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Thread: A little help from the PERB community

  1. #1
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    A little help from the PERB community

    I was very recently made aware that one of the women with whom I have spent fantastic, fun times with and a helluva lot of $$$$ over the course of several meetings...has been discussing me and my intimate details (information, actual identity, etc) with another one of her clients.

    Just because I live in a small province and I am in a similar industry with her other client.

    This has absolutely devastated me. Because this other paramour now is aware of my identity and my hobbying habits. I have no known idea whom he is. The sense of fairness and the total lack of discretion by the SP has just floored me.

    I mean, one of the bedrock ideals of this hobby is fun with discretion. I have always chosen to be discreet in my hobbying and NOW....

    What is your advice, opinions, etc.

    The SP is a very, very well travelled and very, very well known individual. How should I approach this situation..

    Sincerely
    Stabbed through the heart, Betrayed.
    Courtesy 1st, Charm 2nd, Wit, 3rd

  2. #2
    lounge access denied :(
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    well that depends.... if you have no idea who the other client is ,how did you come by the knowledge that she has a) shared your personal info and b) that he is in a similar industry? where have you gotten YOUR information?

  3. #3
    Although she is to blame for not understanding discretion. You were the one that opened up with real details of your life. If you were not prepared for the potential consequences, then you shouldn't have done such. I know one can be placed in a vulnerable position but it's imperative to keep your guard up.

    To rectify the situation? Tell her what she's done (if she is really known and travelled, she'll understand her mistake). And I wouldn't see her again personally (tell her this as well, money speaks)


    Quote Originally Posted by cherise View Post
    well that depends.... if you have no idea who the other client is ,how did you come by the knowledge that she has a) shared your personal info and b) that he is in a similar industry? where have you gotten YOUR information?
    It sounds like the client knew it was the OP and contacted him saying she had released details on him.

  4. #4
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    This is correct




    It sounds like the client knew it was the OP and contacted him saying she had released details on him.[/QUOTE]
    Courtesy 1st, Charm 2nd, Wit, 3rd

  5. #5
    If you can find out from her who the other client is and his personal info you can use that as possible leverage in a worst case scenario.

    Sorry Iroc for this short blurb.

    Cherise baby could you clear your inbox please.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by borko View Post
    That sounds pretty sketchy and extortiony though..
    Yeah that might be a bit extreme; scratch/disregard that idea.

  7. #7
    Oh Iroc I'm sorry this happened to you

    Quote Originally Posted by google_123 View Post
    Although she is to blame for not understanding discretion. You were the one that opened up with real details of your life. If you were not prepared for the potential consequences, then you shouldn't have done such. I know one can be placed in a vulnerable position but it's imperative to keep your guard up.
    What did we say back in the day "find them , feel them, fuck them and forget em" and because of the "hobby" men pay, for some its because they want to FFF and Forget them and for some it is more than getting their rocks off it is about building a connection it does enhance the get together ...I have been fortunate enough to build friendships with several of my "patients" that have been with me from the beginning whether when I started touring or my start in Vancouver and I feel honored that they feel they can trust me enough to tell me about whats going on in their lives whether it was their night out with their buddies or something about their wives and children, work.

    I believe in the saying "all we really have is our word" and if someone says you can trust them you should be able to. I am not so naive to believe that everyone is like this for some its not all about the $$$$ its about truly delivering what you say you are going too and for me that's a clean, safe and DISCREET rendezvous.

    Big Hugs Iroc

    Vanessa Kelly

  8. #8
    I wouldn't see her again.
    I might even consider posting a review and saying she revealed private information, but I would have to think long and hard on that, but sure as hell, I would never see her again.
    I don't know what else you can do but lay low and hope it just blows over, but she and me would be done.



    I have seen my sp a long time, she has mentioned other clients. She has even told me she is totally pissed at some guys.
    But never has she revealed their handle or any personal info. She has only mentioned them in the most general terms. And that she was pissed. To the end she has protected these guys.

    I agree its one of the unspoken rules out there.
    A lady I met in a bar wanted to see me, we had a meet and greet, she had a loose mouth. I never did see her, in the bar, just on a meet and greet she told me handles and names and companies for a couple of her clients. Just not cool.

    I think the best advice is to not trust an sp until you get a feel for her. See if she has a loose mouth etc.

    Even emails, I was told once several of my emails I sent an sp were being passed around.
    Seriously you don't trust anyone until you know what there like.

    But you know, I think some escorts get it, there are rules even in this.
    My sp does get it and another lady I spent some time with does to just be careful.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Hatrick View Post
    Use a pooner name never your real one!
    Exactly... Hence why "Blazejowski" will always be a part of me, but never the real me...

  10. #10
    What the fuck??? Why is everyone being so nice here??? She broke THE cardinal rule and outed a fucking client!!! You need to stop with the vague shit and say outright who the sp is so no other guy has to risk the same fate as you! When you breech confidentiality in this industry, you should be DONE! over with! Adios! Fuck you very much!
    That goes for client or provider alike!

