Massage Adagio

Sexually Obsessed with a SP...

masterblaster

Well-known member
May 19, 2004
1,592
727
113
I have been friends with an SP for a few years now. She invited me over last night had some drinks, listened to music and talked for a few hours. She let me fondle her boobs and give her some hugs, ended up spending the night, slept in the guest room. Have had 3 instances in the last month and a half when we got kind of drunk, I started fondling her and we ended up in bed having sex for an hour or two. She says she's not interested in a relationship. I'm a bit confused about how things are between us. She always texts me if she hasn't heard from me for a day or two, I see her once or twice a week at least and sleep over usually 2 or 3 times a month. We spent the whole summer together doing things outdoors pretty much every weekend. Was the best summer I've had for a few years.
 

clu

Active member
Oct 3, 2010
1,282
14
38
Vancouver
OP, how about this for a middle ground answer: tell her "I'm finding my feelings are getting blurred. I'm sure you've encountered this with others before, and I'm not going to presume you feel the same way. What would you like me to do?"

Just remember this though: on-the-clock SP is a fantasy. It's her job. You can't have a relationship with a fantasy. If you've learned more about the off-the-clock real person she is, and that's who you've fallen for, then maybe it's worth something. But if you've fallen for the fantasy, don't delude yourself.

Good analogy: ever been to a concert where the female singer drags some male fan on stage and makes him her plaything? (Pseudo lap dance, whatever.) She's having fun. She's exuding charm and seduction. In some respects, it's genuinely who she is. The guy is having the time of his life. She didn't just ask him to be her boyfriend after the show, though.
 

clu

Active member
Oct 3, 2010
1,282
14
38
Vancouver
I have been friends with an SP for a few years now. She invited me over last night had some drinks, listened to music and talked for a few hours. She let me fondle her boobs and give her some hugs, ended up spending the night, slept in the guest room. Have had 3 instances in the last month and a half when we got kind of drunk, I started fondling her and we ended up in bed having sex for an hour or two. She says she's not interested in a relationship. I'm a bit confused about how things are between us. She always texts me if she hasn't heard from me for a day or two, I see her once or twice a week at least and sleep over usually 2 or 3 times a month. We spent the whole summer together doing things outdoors pretty much every weekend. Was the best summer I've had for a few years.
Sometimes it's just about the journey, not the destination. Maybe a day will come that you both agree you want to take it further, maybe not. In the meantime, sounds like an enjoyable ride. :)
 

TOAO

Well-known member
Oct 30, 2018
2,851
1,093
113
Everyone, thanks so much. I feel at least a bit better today, than I did yesterday or the day before. I've had some encouraging and positive replies, and I've also had my ass kicked by you guys. I greatly appreciate both. There are so many posts on this thread I started, and I really wanted to reply to each one (tried), but it will take too long. If I don't acknowledge that I appreciate your feedback with direct reply, it's only because there are too many. I'm going to try to sum it up like this, and blanket what you guys have said.

I do know me. And I know that if I pursue this, there is almost a 100% chance I will regret it or do something stupid. I have before. And I'm not as cool or laid back about these things as some of you are. I'm a very cool and laid back person, but not with this kinda' stuff. I'm an emotional, fucking firecracker, and when I go, I go. For this reason, I'm thinking to just cold turkey it: no last call, visit, text, letter, etc, etc. Nothing. Just move on. The reason is this: even if I have some success and even if there is something mutual, there is a good chance that I could be even worse off because of it. So she says, "yes, I like you... let's try and see what happens...". Well, this would be worse, as now, I have something going with her - and all the stuff that is bothering me now... well, I think it would get 100 times worse, knowing that we are "together". Of course I will have trust/jealousy issues, and this will bury me. I would always be suspicious, ask her to explain and prove shit to me, etc, etc (not healthy). In the end, it will be me that gets hurt. If she was making lattes at Starbucks and said, "I like you... sure... let's try and see what happens...", that's a different story. But her line of work is otherwise, to say the least. And it will only be to my downfall. I have a lot riding on this. I'm a clean guy with a good job and I have a good heart. I think it would be foolish to jeopardize that. Whoever said to RUN, and FAST, I'm siding with that right now.

