Win a 15min Milking Table Show for Best Anecdote on How I broke my ankle!!!

Pick your Favorite anecdote from my top 3 picks; here they are!!!


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Now that I'm back the questions of the day is What Happened???

Well silly me I broke my ankle and had Surgery on it and ended up with 3 plates and 13 screws that's why I had to leave unexpectedly to hide away and heal for so long. I don't like explaining how I did it as it was just plain out fluke accident and not some cool story. As well, I'm upset that I'm unable to show of my skills under my Infamous Milking Table until early May cause of this stupid mistake. So, I've decided to have some fun and joke around about my broken ankle while I slyly remind you boys that I do have the only Milking table around and I have the many skills to use it!!! :whoo:




I'll make this a very easy contest for you to enter; all you need to do is reply to this thread with a funny anecdote on how I broke my ankle. On April 30th I'll choose the top 3 I feel are the best, then for 1 week the voting turns back to you by a simple poll letting the winning anecdote be unbiased by me; Winner announced May 8th.
I'm expecting funny short posts can be a little dirty but please be respectful and do not write anything crude or rude, I'll have those I find demeaning removed. Examples: practicing for high jumping (I'm not even 5 ft), Dancing in high heels in bouncy castle, fell of bed in heels; see I can't even come up with a good funny story, but I'm sure you can. I'll help get your created juices flowing by offering the winner of this simple little contest, my 15min Infamous Milking Table Show valued at $100. I've included the link to my Milking Table teaser video to show what you should expect if you win. :clap2:

https://player.vimeo.com/video/186218845

Good Luck and Let's Have some Fun!!! :cheer2:
 
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Harv19

New member
Jun 21, 2011
15
1
3
Vancity
You went to the mall with some girlfriends, parked your car in the parking lot, and suddenly had the urge to slide across the hood of your car like the dukes of hazzard! Half way through the slide you realized it was a mistake as you were wearing platforms, got to the other side of the hood. Stumbled and fell breaking your ankle, however you tell your friends that you think you broke your ankle, and they say if you had you would be crying in pain and tell you to walk it off. You take their advice and decide to walk it off, couple of hours later you realize the pain is not dissipating and go to the hospital. Where you find out that you broke your ankle, and couldn't even click your heels after sliding across the hood! Lol
 

jamasianman

Well-known member
Dec 5, 2015
1,463
267
83
You were attacked by ninja assassins, and you were able to take them all out. But the last one you slid off his jaw with a high kick and you fell on it wrong, hence the injury.
 

Mr Quim

Cunnilingus Connoisseur
Jan 14, 2007
1,700
496
83
The beautiful Fraser Valley !
0k, here I Go !

You broke your Ankle, while playing Wonder Woman for a Client !

This long time regular Client, had conveyed to You at one point, that One of his Fantasies was to Fuck Wonder Woman !
You be the caring SP, that You are, wanted to make this Fantasy come True for him on his upcoming Birthday .

You thought adding a "Stripper Pole", to your Playground, might enhance this "Wonder Woman Fantasy" ?
So You had One installed .

On his Birthday, Mr Regular shows up at your Playground, with much anticipation ! This based, on your informing Him of something special waiting for Him . When he arrives, You sit him down, and start to perform your Wonder Woman Show .

You take a running leap from across the Room, to mount the Stripper Pole . Making a spectacular, complete spin, around the Top of the Pole !
Unfortunately, the Contractor who had installed the Pole, hadn't correctly anticipated the type of Forces this Pole would be subjected to ?
And subsequently, the Pole broke free of the floor mounting . Which sent Wonder Woman crashing to Floor, in such a furry, that she broke her Ankle !

Moral of the Story : Even Wonder Woman, has her Bad Days ! LOL

Cheers !
 
