cheating on my regular and asking for reference, opinions please.

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Oslo

Banned
Mar 15, 2019
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any of u feel hesitant to ask ur regular for a reference. feeling as if I am cheating on her or worse yet she may have her feelings hurt. though never indicated to me this was not ok or ok. now it is not a case of one and done or my regular needs replacing. providers have do a service and have feelings too and I do not want to mess up the great harmony we have. just want to taste a different flavor so to say.

not an expert pooner and my first time asking for a reference. provider I am attempting to see requires a reference, deposit not option. even still if I ever do want to see anyone else and need a reference. is there a kind and respectful way to go about it. am I wrong for feeling this way.

thoughts.
 

KinkyKatey

Member
Apr 21, 2017
651
25
18
Vancouver
Hey there :) sounds like you and your regular have a good thing going, asking for a reference is extremely unlikely to alter that. I would ask her the same way you explained it here, you certainly want to see her again, you just want to try a new experience. I have had a few different regulars ask for references, I am always happy to oblige, though I do generally like to hear dirty details later (what can I say, I'm a freak). What you're feeling is not uncommon, however you are likely worried about nothing. Have fun with your new adventure;)

Xo
Katey
 

2bfair

Well-known member
Feb 1, 2018
534
288
63
Proceed with caution as I had a regular years ago and when i didnt contact her within my regular repeat she went possessive on me . Sent me texts that accused me of going to an agency in Edmonton that was closer than where she was working as she moved to a farther spa.
Her emails were so disturbing, including bad mouthing some gals at the spa she left. I never saw her again as it turned me off. Some gals are competitive but many will refer you.
Get your referals right here via reading about the well reviewed gals..
 

Fiona

Oceansides Lusty Busty Milf ❤️
Supporting Member
Approach with caution.. We’re all red blooded passionate woman in this business . It can even depend on how her week has gone , how many clients have disappointed her lately , even the “time of the month” you ask :)
Yes most of us are professionals but also human .. good luck :)
 

Ms Erica Phoenix

Satisfaction Provider
Jun 24, 2013
5,325
5
0
58
In Your Wildest Dreams!
In my opinion, a truly professional provider will be happy to give a reference to a happy client. If you ask for a reference & your ATF gets all possessive, it's probably a good thing to find out early in your relationship with her rather than later. Men in this pursuit are usually in it because they are seeking variety other than what they have at home. If you're feeling like you're in a rut or a routine with her? Go see someone else, have fun, then think about whether you had more fun with someone new. Who knows? At best, maybe you find a second ATF you can repeat with OCCASIONALLY, when things get stale. At worst, you find out that your ATF is jealous as balls & wants you all for herself, in which case maybe you're dodging a bullet that would be potentially explosive later on. Whatever you decide, best of luck!
 
L

LADY-VIA

any of u feel hesitant to ask ur regular for a reference. feeling as if I am cheating on her or worse yet she may have her feelings hurt. though never indicated to me this was not ok or ok. now it is not a case of one and done or my regular needs replacing. providers have do a service and have feelings too and I do not want to mess up the great harmony we have. just want to taste a different flavor so to say.

not an expert pooner and my first time asking for a reference. provider I am attempting to see requires a reference, deposit not option. even still if I ever do want to see anyone else and need a reference. is there a kind and respectful way to go about it. am I wrong for feeling this way.
thoughts.
You shouldn't feel badly for asking for a reference, although you are only human for not wanting to hurt her feelings. However, It's her job to keep the personal feelings out of the job, and she should give ypu the reference without questions, and wish you a good time. Clients come, and go. I had a duo with someone, who's client then became my client for quite a while, and didn't go back to her. I knew he had a kink that I couldn't fix though, so I reffered him to a close friend SP who I knew he would like. He hasn't been back to see me since, and I'm not bothered by it one bit. He's happy, and that's all that really matters. I'm happy to have been able to set him up with someone else to enjoy, and more so that he didn't get screwed over by bait and switches, or bad service providers, on his quest to scratch his itch.

(oh, I'll add this. I know that he's said that he's felt guilty for not coming back to see me, and I've reassured my friend that it's all good, and to tell him that he doesn't need to feel that way. )

sincerely LV
 

taratender

Member
Mar 6, 2017
34
0
6
Vancouver, BC
It makes sense to feel nervous to ask, but I think its really good practice in our worlds to ask for and give references in all the directions. I am always happy to give a reference for a client because I genuinely care about other providers and want us all to feel safe! I am no one's possession or object and no one else is mine. However, I can understand that when providers feel possessive of a client, it is probably because they feel activated about financial scarcity. So privilege plays a big part in being able to be free and easy going about it.
 
L

LADY-VIA

References keep women safe and secure so I am happy to give rave reviews of my clients if they need it. It doesn't make me feel jealous because the more we can make this a safe industry, the better imo.
My thoughts exactly, but references also help to keep our clients safe as well. I'd rather provide one, than have them come back with a horror story about a terrible time they had else where. Every one wins when providing references, and or referrals for other reputable ladies, which I also provide to those who are unfamiliar with this board, when I'm not available or the prospect client is looking for something that I don't provide. What goes around comes around. I think It's always better to be considerate and giving, than self centred. :)
 

ElsiDawson

Slutty slut
Nov 5, 2016
485
16
18
Vancouver, BC
I was under the impression that I'm in unilaterally exclusive relationships with all of my clients!

