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Thread: Top Ten Signs You Are An Aging Pooner.

  1. #1

    Post Top Ten Signs You Are An Aging Pooner.

    Well, the title is self-explanatory. It was inspired by a thread started by OfficeGuy; 'Just a thought from someone older'.

    Disclaimer: I do not mean to laugh at older people. How can I? Heck I am going to be there shortly so ... chill everyone. Also, the idea was to make a top 10 list, but once I started I kept going.

    So here are the top ten signs that you are an aging pooner.


    1. During the initial contact, she agrees to accept your CPP cheque as payment.

    2. You start to ask for seniors’ discount.

    3. You always ask for a duo. One girl to have sex with and the other to hold on to for balance.

    4. You don’t have to shave your privates anymore. All hair has fallen off your body.

    5. She offers you a shower before the session and you ask, “Can I have a nap instead?”

    6. You pull your pants down and the sp says, “ohhh you have a diaper fetish! You naughty naughty old man!”

    7. She makes you sit on chair and she starts to stroke you between your legs, but you do not feel anything. Then you both realize that she has been stroking your cane.

    8. While receiving oral pleasure from her, you ask her to give you BLS and she has to crawl all the way down to your ankles to do that.

    9. While pleasuring her with your fingers, you don’t have to move your hand. You just place your finger tip on her clitoris and involuntary shaking of your hands sends waves of pleasure through her body.

    10. During cowgirl position, she has to wake you up every two minutes.

    11. You ask her to keep a few towels handy just in case you accidentally pee during intense genital pleasure.

    12. She finds your dentures inside her while getting herself ready for her next client.

    13. You go to see someone younger than you and at the start of the session she asks you if you want her to remove HER dentures or not.

    14. After the session she peeks outside and tells you that it is all clear and safe for you to leave and your reaction is, “Oh, so war is over??"


    Again, this is not intended to mock older pooners (or even SP's). I am sure one or more of these things will happen to me because I will poon as long as I can.

    T8E
    Last edited by take8easy; 05-20-2017 at 05:13 PM.
    If you don't want me talking, just shove your boobs in my mouth.

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    surrey
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    ohhhhhh yeah we just might get a seniors discount! .....I will have to check into that

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
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    822
    Hilarious !!

    Loved #9

  4. #4
    I can't believe you missed 'being grandfathered'. One eloquent SP actually used the words 'grandfather rate' on her website.

    Great list T8E. You are on a roll.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by felixthecat View Post
    I can't believe you missed 'being grandfathered'.

    Great list T8E. You are on a roll.
    Oh GOD !!! DUH ME !!

    Let us make that # 15.

    15. You get grandfathered. (Thanks felix).
    If you don't want me talking, just shove your boobs in my mouth.

  6. #6
    Gentleman Horndog
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Winnipeg
    Posts
    5,010
    16. You feel like jerking off, but you have to wait 45 minutes for the Viagra to kick in.

  7. #7
    PayForItPal
    Guest
    Lol. Well done. Glad to see you still have your sense of humor take8easy.

  8. #8
    17. Your daughter oversees your finances. You are running out of excuses to give her for the unexplained $300 withdrawals from your retirement fund every two weeks.

    18. You've seen an ad for an SP you're desperate to visit. The ad says "text only". You're trying to find the manual for the "feature phone" you bought in 1999, to figure out how to send a text.

  9. #9
    19.You decide not to see Ashley because you need a resurrection specialist not a demolition expert

  10. #10
    20. During the session the sp says, "69?"
    You: "No, that was years ago?"

    21. Your last good sex was when Leafs used to play hockey.

    22. When booking an sp for an outcall, you are told that they don't serve seniors' care facilities.(Initially I wrote hospices ....)
    If you don't want me talking, just shove your boobs in my mouth.

  11. #11
    A dude
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    The 6 to the.. Other 6
    Posts
    742
    I don't feel like I can contribute, but I can say "Good job! this thread is making me laugh.." :P

  12. #12
    23. You are a volunteer driver for the local senior's centre. One day you are driving an elderly lady to her appointment with her doctor. Chatting during the drive, you come to realize that she was the MILF who was your first SP.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by take8easy View Post
    20. During the session the sp says, "69?"
    You: "No, that was years ago?"

    21. Your last good sex was when Leafs used to play hockey.

    22. When booking an sp for an outcall, you are told that they don't serve seniors' care facilities.(Initially I wrote hospices ....)
    I have this vague recollection that once upon a time there was a thread about a seniors' residence on the Island that had a very accommodating attitude about visits from escorts.

  14. #14
    The following one applies to me, or rather, applied, till a month ago, till my kids twisted my arms (with love of course) and forced me to order it on Amazon.

    23. You have no idea what a fidget spinner is. When you go to see an sp, she is playing with one and your possible reactions are

    1. You say, "In our days, fans used to be much bigger."
    2. Is that sex toy for you or for me?
    3. Sorry Ms. no lady is going to put a spinning thing up my butt.

    Oh wait, I can write a top ten list based on fidget spinners. BRB.
    If you don't want me talking, just shove your boobs in my mouth.

  15. #15
    It's a bit awkward also explaining why Mistress X has been signing in every week at the front desk of the care home.

    Also, you have to put on your glasses to ensure you count the donation out properly.

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