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OMG I am loving the replies so far and thinking some of you know me a little to well ;)
I can't wait to see where this goes from here :noidea:​

Answers to a few questions I've had:
  • Yes you do need to be a PERB member to enter or have a PERB member enter for you
  • Yes if you're the winner you can gift it out
  • Yes SP's can enter for clients
  • You can enter as many times as you like
  • Winner to book within 1 year

Who's gonna be the winner???​
 

tresed

New member
Nov 16, 2015
27
0
1
I had a very loyal client who wanted to up his game so he asked me to park in some BDSM activities. This is not my area of expertise but thought I would go along for such a good customer. He explained that he gets turned on when I deny him from my pleasure. He wanted to me to tease and hurt him until he is aroused like never before at which time I would engulf him for an oral explosion like never before. It started with the basic teasing and use of a light whip - whenever he would get aroused, which was quite often, I would start whipping him with increasing vigor. He then suggested I pleasure myself but flick my balls to kill the erection. He loved it. He kept asking me to flick him harder, but he just kept getting harder. I was also really getting myself off and he could tell that I was about to have an incredible O. He was also pleasuring himself at this point. His eyes were wide open with pleasure. He then got so excited that he wanted me to inflict more pain just before he exploded. I picked it up a notch and stared slapping his erect hardness when his eyes all of a sudden rolled back in his head and he says 'kick me in the balls you bitch!' So I stepped back and let him have it. Shit... his dick was so hard that I broke my effing ankle!!! But damn, he also exploded at the same time and covered my leg with his love juice. I am now crying with pain and laughter with my ankle swelling up and rubbing it with jizz all over it. Fortunate for me, he was such a gentleman that he took me to the medical clinic to get examined. So if you want to know if I partake in BDSM, the answer is NO!
 

PoCoKid

Active member
Jun 1, 2010
302
105
43
Port Coquitlam
You broke your ankle due a failed triple axle spin off a diving board. It would have been awesome had the board not been so slippery, and had you not started spinning before jumping; end result kind of looked like a blind, wounded lemur flopping into a pool after losing footing on a tree :p The fun part was getting home from your friends house. For some reason you didn't want to bother anyone and had one of your comrades walk to your house, pick up an old skateboard, and drag you all the way home. You laid on your back on the board and was holding the towel that she used to tow you home.
 

d_b_99

Member
Mar 30, 2004
39
36
18
Here's one. It's based on a true story. It happened to my friend but the bones were different.

So I was skiing up at Whistler. Mid-afternoon and I had a couple glasses of wine at lunch. I get halfway down the run and have to pee real bad. So as I'm a classy lady, I discreetly ski close to some trees, drop my snow pants and squat in the bushes. Now I'm not great at skiing, you see, and didn't know I shouldn't have my skis pointed downhill as I squat. Next thing I know I'm sliding downhill as I pee. I lose control and hit some trees, breaking my ankle. The ski patrol had to come get me, pull up my ski pants and take me to first aid where I got some great painkillers. I came to in the hospital.

At the hospital I'm in a shared room with three other beds. Only one is occupied by a girl with a broken arm. She is asleep when regain my senses but she's up within an hour. We start taking.


She asks “Why is your lower leg is in a cast?” I get embarrassed - how do I tell a stranger I broke my ankle in an uncontrolled squatting piss up at Whistler and had a cute ski patrol guy pull up my pants? So I lie and say “I tripped going down the stairs from my apartment.”


I ask her how she broke her arm. Well she turns red as an apple. "I'm embarrassed to say," she says, "but I was skiing up at Whistler and riding the chairlift up the hill when I spotted this girl skiing down the hill in a squat with her pants down around her ankles. What a sight! I was so busy watching I did not notice we were at the top of the lift, fell out of the chair and broke my arm."
 

LM987

Active member
Dec 28, 2015
396
69
28
I'm not a story teller, so will just stick to the facts.
After you and I had our session on & under your famous table, and we had cleaned ourselves up, I was so impressed with your skills, and still very light headed, I offered you a very generous tip ( not mine ;), but a further donation), and just tossed you my wallet, but since I was still cross eyed and could not focus, I missed you and the wallet was heading towards your open window, you reached over to grab it before it ended up in the hands of a stranger on the street below, and you tripped over my jacket, did a cartwheel, slamming your leg into a table, resulting in your terrible injury.
Being a gentleman, I did call 911 for an ambulance. We did not have to explain the situation to them, but they sure did give us funny looks when they saw your table, and the silly grin on my face.
Just another day at the office.
 