Yes, I am single. My obsession with her is this jealousy I have. And I know it's something I have to work out myself, maybe with professional help as well. The trust issue obviously comes from her line of work, so who am I kidding by thinking it will go away just because she says she likes me and will give it a try. Again, it will only make it worse if I pursue this and she says she likes me. I like the way she makes me feel, so I get jealous thinking she makes others feel the same - yes, neediness. I gotta kick my own head in here, and as one poster said, get her the fuck out of my system and avoid seeing her at any cost.

It's very hard and scary, emotionally, for me to go with the cold turkey approach. And it's the path with most resistance. The easy thing to do would be to go see her and continue on with this detrimental fantasy. I almost was going to go see her today, but I didn't. I'm not there yet, but I'm gonna try my best to believe that things always get better with time... hopefully. Thank you all, sincerely. I will reply to more comments you guys made when I remember all the points...

My worry is tomorrow morning. I'm gonna wake up and let this shit consume me, as it did today. But hey, I pretty much got through the day, didn't I? Hopefully I can keep it up and just let this pass.
 

Addison Cortez

Addixion
Sep 14, 2017
851
5
18
Hi all, first off, I know that this thread should be posted elsewhere. However, I purposely posted it here, as I wanted fellow posters/reviewers to chime in, in case they have been through, or are going through, the same situation.

I am getting obsessed with an SP that I see regularly. I know many of you will crack a joke about it and make light of it (which is fine), but it is something I am really struggling with right now. If anything, I'm just looking for some advice and pointers, as I think I have an issue. Not easy to admit that to all of you, but gotta start somewhere.

I don't know if I'm falling in love with her, or if it's just a sexual obsession. It angers me and makes me jealous when I think of her with other guys. I try to not contact her and just quit seeing her, cold-turkey, but I always cave in. I cannot stop thinking about her, and I find myself purposely seeing other SPs more often to try and forget about her. So far, it isn't working. Again, I don't know if it's a possessive/obsessive thing, or if I really am falling in love with her. I constantly check this site to see if there are reviews for her, and it's almost like I want to find out something that I know will hurt me, if that makes sense. I know this isn't good, but I don't know how to handle this. I put ideas in my head about her, and end up driving myself crazy. I want to do something about this, before it gets any worse.

I am hoping to hear from posters that understand my situation, and have been through this. I don't know what to do, so I am reaching out to you all. Most of all, I would greatly appreciate any help and tips.

Thank you... I hope to hear back from you guys.
I don't recommend asking her out. I recommend asking her how she feels about having a relationship first.

Why?

If she is truly respectful, as a human... once she finds out you have 'uncontrollable personal' feelings for her, (that she is unable to return, whether it be timing, choice or other reasons) she will have let you go, including the 'paycheque,' in order to not hurt you further. It won't matter if she does have the feelings for you or not. This is often difficult for us girls too.

It's also possible that she may already know, and is maximizing her paycheque. That can be dangerous for all parties

stop seeing SPs all together and when you are having problems forgetting, do something outdoors and physical.... try to bring yourself "back to earth". All you can do is keep trying to "keep your feet on the ground." Outdoors is the most primal you can be next to sex.

In six months, try again.

I also recommend seeing a rope bondage healer for some guidance and meditations
 

Vpete

Member
Oct 29, 2017
99
37
18
TOAO I think you are on he right path now. Good for you for coming to terms with some things based on all the good advice here.

