Open discussion: Where is the line?

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PerbMod

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This is an escort review board, frequented by adults, who indulge in activities that are adult in nature. We allow and encourage all kinds of dialogue, about the industry or not.

In the past couple of days, we have had threads featuring drug deal requests, dead hooker jokes and several others of questionable taste. Some violate rules are and easy to deal with. Others are a matter of personal preference. I'd like some community input, where's the line of what's ok and what's not? Given our goal of being more friendly, more inclusive, I removed the sick joke thread as some guys went way over the line as I understand it. Others may have thought that it was fine or all in good fun.

What's ok or not ok from your perspective? Please everyone, be respectful of others view points, you don't need to agree on everything, but you don't have to be a troll when disagreeing either. thanks in advance.
 

westwoody

Well-known member
Jun 10, 2004
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Westwood
Tough call.

Hardly anything offends me. As a white kid growing up surrounded by Chinese kids I was called everything.
At the same I feel bad for women who get insulted in reviews.
There needs to be a primer on writing negative but tactful reviews.
 

sevenofnine

Active member
Nov 21, 2008
2,018
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yeah it is a tough call.
personally were all adults, if you can't stand the heat get the fuck out.

but I think there are times when threads are hijacked by trolls. or just fucking idoits
and I think as a mod or the owner of this board, you have a vision of what your trying to accomplish or the purpose of this board,
so you are the final arbitrator ,
I think like I said sometimes things just go sideways, and you want to go the fuck,
so it unfortunate, but there has to be rules and consequences.
 

Cock Throppled

Well-known member
Oct 1, 2003
4,712
572
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Upstairs
I get offended when we're treated like children by some mods here.

In the words of the mod - "This is an escort review board, frequented by adults, who indulge in activities that are adult in nature."

Describing SP's with degrading, insulting language seems to be okay, but calling another board member by calling them a douche for it has got me suspended. Arguments are terminated by locking threads that would die out anyway. I have no problem with arguments here getting heated. Even keyboard threats are usually just stupid posturing.

Otherwise, pretty much anything goes. We are not children.
 

jgg

In the air again.
Apr 14, 2015
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Varies now
Dead hooker jokes crosses the line. For the most part, posters are respectful and hopefully honest. At least to the degree that an anonymous board is. A little common (not so?) sense will go a long way.
 

take8easy

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2014
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I am going to chime in too since it was a thread started by me (Sick Jokes) that triggered this little storm.

I am always up for a good laugh and jokes. I am also fully for showing respect towards women, especially women in this business. Dead hooker jokes were borderline ... offensive, I guess. But I do not think I posted any such joke, to best of my knowledge anyways. I don't even think I have ever used the word hooker on this forum. I thought I should get it out of the way.

I am not sure how we police jokes though. I mean comedy is based on tragedy, for most part and there will always be a lawyer, a blonde, a man with small penis, a woman with saggy boobs who will be butt of a joke. Is talking about killing all the lawyers is not offensive?

I have an idea, if a post is flagged by a user as offensive, why not just delete that post, instead of whole thread. Also, if sick humor offends you, no one is putting guns to your head to visit it.
 

westwoody

Well-known member
Jun 10, 2004
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Westwood
Dead hooker jokes were borderline ... offensive, I guess.
You guess?

I know women who have been assaulted, two who were victims of attempted murder.

You haven't been around long enough to experience that sort of thing.
 

bdan

New member
Apr 11, 2015
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This is an escort review board, frequented by adults, who indulge in activities that are adult in nature. We allow and encourage all kinds of dialogue, about the industry or not.

In the past couple of days, we have had threads featuring drug deal requests, dead hooker jokes and several others of questionable taste. Some violate rules are and easy to deal with. Others are a matter of personal preference. I'd like some community input, where's the line of what's ok and what's not? Given our goal of being more friendly, more inclusive, I removed the sick joke thread as some guys went way over the line as I understand it. Others may have thought that it was fine or all in good fun.

What's ok or not ok from your perspective? Please everyone, be respectful of others view points, you don't need to agree on everything, but you don't have to be a troll when disagreeing either. thanks in advance.
Almost anything is okay to me. I just don't read the threads that I find offensive or not to my taste. Who am I to judge?
There are many things that raise my eyebrows but I don't feel the need (usually) to comment on them.
Or at least I try not to.