blackcad

Active member
Dec 5, 2010
242
215
43
You were having a spectacular Easter morning, happily watching your 7 year old niece, gleefully searching for Easter Eggs hidden in your eccentric uncle's overgrown and untended pear orchard. The birds were chirping, the sun smiling down on your luscious locks, and the noise of the little babbling brook nearby all combining into a moment of pure awe at nature's majesty. Without warning, serenity was pierced by the heartwrenching screams of your niece, as you saw her little right foot, drop into a shallow hole in the grass, her leg suddenly covered in moving yellow and black....she had stepped on an angry hibernating nest of ground dwelling hornets. Without hesitation, your instincts commanded your body....you knew she was allergic...she could not get stung. You picked her up and threw her into a mound of unbaled hay dislodging every yellow jacket from her leg, as though the magnet that held them was no more. You knew this wasn't enough....hornets may follow her...so without any regard for yourself you pulled the most unselfish distraction...Your tap dance and taekwando lessons you took as a child kicked into full display....jumping in that hole you danced with such force, speed and agility, that every wasp realized, you were their target. The performance was one for the ages, the pain of 69 venomous injections from these possessed flying she-devils masked any sensation that your ankle broke at the first stomp in that little grassy pit of hell. Victory was yours, the battlefield was filled with hundreds of little corpses....your niece spared from even one sting. You hobbled over to her, trying not to cry as she met your embrace with tears and the words..."Aunty, I love you"....and in that moment, despite all the pain....you felt the serenity of nature, family and love return to your heart in a teary waterfall of wonder and emotion.
 
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Last week to Enter!!!

Oh I am enjoying this soooo much ;)
1 week left to get your anecdotes on the list for your chance to win!!! Remember if you've already written a story you can increase your chances by writing another.

Good Luck to all!!!​
 

LM987

Active member
Dec 28, 2015
396
69
28
after watching the video of the infamous table, I think it is safe to say I would not last 15 minutes should I be the chosen one. ;)

One question on clarity of the prize. You refer to it as a "show", so is the winner a spectator or being viewed by others?
Assuming the fellow on the table has some way to view what is going on under the table too?
 
What I mean by show is that you don't get to interact with me as I manipulate you & your manhood; you only get to watch in the mirrors at the head of the table (as seen in video).

As for lasting, I've been in industry long enough to learn many way to tease & deny you to last 15min ;)
 

blackcad

Active member
Dec 5, 2010
242
215
43
You were prettying yourself up for a date, and first order of business was a shower. Time was short so it was time for short-cuts when you noticed you left the mango-coconut scented body wash lotion on top of the toilet tank about 5 feet from the shower. You, had the generic stuff in the shower, but your waiting, wet, warm and willing skin needed that tube of scented deliciousness to satiate itself. Your skin was not to be negotiated with. Putting down a towel and walking over wasn't an option for you, because you had a better way, besides, you needed that towel, and who wants a wet towel post - shower...certainly not you.....you knew your gorgeous legs and feet could do spectacular tricks anyway. You, like a professional ballerina, with grace and dignity, extended a beautiful limb while perched on the other leg like a statue with that wonderful waterfall of liquid warmth cascading down your side....all while keeping the floor quite dry.....If only Michaelangelo was still alive to use you as a model it would rival the Venus de Milo at that moment, you thought.

As your toes, like cute little limber fingers picked up the bottle......like a Shakespearian tragedy....your other foot started to lose its purchase on the slippery ceramic. Grace was still your primary concern, as though your imaginary audience was there and watching, when Gravity should have taken priority in your mind. OOPS....HERE COMES YOUR MISTAKE. In an effort to be graceful, you attempted a leap, like a Thompson Gazelle on the African Savannah escaping a lion, resulting in the foot that was grasping the body wash, to land in the toilet bowl. As your body cascaded to the unforgiving tile, your foot, trapped in that watery porcelain prison, was pushed in a way that nature said "Ummmm....I don't think so Nikki".

You, through the searing pain, still looked for a silver lining, because that's how you live your life and told yourself..."I'm glad I cleaned the toilet before the shower"....there were no tears despite the pain....which surprised even yourself....and in that moment you learned something about yourself....as you laughed at your own beautiful and wonderful eccentricity.
 

Mr Quim

Cunnilingus Connoisseur
Jan 14, 2007
1,700
496
83
The beautiful Fraser Valley !
Take 2 !

