I had posted this on the other board, but realize that not everyone makes it over there, and I do want to thank the great gent's and the lovely ladies I have had the opportunity to meet and experience this past year.
Amazing how fast this month flew by.
When I think back to the very first time I viewed Perb (Terf hadn't been born yet) I remember sitting in awe of all the characters.
Hatrick intimidated the hell out of me
Sushi was the first to introduce himself and the first "member" I met, I still remember thinking " I have no idea what I am doing". Sushi led me through the 101's of surviving these boards and while at times I haven't always succeeded gracefully I am really grateful for his friendship in the early days and the open hand
A fellow SP (still unknown) wrote me a beautiful letter just days after my first "beating" on CL, while she wouldn't reveal who she was, I owe her a big thank you, as she clearly assisted me in understanding that there was a niche for all women, as long as they stayed true to themselves and true to there guest... So whoever you are, I never forgot that email and still grateful for the kind words.
JJinVan ( yes remember him,lol) was the first to drive me nuts, we seldom agreed but somehow I missed him when he left.
The amazing Perb/Terf boys I have been blessed to warm up with, Gentlemen that simply were classy, hot men and made this "job" a very enjoyable task.
My afternoon delight with Kehoe , which ironically is the most viewed review on my website ( what does that say boys??) LOL
The opportunity to tinker in writing erotica, and while no comparison to our own Birdboy - Simply Fall is one that will remain a favorite, hmm the hockey one too --- perhaps in my next chapter I will actually be able to live that one out
And the most important advice I have ever received was from a truly classy women -
Angel who has shared more valuable, insightful knowledge than any other lady I have witness. She truly is a women wise beyond her years and a true role model for anyone entering this profession. She has shared several tidbits but a couple have always stayed with me.
1. Never do anything for money, that you would NOT do for free, your self respect and self worth is worth more than any dollar value and is the biggest gift you can give yourself.
2. Be proud of who you are, and be at peace with it. She talked in a post, I believe on Perb about how difficult it was when her personal circle found out about her profession but went on to say it was a precious gift, as she can now live her life freely.
I can honestly say, that is the primary reason why I am retiring.
I have never felt that what I was "doing" was wrong. But lying to the ones I love daily has taken it's toll and effected my confidence and how much I like me. I realized that is a slippery slope because what ends up happening is you begin to look outside yourself for acceptance, because you are judging yourself--- not based on your occupation, but based on the never ending lies you have to tell in order to live that life.
At the end of the day, you end up spinning and unfortunately at times create havoc for others in the process. I did experience it and it was hell to admit that while I had always believed I was strong enough and confident enough to push through the negatives, subconsciously the lies to my family and closest friends was eating away at the core and making me question my worth. Took a mess to figure it out, but thankfully I did and had to make a decision based on what was best for me.
I have no regrets, and so grateful for the opportunity to learn more about me, my strengths and my weakness.
So, kisses...kisses kisses and ladies while I am not always the "popular" one with my opinions, I am always here for you...retired or not.
Now I am off to get as much sex as is remotely possible before I go back to the "single/never getting laid" Chickie
Cheers!
Aynia
Amazing how fast this month flew by.
When I think back to the very first time I viewed Perb (Terf hadn't been born yet) I remember sitting in awe of all the characters.
Hatrick intimidated the hell out of me
Sushi was the first to introduce himself and the first "member" I met, I still remember thinking " I have no idea what I am doing". Sushi led me through the 101's of surviving these boards and while at times I haven't always succeeded gracefully I am really grateful for his friendship in the early days and the open hand
A fellow SP (still unknown) wrote me a beautiful letter just days after my first "beating" on CL, while she wouldn't reveal who she was, I owe her a big thank you, as she clearly assisted me in understanding that there was a niche for all women, as long as they stayed true to themselves and true to there guest... So whoever you are, I never forgot that email and still grateful for the kind words.
JJinVan ( yes remember him,lol) was the first to drive me nuts, we seldom agreed but somehow I missed him when he left.
The amazing Perb/Terf boys I have been blessed to warm up with, Gentlemen that simply were classy, hot men and made this "job" a very enjoyable task.
My afternoon delight with Kehoe , which ironically is the most viewed review on my website ( what does that say boys??) LOL
The opportunity to tinker in writing erotica, and while no comparison to our own Birdboy - Simply Fall is one that will remain a favorite, hmm the hockey one too --- perhaps in my next chapter I will actually be able to live that one out
And the most important advice I have ever received was from a truly classy women -
Angel who has shared more valuable, insightful knowledge than any other lady I have witness. She truly is a women wise beyond her years and a true role model for anyone entering this profession. She has shared several tidbits but a couple have always stayed with me.
1. Never do anything for money, that you would NOT do for free, your self respect and self worth is worth more than any dollar value and is the biggest gift you can give yourself.
2. Be proud of who you are, and be at peace with it. She talked in a post, I believe on Perb about how difficult it was when her personal circle found out about her profession but went on to say it was a precious gift, as she can now live her life freely.
I can honestly say, that is the primary reason why I am retiring.
I have never felt that what I was "doing" was wrong. But lying to the ones I love daily has taken it's toll and effected my confidence and how much I like me. I realized that is a slippery slope because what ends up happening is you begin to look outside yourself for acceptance, because you are judging yourself--- not based on your occupation, but based on the never ending lies you have to tell in order to live that life.
At the end of the day, you end up spinning and unfortunately at times create havoc for others in the process. I did experience it and it was hell to admit that while I had always believed I was strong enough and confident enough to push through the negatives, subconsciously the lies to my family and closest friends was eating away at the core and making me question my worth. Took a mess to figure it out, but thankfully I did and had to make a decision based on what was best for me.
I have no regrets, and so grateful for the opportunity to learn more about me, my strengths and my weakness.
So, kisses...kisses kisses and ladies while I am not always the "popular" one with my opinions, I am always here for you...retired or not.
Now I am off to get as much sex as is remotely possible before I go back to the "single/never getting laid" Chickie
Cheers!
Aynia
Last edited: