Carman Fox

Anger Management ;-)

Vancouver Sara

Exclusive Companion
When you occasionally have a really bad day,
> > and you just need to take it out on someone,
> > don't take it out on someone you know,
> > take it out on someone you don't know,
> > but you know deserves it.
> >
> > I was sitting at my desk when I remembered
> > a phone call I'd forgotten to make.
> >
> > I found the number and dialed it.
> >
> > A man answered, saying
> > 'Hello.'
> >
> > I politely said,
> > 'This is Chris.
> > Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'
> >
> > Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
> > 'Get the right f***ing number!'
> > and the phone was slammed down on me.
> >
> > I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
> >
> > When I tracked down Robyn 's correct number to call her,
> > I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
> > digits.
> >
> > After hanging up with her,
> > I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
> >
> > When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
> > 'You're an asshole!'
> > and hung up.
> >
> > I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it,
> > and put it in my desk drawer.
> >
> > Every couple of weeks,
> > when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
> > I'd call him up and yell,
> > 'You're an asshole!'
> >
> > It always cheered me up.
> >
> > When Caller ID was introduced,
> > I thought my theraputic 'asshole'
> > calling would have to stop.
> >
> > So, I called his number and said,
> > 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.
> > I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID
> > Program?'
> >
> > He yelled
> > 'NO!'
> > and slammed down the phone.
> >
> > I quickly called him back and said,
> > 'That's because you're an asshole!'
> > and hung up.
> >
> > One day I was at the store,
> > getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.
> >
> > Some guy in a black BMW
> > cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited
> > for.
> >
> > I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that
> > spot, but the idiot ignored me.
> >
> > I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window,
> > so I wrote down his number.
> >
> > A couple of days later,
> > right after calling the first asshole
> > (I had his number on speed dial,)
> > I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.
> >
> > I said,
> > 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
> >
> > He said,
> > 'Yes, it is.'
> >
> > I then asked,
> > 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
> >
> > He said,
> > 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax .
> > It's a yellow ranch style house and the car's parked right
> > out in front.'
> >
> > I asked,
> > 'What's your name?'
> >
> > He said,
> > 'My name is Don Hansen,'
> >
> > I asked,
> > 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'
> >
> > He said,
> > 'I'm home every evening after five.'
> >
> > I said,
> > 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'
> >
> > He said,
> > 'Yes?'
> >
> > I said,
> > 'Don, you're an asshole!'
> >
> > Then I hung up,
> > and added his number to my speed dial, too.
> >
> > Now, when I had a problem,
> > I had two assholes to call.
> >
> > Then I came up with an idea...
> >
> > I called asshole #1.
> >
> > He said,
> > 'Hello.'
> >
> > I said,
> > 'You're an asshole!'
> > (But I didn't hang up.)
> >
> > He asked,
> > 'Are you still there?'
> >
> > I said,
> > 'Yeah!'
> >
> > He screamed,
> > 'Stop calling me,'
> >
> > I said,
> > 'Make me,'
> >
> > He asked,
> > 'Who are you?'
> >
> > I said,
> > 'My name is Don Hansen.'
> >
> > He said,
> > 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
> >
> > I said,
> > 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ,
> > a yellow ranch style home and
> > I have a black Beamer parked in front.'
> >
> > He said,
> > 'I'm coming over right now, Don.
> > And you had better start saying your prayers.'
> >
> > I said,
> > 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,'
> > and hung up.
> >
> > Then I called Asshole #2.
> >
> > He said,
> > 'Hello?'
> >
> > I said,
> > 'Hello, asshole,'
> >
> > He yelled,
> > 'If I ever find out who you are...'
> >
> > I said,
> > 'You'll what?'
> >
> > He exclaimed,
> > 'I'll kick your ass,'
> >
> > I answered,
> > 'Well, asshole, here's your chance.
> > I'm coming over right now.'
> >
> > Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
> > saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ,
> > and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
> >
> > Then I called Channel 7 News
> > about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax .
> >
> > I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .
> >
> > I got there just in time to watch two assholes
> > beating the crap out of each other
> > in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter
> > and surrounded by a news crew.
> >
> > NOW I feel much better.
> >
> > Anger management really does work.
 

IMBCK

Banned
Aug 9, 2008
46
1
0
Vancouver
Thanks for the funny Sara! :D
 

DQ Guy

Ice cream man
May 2, 2008
1,437
10
0
The monster under your bed
Thats too damn funny..
thanks for making my day:D :D
 
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