I think curtailing the negativity towards the women that use this forum is a good idea. It's good for business too.
Who gets to judge? You? Why you?
I believe that is the Mods job.
But if nothing negative can ever be said about the advertisers then what use is the board?
Then it's just a chat Forum. It has zero value to us, the non paying participants. You know? The ones who provide reviews and recommendations.

It's a very slippery slope for sure. Too much negativity and everyone loses. None at all and everyone also loses.
 

sybian

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2014
3,404
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Kamloops B.C.
I've read things that have made me laugh here ,and other things that have made me shake my head at times.
I think the ladies here have a thicker skin than most.......and it should be said they are tolerant of inappropriate comments for the most part.....which I do my best not to make, at a attempt at some humor.
The line must be drawn by those in control of the functions of this forum, but the people posting things that may or may not cross their own personal boundaries have to be considered before it is typed and clicking on submit reply.
There are some things that can be said and taken out of context, when posting that a person never meant nor considered at the time.
Leave the judgement to the community at hand ,and then the enforcement of the line drawn to the Board to ingnor ,or delete.
There is a line that should be drawn when in an environment that you may find yourself in.
You would never walk into an Orphanage and use the terms ..bastard, or unwanted.....
A dead hooker joke in this environment is distasteful....although it may not have been meant to offend, common decency would tell us that it was rude, and in bad taste.
These women here are valuable human beings, with feelings and lives.....and should be treated that way.
 

bdan

New member
Apr 11, 2015
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I'm referencing outright misogyny and nastiness. But hey, if you want me to a be a mod by all means, suggest it to Jess. I'd be HAPPY to accept the gig.
Heaven forbid THAT were ever to happen!

I was more commenting on why anyone OTHER than the Mods should have the ability to police the Forums. Worded it badly though.

I was on a different board where ANY negative review or review that even hinted of negativity against long time advertisers was immediately pulled.

Or any thread that the ladies didn't like. Needless to say I no longer contribute.

What would be the point?

OT: I could say that common sense should be the yardstick but we all know how well that works...
 

take8easy

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2014
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Sorry, I missed the part where I said it was my job. The moderator asked for suggestions, I gave him one. And I'm not referencing reviews that aren't positive. I'm referencing outright misogyny and nastiness. But hey, if you want me to a be a mod by all means, suggest it to Jess. I'd be HAPPY to accept the gig.



amen.
I would really like to ask you how many women have you seen. Ever since joining this forum and inundating it with Polls, you have not posted a single review, to best of my knowledge. So stop pretending to be holier than thou. All you have done since joining this forum is pad your stats by sticking your nose into threads or starting some lame-ass threads. (204 posts in 44 days, assuming you started on April 1st). Don't forget that you have already been kicked out/banned.

So why don't you go and post another thread .. on .. say ... "What color of flowers do you like on your tea cup. Pink, Violet or Lilack?"

About a year ago, after two cartoons left this forum, I used to think this forum is drama free now. But I guess not.

Those of you who have been here long enough must remember who I am talking about.
 

felixthecat

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2011
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(in before this goes completely sideways)

The question was about the Lounge I understand. There are separate complex topics about reviews, paid advertisers etc. - no chance to discuss all at once.

I applaud PerbMod for asking for our feedback. In this particular instance, I agree with others that some jokes in that thread were detrimental to our forum image. Some action had to be taken.

Free speech does not work well on anonymous internet forums. Look at any with unmoderated comments. There's always flame wars to the point the forum becomes useless. There's no court you can bring your opponent for libel or say for breaking your privacy. Mods have to take action in a limited time, they cannot spend all their lives on this.

The thread was maybe ok to start, but it specifically asked for 'the sicker the better' jokes. Other than blocking T8E (which I have no reason to), I had little chance to avoid seeing them. From that perspective, I think killing the thread was a reasonable choice. Mods won't have resources to comb over every single post, so sometimes have to pick a realistic action.
 

lenny

girls just wanna have fu
May 20, 2004
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your GF's panties
I think T8E makes a sensible suggestion.