I think Addison has very good points above and if I were you I’d pay her a visit and get crap smacked out of me- in the good way :)

Sometimes a change of pace is in order and could be fun.
 

maxic

Active member
Aug 16, 2016
241
25
28
Now come on as long as you are on the clock with her during your dates you just another customer .. time to expand your circle of hot sp friends :)
 

2bfair

Well-known member
Feb 1, 2018
536
288
63
As a hobbyist for many years, there are a few ladies that I developed feelings for so I sympathize. What I can tell you is that feeling will pass with time. What troubles me is the jealousy you feel. You have to get a handle on that before you do something you'll regret. I've had this conversation with a few ladies who've had obsessed clients and their jealousy and obsession provoke them to do stupid things like stalking, random phone calls at odd hours, trying to intrude on her personal life. All this does is frighten the lady and she will cut you off. Or worse, you will be charged with harassment. Please refrain from forcing yourself into her life without an invitation
well put.. if he has ever had feelings for a woman before this one his feelings must of passed for the former crush.. i too have had crushes on sps but they pass. I used to enjoy sps closer to my age but it is tempting to get a crush on one so now i stay with younger sps that would never date a man my age.. he does have to deal with gelousy issues though
 

lukom

Bobs and Vagenes Poacher
Dec 8, 2010
1,842
660
113
I'm not going to tell you to refer back to my original advice, but it seems like you want to get over this person and that you want to move on from her. Professional help may work, but the big final step in all these sessions will be to go out and explore sex with other partners. If I may suggest something it would be two things, 1) Go see her one last time, but this time try and make it a duo session with another guy. Your fear/jealousy will be acted out right in front of you (i.e. her pleasing another man) will help you get over her or you might realize that this is no longer a thing that bothers you. 2) Treat yourself to a couple of rebound sessions, heck even a duo with two highly reputable girls.

If you still manage to retain feelings for her after this you may want to just reconsider your views on dating a girl working in the industry and decide from there. I think going cold turkey will prolong this issue for you. I do agree with part of Addison's advice here on asking her how she feels about having a relationship and going from there. I don't know if avoiding SP's altogether for 6 months will help. I feel like you might fall for first girl that you will start seeing if you go for that long. I think a good approach is desensitize yourself, while keeping in mind that these sessions are no strings attached business arrangements.

Everyone, thanks so much. I feel at least a bit better today, than I did yesterday or the day before. I've had some encouraging and positive replies, and I've also had my ass kicked by you guys. I greatly appreciate both. There are so many posts on this thread I started, and I really wanted to reply to each one (tried), but it will take too long. If I don't acknowledge that I appreciate your feedback with direct reply, it's only because there are too many. I'm going to try to sum it up like this, and blanket what you guys have said.

I do know me. And I know that if I pursue this, there is almost a 100% chance I will regret it or do something stupid. I have before. And I'm not as cool or laid back about these things as some of you are. I'm a very cool and laid back person, but not with this kinda' stuff. I'm an emotional, fucking firecracker, and when I go, I go. For this reason, I'm thinking to just cold turkey it: no last call, visit, text, letter, etc, etc. Nothing. Just move on. The reason is this: even if I have some success and even if there is something mutual, there is a good chance that I could be even worse off because of it. So she says, "yes, I like you... let's try and see what happens...". Well, this would be worse, as now, I have something going with her - and all the stuff that is bothering me now... well, I think it would get 100 times worse, knowing that we are "together". Of course I will have trust/jealousy issues, and this will bury me. I would always be suspicious, ask her to explain and prove shit to me, etc, etc (not healthy). In the end, it will be me that gets hurt. If she was making lattes at Starbucks and said, "I like you... sure... let's try and see what happens...", that's a different story. But her line of work is otherwise, to say the least. And it will only be to my downfall. I have a lot riding on this. I'm a clean guy with a good job and I have a good heart. I think it would be foolish to jeopardize that. Whoever said to RUN, and FAST, I'm siding with that right now.

