One Day She'll Fly Away
by, 01-03-2014 at 08:38 AM (906 Views)
Originally posted 03-29-2011, 12:58 AM http://perb.ca/vbulletin/showthread....he-ll-Fly-Away
A few months ago, I learned that my all time favourite VIP dancer at the 5 had moved on. I hadn't seen her in a very long time. For quite a while I was still being told by other regular patrons that I've become friendly with that they had still seen her around and it seemed like my timing was just really off. But I personally hadn't even heard from her since around the time of the Olympics, so I was starting to suspect that she may have moved on. One night, I was there with a friend for his birthday and I asked one of the other VIP dancers who knows me pretty well whether "favourite VIP" was still around at all. And she informed me that "favourite VIP" had found employment in another part of the country in the industry that I knew from our conversations over the years that she had gone to school for.
Even though I had suspected that she had most likely moved on and I even had a new "first choice" VIP dancer for some months in her absence, I was surprised that the news hit me a lot harder than I thought it would. I mean, I was very happy for her that she achieved the goal that she set for herself. And I know that she had danced longer than she had originally planned to when the economy took a downturn, making even an entry level position in her chosen field much more difficult to find. But "favourite VIP" and I had years worth of rapport built up. You know, I don't really know what those intangible things are that make me feel like I have a "connection" with one lady but not with another who may be just as friendly, outgoing, personable and attractive. I only know that over the years, I had come to feel a fondness and affection for her that I can't deny. And, as I said, when I found out definitively that she had moved on, it hit me harder than I thought it would.
Anyway, I did my best to deal with it. Try to keep it in perspective. Focus my attentions on others. More than a few others even Just when I thought that I was coming to terms with it, I had a session with an SP that I had become fond of and during that session she hints at the idea that she wants to focus more on school and will be making her availability more limited. It sounded like she didn't want to come right out and say that she was moving on but it seemed like that was what she was getting at. Then another SP that I had enjoyed some time with posts a retirement thread. Then another dancer whom I felt was more like a friend also discusses with me how she's no longer feeling fulfilled by the business and is considering turning her focus more seriously towards her eductaion. Again, for each one, they want to move on for the right reasons and I wish each of them the best but it doesn't make it any easier seeing them go.
I remember a post from last year when an SP that I amdired a lot posted a retirement thread. In my opinion, she always had a way of bringing an interesting perspective and insight to a subject. I wish I could remember exactly what she posted now. I wish I could find it and reference it again but she had her handle and posting history removed when she left. But the gist of it was that for those of us who do build a rapport or "relationship" of sorts over a period, inherently, we know that the "relationships" in this business will come to an end. That's just the nature of it. But I also remember a post from another member, who has also seemingly had his handle and posts removed, where he mentioned being in "mourning of something that was never really there" when a favourite of his moved on.
Sometimes, I envy those of you who can compartmentalize your feelings when it comes to this. I only know that I can't do it completely. As I mentioned, I don't always feel the same level of "connection" for whatever reason but I can't help but feel some level of fondness for any woman who will share the type of intimacy with me that the women of this business have been willing to share with me. And I also can't help but be wistful about it every time someone that I've been fond of moves on even though I always wish them nothing but the best as they do.