Just because a single post is offensive, we shouldn't flush the whole thread (unless the thread topic is the trigger ). Most of those sick jokes were pretty funny and he's right that it's hard to regulate humour.
This is a good idea IMO. Delete individual offensive posts rather than entire threads that are otherwise in a friendly spirit. Though if other's quote the offensive post, i'm not sure how the mods would or could handle that.

Alternately the offensive post could remain with some or all of the comments removed & something to indicate the mod was there, so people know what happened to the post, rather than it just mysteriously disappearing.

Another way to handle such threads would be to move them to a different area as suggested in this quote:

You might also consider creating a politics sub thread for the Lounge. Politically opinionated people usually have strong opinions so let them have their own little slug fest on politics. Those of us not interested can just stay away.
Another great idea here. This is what they do on TERB. The "Politics, Religion & International Affairs" forum seems to be moderated more loosely than the "Lounge" there. AFAI can tell insults fall like rain in Vancouver without any consequences.

Perhaps any threads that turn nasty could be assigned to yet another sub forum. This would be more convenient for mods than all the work involved in reading & editing or deleting many posts. And make happy those who are in favor of an increase in freedom of speech. People of a kinder or more delicate character would know better than to even think about venturing there.
 

take8easy

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2014
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Oh ..& who is the one acting holier than thou? Does writing reviews on escorts somehow magically make a human male more of a man or something? :confused:

I always thought it had to do with showing higher than average respect and intelligence..
and what was the last time you saw me being disrespectful towards women? :)
 

giaebonyprincess

Active member
Jan 1, 2017
718
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Calgary
linktr.ee
Fortunately I didn't read the dead hooker joke, I think that's going way too far. There are so many missing murdered women, I feel sorry for their loved ones especially on days like tomorrow. I am no different from those women. An SP is a SP, some just choose to work on the corner of the street.

So yeah......there is a line!!

Gia
 

lenny

girls just wanna have fu
May 20, 2004
4,116
74
48
your GF's panties
I vote this thread be moved to Perbatory. If it really goes off the rails, then send it to the Hell Fire & Brimstone forum, appropriately located just south of the BDSM reviews. Most people would never see it. Except those who wish to go to a dungeon or "go to hell" ;
 

lenny

girls just wanna have fu
May 20, 2004
4,116
74
48
your GF's panties
Fortunately I didn't read the dead hooker joke, I think that's going way too far. There are so many missing murdered women, I feel sorry for their loved ones especially on days like tomorrow. I am no different from those women. An SP is a SP, some just choose to work on the corner of the street.

So yeah......there is a line!!
Love your username!

I didn't read the joke either. The thread title scared me away entirely ;

Considering Vancouver's history re Pickton etc i can see how it might be an especially sensitive topic here.
 

Man Mountain

Too Old To Die Young
Oct 29, 2006
3,863
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The thread was maybe ok to start, but it specifically asked for 'the sicker the better' jokes. Other than blocking T8E (which I have no reason to), I had little chance to avoid seeing them. From that perspective, I think killing the thread was a reasonable choice. Mods won't have resources to comb over every single post, so sometimes have to pick a realistic action.
I thought there was an option to ignore specific threads at one time but I can't seem to find that now. I suppose that could be an option if it were an option...
 

lenny

girls just wanna have fu
May 20, 2004
4,116
74
48
your GF's panties
This is an escort review board, frequented by adults, who indulge in activities that are adult in nature. We allow and encourage all kinds of dialogue, about the industry or not.

[snip]
Given our goal of being more friendly, more inclusive,

[snip]
With that in mind, the most important thing is to bring back the allowance of STI, medical & no condom discussions ;

Dare to dream, Lenny. Dare to dream.
 

felixthecat

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2011
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With that in mind, the most important thing is to bring back the allowance of STI, medical & no condom discussions ;
You've seen enough of those threads. They go wrong in so many ways.
Fights between people with different risk tolerance. Medical advice by people without proven credentials. Anecdotal evidence or claims with no evidence. Providing ammo to anti-sex fear mongers and prohibitionists.
It's hard to get people agree on topics with so little science and reliable statistics behind them.

Misquoting a mod could get you in trouble one day. "Dare to dream" sounds about right though.
 
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