Top Ten Signs That You Are Addicted To Pooning.

take8easy

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2014
4,528
721
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I was a big fan of Top Ten List in David Letterman Show and often I would make up my own top ten lists.

I wrote the following a long time ago but I never posted it. I started with top ten, but the list kept on getting longer so .... here it is........(There is no real order or top or bottom, just some randomly put together points.)

Top 10 signs you are addicted to pooning.

1. When a mechanic or a handyman tells you his hourly rate, you ask, "Do you have 30 min or 45 min rates?"

2. You keep on entering your PERB log in info into your email

3. When a woman tells you her name, you wonder if it is her real name.

4. When a woman tells you her name, you wonder which of the following names would suit her the best: Bambi Bobbs, Bunny Bumz, Kitty Cloze, Lola Lips, Lolita Love, Candy Kane, Cherry Chase, Juicy Juggs or Conny Cummins.


5. When giving directions to someone you always say, "Let me know when you park, I will text you the buzzer code and apartment number."

6. When calling a travel agency, you ask the girl, "Do you offer Greek package?"


7. When calling a travel agency, you ask the girl, "Do you offer any extras?"

8, When planning a vacation, you start by visiting the therapeutic section of CL.

9. You consistently misspell the word 'message' as 'massage'.

10. You hold Pfizer's "Gold Member" life time card.



11. When looking at resume of a girl for a job, you keep on wondering if you should add ten more years to her age.

12 When reading a her resume, you first look at her age, ethnicity, location and expected wages.


13. When contacting her for an interview, you ask her, "Are those pictures real?"

13. When your wife tells you that she ran into an old girlfriends of her in the intimate apparel section of The Bay, you wonder if they made out in the fitting room.

14. You keep on misspelling the word duty as DATY

15. You keep on misspelling the word DATE as DATO

16. Any phrase or name with the word French in it makes you think of DFK.


17. The thought of you being a male escort did cross your mind initially, but you realized that your gut is too big, your penis too small.

18. When reading score card of a hockey game, you wonder why players dont take multiple shots on goad during 60 minutes of play.


19. You know very well why Made in China is cheaper and available at short notice.

20. When selecting seat on an flight, your preferred seat range is from 32B to 36D.


21. You smile for no reason whenever you see the number 69.

22. You can only remember the last four digits of phone numbers


23. Any woman with last name 'Fox' makes you wonder if she ever worked across the street from Metrotown on Kingsway.

24. You wish your girlfriend changed her name from Tiana Lockes to Tia Luxx.


25. Your car's licence plate number is ABC 285 but you read it is as ABC 2 browns, one red one green, one purple and one blue.

26. At your bank, you carry your cash in a plain unmarked envelope and place it on cashier's counter in plain view.

27. You keep on telling yourself that you do not discriminate because you could sleep with a woman of any race, age or religion.

28. To kill time you often try to come up with different handles for PERB e.g. Dickin.Yu, Yuben Dover, Cummin.Cider, Don T Saynotome, Ivan Herbad.


There were more that kept on popping up in my head as I wrote the above, but I think 28 is a good number for now.

Hope you like them. :)
 
Last edited:

newsky_1520

Member
Oct 5, 2011
84
28
18
I was a big fan of Top Ten List in David Letterman Show and often I would make up my own top ten lists.

I wrote the following a long time ago but I never posted it. I started with top ten, but list kept on getting longer so .... here it is........(There is no real order of best of worst, just some randomly put together points.)

Top 10 signs you are addicted to pooning.

1. When a mechanic or a handyman tells you his hourly rate, you ask, "Do you have 30 min or 45 min rates?"

2. You keep on entering your PERB log in info into your email

3. When a woman tells you her name, you wonder if it is her real name.

4. When a woman tells you her name, you wonder which of the following names would suit her the best: Bambi Bobbs, Bunny Bumz, Kitty Cloze, Lola Lips, Lolita Love, Candy Kane, Cherry Chase, Juicy Juggs or Conny Cummins.


5. When giving directions to someone you always say, "Let me know when you park, I will text you the buzzer code and apartment number."