Yes, I am single. My obsession with her is this jealousy I have. And I know it's something I have to work out myself, maybe with professional help as well. The trust issue obviously comes from her line of work, so who am I kidding by thinking it will go away just because she says she likes me and will give it a try. Again, it will only make it worse if I pursue this and she says she likes me. I like the way she makes me feel, so I get jealous thinking she makes others feel the same - yes, neediness. I gotta kick my own head in here, and as one poster said, get her the fuck out of my system and avoid seeing her at any cost.

It's very hard and scary, emotionally, for me to go with the cold turkey approach. And it's the path with most resistance. The easy thing to do would be to go see her and continue on with this detrimental fantasy. I almost was going to go see her today, but I didn't. I'm not there yet, but I'm gonna try my best to believe that things always get better with time... hopefully. Thank you all, sincerely. I will reply to more comments you guys made when I remember all the points...

My worry is tomorrow morning. I'm gonna wake up and let this shit consume me, as it did today. But hey, I pretty much got through the day, didn't I? Hopefully I can keep it up and just let this pass.
 

licks2nite

Active member
Nov 30, 2006
658
79
28
OP, heard since I was a youth that "The feeling is always mutual". That said, I've also heard conflicting stories about "love triangles". So, I'm guessing that your lady friend, just like you, has an obsession too. Possibly with an aging or disabled relative. Maybe even a young son who is as jealous as you. If you like her that much, I wouldn't quit. Budget your cash wisely, and tip for good service.
 

vancouverman

old PERBERTs never die
Jan 19, 2005
3,182
3
38
Vancouver - of course
www.VMSQ.com
TOAO.... I know how you feel ..... I spend over 3 years being in love with an escort and I know, she was in love with me too. Most fantastic years in my life.... at the same time, most horrible years too ( like you, I'm not a sharing guy ). Would I do things differently now, if I had a chance to do it again? I'm sure, I would.
Every love is fantastic.... no matter if the girl is an escort or not. Some love is just more painful then the other.
It takes a real man to really love an escort. It takes a real love to forget what she does every day.
Be strong my friend.....
 

TOAO

Well-known member
Oct 30, 2018
2,851
1,093
113
I'm getting advice from all angles. Still struggling. Last post about cold turkey prolonging this may be true. I think it's all in my mind, however. Once I have my mind straight, cold turkey or last visit or whatever... won't matter. It's the jealousy, number one. It's my mind going crazy about stuff that I don't know happened. I'm just creating situations in my head and getting jealous. This is the main problem I have to get over. I'm just really struggling witb how to start it.
 

BobbyMcgee

Active member
Feb 3, 2014
892
153
43
why are you jealous of a SP who is doing her job? perhaps she already has an SO in her real life?
 

druiddude432

Active member
May 24, 2017
136
78
28
Hey TOAO. Remember you talking about cold turkey before on my post but never knew it was because you gained affections for a sp.
Were kinda of on the same boat here as I also kinda have feelings (to put lightly haha, refer to my reviews) for a lovely companion.

I guess all the suggestions here have been good but I just gotta put in my thoughts. When you say you get jealous about seeing others review her is that because you don't want her seeing/doing other men and just want her all to yourself. Is there an underlying issue of trust or control occurring?

I have felt the same way, well a bit less than you have about seeing reviews or even tweets of users about a sp but I have stopped myself of overthinking and letting these things overcome my emotions. I mean if I truly loved her wouldn't I support her no matter what she does and love her unconditionally. How could a review of a user having a great time or a tweet of a user excited to do naughty things to her and she responding with heart emojis affect my cool. I feel it is great that she is having a good time, enjoying herself and connecting with others but that doesn't make feel jealous or hurt. Because I love myself fully and I know I am a amazing person. And if I truly love myself I wouldnt get jealous or let others affect me and if the fact that she is being intimate with others truly affects me then I am willing to let go. If something doesnt resonate or feels right with my heart I will move on regardless of how special someone can mean to me.

