ok, that's fair. well, sounds like you went for a nice drive anyways ha ha ha!
 

uncleg

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Jul 25, 2006
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I've heard of white knights, but then are the plain delusional.

After we'd arranged the date SHE told me to send a confirmation the next morning. Whose fault is it she didn't respond? It was my mistake to travel anyway, but that's where my responsibility ended if she flaked, whether I got lost or not.

Apparently you think it's normal for an SP, who "might not check her phone constantly" to also not notice a client hasn't arrived, or hasn't been with her for the entire duration of the appointment, before she decides to check her phone and text the missing person.
A good way to avoid the plain delusional might be to get your story together before you post......four posts on this, and this is the first time you mention she asked you for a confirmation post. Really......

I've sent texts to confirm the morning of, or the day before, whether asked for or not.....things change and a person can get lost in the shuffle. If I don't get an answer right away, I don't sweat it.... If I don't get an answer by the time I have to leave, and she asked for the confirmation I stay home....if I don't get an answer, where a confo wasn't asked for I head out and touch base at the the incall location as arranged. If she goes dead on me there, I wait around for maybe 15 and then I'm gone.
 

licks2nite

Active member
Nov 30, 2006
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I'm wondering what the ladies think of what looks like double standard in these two post segments.
I did not miss it, as you didn't say it explicitly. It changes nothing. If you think you had an appointment, it's your responsibility to make it. Try complaining to a lawyer or a dentist you missed your appointment time because Google failed you. It would be your fault and you'd pay a no-show fee.
  • Once you decided you are not going, it's a simple courtesy to say "As I didn't get a confirmation, I consider this appointment cancelled. Hope you are ok." She may be still not at fault, if it's an emergency / broken phone / etc.
 
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