    As far as the OP offering self disclosure, that is what MANY men see sp's for, not just sex, but an ear, a shoulder, a sympathetic comfort during hard times! You shouldn't have to be guarded when you're with a reputable sp, as she respects your confidentiality, as you respect hers. That's what makes a good sp GREAT! They feel like a friend and a lover!
    Sure I'll meet your mom, is she hot?

  11. #11
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    Being too careful about you and your field of work should be your first concern when it comes to discussions with SP's. Especially in small towns.

    Vancouver is a pretty big place but in 'general', I have figured out a lot about other pooners when in discussion with some SP's? It is not hard to figure out who the other clients are in general when it comes to their particular industry. Tis a small world indeed.

  12. #12
    This situation is unforgivable.

    I imagine that, once said SP discovered her new client was in the same business as the OP, she forgot/ignored the cardinal SP/client rule and began discussing the OP and their mutual industry. Maybe it made her appear knowledgeable; maybe she's a name-dropper, who practices this to make herself seem important. It sounds like the new client didn't stop her. Instead he listened intently and engaged in the conversation, and then decided to inform the OP via e-mail, perhaps from a dummy address.

    I am not in favour of either a) outing the SP, or b) bringing the situation up with her.

    Here's the thing: although the OP may feel a connection with and even an obligation to this community (he did bring it up here), his first loyalty has to be to himself and his personal privacy. If he outs her (name/identity/city etc), he risks retaliation from her, whereby his identity could be further compromised. If he brings up the situation with her, and it doesn't go well, the same outcome could ensue.

    What a shit storm. I really feel for the OP because it isn't all that uncommon for client identities to be discovered, even when fake names are used. Yes, there is supposed to be the expectation of a level of trust, but we're dealing with human beings here, and I doubt the SP had any maleficent intentions with the conversation.

    With such a huge breach of integrity, the OP may have to re-consider his participation in the hobby altogether. As has been mentioned, some men really are looking for friendship, a place to reveal aspects of themselves, a safe harbour from a somewhat cruel business world. But perhaps our OP just went too far, gave away too much, and the truth came back to bite him.

    Perhaps just keeping a low profile is the only option at the moment. Since she doesn't seem to have had a second thought about what she was doing, she's probably long forgotten the conversation with the whistle-blower.

    I would be very thankful that the guy came forward at all. imho
    Last edited by PlayfulAlex; 03-06-2013 at 02:07 PM.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by trackstar View Post
    What the fuck??? Why is everyone being so nice here??? She broke THE cardinal rule and outed a fucking client!!! You need to stop with the vague shit and say outright who the sp is so no other guy has to risk the same fate as you! When you breech confidentiality in this industry, you should be DONE! over with! Adios! Fuck you very much!
    That goes for client or provider alike!
    I kind of agree, but, its the op's decision,
    Getting into a flame war with some one may just make everything his personal info more public, and may bring other pooners into it.
    And frankly other guys who sat there and listened to her big mouth and returned to her, and maybe spread rumors are they any better then the sp.

    I wouldn't return to an sp who sat there and gave me names etc. And I sure as hell wouldn't repeat them no matter what.

  14. #14
    westcoast555
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iroc View Post
    I was very recently made aware that one of the women with whom I have spent fantastic, fun times with and a helluva lot of $$$$ over the course of several meetings...has been discussing me and my intimate details (information, actual identity, etc) with another one of her clients.

    Just because I live in a small province and I am in a similar industry with her other client.

    This has absolutely devastated me. Because this other paramour now is aware of my identity and my hobbying habits. I have no known idea whom he is. The sense of fairness and the total lack of discretion by the SP has just floored me.

    I mean, one of the bedrock ideals of this hobby is fun with discretion. I have always chosen to be discreet in my hobbying and NOW....

    What is your advice, opinions, etc.

    The SP is a very, very well travelled and very, very well known individual. How should I approach this situation..

    Sincerely
    Stabbed through the heart, Betrayed.
    You have every reason to be pissed off.. but you should chill out. Nobody is trying to extort you right? You also have plausible deniability... everything is just hearsay.

    Doesn't sound like it was done maliciously or with the intent to extort ( not that that is any excuse whatsoever ).

    Just be careful... and remember if they threw every man in jail whose ever seen an SP the streets would be more empty than 7:00 am on Christmas morning.

    I know it's tough if you are in a smaller town etc. but just relax. Maybe clarify with the SP what's been divulged and ask her to respect your privacy. This other person has no proof and has not indicated any agenda?

    Thanks for posting and I think it's a reminder to every one to be discreet. Good luck.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Lost-In-Japan View Post
    Whilst I would agree about the personal risk of picking a fight with the SP (who already knows too much about him), I think he should not only PM his buddies, but offer in public, in THIS thread, to answer anyone’s PM about who the SP is.

    Regardless of her reasons, somewhere between Evil and Oopps I would imagine, she has no business being an SP if she is unable to keep private details private.

    I for one would like to make sure that I NEVER book her.

    So how about it Iroc, can anyone PM you to ask who she is, and prevent the same fate should they drop their guard?
    Wow, if you think that sending information in a PM somehow protects the OP and ensures his privacy, that's funny!

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