6. When calling a travel agency, you ask the girl, "Do you offer Greek package?"


7. When calling a travel agency, you ask the girl, "Do you offer any extra?"

8, When planning a vacation, you start by visiting the therapeutic section of CL.

9. You consistently misspell the word 'message' as 'massage'.

10. You hold Pfizer's "Gold Member" life time card.



11. When looking at resume of a girl for a job, you keep on wondering if you should add ten more years to her age.

12 When reading a her resume, you first look at her age, ethnicity, location and expected wages.


13. When contacting her for an interview, you ask her, "Are those pictures real?"

13. When your wife tells you that she ran into an old girlfriends of her in the intimate apparel section of The Bay, you wonder if they made out in the fitting room.

14. You keep on misspelling the word duty as DATY

15. You keep on misspelling the word DATE as DATO

16. Any phrase or name with the word French in it makes you think of DFK.


17. The thought of you being a male escort did cross your mind initially, but you realized that your gut is too big, your penis too small.

18. When reading score card of a hockey game, you wonder why players dont take multiple shots on goad during 60 minutes of play.


19. You know very well why Made in China is cheaper and available at short notice.

20. When selecting seat on an flight, your preferred seat range is from 32B to 36D.


21. You smile for no reason whenever you see the number 69.

22. You can only remember the last four digits of phone numbers


23. Any woman with last name 'Fox' makes you wonder if she ever worked across the street from Metrotown on Kingsway.

24. You wish your girlfriend changed her name from Tiana Lockes to Tia Luxx.


25. Your car's licence plate number is ABC 285 but you read it is as ABC 2 browns, one red one green, one purple and one blue.

26. At your bank, you carry your cash in a plain unmarked envelope and place it on cashier's counter in plain view.

27. You keep on telling yourself that you do not discriminate because you could sleep with a woman of any race, age or religion.

28. To kill time you often try to come up with different handles for PERB e.g. Dickin.Yu, Yuben Dover, Cummin.Cider, Don T Saynotome, Ivan Herbad.


There were more that kept on popping up in my head as I wrote the above, but I think 28 is a good number for now.

Hope you like them. :)
Haha love it!
 

take8easy

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2014
4,528
721
113

MissingOne

awake but not woke
Jan 2, 2006
2,170
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31. You get all of your news, political commentary and social commentary from the Lounge on PERB.
 

Beaverfever000

New member
Apr 18, 2017
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34. When you realize you've driven past 5 incalls you've been at within 5 minutes

35. You think it's funny everytime you see the score in a Columbus Blue Jackets game

36. You think the Ottawa Senators logo looks like another logo that you usually see on the packages on the night stand
 

rxwca

Member
37. In the address bar in your web browser, you type almost any letter in the alphabet, and you see web addresses for Leolist, Backpage, Perb and escort web pages.

38. You check Leolist or Perb at work.

38. You look for Pooners Anonymous.

39. You start writing poetry about pooning.

40. A touring SP texted you her hotel room #. And you went to the right room #, but in a wrong hotel nearby where you pooned recently. (This happened to me. :doh:)

41. You started giving L/A/S ratings for every waitress you see.
42. You're sitting in the incall, and your SP is busy for another 10 minutes. You just can't wait, and want to shag mama-san!:llama:

43. When you're planning your retirement in Thailand or Tijuana ... at 25.

44. When you have "WCA" in your Perb handle.

45. You go grocery shopping, and all you can think of is Milk, Candy, Honey, and Shampoo.

46. After an exhausting day at work, your wife or gf takes you to the bedroom and takes her clothes off, you give her a donation.

47. When you have too many ideas for the Top Ten Signs That You Are Addicted To Pooning.

48. A gorgeous waitress asks you "What do you like from our menu?". You blurt out DFK, BBBJ ...
 
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take8easy

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2014
4,528
721
113
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN IS..........

Whenever you see a thread of "top ten signs"...... you start to add to it.

T8E
 

nwtl

daffodil fairy
Aug 24, 2016
399
121
43
-> 47. When you have too many ideas for the Top Ten Signs That You Are Addicted To Pooning.

I wish David Letterman was still on and he did this list, the above would be the classic last but not least on the list.
 
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