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Thread: One Day She'll Fly Away

  1. #1
    Too Old To Die Young
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    One Day She'll Fly Away

    A few months ago, I learned that my all time favourite VIP dancer at the 5 had moved on. I hadn't seen her in a very long time. For quite a while I was still being told by other regular patrons that I've become friendly with that they had still seen her around and it seemed like my timing was just really off. But I personally hadn't even heard from her since around the time of the Olympics, so I was starting to suspect that she may have moved on. One night, I was there with a friend for his birthday and I asked one of the other VIP dancers who knows me pretty well whether "favourite VIP" was still around at all. And she informed me that "favourite VIP" had found employment in another part of the country in the industry that I knew from our conversations over the years that she had gone to school for.

    Even though I had suspected that she had most likely moved on and I even had a new "first choice" VIP dancer for some months in her absence, I was surprised that the news hit me a lot harder than I thought it would. I mean, I was very happy for her that she achieved the goal that she set for herself. And I know that she had danced longer than she had originally planned to when the economy took a downturn, making even an entry level position in her chosen field much more difficult to find. But "favourite VIP" and I had years worth of rapport built up. You know, I don't really know what those intangible things are that make me feel like I have a "connection" with one lady but not with another who may be just as friendly, outgoing, personable and attractive. I only know that over the years, I had come to feel a fondness and affection for her that I can't deny. And, as I said, when I found out definitively that she had moved on, it hit me harder than I thought it would.

    Anyway, I did my best to deal with it. Try to keep it in perspective. Focus my attentions on others. More than a few others even Just when I thought that I was coming to terms with it, I had a session with an SP that I had become fond of and during that session she hints at the idea that she wants to focus more on school and will be making her availability more limited. It sounded like she didn't want to come right out and say that she was moving on but it seemed like that was what she was getting at. Then another SP that I had enjoyed some time with posts a retirement thread. Then another dancer whom I felt was more like a friend also discusses with me how she's no longer feeling fulfilled by the business and is considering turning her focus more seriously towards her eductaion. Again, for each one, they want to move on for the right reasons and I wish each of them the best but it doesn't make it any easier seeing them go.

    I remember a post from last year when an SP that I amdired a lot posted a retirement thread. In my opinion, she always had a way of bringing an interesting perspective and insight to a subject. I wish I could remember exactly what she posted now. I wish I could find it and reference it again but she had her handle and posting history removed when she left. But the gist of it was that for those of us who do build a rapport or "relationship" of sorts over a period, inherently, we know that the "relationships" in this business will come to an end. That's just the nature of it. But I also remember a post from another member, who has also seemingly had his handle and posts removed, where he mentioned being in "mourning of something that was never really there" when a favourite of his moved on.

    Sometimes, I envy those of you who can compartmentalize your feelings when it comes to this. I only know that I can't do it completely. As I mentioned, I don't always feel the same level of "connection" for whatever reason but I can't help but feel some level of fondness for any woman who will share the type of intimacy with me that the women of this business have been willing to share with me. And I also can't help but be wistful about it every time someone that I've been fond of moves on even though I always wish them nothing but the best as they do.

    You dance with the devil and the devil don't change. The devil changes you!


  2. #2
    Too Old To Die Young
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    If You're Gone

    You've seen her a couple of times now. She tells you she only plans to do this for another year.

    Or another lady seems to be "unavailable" for months at a time. Ultimately, she does advertise availability again but in the meantime you don't know if she's quit the business or not. Maybe you move on to somebody else in that time but you still hope that she'll be back again.

    Or yet another lady has posted that she's taking a break and will be back in a few months. Only she never returns.

    You dance with the devil and the devil don't change. The devil changes you!


  3. #3
    Too Old To Die Young
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    Another One Bites the Dust

    Yet another SP posts that she's retiring from the business. Maybe you've seen her and would have liked to see her again. Or maybe she was just someone that you admired from her posts and hoped you might have a chance to meet one day.

    You dance with the devil and the devil don't change. The devil changes you!


  4. #4
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    More Than a Feeling

    "So many people have come and gone
    Their faces fade as the years go by
    Yet I still recall as I wander on
    As clear as the sun in the summer sky"

    "When I'm tired and thinking cold
    I hide in my music, forget the day
    And dream of a girl I used to know
    I closed my eyes and she slipped away"

    You dance with the devil and the devil don't change. The devil changes you!


  5. #5
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    I wish you well.

    Last edited by Man Mountain; 03-29-2011 at 03:16 AM. Reason: just cuz
    You dance with the devil and the devil don't change. The devil changes you!


  6. #6
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    She's Gone

    "Think I'll spend eternity in the city
    Let the carbon and monoxide choke my thoughts away
    The pretty bodies help dissolve the memories
    But they can never be what she once was to me"

    You dance with the devil and the devil don't change. The devil changes you!


  7. #7
    Great music, wonderful thoughts!

    I have fond memories of clients I knew 20 years ago and I miss the great sex we had and also the clever banter and cuddles. Funny cause when I think of them, and I remember their faces distinctly, it seems like yesterday I last saw them. Chances are these women think of you too, and, you will always be one of their better memories of the biz.