It's a Saturday morning, your Phone rings . You answer, it's your long lost Cousin from Alberta, Wiley . He's on a whirl-wind trip to Surrey, to pick up something he bought through E-Bay online . And, he needs a Place to stay, just for one Night ?

He's family, how can You say No ?
He says great, He'll probably be there late in the afternoon, just before Dinner .
You say that's fine, the only problem, is that You won't be able to hang-out with Him for the evening . Your very sorry, but, it's your BFF Girlfriend's Bachelorette party tonight . And You're the M/C, so there's no way, You can get out of It !
Wily says No worries, he understands, and He'll see You later today .

You're busy all day, getting the last minute Things ready for the Party .
You're pulling out all the Stops, making sure this is a Party your Girlfriends will never forget !
It's getting late in the afternoon, almost time for You to leave, as You girls are going for Dinner first to start the Evening . And You want to get to the Restaurant, a little early, to set-up some Decorations .

Finally, Wiley shows up . By now, You're running late ! You quickly show Wiley around your Place . You've set him up to Sleep in your Bedroom, because your Girlfriend is staying over in your spare Bedroom . And You'll sleep on the Couch, for the night . You tell him, to make yourself at Home, and You'll see him in the Morning .

Well, the Bachelorette Party is a Hit !
Your posse of Ladies, have a Blast !
The night, couldn't have turned out any better, or so You think ? But, it's really late, and all You girls are feeling no Pain .
But, that's about to change ? You, and the Bride to be, catch a Taxi home to your Place .

You get home, and your place is understandably dark . You manage to fumble your way, through your place, and get your girlfriend tucked in to her Bed . You're fumbling your way, back to the the living room, to crash on the Couch .
Then it happens, Kerpow !

The sound of screeching, Rusty Metal, and the Pain is excruciating !
Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot you think to yourself ! You didn't have that many Shots of Tequila, to overcome the pain of this situation ? You've found out why, and what your crazy cousin from Alberta, came to pick Up !
A Bear Trap !

It turns out, Wiley is an avid, or should we say rabid Collector of antique Bear Traps . And this One, is a rare Grizzly Bear Trap . What Wiley is also a connoisseur of, is the Herb . He calls his Stash, "Wild Rose", he clones it himself . Where these two paths cross, is where You find yourself Now .

Soon after You left for the evening, Wiley brought his latest addition to his Collection, in to your Place . And set it Up, on your Living room floor . A harmless Idea, at the Time . Unfortunately, the Train that's going to leave the Tracks, was just departing the Station .

You see, it had been a long hectic Day for Wiley ! Up early, lots of driving, and the stress of not knowing if his E-Bay purchase was legit ? Well, what better way to unwind, than partaking in a little Herb . Some sweet Vape, from his new friend the Firefly 2 .

Problem is, Wiley the crazy SOB that he can be, should have Triggered that Grizzly Bear Trap ! Before he enjoyed his Ganja ? We all know how this Story goes ? Wiley had a few pulls of Vape . He was enjoying the Moment, sitting on the couch, staring at his new Treasure proudly displayed on your Living room floor .

But, he got Side-Tracked ! He hadn't eaten, since Lunch, a greasy Burger on the Road-Trip to Surrey . Wiley had the Munchies big time . You did tell him, help yourself, make yourself at Home ? Wiley was going to take You up on your hospitality, and Raid your Fridge ! After grazing, on some of your tasty Left-Overs, Wiley was getting tired . It'd been a long Day, and You had a TV in your Bedroom . Perfect way to end his Day, he thought, watching a good Show !

But, Wiley by this Time, had haphazardly forgotten about the Trap ? He fell asleep !

To make a long Story, a little shorter, You set-off the Trap for Wiley . Oooooouuuch !!!
And that's how You broke your Ankle .
The End .

Morale of this Story: Friends come & go in our Lives ? But, Family is for Life ! LOL

Cheers
 
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Only a few hours left to enter your anecdotes!!!

This could be you!!!


Good luck to all those that enter and I'm wet with anticipation to manipulate the winner's manhood under my Milking table while he watches me in the mirror!
 
Where do we vote?
Voting is now open!!!

This was a difficult choice as you all wrote so well. Good luck to Blackcad, VulvaMan & d_b_99 ;)

I'm wet with anticipation to meet the winner ... well is manhood under the Milking Table!!!​
 
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