My SP Girlfriend - Is This Overboard?

Bullseye

New member
Oct 6, 2007
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I've been dating a girl that works in a mp. We've been together for about seven months now and life has been one hell of a roller coaster ride. We are completely honest with each other and talk about our feelings all the time. Unlimited sex with the girl that used to be your favorite sp is fun, until it's time for her to go to work tonight and have sex with whoever comes a knockin'. Worse yet, when she comes over after work and is looking for more since she "only had 3 or 4 tonight and needs some more". I've been able to deal with most of the emotional issues relatively unscarred - until last night. She came over last night and I asked her about her night (we often talk about her clients so I don't get jealous). She told me that one of her clients was her ex boyfriend!!!! He was aparrently missing her and horny so he figured he'd kill two birds with one $250 stone. I've been pretty cool with her work until this. She considers it as just another client adding to her paycheck. Am I being too senastive or did she go overboard? I'd love to hear from the ladies on this one too, please.
 

IQof10

The One and Only
Feb 12, 2005
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Just another client otherwise she never would have told you. She has your trust so don’t blow it.
 

jordan_

New member
Dec 5, 2007
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Don't worry.
Its just another client
He missed her, she didn't miss him and until she does you have nothing to worry about, so don't get too jealous or upset or you might have to worry because its not pleasant for her and she may leave you:p
 
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FortunateOne

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Jan 29, 2008
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An ex is an ex for a reason. The reason doesn't vanish and how smug do you think she feels getting some $$$ out of him for something he used to get for 0? She no doubt told you because it gave her a chuckle, so don't worry about it.:D
 

xoxo Amie

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Sep 27, 2005
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holy pink elephant batman!

"If you can think up the question, you already know the answer"

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I've been dating a girl that works in a mp. We've been together for about seven months now and life has been one hell of a roller coaster ride. We are completely honest with each other and talk about our feelings all the time. Unlimited sex with the girl that used to be your favorite sp is fun, until it's time for her to go to work tonight and have sex with whoever comes a knockin'. Worse yet, when she comes over after work and is looking for more since she "only had 3 or 4 tonight and needs some more". I've been able to deal with most of the emotional issues relatively unscarred - until last night. She came over last night and I asked her about her night (we often talk about her clients so I don't get jealous). She told me that one of her clients was her ex boyfriend!!!! He was aparrently missing her and horny so he figured he'd kill two birds with one $250 stone. I've been pretty cool with her work until this. She considers it as just another client adding to her paycheck. Am I being too senastive or did she go overboard? I'd love to hear from the ladies on this one too, please.
a few words that come to mind
when i think of a loving caring relationship are:
kindness, compassion & thoughtfulness
i don't think your girlfriend's actions
was any of those things
her compulsive truth telling is not for your benefit
nor is it for the benefit of her relationship with you
did she really have to tell you about it ?
i think her 'indiscretion' is more telling
of emotional immaturity and low self esteem
i cannot see how anyone
with any sense of self awareness
or awareness of those around them
could do what she did to u
and not know that it would be hurtful
to both u and her relationship with you

treat your loved ones with care
act like the person that deserves their love and consideration
 
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ihatemyskirt

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Aug 17, 2004
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a few words that come to mind
when i think of a loving caring relationship are:
kindness, compassion & thoughtfulness
i don't think your girlfriend's actions
was any of those things
her compulsive truth telling is not for your benefit
or the benefit of her relationship with you
did she really have to tell you about it ?
i think her 'indiscretion' is more telling
of emotional immaturity and low self esteem
i cannot see how anyone
with any sense of self awareness
or awareness of those around them
could do what she did to u
and not see know that it would not be hurtful
to both u and her relationship with you

I couldn't agree more.
 

ihatemyskirt

Member
Aug 17, 2004
619
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“Your greatness is

measured by your kindness;

your education and intellect by your modesty;

your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicions and prejudices,

and your real caliber is measured

by the consideration and tolerance you have for others.”

William J. H. Boetcker quotes
 

Claptix

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Nov 23, 2003
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I was going to throw my two cents in. However, I do not think I could answer it any better that Amie.

JC
 

sonoman

Leg man.
May 14, 2005
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Don't worry.
Its just another client
He missed her, she didn't miss him and until she does you have nothing to worry about
Unfortunately, things don't really work that way. A bit naive, no? You've just outlined exactly his concern: she has a past history with her ex and previous emotional attachment with him. It's not just another client, and you've already indicated why [see bold].

