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Interesting column on prostitution in Winnipeg Sun

Avery

Gentleman Horndog
Jul 7, 2003
4,816
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38
Winnipeg
Laurie Mustard usually writes on fluffy, local events and human interest stories, but today he wrote a more serious column.

A consensual conundrum

Better to have regulated sex service than club pickups

By LAURIE MUSTARD

Winnipeg Sun

March 19, 2008

I'm pro-prostitute, and proud of it.

Let's be perfectly clear here, I am vehemently opposed to the exploitation of anyone for the purposes of prostitution, to slavery in any form. Without question, I detest the sexual exploitation and abuse of children in any way. Unconscionable.

However, to quote a prostitute empowerment website, "Prostitution alone is no harm, but crime in prostitution is harmful."

Exactly.

Remove the victimization, make retail sex legal, safe, and accessible for consenting adults, and let's finally make one of the most pleasant ingredients in life available to all.

And change the name from the nasty, demeaning label "prostitute", to the much kinder and appropriate "Intimate." Rolls off the tongue nicely, doesn't it?

"Excuse me, what is it you say you do, sir/ma'am?"

"I'm an intimate, specializing in everything from sexual intimacy and the passionate variations and options therein, to a conversationalist who listens with a compassionate ear. Sometimes, all that's asked of me is to give good company. There are a lot of lonely people out there."

I just heard a researcher on CNN a couple of nights ago say that something like 40% of the clients in his study just wanted someone to talk to.

So here's where I'm coming from.

What if you're one of those people who isn't lucky enough to find a "life" partner or just prefer to be single, but want a sex life?

Anyone who tells me it's safer to pick up a "meaningful relationship for the evening" to have sex with, rather than a government supervised and regulated intimate clinique professional, is nuts.

Drunk or drugged desperation dates, picking each other up at clubs or wherever to "swap fluids" with, are STD grenades. Lonely, horny people sometimes take dangerous risks, just for the sake of feeling temporarily connected and human. They deserve safer options.

Suffer in silence?

And what of someone trapped in a marriage or relationship where everything's pretty good except in the sexual preferences/needs area. Let's say it was good for the first 21 years, but then interest in that area waned in one of the partners.

Is the partner with the unchanged libido supposed to squelch feelings and needs that have been "normal and compatible" up to now?

What is that person supposed to do? Suffer in silence? Cheat? Leave a relationship that is 80% OK, but suddenly lacking in one of the most important aspects of any committed pairing?

And yes, while "loving oneself" may be healthy for a person's self-esteem, it's no replacement for a passionate partner.

I ran this column by a 60-something single female friend I have great respect for, and she said, "Excellent column. Time this got said. I'm all for legitimate professionals providing sex and intimacy options for consumers whose normal, healthy, legitimate needs are not being met."

Ralph to Edna (or vice-versa), "Honey, love ya, but you'll never get me golfing, watching Ultimate Fighting, and frankly, having sex once a month now is more than enough. Better stop by the clinique on your way home today. Enjoy. And don't forget bread!"

Think of it. Half of the word intimate is "mate."

Let my people glow.
 

SexyBoy

Looking for a Sexy Girl
Oct 2, 2006
2,047
1
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Best column ever!
 

Avery

Gentleman Horndog
Jul 7, 2003
4,816
14
38
Winnipeg
Today's follow-up column

Prostitution pros & cons

By LAURIE MUSTARD

Wow.

Tons of response to my "pro-prostitution and proud of it" rant yesterday. Somewhat surprisingly (as of writing this), most of the feedback has been positive, with only a couple of nays (one friendly, one not).

I'll take you through some of the pros, and wrap with a definite con:

"Laurie, loved it. Makes a lot of sense in a lot of ways. Happily married. Have not used the services of an intimate, friend, stray animal or plastic doohickey. Roger B. Frigault. Alta."

"Hello, Laurie. You make a pretty good case for the 'oldest profession'. Would certainly help relieve some of the regular Joe's tax burden if that industry could be tapped. Would also promote cleaner and safer sex for both the 'intimate' and the client. I think it works in Amsterdam, right? Sure sounds good on paper. Anne."

"Laurie, I am all for regulated and controlled 'sex parlours' (or any other acceptable name) for the protection of both parties, physically and mentally. Then I would hope the legal system would crack down hard on pimps, the greater scourge in this whole picture. Ian Mitchell, Ontario."

"Dear sir, I would like to say your article is excellent and gave me a feeling that maybe there is a silent majority out there. I have always believed in legalizing the 'intimate' trade and thus taking away the pimp's power and organized crime aspect, but when I say that, people look at me as a sinner and a fool. Thank you for making me feel like I'm not the only one out there. Sincerely, Gord, Dryden, Ont."

"Hi, Laurie. I am actually quite surprised by your take on this ... but good for you for voicing support on a very controversial topic. And while I do not disagree, legalizing it will also bring about men and possibly women who go and cheat and make the argument that the government says it is OK. There will be a ton of other issues that come up and relationships that go down, but if they do, how solid were they in the first place, right? Health issues first. Congrats, Kelly."

Probably a fact of life that cheaters are here to stay, but at least maybe this way they won't home go and infect their presumably innocent partner. Thanks for the feedback, folks. Sorry I can't fit them all in.

Here's that con I promised:

A voice message, from an older and very irate woman: "Laurie, I have a great solution for the prostitution problem. Hang all the johns by the balls."

Pardon?

"Tar and feather them -- you along with them -- and uh, throw on some gasoline. Then we would not have a prostitution problem. You men create it (clang!)."

You old sweet-talker, you. Give us a hug.
 
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