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Thread: Top Ten Signs That You Are Addicted To Pooning.

  1. #1

    Post Top Ten Signs That You Are Addicted To Pooning.

    I was a big fan of Top Ten List in David Letterman Show and often I would make up my own top ten lists.

    I wrote the following a long time ago but I never posted it. I started with top ten, but the list kept on getting longer so .... here it is........(There is no real order or top or bottom, just some randomly put together points.)

    Top 10 signs you are addicted to pooning.

    1. When a mechanic or a handyman tells you his hourly rate, you ask, "Do you have 30 min or 45 min rates?"

    2. You keep on entering your PERB log in info into your email

    3. When a woman tells you her name, you wonder if it is her real name.

    4. When a woman tells you her name, you wonder which of the following names would suit her the best: Bambi Bobbs, Bunny Bumz, Kitty Cloze, Lola Lips, Lolita Love, Candy Kane, Cherry Chase, Juicy Juggs or Conny Cummins.


    5. When giving directions to someone you always say, "Let me know when you park, I will text you the buzzer code and apartment number."

    6. When calling a travel agency, you ask the girl, "Do you offer Greek package?"


    7. When calling a travel agency, you ask the girl, "Do you offer any extras?"

    8, When planning a vacation, you start by visiting the therapeutic section of CL.

    9. You consistently misspell the word 'message' as 'massage'.

    10. You hold Pfizer's "Gold Member" life time card.



    11. When looking at resume of a girl for a job, you keep on wondering if you should add ten more years to her age.

    12 When reading a her resume, you first look at her age, ethnicity, location and expected wages.


    13. When contacting her for an interview, you ask her, "Are those pictures real?"

    13. When your wife tells you that she ran into an old girlfriends of her in the intimate apparel section of The Bay, you wonder if they made out in the fitting room.

    14. You keep on misspelling the word duty as DATY

    15. You keep on misspelling the word DATE as DATO

    16. Any phrase or name with the word French in it makes you think of DFK.


    17. The thought of you being a male escort did cross your mind initially, but you realized that your gut is too big, your penis too small.

    18. When reading score card of a hockey game, you wonder why players dont take multiple shots on goad during 60 minutes of play.


    19. You know very well why Made in China is cheaper and available at short notice.

    20. When selecting seat on an flight, your preferred seat range is from 32B to 36D.


    21. You smile for no reason whenever you see the number 69.

    22. You can only remember the last four digits of phone numbers


    23. Any woman with last name 'Fox' makes you wonder if she ever worked across the street from Metrotown on Kingsway.

    24. You wish your girlfriend changed her name from Tiana Lockes to Tia Luxx.


    25. Your car's licence plate number is ABC 285 but you read it is as ABC 2 browns, one red one green, one purple and one blue.

    26. At your bank, you carry your cash in a plain unmarked envelope and place it on cashier's counter in plain view.

    27. You keep on telling yourself that you do not discriminate because you could sleep with a woman of any race, age or religion.

    28. To kill time you often try to come up with different handles for PERB e.g. Dickin.Yu, Yuben Dover, Cummin.Cider, Don T Saynotome, Ivan Herbad.


    There were more that kept on popping up in my head as I wrote the above, but I think 28 is a good number for now.

    Hope you like them.
    Last edited by take8easy; 05-04-2017 at 08:15 PM.
    Know your limit. If you canít swallow, spit it. i

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by take8easy View Post
    I was a big fan of Top Ten List in David Letterman Show and often I would make up my own top ten lists.

    I wrote the following a long time ago but I never posted it. I started with top ten, but list kept on getting longer so .... here it is........(There is no real order of best of worst, just some randomly put together points.)

    Top 10 signs you are addicted to pooning.

    1. When a mechanic or a handyman tells you his hourly rate, you ask, "Do you have 30 min or 45 min rates?"

    2. You keep on entering your PERB log in info into your email

    3. When a woman tells you her name, you wonder if it is her real name.

    4. When a woman tells you her name, you wonder which of the following names would suit her the best: Bambi Bobbs, Bunny Bumz, Kitty Cloze, Lola Lips, Lolita Love, Candy Kane, Cherry Chase, Juicy Juggs or Conny Cummins.


    5. When giving directions to someone you always say, "Let me know when you park, I will text you the buzzer code and apartment number."

    6. When calling a travel agency, you ask the girl, "Do you offer Greek package?"


    7. When calling a travel agency, you ask the girl, "Do you offer any extra?"

    8, When planning a vacation, you start by visiting the therapeutic section of CL.

    9. You consistently misspell the word 'message' as 'massage'.

    10. You hold Pfizer's "Gold Member" life time card.



    11. When looking at resume of a girl for a job, you keep on wondering if you should add ten more years to her age.

    12 When reading a her resume, you first look at her age, ethnicity, location and expected wages.


    13. When contacting her for an interview, you ask her, "Are those pictures real?"

    13. When your wife tells you that she ran into an old girlfriends of her in the intimate apparel section of The Bay, you wonder if they made out in the fitting room.