Some of you daydreamers need to give your head a shake.
 

jordan_

New member
Dec 5, 2007
218
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Unfortunately, things don't really work that way. A bit naive, no? You've just outlined exactly his concern: she has a past history with her ex and previous emotional attachment with him. It's not just another client, and you've already indicated why [see bold].

Some of you daydreamers need to give your head a shake.
It doesn't mean she still has feelings for him.
Its not like every ex I run into or hang out with I start to miss.
actually I think thats only happened once.
He is the ex for a reason
he's no more special than a regular, unless she allows him to be
 

SexyBoy

Looking for a Sexy Girl
Oct 2, 2006
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1
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"If you can think up the question, you already know the answer"


a few words that come to mind
when i think of a loving caring relationship are:
kindness, compassion & thoughtfulness
i don't think your girlfriend's actions
was any of those things
her compulsive truth telling is not for your benefit
nor is it for the benefit of her relationship with you
did she really have to tell you about it ?
i think her 'indiscretion' is more telling
of emotional immaturity and low self esteem
i cannot see how anyone
with any sense of self awareness
or awareness of those around them
could do what she did to u
and not know that it would be hurtful
to both u and her relationship with you

treat your loved ones with care
act like the person that deserves their love and consideration

I disagree.

When a person is always honest then you know exactly where you stand. If she tells you it meant nothing emotionally then you don't have to second-guess. When you start hiding the truth trust issues start to grow. HELLO! This is the stuff SOAP OPERAS are made out of.

The problem is so many people are dishonest or hide the truth so much that no one believes anyone anymore. The truth or information somehow has a way of showing up. Imagine he runs into the ex and the ex tells him how he banged his gf. If he already knew then he could at least say hey thanks for the money she bought me a... etc.

If he doesn't know and he is insecure he might start thinking of the worst-case scenarios. Insecurity sets in with dishonest people or people that hide the truth. I think it is important to let us make our own decisions with the information we are given. Everyone has the right to choose. Keeping the facts away from us is not allowing us to make those decisions for ourselves thinking that you know what is best.

He is in a SP relationship it was his decisions. Now he has to deal with his insecurities. Some people focus on the future too much and need to live in the moment a little bit more. There is no guarantee that your SO is always going to be your SO. It is best to focus your energies on her and the relationship instead of other people. Now if she leaves you it is either her loss or it wasn't meant to be. Who has time to deal with all the what ifs?

And please if you can think up the question you already know the answer.... Get real! Have you really thought about what you just said? Imagination does not equal facts or the truth. Instead imagination is what drives us to find out the truth of the possibility.

Ok so Venusians normally let another person know it is their turn to speak by asking a question. In that case they probably do already know the answer. Martians are more logical in their way of thinking though.

In his case his imagination is what is driving him to find out her feelings on this ex SO. She can refuse seeing any of her ex's if he really feels strongly about it. She never knew it was an issue because by the sounds of it he has never brought it up. For her to cross a line you must first draw the line. The reason you have to do that is because you are not in a normal relationship. The boundaries were changed from the very start. You need to open up to her how you are feeling and what you dislike.

I for one dislike any emotional relationships a SP SO would have with a client. She can have those with people she is non sexual with. Everyone has his or her rules etc. of what we want to be to our mate. It is what defines us as being the Significant Other.

She could have said I saw my ex today and boy am I ever so happy I ended up with you and not him because...
 

Bullseye

New member
Oct 6, 2007
13
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1
thanks for all the responses

Your answers are much like my discussions with my gf on this. She is of the opinion that he has become just another client and I say otherwise. She has however agreed to stop seeing him professionally for ME and I'm pleased that she has, except I wish she would've stop seeing him for OUR benefit.

It's a strange situation to be in, that's for sure. This whole dating an sp thing is like dating no other girl I've ever dated. It takes a great deal of self confidance and trust to know that your significant other is doing this for a living. Having the knowlege that a previous lover can return on a pay as you go basis is quite unnerving. I don't think that asking her to not see this one client is an unreasonable request. If she asked me to stop selling my widgets to a certain customer because that said customer of mine had offended her in some way, I would most certainly consider it. I feel that that's what you do for the people you care about.
 

SexyBoy

Looking for a Sexy Girl
Oct 2, 2006
2,047
1
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Your answers are much like my discussions with my gf on this. She is of the opinion that he has become just another client and I say otherwise. She has however agreed to stop seeing him professionally for ME and I'm pleased that she has, except I wish she would've stop seeing him for OUR benefit.