Going back to other users questions have your experiences with the lady been just sexually or have you gone on dates or talked about your lives, interest etc. Have you gotten to fall in love with her personality, her past her "real" self? For me, I have only seen the lovely companion a few times, once in the spring which we probably only "played" for 15min and the hour a bit left was just talking. Then 4 months past and I meet her again. Then I book for a longer day "paid date" where we pretty much spend the whole day together hiking, eating....
Things were a bit weird as I was a bit of a creep and I managed to add her personal IG. I got blocked and she said that was her personal IG not for clients. Which I followed up with a long message where explained myself and said sorry multiple times as I always do. I thought that I wouldn't see her after that. That I would focus on myself but really deep inside I was like, I no longer want to be a paying client or pay to be with someone and maybe I can use the Law of Attraction or some dumb positive thinking thing to attract her or get us to "meet" like in the movies. Nope that didn't work and I ended up booking another date. This time I asked her if we could try the tantra heart connection which is a meditation where you have the each other's hand at heart and you gaze into each others eyes. A bit uneasy or more like just kinda different staring into someone's eyes, which are the door to someone's soul even for me, someone who cares about her. But then I started to drop my thinking and just see the beautiful pure soul that is sitting in front of me.

Past forward 3 weeks, I said I wouldn't see her but then that crappy scam occured then I posted about it at the same time yet another review of her. We went out for some food and we conversed about life and things I got to know her more and more and found that we shared somewhat similar experiences. I don't know if that is because our similar age, ethnicity or whatelse. Oh rewind few weeks back I wrote her a email saying I wanted to book a date with you but I couldn't because doing so would not me good as I have grown feelings for you blah blah something about I know it is forbidden or not right or whatever and I wish her the best in life and said I will always care for her and my usual ending wish of love, peace happiness.
I mentioned it during our meeting and she was like she wasn't sure if I wanted to go on with the appointment that day and clients have had similar cases of feelings or they no longer wanna hobby because of relationships. And umm yeah I pulled out my ukulele and sang "Best Part" to her which was the best feeling ever. Seeing the sparkle in her eyes and her clapping also the hugs I got after that. Damn the flow of energy I had after that... So technically I haven't said "I love you" to her but yeah I think the Universe knows. But the way I love her is not in a possessive way or wanting something out of her or her to change. I love her just the way she is and I admire her kind heart and beautiful soul.

I am totally sorry man I just had to let that out but getting back to the point. Do you love or care for your lady like I do? Because as deeply in love as I am, if she was uncomfortable in any way or if tmr we would never meet again I would be okay because I would know I would still love her the same because the love I have isn't just for one person but for all things and people. Even for the people who have hurt, scammed of harmed me. I guess what I am trying to say is going back and love yourself. Fall in love with yourself. Do what makes you happy. What do you enjoy? Hiking, photography, exercising, travelling, just watching Netflix. When you start focusing on doing the things you love and things that make you happy it will attract more positive things in your life and you'll forget about getting into a relationship. The most important relationship is the one with ourselves. Once that is truly fulfilled and satisfied all other relationships will grow with it. Maybe you should go cold turkey but not call it that but more of doing what you love and you'll forget about the girl. Sometimes love is like a drug and our attachment with someone gets us high for that one moment then it fades away. Then we crave for another hit as you and I have failed in going cold turkey and end up seeing our own favorite lovers again. That burst of oxytocin when connecting with someone can be addicting but when you get off something for a long enough time lets say 2-3weeks or longer you will no longer crave or feel the need for that person or thing. Damn I am rambling for too long.