    14. You keep on misspelling the word duty as DATY

    15. You keep on misspelling the word DATE as DATO

    16. Any phrase or name with the word French in it makes you think of DFK.


    17. The thought of you being a male escort did cross your mind initially, but you realized that your gut is too big, your penis too small.

    18. When reading score card of a hockey game, you wonder why players dont take multiple shots on goad during 60 minutes of play.


    19. You know very well why Made in China is cheaper and available at short notice.

    20. When selecting seat on an flight, your preferred seat range is from 32B to 36D.


    21. You smile for no reason whenever you see the number 69.

    22. You can only remember the last four digits of phone numbers


    23. Any woman with last name 'Fox' makes you wonder if she ever worked across the street from Metrotown on Kingsway.

    24. You wish your girlfriend changed her name from Tiana Lockes to Tia Luxx.


    25. Your car's licence plate number is ABC 285 but you read it is as ABC 2 browns, one red one green, one purple and one blue.

    26. At your bank, you carry your cash in a plain unmarked envelope and place it on cashier's counter in plain view.

    27. You keep on telling yourself that you do not discriminate because you could sleep with a woman of any race, age or religion.

    28. To kill time you often try to come up with different handles for PERB e.g. Dickin.Yu, Yuben Dover, Cummin.Cider, Don T Saynotome, Ivan Herbad.


    There were more that kept on popping up in my head as I wrote the above, but I think 28 is a good number for now.

    Hope you like them.
    Haha love it!

  3. #3
    A dude
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    This is gold. I enjoyed every single one of the list, hahaha.

  4. #4
    guilty as charged, Ocho!!

    ~Barry McCochener~

  5. #5
    Take8easy, you made my dato! Lol

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Ala View Post
    Take8easy, you made my dato! Lol
    I had to scroll up to look what you meant.
    Know your limit. If you canít swallow, spit it. i

  7. #7
    Regular Member
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    29. You chuckle to yourself wherever you hear of a salon offering or a woman tells you she just got a facial.

    Cheers
    J
    Y'all come back now,
    Y'hear?

  8. #8
    Mindfuck Extraordinaire Miss Hunter's Avatar
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    30. You notice acronyms on licence plates.
    Downtown Vancouver & Richmond
    604-618-5075 text only
    deviousmisshunter@outlook.com
    Twitter @DeviousMissH

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Hunter View Post
    30. You notice acronyms on licence plates.
    huh? .....
    Know your limit. If you canít swallow, spit it. i

  10. #10
    Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by take8easy View Post
    huh? .....
    She means license plates that say BBFS or BBBJ, etc. Mine says BFE
    Out of Office Alert: I am currently out of the office & in police custody.

  11. #11
    31. You get all of your news, political commentary and social commentary from the Lounge on PERB.

  12. #12
    A dude
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    32.
    You ask for living situation, entertainment options and restaurant choices on PERB.

    33.
    You get all your food and entertainment recommendations from SP's only.

  13. #13
    34. When you realize you've driven past 5 incalls you've been at within 5 minutes

    35. You think it's funny everytime you see the score in a Columbus Blue Jackets game

    36. You think the Ottawa Senators logo looks like another logo that you usually see on the packages on the night stand

  14. #14
    Registered User
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    somewhere, in an escort's arms i hope
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    37. In the address bar in your web browser, you type almost any letter in the alphabet, and you see web addresses for Leolist, Backpage, Perb and escort web pages.

    38. You check Leolist or Perb at work.

    38. You look for Pooners Anonymous.

    39. You start writing poetry about pooning.

    40. A touring SP texted you her hotel room #. And you went to the right room #, but in a wrong hotel nearby where you pooned recently. (This happened to me. )

    41. You started giving L/A/S ratings for every waitress you see.
    42. You're sitting in the incall, and your SP is busy for another 10 minutes. You just can't wait, and want to shag mama-san!

    43. When you're planning your retirement in Thailand or Tijuana ... at 25.

    44. When you have "WCA" in your Perb handle.

    45. You go grocery shopping, and all you can think of is Milk, Candy, Honey, and Shampoo.

    46. After an exhausting day at work, your wife or gf takes you to the bedroom and takes her clothes off, you give her a donation.

    47. When you have too many ideas for the Top Ten Signs That You Are Addicted To Pooning.

    48. A gorgeous waitress asks you "What do you like from our menu?". You blurt out DFK, BBBJ ...
    Last edited by rxwca; 05-05-2017 at 02:19 PM.
    To each their own.

  15. #15
    AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN IS..........

    Whenever you see a thread of "top ten signs"...... you start to add to it.

    T8E
    Know your limit. If you canít swallow, spit it. i

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