It's a strange situation to be in, that's for sure. This whole dating an sp thing is like dating no other girl I've ever dated. It takes a great deal of self confidance and trust to know that your significant other is doing this for a living. Having the knowlege that a previous lover can return on a pay as you go basis is quite unnerving. I don't think that asking her to not see this one client is an unreasonable request. If she asked me to stop selling my widgets to a certain customer because that said customer of mine had offended her in some way, I would most certainly consider it. I feel that that's what you do for the people you care about.
Just because a SP has sex on a regular basis with other men does not mean a non SP doesn't. It isn't hard to find women that want to cheat.

A lot of women cheat. However if you truely are a great guy then if they do the cost would be high. That is what you have to go on. Think of it as her loss not yours.
 

ihatemyskirt

Member
Aug 17, 2004
619
1
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liquid city
Unfortunately, things don't really work that way. A bit naive, no? You've just outlined exactly his concern: she has a past history with her ex and previous emotional attachment with him. It's not just another client, and you've already indicated why [see bold].

Some of you daydreamers need to give your head a shake.
Again, I agree without a doubt.
 

xoxo Amie

New member
Sep 27, 2005
364
9
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Vancouver
And please if you can think up the question you already know the answer.... Get real! Have you really thought about what you just said?
Thanks, I'm very real. :D
Yes, I did.

IMO, Bullseye did know & feel that his gf crossed 'his line'
that's why he's half-heartedly validating his feelings
by expressing his discontent
and confusion here on perb

I've been able to deal with most of the emotional issues relatively unscarred - until last night. ... Am I being too senastive or did she go overboard?
Bullseye, I truly feel for your dilemma
it's a yucky situation that could have been avoided
if only your girlfriend exercised some 'professionalism'
by leaving her work
at work
but we've long crossed that bridge
so there's no point in assigning blame
what's done is done

you're still left with the fact
that something about the whole situation
has obviously violated
one or more of your core values

it doesn't matter
what the collective opinion
of a hooker review board is
at the end of the day
they are 'your feelings'
feelings are not right or wrong or 'too sensitive'

u need to acknowledge and own your stuff/feelings
so your girlfriend can start taking them seriously too

and for the sake of your relationship with your girlfriend
she needs to recognize that her actions
have upset someone who truly cares for her

...She's your girlfriend!
it's a girlfriend's job to be
to be considerate of her boyfriend's feelings

girlfriends do not go out and about
acting in ways and saying things
that hurt our boyfriends
and when we thoughtlessly make mistakes
we acknowledge our boo-boo
and our boyfriend's feelings
and be mindful not to do it again
cuz we care about him

and that's speaking from experience
cuz i myself have been guilty
of being so stupid and careless
as to hurt someone
who (luckily for me)
cared about me enough
to even give a shit

you come across to me as being a
thoughtful, reasonable, understanding & patient guy
i genuinely hope you and your girl sort this all out
i do believe
if two people are committed
to care about ,
and care for each other
happiness is possible
 
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JFF009

Member
Oct 18, 2007
316
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Not that it matters but I think the fact that you sit and discuss her clients and how her night went is wrong. If you are truly accepting of what she does for a living then you would never need to know "how many" or "who" she had seen that night.
Honesty is great but there are limits. I think she mentioned the ex to either get a rise out of you or perhaps she is growing tired of the gf/bf thing and doesn't know how to best end it. I think if she really truly cared about the relationship you two have she would never have mentioned the ex. She would have left it at "I saw 4 clients tonight".
 

jordan_

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Dec 5, 2007
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Not that it matters but I think the fact that you sit and discuss her clients and how her night went is wrong. If you are truly accepting of what she does for a living then you would never need to know "how many" or "who" she had seen that night.
Honesty is great but there are limits. I think she mentioned the ex to either get a rise out of you or perhaps she is growing tired of the gf/bf thing and doesn't know how to best end it. I think if she really truly cared about the relationship you two have she would never have mentioned the ex. She would have left it at "I saw 4 clients tonight".

I don't think it should be discussed either. Maybe once in a while, but not every day after shift.
If her ex knows what she does, obviously she must have friends who do too, who she can talk to and thus, keep her sanity and get things off her chest if need be.
why does it have to be you?
If the role was reversed I wouldn't want to hear about it ever. Maybe a number, but thats it. no stories, or anything of that manner.
 
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