Two recommendations for asking for a reference:
-Actually ask to use the SP as a reference. If you're sending someone my way out of the blue, it means that I have to start pulling up the other SP's info to make sure she is who she says she is. Why would I need to do that? I don't know if that person is your wife or not. I want some consent and warning to expect someone to be asking about our otherwise confidential sexual relationship. If I'm busy and I don't have the time to look up the other SP, I'll cop a snarky attitude and tell them I don't know who they're talking about. This is a thing I do to keep your privacy safe.
-Be on your best behaviour. If you're asking for a reference and seeing someone who doesn't know me, your conduct is going to be a reflection of my professionalism. If you go make an ass of yourself, the SP may not trust my referrals in the future and may let slip to other people that my client was a dud and I vouched for him.
-Sometimes, you'll be asking about an SP with whom I work regularly but we may not advertise our duos or connections where you're looking. And if you pull stupid shit, I will hear from her about it afterwards. And then you'll have burned two bridges.​
 
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sybian

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2014
3,404
735
113
Kamloops B.C.
I was under the impression that I'm in unilaterally exclusive relationships with all of my clients!

Two recommendations for asking for a reference:
-Actually ask to use the SP as a reference. If you're sending someone my way out of the blue, it means that I have to start pulling up the other SP's info to make sure she is who she says she is. Why would I need to do that? I don't know if that person is your wife or not. I want some consent and warning to expect someone to be asking about our otherwise confidential sexual relationship. If I'm busy and I don't have the time to look up the other SP, I'll cop a snarky attitude and tell them I don't know who they're talking about. This is a thing I do to keep your privacy safe.
-Be on your best behaviour. If you're asking for a reference and seeing someone who doesn't know me, your conduct is going to be a reflection of my professionalism. If you go make an ass of yourself, the SP may not trust my referrals in the future and may let slip to other people that my client was a dud and I vouched for him.
-Sometimes, you'll be asking about an SP with whom I work regularly but we may not advertise our duos or connections where you're looking. And if you pull stupid shit, I will hear from her about it afterwards. And then you'll have burned too bridges.​
Two....That's "Two" Bridges.
 

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
5,461
591
113
Two....That's "Two" Bridges.
Now, now Miss Erica Sybian....poor dear was probably a bit out of sorts, maybe from burnt fingers from all the bridge burning going on....:biggrin1:.
 

ElsiDawson

Slutty slut
Nov 5, 2016
485
16
18
Vancouver, BC
Now, now Miss Erica Sybian....poor dear was probably a bit out of sorts, maybe from burnt fingers from all the bridge burning going on....:biggrin1:.
My good Uncle G, thank you.

I feel like sybian should know by now that if I'm sitting at my desk, I'm probably alternating between jerking off and sipping whisky and using the other hand to type. I didn't realize cowboys were so very sensitive about grammar on their pooning forums... ;)
 

sybian

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2014
3,404
735
113
Kamloops B.C.
My good Uncle G, thank you.

I feel like sybian should know by now that if I'm sitting at my desk, I'm probably alternating between jerking off and sipping whisky and using the other hand to type. I didn't realize cowboys were so very sensitive about grammar on their pooning forums... ;)
Yes that's me....the sensitive type, and truth be told, I don't really know if it's spelled grammer, or grammar, but you've already figured that out about me...the little drunk leprechaun inside my iPad gives me a hand once in awhile.

Tell me....left hand ,or right?
 

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
5,461
591
113
 

Man Mountain

Too Old To Die Young
Oct 29, 2006
3,863
28
0
Vancouver
any of u feel hesitant to ask ur regular for a reference. feeling as if I am cheating on her or worse yet she may have her feelings hurt. though never indicated to me this was not ok or ok. now it is not a case of one and done or my regular needs replacing. providers have do a service and have feelings too and I do not want to mess up the great harmony we have. just want to taste a different flavor so to say.

not an expert pooner and my first time asking for a reference. provider I am attempting to see requires a reference, deposit not option. even still if I ever do want to see anyone else and need a reference. is there a kind and respectful way to go about it. am I wrong for feeling this way.

thoughts.
The following is going to be a slightly different perspective. Before you ask your regular if she'd provide a reference, you might want to consider if her referral will be accepted as a reference to the SP who requires references. I've heard through back channels that some of the SPs who ask for references will only accept those references from other "upscale" type, independent advertisers with whom they are familiar or who have their own web sites through which they can be contacted. If your regular is a relatively unknown SP who "flies under the radar" and only advertises her availability on LL when she's available or if she's a micro or agency lady, her reference might not be accepted.

Best of luck to you, Oslo :)
 

grizzly

Orgasm Donor
Feb 24, 2010
648
199
43
The following is going to be a slightly different perspective. Before you ask your regular if she'd provide a reference, you might want to consider if her referral will be accepted as a reference to the SP who requires references. I've heard through back channels that some of the SPs who ask for references will only accept those references from other "upscale" type, independent advertisers with whom they are familiar or who have their own web sites through which they can be contacted. If your regular is a relatively unknown SP who "flies under the radar" and only advertises her availability on LL when she's available or if she's a micro or agency lady, her reference might not be accepted.

Best of luck to you, Oslo :)
I can attest to this as I've experienced it myself many years ago. Most of my regulars were local hidden gems at the time and when I offered one of them as a reference (with the ladies permission of course) to a well reviewed travelling lady, my reference was declined because she virtually had no track record on the boards and very little advertising. The travelling lady was polite in her reply indicating without a history she could be my sister for all she knew.
 
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