    So, now it seems like you have cut your teeth on working girls and you are ready for an actual relationship.

    See, the thing about relationships is that, if both are willing to work at it, you can have all that great sex and cuddling for a much longer period of time.

  8. #8
    I have had a couple of similiar experiences MM and felt similiar feelings of loss. There is one SP that i saw regularily for a few years who left the biz and a more than a year later I still think of her with fondness and wonder how she is doing.

  9. #9
    I know just how you feel, MM. I've been there a few times. I wish you much strength.

    I think you've likely read this one before, but you might enjoy it again.

    --------------------------------------------------
    Pooner Diaries: Retiree
    (originally posted 3-19-2008)

    It's a bittersweet day.

    We spoke today when I came to visit. You told me about your new career. I saw the excitement in your eyes, heard the enthusiasm in your voice. It's truly a great opportunity for you, and I know that this is what you always wanted. You're going to move on from this phase of your life. Pull that ad. Close that email address, change your cellphone number. Peel away that identity that you've worked to perfect all these years, like a snake shedding its old skin and past life.

    I'm happy for you, I truly am. But I can't help but feel a little sadness at this passing. We've shared a lot of time together, my favorite. We've known a lot of joy together. But beyond that joy and the commercial exchange, we have become friends after a fashion as well.

    But our friendship has nowhere to go, both literally and figuratively. I remember the day when we passed by each other in the street. We were both alone, and we could have spoken, I suppose. But discretion requires us to pass by without a word. If anyone was watching us, they would have seen me pass by, a half-smile on my face as I looked away the only clue that we knew each other. And without my coming by every so often to visit, that friendship will wither away from neglect. And I'm just going to let it go.

    I asked if I could stay in touch. And I saw the quickly passing flicker in your eyes that told me it wasn't to be, as your words assured me that we would. For I recognized that you were in character then, as the pliant and ever willing woman, eager to please, ready to do my bidding. The woman that I know is not really you, in other words. The woman that will be shed along with this identity. So we will be close by to each other, but miles apart.

    This is a strange business. Neither of us is supposed to care, outside that hour. That's not part of the bargain. But it's impossible not to, at least a little. And this change is wonderful for you. It's what you've dreamed about, your goal, your final payoff from your time spent with me and others. So yes, I feel glad for you.

    And I feel a little sad, for me.

  10. #10
    The subtext of what you are saying is that you feel a sense of betrayal. Otherwise you would just accept that she did what she said she was planning to do.

    You have to remember that while you might feel a connection to her as your "special" lady, it is pretty unlikely that she will feel the same way about you as you will be one of many "special" clients to her. You dont see the other guys in the relationship but she does.

    Think of it this way, you are a kid in front of a pit of balls, and the ball master gives you one of them, your own "special" ball. It is important to you because the ball master his/her self gave it to you. You treasure that ball. The problem is that the ball master gave a thousand kids their own "special" ball. For the ball master you were just one of a thousand. Sure, he/she made a fuss about it and handed the ball over with great pomp and ceremony, and you felt like a king, but he/she was just doing their job.

    Perspective is different depending on where you are standing.

  11. #11
    Too Old To Die Young
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    Quote Originally Posted by Birdboy View Post
    I know just how you feel, MM. I've been there a few times. I wish you much strength.

    I think you've likely read this one before, but you might enjoy it again.

    --------------------------------------------------
    Pooner Diaries: Retiree
    (originally posted 3-19-2008)
    Thank you for that, Birdboy. I wish I had remembered that when I was posting because you encapsulated it all so perfectly. Maybe this part should be a sticky somewhere.

    Quote Originally Posted by Birdboy View Post
    This is a strange business. Neither of us is supposed to care, outside that hour. That's not part of the bargain. But it's impossible not to, at least a little.
    Quote Originally Posted by HunkaHunkaBurninLuv View Post
    You're a good man MM.
    Quote Originally Posted by sperminator View Post
    5184

    You're a good man, Manly Mountain.
    I want to thank each of you for the sentiment and want you each to know that I think the same of both of you. Manly cyber hugs for all!
    You dance with the devil and the devil don't change. The devil changes you!


  12. #12
    Too Old To Die Young
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    Star Baby

    "And my heart is like a photograph...
    album
    Of all the good times and the bad...
    and I've had some
    Where I miss this girl...
    and I miss that girl...
    I don't miss that girl but...
    sometimes I miss this girl
    But you...
    You're my STAR, baby!"



    You dance with the devil and the devil don't change. The devil changes you!


  13. #13
    Well I'm creeped out.

  14. #14
    Too Old To Die Young
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    An excellent post by SweetVIPs in another thread:

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetVIPs View Post
    One thing I can say is that over the years I have learned girls come and go - and sometimes they even come back If you see someone you like - enjoy your time with them in the moment - have fun with eachother - like your never going to see eachother again... that's kinda part of the fun right?
    and hey if you do get to see them again - BONUS! - and enjoy those moments for what they are ... just remember its not forever !
    You dance with the devil and the devil don't change. The devil changes you!


  15. #15
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    I feel for you Bro.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us again!

    WS.
    Better to remain silent...

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