I pray you will find the right path to follow and wish for all the best for you man. Peace
 

Keepit100

Member
Jan 14, 2016
106
3
18
I must add my two cents here. First and for most i must tip my cap here for you sir, coming out and opening up about this, much respect. That is the first important step. On the other hand i have a few blunt things i have to say and this is only for your own good, as i have been through this and know how you are feeling. You must understand (no offence to any sps on here) that these women are professionals, professional actresses. Take money out of the equation, and what are you left with? Probably nothing, maybe im wrong, maybe it is something else, but you won’t know until you approach this head on and tell her how you feel, gently. On the other hand if you can support her in the same way she supports herself through this business then thats a different story all together. Play the tape with her 1,2,5 years from now, you think ull still be together? it's going to be a cinderella story? If so then i guess we have a winner, 99% chance is your answer is no. Mine went on for a couple of years, did it end well? Fuck no, horrible tragic all of the above, so if you think you are feeling shitty now, it can get much worse. But do not stoop in it, keep yourself extremely busy in the mean time, talk to someone in person about this as well, let it all out and listen to what they have to say, that will help.
 

TOAO

Well-known member
Oct 30, 2018
2,851
1,093
113
Well said. Yes, I'm a control freak, and want her all to myself. I'm not being sarcastic, either. Like Addison told me, I am a dominant, and she is submissive. I have more issues with myself that I need to address, before anything else. Trying my best to be strong. Thanks for the prayers.

She said she was single, and also said that she didn't like what she was doing. But I know the quick cash is highly addictive. She does know how I feel, albeit not the degree to which. I suspect she has also lied about having clients when I tried to book. Saying stuff like, "I'm out for dinner, etc, etc." Whether or not that's true, who knows. But after I kinda' told her I how I felt, I think she is trying to not rub it in, so to speak.
 

TOAO

Well-known member
Oct 30, 2018
2,851
1,093
113
Then again, even if she was "busy" with other things, in the end, she still saw me. So obv/understandably, it's about the money... whether she tries to respect my feelings or not.
 

TOAO

Well-known member
Oct 30, 2018
2,851
1,093
113
I must add my two cents here. First and for most i must tip my cap here for you sir, coming out and opening up about this, much respect. That is the first important step. On the other hand i have a few blunt things i have to say and this is only for your own good, as i have been through this and know how you are feeling. You must understand (no offence to any sps on here) that these women are professionals, professional actresses. Take money out of the equation, and what are you left with? Probably nothing, maybe im wrong, maybe it is something else, but you won’t know until you approach this head on and tell her how you feel, gently. On the other hand if you can support her in the same way she supports herself through this business then thats a different story all together. Play the tape with her 1,2,5 years from now, you think ull still be together? it's going to be a cinderella story? If so then i guess we have a winner, 99% chance is your answer is no. Mine went on for a couple of years, did it end well? Fuck no, horrible tragic all of the above, so if you think you are feeling shitty now, it can get much worse. But do not stoop in it, keep yourself extremely busy in the mean time, talk to someone in person about this as well, let it all out and listen to what they have to say, that will help.
Thank you. Yes, they are professional liars... I don't mean that in a bad way, but goes with the territory, as with, for example, many sales jobs. You're right. No matter how I feel now, it could be 100 times worse in the near future. And the chances, according to my track record, are that it won't end well. That's what I'm thinking right now... maybe just a clear and concise text... then get the fuck out.
But again, easy for me to say... not so easy to do...
 

UhOh

Well-known member
Dec 11, 2011
1,971
294
83
Get over it by whatever means necessary and find something else to focus on. The mathematics of it is simply that the more you try the less she is interested. Once you see it was all for nothing and isn't going anywhere you're going to really regret not walking away.
 

Toddbertacchi

Member
Jun 18, 2018
178
7
18
You need professional help as you might be creating or imagining situations in your head only. There is more to life then just sex or having a companion. I have a feeling these threads may have been created by you as well under different user names.

All I would say to seek counseling from a trained professional as you are probably too much into something, which most likely only playing in your mind.

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthrea...n-of-passion&p=1908261&highlight=#post1908261

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?254989-Swan-MyC&highlight=Swan


https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?254934-Giving-a-woman-in-the-biz-an-out
 
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